My daughter is 19 months old and had been a good night sleeper since she started sleeping through the night at 3 months old. We keep a pretty regular bedtime ritual and she would drink a bottle of milk before bed (8:30), sometimes falling asleep, other times just getting drowsy and I could just put he in bed for the night and we wouldn't hear a peep until 7:00 or 7:30 the next morning.
We dealt with cold and allergy issues this summer (just started at a daycare center 2 days a week) and there were some nights she would wake up crying due to severe dry mouth (from mouth breathing due to congested nose) or coughing etc. And we would help by sleeping with her upright or give her a little more TLC.
For some reason, the last few weeks have been awful. She cries if we put her to bed awake, she's waking up 1 or more times a night and wants to be in bed with me or cuddled to sleep. I've tried letting her cry it out, but it seems to just have intensified anxiety about bedtime, and even after 30-45 minutes of crying she's still just standing in her crib. I realize by "rescuing" her from bed I'm reinforcing the behavior, but it just doesn't seem to be working. I've thought about trying the Supernanny technique of putting her to bed, let her cry for a few minutes, go back in, give her a kiss and lay her back down in bed and repeat for hours on end.
I'm open for any suggestions or advise.
I think I really put a tremendous amount of pressure on myself about this situation. All the wonderful feedback I received has convinced me that every situation and child is unique and that I need to do what's best for my family and my daughter. I've started to concentrate more on providing comfort when my daughter wakes up in the night. By just giving her a few minutes of comfort when she wakes up, I can put her back in bed and off to sleep again. She may still wake up 1 or 2 more times, but I repeat the same. I feel better knowing she feels secure. And I am beginning to believe that this is just one of many phases to come.
Thank you to everyone for you suggestions.
Its her molars. At 19mos, they get them and it always is accompanied with sleep disruption. Try a little teeth gel and tylenol, and a sippy cup of ice always helped mine.
Does she sleep through the night if she is in bed with you? Co-sleeping can be a great thing, if done right for your family. We still have a 2 year old in bed with us. My 3 3/4 year old slept with us until he was about 3. We moved him to a mat on our bedroom floor and then into his own bed in is room. The transition happened without one tear. I am so happy we never forced him out of our bed. It won't be long before I start to transition our 2 year old out of our bed, but I'm not going to rush it.
You might want to read up on co-sleeping. Imagine being able to snuggle with your daughter every night and know she knows you are there to take care of her throughout the night. Some parents worry that if you let a baby sleep with you, that he/she will never leave. This is not true. My 3 year old takes complete pride in himself for sleeping in his own bed.
Anyway, if you don't want your daughter in bed for you, then I am sure you have your reasons. You could keep putting her to bed in her own bed for the first part of the night, and then letting her into your bed when she cries. If you keep trying to let her cry it out with out really forcing her to sleep on her own, then you will just increase her anxiety about bedtime.
I have suggested this website a lot of times before, but it really has helped me so much. www.askdrsears.com You can read up on co-sleeping and all sorts of things there. Please give it a visit before you make up your mind on how to handle your nighttime issues. Good luck.
My 22 month old son has the allergies and eczema rashes etc. that keeps him up at night and he has been worse lately too. We looked in his mouth the other night and his little gums were bleeding very badly so we have been giving him some Benedryl for the itching on the eczema and some extra strength orajel but it is even stronger than that we got it at CVS Hope this helps
Aedan still wakes up quite a bit even with this and he IS a Momma's boy big time too! Our oldest was the easiest baby and never woke up too much I guess we are paying for it now;)
Good luck with everything may check into if she is teething again?
My (2nd) daughter is 14 mos and we've had the same problems after a cold/allergies. We tried the "cry-it-out" method with our first daughter (going in every 5-10min) and whenever she had a cold, we'd have to go through that whole process again. NOT fun. So with this second one, we decided to just do whatever we needed to, to get her to sleep without too much upset. And she's a MUCH better sleeper than our first was.
We've found that during a cold, or with a new change (such as a daycare class change) she just needs extra attention for a couple weeks. So we go back to holding her until she falls asleep and when she wakes in the middle of the night, we go to her and help her. She has always been a great sleeper too, but sometimes reverts back to waking once or twice a night for a couple weeks. My advice is-- do what she wants you to do for a week or so and then gradually start trying to put her in bed JUST before she drifts off. You can ease her back into falling asleep on her own again. Trust me when I say that she won't be small forever. When mine wakes in the night, I try to really enjoy the moment (when I have her calm, that is) and enjoy holding her little warm body. My first is 5 yrs old now and trust me, at around age 4, their willingness to cuddle decreases dramatically. So enjoy it while you can.
You sound a bit like me-- I don't want to have to help my daughter fall asleep for the rest of her life (and I WOULD like a good nights sleep on a semi-regular basis), but at the same time, I don't want her to cry herself to sleep every night. And I CAN'T share my bed every night. I love my girls, but I need my own space sometimes, even if it's just when I'm asleep! A GREAT book to check out is "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley.
Some other things to try/investigate:
Elevate one end of the bed (phonebooks are great)
a cold-mist humidifier (keeps mouth & nasal passages moist)
Is she hungry? Growth spurts can make them need extra food
As long as you don't have too much of a problem with getting up in the middle of the night, don't worry too much about what you "should" be doing to make her a good sleeper. She really won't continue this pattern forever and the most important thing is to show her that you're there for her. THAT's the lesson that will have the most influence on her for the rest of her life.
I know the change in her going to daycare and the seperation anxiety may be causing some of her problems with sleep but to handle some of the other things that may be causing her and you both to loose sleep you could always try a few of the following things that have helped me with both of my girls.
With one of my girls all I had to do was rearrange her room a little bit and move her crib to a different position. I know this sounds silly but I read that advice in a magazine and it worked!! I also flipped and changed mattresses to try and make her more comfortable. If she has a doll that lights up like a glo worm that sings lullabyes to put to bed with her is also something I have done. Putting her to bed with a sippie cup of water would also be something to help her dry mouth and may help her from waking up screaming. In allergy season I also have to use a really flat pillow underneath one side of my youngests crib to elevate her head a little bit to help her breath. If not a pillow sometimes a folded blanket or towel will help elevate just a little bit.
The only other suggestion that I have tried is to put her to bed each night and sit next to crib with her each night for a few minutes with your hand on her back or just on the rail and ease out each night a little further of the room. Eventually it works that you dont have to sit in her room with her each night. I tried the nanny technique also and it didnt work with each of my girls it just upset them more instead of making them more relaxed.
R.,
Have you thought about having her checked out by a Ear Nose and Throat doctor? Sometimes there are the smallest problems with the nasal passages called a deviated septum this is when the nasal passages are either really small or close up causing them to have problems breathing at night. You might even have your doctor perform a sleep study. Little guys sometimes also can have sleep apnea where they actually stop breathing and it can scare them awake. Not trying to scare you but it might give you a little help in making sure medically your little one is okay. Also prop the head of the bed up this will help if there are some breathing issues. Hope I helped in some way.
Hi R.,
Well I would first check with Daycare and see where she is sleeping for her naps there.
The next thing are you ready to move her to a bigger bed, like a toddler bed or a twin size bed. If she is sleeping on a cot or a mat and then when she gets home she sleeps in a crib it may feel very confining to her.
I also think it might be her being used to getting up in the middle of the night now and you are just gonna have to break the cycle.
On the sleeping technique you can also lay her in her bed and you sit on the floor, don't talk to her and don't interact with her and each night move closer and closer to the door.
If when she was sick and you wereholding her in the middle of the night or sleeping with her this may be what she is wanting but I think with alot of consistency you will be able to get her on track. Hope you find something that works, W.
My ideas are largely unconventional. Being a very happy cosleeper I would say let her go to bed with you. By night shift, do you mean your husband works overnight? If so, then it really wouldn't be such a problem.
When my kids are young and I also mean my daycare kids, my goal is to get enough sleep. Beyond that, I am not at all concerned with actual bedtimes. What I mean is this.. If I am wide awake and the child isn't sleepy and will fight sleep, then I let the child stay awake. They go through so many phases in their lives and sometimes they just want to be awake because they are so afraid they will miss something. At this age they are so curious. But if I am really tired I will enforce the bedtime but the rest of the house will be quiet too and dark. I just don't believe a child should be forced to sleep if they know I'm up running around.
My husband is a night owl and I'm not. So often I end up taking an early catnap. The younger children will fall asleep when I do. But if we have some older children in the house he will allow them to stay upstairs with him and do art projects or watch tv until he is tired. I'll set up the beds in advance so that all he has to do is bring them back down when HE is ready.
Our kids know that they have to sleep when we sleep. It works for us to remain flexible and yet the kids don't mind the occasional early night when we just need to turn in early. I don't know if any of this will help you at all. Take what you can use.
Suzi
Hi R.,
There might be a chance that she is having nightmares....this is about the time in where that happens, my little one sleeps through the nigt but when nightmares happen, it is good to confort her, she is scared! She won't go back to sleep if she is afraid unless she end up being exhausted but probably will wake up again crying, she needs conforting and if you have to let her sleep with you when that happens it will help her know that you are there for her when she needs you. She will soon go back to normal if you give her confort.
Please don't let her cry for that long....she is too young and she can't go through a scary time by herself :(
Mine sleeps in her bed in her bedroom but if she gets scared she knows that she can come to us. Even my 8 yers old does it every now and then when she has bad dreams. Knowing that you help them fast helps them to relax and sleep better.
Good luck!:)
Mariana Abadie
www.MyKidsFirst.com
I know it is difficult at this time, but children know the games now. If she is dry(diaper), feed, and physically fine. You need to be STRONG to routine. She will try to persuade you. I remember myself crying.....because my husband insisted for me not to pick her up and let her cry. I thank him now!! Because she is 5yrs old, and she puts herself to bed. If your routine has changed it will effect her. If you are working now...she may be effected by you leaving. Once she gets use to your routine...she will change. Be strong....even thou it is hard now, it will pay off in the future.
i SON WHO IS 11MONTHES IS DOING THE SAME HE TO HAS SLEEP SOUNDLY IN HIS CRIB SCINCE 3MONTHES AND BOY DO I KNOW ABOUT COLD EXTRA HE HAS IT ALL JUST LIKE YOUR BABY.
i WILL NOT HOLD HIM OR ALLOW TO SLEEP WITH I JUST PUT HIM IN HIS CRIB AND LET HIM CRY TO SLEEPhE HAS A NIGHT LIGHT AND I TRUN ON THE RAID OR PLAY A CDC WITH SOFT MUSICE HE LIKE COUNTY THE MOST.
ADON IS HIS NAME GAVE HIM A BATH BEFOR BED TIME HE IS TAKING ZYRTEC AND BRITHING TRETMENT i HAS TAKEN SO MUCH MED THAT I TRULY BELIFE THATS WHEN IT ALL STARTED THE CRYING AND NOT WANTING TO BE IN HIS CRIB.bUT HE STILL IN IT AND FALLS A SLEEP AT SOME POINT.
I WISH I HAD KEEPED ON BREASTFEED HIM MAYBE IT WOULD HAVE HELP HIM FROM GETTING.SO I SEE WHERE YOUR COMING FROM IF YOU GET SOME GOOD ADIVES PLEASE PASS IT LONG TO ME
MY ADVISE TO WIN HER OFF BOTTLE START TIPPY AND NO BOTTLE IN BED.THATS WHAT IAM DOING RIGHT NOW WITH MY SON.SO I WILL LET YOU HOW IT HELPS AND TRUNS OUT.AND MOST OF ALL PRAY.
GOD BLESS YOU
E. POORE MOTHER OF TWO VERY LITTLE BOY 3 AND 11MOS. HUSBAND IN IRAQ UNTALE MARCH 2008.
PS HOW DO YOU US THIS TO ASK QUISTIONS?
