Stubburn Preschooler Sorry Its Long

I don't know the answer to how to make him take his meds, but I would just encourage you to take a step back from the "he's supposed to do what I tell him to" stance. Like you said, he's a great kid, who happens to have some "issues" with these couple of things. It's just the way he is, please don't punish him for it. In other words, please try to be as gentle as possible. Please let him pick out a toy, or even treat him to something he likes after the dentist's visit. Perhaps tell him ahead of time that "after the dentist, you will get to do [insert favorite thing here]." Don't tie it to his behavior. If he is an otherwise good kid, he is not doing this to spite you. He really has some problems with others touching him and with meds. We all have our hangups. I am afraid of heights, for example. If a bigger person forced me to climb up on some high thing, and subjected me to the fear that I would then feel, then it would be nice if they didn't think I was trying to be uncooperative when I resisted. And it would feel nice if they acknowledged that what I went through was tough on me, and if they did something nice for me to counterbalance the ____@____.com they just put me through. So please go easy on the little guy.

I don't really have an answer for the dentist situation - I'm sorry. I feel bad for you - that must be extremely frustrating!! I do have a suggestion about the medicine that my pediatrician told me about. Put the medicine in a medicine cup and have your son use a straw - have him start drinking the medicine while you're standing there with a can of soda. When he starts drinking the medicine through the straw then start pouring some soda in the cup. Yes, the medicine and soda mix but hopefully, he will like the taste of the soda more than the medicine! Plus, using a straw helps because he may not taste it as much. It worked wonders for us - my son was VERY happy to cooperate when he knew he would get soda out of the deal! I would give him a little cup of soda to finish and that was it (maybe 2 or 3 ounces tops!). I don't usually give my son soda but it worked!! Good luck!

Well, some children just have a willful personality. I work with kids and see it all the time. It is not necessarily abnormal.

Positive reinforcement -- give him a reason to want to brush his teeth. A sticker, a nickel that he can put in his bank and "buy" stuff after, a promise to read a book at bedtime, whatever, that is what will usually work with brushing teeth and those small home duties that need to get done.

As for the dentist, meds, etc. Kids are either cooperative, or they are not, and usually there is not much that will get them to change in that regard until they are more mature.

Try a pediatric dentist. There really is a huge difference. I happen to have a friend who is a Pediatric Dentist. I really wouldn't have thought to take my kids to a Peds Dentist if it wasn't for her. I am so glad I did, as my girls LOVE the dentist. Its all fun. They will be very slow and gentle with your son and take it at his pace. I really would check into it
and at least give them a call to see what they say.

Have you tried bringing him to a pediatric dental office rather than just a regular dentist? I think they're better trained at handling young kids, and if he does end up having to have dental anesthesia they'll know what to do to help calm him down. My son has no stranger anxiety yet wouldn't open his mouth at the dental office until close to age 4. He also has screams and yells at the pediatricians office because he hates being checked out, he rarely goes and isn't used to it. It's normal and your son will outgrow it. What works for my son is prepping him in advance about where he is going...but I never tell him any details that might make him nervous, like telling him he may get a shot for example. I also tell him that if he's good, we'll go to the park after or something fun that he likes.

Is the medicine flavored? My kids love medicine because of the way it tastes. I don't think hiding it in his food is a big deal if he refuses to take it, just as long as he gets it. I think he'll outgrow that too. Goodluck, I think going to the dentist really can be stressful even for adults, and he's only 4 so don't worry!

My daughter use to scream from the moment we walked into the office until we got back in the car. Our doctor would send us for x-ays to check her lungs because she screamed and cried so badly...

I started explaining it to her a week before time to go. I would just mention it. Same thing the next day. As the appt. got closer I would give her more details. Basic and simple like "then the doctor will listen to your heart."

Last time we went to the doctor he actually commented about how good she was. It took many trips but finally it is less painful for both of us.

I am not sure this will work with your little one but... Good luck!

I want to wish you the best of luck. I have to say - and I am not in any way exaggerating - my son is the most stubborn and controlling (tries to be) child I have ever met........that being said, my husband took him for his first dentist appointment two years ago. The dentist didn't even get to really look at or clean the teeth.....we pretty much paid a copay for nothing. I DREADED trying it again (he's now 5) - I had SUCH anxiety about it.....well, my company had changed dental insurance and a pediatric dental practice was an option. We went there - my son went in with the hygentist BY HIMSELF, saw the dentist and came out so proud of himself.
I hope you have the same experience. I'm not sure what else to tell you but if you need an understanding friend to 'talk' to let me know!!!

First of all is this a pediatric dentist? If not find one. They are used to kids like that and know better how to deal with them. The first few times my youngest went he had to sit me and be held down. I know when my youngest was three and needed caps they gave him a twilight sidation I think is what they called it. They did give him something oraly first while he was with me before they took him back. yes these teeth will fall out but they will cause him lots of pain before they fall out if they are already bad. Unfortunalty some kids just have bad teeth gens even if you brush all the time. My youngest brushes more than my oldest and he's had more work done but they have different bio fathers. so different genes. Don't wait till they are really bad please they can make his behavior bad when they start hurting. My son acted out like crazy and we didn't know why. We discovered he was in lots of pain.

Good luck with what ever you decide and God Bless!