I'm usually pretty good about handling stress. I've always had rather stressful jobs, I surived a number of years in the military, and am a pretty upbeat person. But I think I've reached my limit. My stress level at work has gone through the roof and there does not appear to be any relief lined up until the end of this year. My husband is gone until tax season is done. And things are falling apart at home. Literally. My garage doors are falling apart, I have my dryer vent stuck through a window, and things are just a huge mess. Laundry and cleaning... hah! As if! I tried to hire a cleaning person, but they did such a bad job I was no better off. I tried to hire 2 carpenters to fix the garage door and drier vent situation. But NO ONE EVER SHOWS UP. And if they do, all they want to do is stand there and talk about it. And no matter what, I can't fix the situation at this very moment so it will just continue to sit there. And I just know I'll get a house showing request becuase that ALWAYS happens when things are at their worst at the house.
Anyway, the end product is i'm sitting here at work barely able to function as the stress has me at a near stand still. I feel like I could cry at any moment. I've tried taking deep breaths. I've tried walking away from my desk to clear my mind. I'd like to walk right out the door and not come back. But that isn't an option.
What can I do as I sit here to get my grip back on reality? There has to be some coping mechanism. Help!
Thank youall who replied. I found useful tips in all your responses, and a comforting shoulder :) I do have a 'house' llist going, but think I will spend the morning creating a few more lists. And searching for more help. I did an extra fitness class tonight to help with the stress. And the hot bath I will need to alleviate my muscle pains should help too! Persevere... persevere... persevere....
go to the website Damnyouautocorrect.com.
Read it thought.. Laugh, and feel better in the morning.
My heart goes out to you. :(
Good luck
you poor thing!
Start by taking a deep breath! Really deep in through your nose and fill up all your insides. Hold it to a count of 5 and slowly release it through your mouth.
Now, start asking around for a good handyman. Get a name from someone you trust. Turn it all over to this nice man (or woman). Think positive, and don't worry if it can't get done until next week. Remind yourself it WILL get done and stressing about it won't make it happen faster.
Okay? Another deep breath. Plan to go home tonight and curl up with a good book. Everything else can wait.
p.s. ~ herbal stress tablets can help!
I'm so sorry you are going through this but it will get better.
It's always harder before it gets easier.
Take a deep breath (I know you said that doesn't work but try it right now)
then let it out slowly then make a list of the things you need to take care
of.
-Make a list of what you have to get done.
-When things get too much at work, take a 10 min break & walk around the building. If weather does not permit, go to the quietest place in your
building away from everyone.
-Know that all things come to an end, esp negative things.
-See if you can fix the dryer vent yourself by pulling the dryer a little forward carefully, unhook the big black accordian hose then take a leaf
blower & blow the lint through that hole out the back of your house. If that
doesn't work or you can't do it, call another person to come out & ask them to do that.
-Call another carpenter to come out for the garage door. Be sure to get a
firm commitment from them. Let them know the last person did not
show up. Let them know up front that you need them to fix it when they come out as the last repairman didn't do anything. Do your best to make the time convenient to YOU but know it doesn't always work out that way.
-try to exercise to release stress (even if it's only going for a fast walk
around your neighborhood or an exercise video).
-laugh as often as possible. Turn on the comedy channel.
-Sometimes a good cry will help release the stress but then you must take action. While I'm not suggesting you cry at your desk at work, you can always have a good cry at home or in your car, fix your makeup and come back in.
-Know that things always get better
-Hire another cleaning person (do it yourself only if you can't afford it)
-You don't want to leave your place of employment as you need it.
For your coping mechanism, try going for a walk, call a good friend for a short chat, exercise, know that no hard time lasts forever, be confident that you will sell your house. Hang in there.
Updated
I'm so sorry you are going through this but it will get better.
It's always harder before it gets easier.
Take a deep breath (I know you said that doesn't work but try it right now)
then let it out slowly then make a list of the things you need to take care
of.
-Make a list of what you have to get done.
-When things get too much at work, take a 10 min break & walk around the building. If weather does not permit, go to the quietest place in your
building away from everyone.
-Know that all things come to an end, esp negative things.
-See if you can fix the dryer vent yourself by pulling the dryer a little forward carefully, unhook the big black accordian hose then take a leaf
blower & blow the lint through that hole out the back of your house. If that
doesn't work or you can't do it, call another person to come out & ask them to do that.
-Call another carpenter to come out for the garage door. Be sure to get a
firm commitment from them. Let them know the last person did not
show up. Let them know up front that you need them to fix it when they come out as the last repairman didn't do anything. Do your best to make the time convenient to YOU but know it doesn't always work out that way.
-try to exercise to release stress (even if it's only going for a fast walk
around your neighborhood or an exercise video).
-laugh as often as possible. Turn on the comedy channel.
-Sometimes a good cry will help release the stress but then you must take action. While I'm not suggesting you cry at your desk at work, you can always have a good cry at home or in your car, fix your makeup and come back in.
-Know that things always get better
-Hire another cleaning person (do it yourself only if you can't afford it)
-You don't want to leave your place of employment as you need it.
For your coping mechanism, try going for a walk, call a good friend for a short chat, exercise, know that no hard time lasts forever, be confident that you will sell your house. Hang in there.
It's amazingly difficult to get things fixed etc! Let yourself cry... It often really helps me. Major stress releaser. Then, make a list and a plan of attack. I'm not sure how old your kids are but either enlist them to help or let them watch TV for once while you get things done. And are you sure a reputable cleaning service like Merry Maids wouldn't be helpful? Or a word of mouth reference? I've had good luck with cleaning people so don't give up... Do you have a local mother's group/chat board who could give you a reference? Would taking a sick day from work help or make things worse? I know someone who is using Sitter city a lot. Hire someone this weekend and get stuff done? Dryer vent out the window likely can wait... You're in CO so maybe need your garage but if you can just leave the cars outside, do that and let the doors be broken. Remember it will all get better. Good luck!
Well I am awful at handling stress, but I think I can help! I know for me, I can only handle one problem at a time, and when things pile up around me, I feel like you describe- with the stress keeping me at a stand-still. I just freeze and can't seem to do anything. What I've learned is what others suggest- lists.
I write down the things that are wrong, this at least gets them out of my swirling head and onto something else. Then I prioritize what needs to be handled asap and what is lower on the priority list. I usually feel better just doing that, but then adding steps or people to call under each item really helps.
It sounds like you don't have a chronic stress problem, but and acute one. And it comes up when too many things are wrong at once. Try to sort them out on paper and I'm hoping you will feel better just as a result of that. With your job and experience, I have no doubt that the rest will fall into place once you get a grip on everything. Hope it all gets fixed rapidly!
House showing request? Are you in the middle of moving? I am a SAHM and we are relocating out of state, our house on the market. I NEVER imagined it would be so stressful, and I don't have all the other things going on that you do. Hang in there!
Take a day off of work, send the kids to friends' houses or grandma's, make a list of priorities and start working on it. Have a goal to finish one item per day, or every couple of days, depending how big each item is. Slow and steady wins the race.
Yikes, that IS stressful! I can see how you'd be losing it.
When I'm stressed out, I become a list maker. And that means EVERYTHING goes on a list, even minor stuff. That way, as you check off the items, it mentally helps you see that stuff IS getting done.
Get those house items fixed asap - they are stressing you out more than you realize. Don't call carpenters for your garage door, call a garage door company. Hire a handyman to fix your dryer vent. If you have any finish carpentry or need cabinets installed, THEN call a carpenter, but for your jobs, they're probably not the best choice.
Put things on your list like "load dishwasher" and "make bed", so that you have things you can check off. Small successes!
And when you're at the point where you *truly* cannot do anything at that particular moment, simply stop thinking about it. I know, easier said than done. Put those stressful thoughts in a box inside your head and tell yourself "I know they're there and I'll address them in a couple of hours, but right now, I'm going to get a cup of coffee and enjoy that." Then close that mental box for a short while. It's super difficult to let go of that kind of stuff, but you CAN train your brain to do that.
You CAN handle this. You're equipped to do this. You've got the intelligence and motivation to get yourself through this. And everything is temporary. Is this the toughest thing you've ever been through? Everything you've done until now has been to prepare you for this. Hang in there.
Situational stress is different than long term, low grade stress. I could take care of a code at the hospital, no problem but paying bills, doing paperwork, dealing with chronic poor service people is a joy killer!
Allow yourself time off before you explode! Be good to yourself, it will all be there tomorrow. No fairy is going sneak in to do it for you!
