Stress Relief for Moms?

Updated on January 31, 2011
J.S. asks from Gilbert, AZ
16 answers

Hi Moms! What do you do for stress relief on those days where everything catches up to you? The kids are fighting, the baby is screaming, the house is a disaster, dinner has to be made, laundry has to be done and to make matters worse, your husband is out of town so you have no help in the evening. You just feel like standing there and crying and screaming along with everyone else. On most days I feel somewhat in control like I can handle this. But there are days like today where I just want a vacation from everything, but I can't. What do you do when you feel like that? Or better yet, what do you do on a regular basis to stay sane? Thanks for your help in advance!

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much moms! Those are some great ideas. I will try them out for sure.:)

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I.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Get a boxing skipping rope... they are light and you really have to jump fast! My DH got one and I've secretly been using it. 5 mins and my heartrate is soaring and those endorphins kick in!

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

We do something very easy for dinner, like leftovers or scrambled eggs. Then, I tuck the kids in bed early and relax by ironing and watching a movie. You could pop in the laundry now, and just move it along as it is ready. I find that ironing while watching a movie after the kids are in bed is a real stress reliever for me. I feel like I am accomplishing something important, and enjoy the relaxing movie at the same time. We have netflix, so that helps. My husband travels a lot, so I understand that issue as well. Or, you can spend some time after they have gone to bed mopping the floors and doing a general tidy up. That always helps me to breathe a bit easier. Hang in there!!

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Day-to-day... exercise for at least 20 minutes, take a long shower at night (so I'm not rushed), glass of wine, trashy tv (RH of any city will do)

Really bad days... put myself in timeout. Seriously. We only have one right now, but when I was working in a preschool setting and the kids were wild, I would put myself in the "thinking chair". It was so strange that the kids would stop and ask why I was sitting there. I would say something like "I was finding myself very frustrated and angry, so I'm taking a moment to collect myself before I start yelling". It usually worked, but not always.

I have friends who will make sure the kids are safe and then take 10 minutes to themselves in the bathroom for the same reason.

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B.B.

answers from Chicago on

drink. haha just kidding!

I would take one thing at a time!! You have your hands full, just remind yourself that you are only one person and there are only so many waking hours in the day.

I would make sure everyone is fed and clean and let the rest sit! Or if you can call a friend or family member to come help you by sitting with the kids that would be helpful too.

Best wishes and cheers to a messy house and a happy family :)

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Vodka! (I live next to Bridget--LOL--J/K)

There are days when bedtime seems SO far away, but it does come eventually, so keep your eye on the prize then read, relax, have some wine after the kids are in bed!

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P.K.

answers from New York on

When I got stressed (had four little ones all 1 year apart) I would just give
up trying to accomplish anything, gather my babies (kids depending on age)
and just snuggle. It would calm all of us down. On a regular basis, just
getting out every day helped. Even now when I babysit my grandchildren
getting out does a lot for everyone.

1 mom found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Work out-it helps me tremendously-I can think more clearly, have more stamina, gets rid of the tension that builds up in my body. Other than that I get a massage. We have a bunch of these Chinese Foot Massage places nearby-It's 20 dollars for 1 hour and they start with your neck and shoulders. Basically, It's a whole body massage for 20 bucks. It's my guilty pleasure every couple of weeks.

Then I have a huge glass of wine!

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C.M.

answers from Phoenix on

What wonderful answers. I do many of these things myself. Exercise does help with your overall feeling, but in the moment, my kids have seen me take a time out. Sometimes I feel like those Charlie Brown characters where you can see the cloud over their head, so I sit the kids down and disappear for five minutes where I pull myself together. I also love, after the kids go to bed or in a rare quiet moment during the day, a cup of hot tea and a book. It doesn't have to even be a good book, just someone else's life, someone else's problems for even only 5 minutes if that's how long I can keep my eyes open. You are not alone!

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

I turn on the music loud-ish (my music, sometimes, or the kids music). If i'm desperate, I'll turn on the TV for 20-30 of cartoons or kid-safe TV.

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

Hey, that was my night last night. Only difference is daddy was lying on the couch watching TV--again. I bought a punching bag with a gift card I got for Christmas. Exercise is a great way to get rid of the stress but trying to find 30 minutes to myself is just shy of impossible. But 5 minutes with the bag....oh joy. Honestly this is the best "investment" I made for just me. It is really just a blown up bag on a stick kind of thing but it really lets you give it a go. I could not believe how good I felt after using it the first time.
And I also decided a long time ago that I was only going to do what I could and forget the rest because no matter what, I really am NOT super woman.

C.S.

answers from Houston on

I just try to take deep breath and think of things in perspective. Life happens- the house is going to get messy, the kids are going to fight- it's all normal and when I just expect it all then I'm not as overwhelmed by it- I know it's coming- it's just life. Sometimes when I feel a little out of control- I hug my babies and remind myself that if my life was not a little crazy it would probably mean that I didn't have kids. This makes me feel blessed to have my messy house, screaming kids, and piles of laundry. When the husband is out of town or even when he isn't just have a schedule set - one for before the kids are in bed and one for after and mentally review it. Okay- 6pm dinner, 6:30-bathtime, 7:00 eveining episode of Little Bear for the kids- I'll put laundry in and pick up clutter during this 30 minutes, 7:30 book and bedtime, 8:00 landry and a little more picking up, clean the kitchen and other chores- 9pm-wine at nine for mommy and TV or book time- it helps me to run over the scheudule out loud for myself and the kids to keep things on track and to remind myself that there is an end in sight.

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C.C.

answers from Flagstaff on

For me, two things. First, forget taking the time to make dinner and go out! Go to McDonalds where you can just let the kids play on the playplace and get out all their energy while you relax and collect yourself. Two, go for a walk or to the park. Both you and the kids get some exercise and those endorphins get moving. Besides, the weather is so great right now in Gilbert! (Lucky you!) Get out there and enjoy it some. The housework can wait, but enjoying time with your kids can't, because they grow up way too fast!

B.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.
I suppose for me is realising that I am not the only Mum in the world who gets stressed. It is NORMAL to have days like this. Getting stressed is one of the many joys of motherhood.!!
I usually feel like that when I am over tired. Once I get some good sleep I feel like I can conquer the world lol, if I don't, then I am an over emotional basket case.
So try to get as much sleep as us Mamas can,go to bed straigth after the kids,especially while your hubby is away.Have a shower first thing in the morning to help you feel stronger.Book yourself a spa day as soon as hubby is back. Try to get out of the house with the kids everyday,especially into nature to decrease cabin fever.
Try to stay calm and positive,remember being stressed is not going to make the kids disappear lol or the house clean so don't let yourself get stuck in the negative. Have a good sleep and hope tomorrow will be a better day.
B.

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G.D.

answers from Flagstaff on

hot tub soak and yoga when kids are in bed

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I just joined the YMCA and after a week I can not believe how much better I feel physically. I'm sleeping better, and less depressed about winter. Plus, I get two hours every morning to myself while my two youngest are in the daycare and my oldest is at Kindergarten. I was worried that the kids would hate the daycare, but so far they love it.

During the day, I save TV time for when I NEED it, not when my kids want to watch. I decide what they watch and when. We don't watch TV everyday, so it's a treat for them and for me. Like right now - they are watching the Cat and the Hat and I am having a break ;)

I let them watch between 30 and 60 minutes (not every day). When the kids are screaming at each other and the baby is crying and the pots are boiling over on the stove I am so GLAD I have this tool in my basket - turn on PBS or an educational video.

Also - calling a book break for the kids works well (if I'm not making dinner). They are always willing/happy to sit down and read and it's like a reset button for us.

Sometimes we just need to get out of the house too. Today we were off from Kindergarten so we all went to the zoo. It was great to be out of the house (we spend a lot of time inside this time of year in MN) and just hanging out.

Good luck!
Jessica

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M.M.

answers from Phoenix on

For me, if we can get out of the house then we are all less likely to blow a fuse. It seems like on the days when we are stuck inside all day is when we get on each others nerves and I get super frustrated. Others have mentioned tv, and I think that is totally fine to use instead of blowing up at your kids. I feel so bad after I blow up at them and then I have to go apologize, etc. So I try to prevent it and when I feel it coming I just need 30 minutes to step away from the situation and get done what I need to get done. And then we can turn off the tv and do something fun with a happy mom. Sometimes a book will work, but if the kids are going at each other, they don't want to sit by each other and they bicker during the book. I hope this helps.

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