Stupid Situation Now I Am Embarrassed

I absolutely agree that you should tell her that you heard you've been mispronouncing her name and say "why did you never correct me?" She will absolutely be embarrassed, herself.

actually, she's wrong for not correcting you right from the get-go, so she should be the one embarrassed, not you. I would either just start calling her by the right name or just keep calling her by the wrong name since she clearly doesn't care since she never corrected you to begin with. LOL! Maybe everyone else will switch to the wrong name too. HA! Ok, just kidding, but I wouldn't worry about it too much, she looks like the jerk, not you.

I wouldn't cross her off. Just confront this issue that you know you haven't gotten her name right.
People have flubbed my name a million times and I don't get offended by it. Yes, I have said something like "I don't know how something so simple can be so misconstrued" but being used to it, I never made fun of anyone or got offended by the situation.
Some of the pronunciations are actually pretty funny. I have a sense of humor.
Just be honest and say that you're mortified if you've been saying her name incorrectly all this time. It wasn't deliberate.
I don't see a need to make a big deal and/or cross her off the list of people you can trust.
I don't see why it needs to go that far.

Just my opinion.

I think you should tell her that you overheard her telling someone else that you have been misprounouncing her name all this time, and apologize, and say, gee i wish you had corrected me. This should embarass HER and then she'll know what its like. If it mattered to her then she should have corrected you a long time ago, its just childish to let it go for so long and immature for her to make fun of you, when there was an easy solution to avoid all this embarassment.

I'd say something too like "I overheard you telling x, y and z that I've been mispronouncing your name. I'm so sorry! I'm sure you know I wasn't intentionally doing it. I wish you'd said something to me directly." and I'd stress the intentionally. ie: she intentionally made fun of you. I'd be sweet and then not consider her much of a friend though of course dont hurt your daughter's friendship.

She may just be used to it being mispronounced. I have this stupid last name (until I get married in 12 days! Can't WAIT to change it!!) that has been mispronounced for as long as I can remember... I gave up on correcting people. Someone would say 'Miss...BLAHBLAHBLAH, wait, is that right?' and I'd say Yeah, sure... in my head I'm laughing, thinking 'not even close!'... I just stopped caring ;)

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I would say, "I wanted to apologize for saying your name wrong all of this time as I overheard you tell someone how I've been pronouncing it and that it's incorrect." Then make her feel like a jerk.

I am a little hard of hearing. Sometimes I mispronounce a name because I just didn't hear it right.

I'm always grateful when I make that mistake and it doesn't get held against me.

I suspect, if she has a difficult name to pronounce, she is used to it and was simply making light of the mispronouncement and happened to use the way you say it as an example. People have been using the mispronouncement of words or names as humor for years and years. Red Skelton used it for humor when my parents were kids.

I wouldn't worry about it. If it bothers you enough, ask her how to pronounce it again or ask someone else how to pronounce it. Then move on. There are too many serious things to be concerned about and if she really cared she would have told you.

Good luck to you and yours.

If she has an unusual name, she should be used to people pronouncing it incorrectly. Shame on her for talking about you.

I get pretty fired up when I'm pissed....i may have just walked over and said something inappropriate. But going forward....i think you should at least say "i wish you had told me all these years i was saying your name wrong".

Oh, and please don't be embarrassed. Seriously, she needs to grow up.

Use Jill T's advice! Hopefully the other mom will have the grace to be ashamed of how she made fun of you.

It's not your fault that she is too insecure to correct the pronounciation of her own name! And then to make fun of you to others? Pity her low self esteem.

Next time you see her, say "I wanted to apologize: you have a beautiful but unusual name, and when I overheard you correcting another person's mispronunciation, I realized that I had mispronounced it, for the past 2 years! I'm dreadfully sorry!" and say it with a sincere smile.

I'll bet money that she'll feel guilty/foolish for having made fun of you behind your back. Plus, she'll probably realize that you know she's done that, and think twice (hopefully) about doing it again.

I would approach her and say I heard from some people we mutually know that I keep mispronouncing your name...I have to say I am sor sorry and want to be sure I get it right...Please tell me again etc.......

She should have taken the higher road and correct you instead of saying things behind your back. Lack of maturity.

Shame on her for making fun of you. I sure hope she was doing it in a fun way and not in a nasty way. If she was being nasty, I would keep calling her by the wrong name on purpose!

I have a very difficult last name to pronounce and spell, but I would never make fun of someone behind their back for being unable to pronounce it. Childish.

Tell her you were told by some friends you have been mispronouncing her name. Oops. Why didn't you tell me? Turn the tables.

Women are so catty sometimes. Sad but true.

Out of curiosity - what is her name?

I don't know if this the 'best' or 'right' way to handle this (I'm sure it probably isn't), but here's what I'd do.

I would politely/humorously ask her why on earth she let you mispronounce her name all this time? I would likely go to the extent of telling her that I heard her 'mentioning' your mispronounciation of her name to some other ladies, and you can't help but wonder why she didn't say something all this time?

I wouldn't let her make me feel stupid. Put the ball back in her court.

I'm awful, but I might even be sure to do this around some of the other ladies, so they, too, wonder why she didn't say anything to you...

I agree with the others that you should say, "I overheard that I am mispronouncing your last name... I am so sorry!" and take the high road. The fact of the matter is that YOU OVERHEARD something. It may or may not have been eavesdropping... not saying it was. At mom groups there are usually several conversations going on at once and you hear snippets here and there whether you are trying to tune them out or not.... but sounds like that is all it was... a snippet.
Maybe you heard the words but got the context totally wrong! Maybe another mom mispronounced her name and she was trying to make her see that it was okay, that everyone does it and she doesn't mind it a bit! You know... so & so says __ all the time and I don't correct her! sort of thing...
?
Just tell her that you heard that it is different than what you have been pronouncing, and want to get it right, would she mind telling you again the correct pronunciation. And don't be mad!

Don't be mad! I have one of those names everyone gets wrong . I say the name the right way but give up when people keep getting it wrong. I know who they mean and take it with a grain of salt anymore. You weren't aiming to be rude. I had a parent whose daughter was a friend of my daughters do this and one day she realized because someone called me the right name in front of her and she was mortified and I told her not to worry it happens all the time. Maybe that was the tone of her conversation you over heard and she was just pointing out that you mess it up too. Next time you see her chat normally and tell her you just realized you'd been butchering her name for years and chuckle about what a dolt you feel like. You'll both laugh then it will be a thing of the past.

S.,

Don't worry another minute about it. Anyone who has time to make fun of someone else doesn't have a place in your life for you to worry about them. You corrected yourself so just say it correctly from now on and don't trust this one....she sounds mean!

M

Im so naive, I JUST learned last year that just because your dealing with adult women, doesnt mean a thing. Man was I sheltered by normal women for too long. Lots of them are catty and ridiculous. Go ahead and cross her off. :)

Don't be embarrassed by someone else's poor behavior and etiquette.

I would just let her know that you heard what she said and would do herself well by correcting people if they pronounce her name wrong...making fun of people because they didn't pronounce your name wrong is just rude.

or you could be mean & go the other way: in the same group of women, tell your side of the story! & just laugh about how she's made fun of you for 2 years......it will definitely leave a different impression for them!

j/k....or am I?!!

I wouldn't cross her off as someone to trust... I would bet she was just trying to be polite by not constantly trying to correct you. She's probably had a lifetime of correcting people.

This is a lesson for parents who want to use kree8tiv spellings for their childrens names. :-)

But now you'll never forget how to pronounce her name. And perhaps you can hint to her subtly that you overheard her comments about you. The thing is, though... have you ever said something that upset you about someone to someone else? That doesn't make you untrustworthy. It just means you chose not to say it to their face and not make waves with them.

I have a name that is easily misspronounced or mistaken for another that looks a lot the same. I tell people my name and they sometimes get it right, or they say it back to me wrong.. thats what makes me laugh. If you say "hi, my name is Bill", why do they say, "well nice to meet you Bob." I have actually been told Im saying or spelling it wrong! Well, no, phonically, Im right, but I dont argue about it. I just let it go. It isnt that big a thing to me what they call me or how they pronounce it. I just like that they call me something. I have, in the course of conversation, mentioned how others say my name wrong, and I have laughed at the variety of different ways it comes out. Maybe this other woman was just relaying the different ways people say her name and didnt mean any disrespect or meaness toward you. I guess you could go to her and say I think Ive been saying your name wrong all this time and want to make it right,,And ask her to pronounce it again. I bet she will laugh and tell you how someone else says it and make you laugh too. Shes got to be used to it by now. Remember, with the high number of people from other countries coming to America, we all have the trouble of pronouncing unusual and odd sounding names. It cant hurt to ask again.

You are a sensitive and gracious lady and she has no sense of humour at all. Laughing for something like this is just juvenile. Don't waste your time thinking one more minute of it, the joke she is making (or made) is stupid, not that funny, and gets old easily. I bet the other women chuckled just not to embarass her. Ahhh, the mother of the imbeciles is ALWAYS pregnant.

How rude.
She, ALL this time, COULD HAVE nicely corrected you.
Problem solved.
Instead, she 'chose' to ridicule you for it. For TWO years!
Geez.

My daughter has a friend, who's Mom has an unusual name. I simply asked her HOW to pronounce it correctly. She told me. Problem solved.
I said her name several times, while talking to her, and asked her if I was getting it right. Then when I did, we BOTH cheered!

That other Mom, could have simply told you how to pronounce her name.
She has an unusual name.... MANY people for MANY years, have probably gotten her name wrong to, when pronouncing it.
Why ridicule someone for that?

I would tell the Mom, "Hey Sally, apparently I've been pronouncing your name wrong all this time! I heard you correct the other ladies & how I was not pronouncing it correctly. How funny! I wish you explained the first time. Then I would have known too!"'

People mispronounce my first name all the time...if it's someone I know I'm going to be around a lot for have futher communication it is my responsibility to make sure they know the proper way to say it...

If she doesn't like how you say she should say "I'm sorry I should have mentioned this before but the correct way to pronounce my name is..."

And I am quit forgetful of names...I have asked multiple times someone what their name is...but never ridiculed someone for not saying my correctly. One of the moms in my kids class has been around for almost two years...for the life of me until six months ago I could never remember her first name....Finally I said "Mrs.....instert last name, I know I should know this but what is your first name again?"

You should not be embarrassed! That woman should be embarrassed.
I would purposely keep saying wrong from now on ;-)
j/k
I would let it go. Don't even give it another thought.