Sudden Picky Eater Age 4 - Ball,LA

I've got a strong-willed kid too, and mealtimes can definitely turn into a power struggle if you allow it.

If my daughter decides she doesn't like what is for dinner, she does not have to eat - period. But I am not getting her something else. My job is to put food in front of her and give her the opportunity to consume it. Her job is eat what she is given, as much as she feels like. If she starts with any bad behavior (whining, complaining, etc. and this would include pretending to gag, like your son is doing), she is sent to her room. If she decides to do a decent job on her dinner with no whining or complaining, she may then get dessert. The onus is on her - I just keep reminding her of the rules, let her know there is no negotiating, and if she can't be pleasant at the table, up to her room she goes.

A few missed meals and a few nights of going to bed hungry never hurt anyone.

Is he underweight, unhealthy?
If not, then don't worry about it.
As kids grow their appetites, needs and tastes change.
Mealtimes should be pleasant, not a chore that you HAVE to get through.
Make dinner and if he likes it, great. If not, that's okay too. He can either not eat or make HIMSELF something else (you do NOT want to get into the habit of making him special meals.)
When mine were that young they were able to pour themselves a bowl of cereal (healthy cereal, obviously) make a peanut butter sandwich, grab a cheese stick, a piece of fruit, etc. you get the idea.
It's just dinner, relax and enjoy each other :)

Ah, your son is testing his limits with you. My son started doing that as well when he turned 4. Suddenly foods he had always loved eating, he didn't want to touch. This is a totally normal, yet not so pleasant sign that his mind is developing. What's next? He will try whining and finally complaining to push your buttons even farther. How to stop those unpleasantries from coming from his mouth. ( I highly recommend reading the book: The secret of Parenting: How to be in charge of today's kids - from Toddlers to Preteens - without threats or punishment by Anthony E. Wolf. It is a very easy, quick, and often funny read and it has literally stopped me falling into the power struggle battles. ) If your son starts to whine or pretend to gag, the best thing you can do is ignore this behavior when he is doing it. Don't give it any attention. Of course if he is actually gagging, help him. Otherwise ignore it. It will stop on its own given no response. At another time, tell your son that whining and pretending to gag are responses that will get him no where. If he complains, listen. Some complaints warrant our attention. An example, "Mom, my soup is too hot." He may have burnt his mouth and needs to have some water. If his complaints are more like, "I don't like this anymore. I don't want to eat that." You should tell him short and sweet, your expectation and the consequence. If he is angry about it you could add in that you acknowlege his feelings, but keep it short. First complaint- you respond, "I'm sorry you don't like tonight's dinner. You can choose to eat it, or leave it. I am not making something else." You have given him total control of what comes next without relinquishing to his demands. Second complaint- "Like I said, it is your choice to eat or not." Third time- ignore. Let it go. If he keeps complaining, change the topic. If you keep that pattern every time, it will stop. He will either eat or not. A few nights not eating dinner, will fix the problem. Absolutely save yourself from falling into such parent traps as bargaining and giving bribes. If he is really hungry, he will eat. If he really likes the meal, you will know later. Right now this is his way of trying to gain more power. Good luck and take back your pleasant mealtimes! By the way, my son likes most of those foods he complained about and has started eating them again. It really only does take a few nights of going to bed stubbornly hungry.

When he gets hungry, he WILL eat...strong willed kidz are just that, in a war of the wills you have to win sometimes...try to get him to drink some pedialyte type things in the interim...BUT...remember that he WILL eat when he gets hungry enough, ignore the dramatics, don't play into the drama game, put the food in front of him, talk to your other family members @ the table, don't allow him to leave the table, when everyone else is finished, excuse him from the table, remove his plate & go about your business just as if he had cleaned his plate & DON'T give him anything else for in-between snacks...betcha' he will change his tune soon enough!

Good Luck!

ditto mamazita and dvmmom.