Stories of Good Dads

I think this is incredibly sweet. He sounds like a great dad already! I've noticed recently how amazing it is when daddies play with their kids. It is sooooo different than the way mommies play and serioulsy, I freak out when my hubby does some of the stuff (tossing in the air, rough-housing, etc.) he does but both my daughter and son love it and love him to death! So, in the end, I know that daddies are so important in just how to relate to kids and love them differently.

My husband just took my son fishing yesterday. They don't go places often, but as long as he is showing affection and concern for my son, my son knows it. Every night they brush their teeth together and read books. Just these simple things have a positive effect. also, my husband knows how to discipline without being mean about it. I find that a great quality too. Just being there for my son is important. They play board games together, build things, and right now they are doing a counting game. My son is three and loves his dad. :)

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My husband's parents were divorced when he was 11. His dad wasn't around much before that.
My husband spends time with the kids. He was the DiveMaster when my daugher got her Dive certificate last year. He goes on every Cub Scout campout he can or is around for. He hasn't missed a father/daughter dance yet for girl souts. He is a tinkerer and has taught all 4 how to use every tool in his workshop.
He makes it his priority to be there for the kids. He tries to go to every concert/game/function they are involved in.
He is a great father and loves the kids absolutely unconditionally. That is what you tell your husband. Love goes a long way.
If he is aware of what he had to grow up with he will be a wonderful dad to all your children.

The odds are not agaisnt him, just the fact that he worries about being a good dad puts him ahead of a lot of men out there. His heart is in the right place and to me this is can only lead to him being a great father to your children.
Tell him that even when he has to discipline, he is still being a good father, sometimes we feel guilty because we cannot give everything they want to our children but it's actually our job to put limits and shower them with love and patience.

I have found that both of my daughters just love to be around us and play, of course hubby is more physical. he will carry them around as if he was a horse (lol) or throw them in the air (carefully) and they will laugh to tears. He cooks with the oldest and she loves that, he taught her to make pasta, pancakes and cake from scratch not from a box and she loves putting together all the ingredients and measuring. they collect bugs and observe them and then let them go, I could go on but just to let you know that they prefer spending time with us than anything else.

Blessings to your family!

Love it. Love dads who wonder what it takes to be a good dad. Because to some extent it is a skill that the best dads work on perfecting (sometimes making missteps) all their lives. Below is an excerpt that I posted to my blog last week. My husband is a volunteer coach for our oldest's baseball team. It is a hard job, not one that all dads can do but my husband loves it and I get teary sometimes watching him from the side lines:
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Is it wrong to routinely brag on your husband? He rarely reads the blog so he’s not gonna care. And really, if I think about it, by bragging about him I am really just bragging about what a smart woman I am for finding him.

After the baseball game last night (K had a triple and a couple phenomenal jump-out-of-the-squat moves on pop flies), Greg was telling G’s dad how much he has improved and how he has really hit his stride at bat. And the dad, grinning over the words for his son, said, “It’s all you.” And when Greg tried to deny it, the dad said the parents on the opposing team were talking about what a great coach he was and that they wished their kids were on his team.

Greg really digs being able to pass on his love of baseball to these boys. The fact that he is able to get them to improve their actual skills is just icing to him. It is a rare kids' coach these days that puts the fun first.

It is such a great point in your husband's favor that he KNOWS he didn't have a good role model growing up and WANTS to be the best father he can be!!! I think a lot of it will come naturally as he continues to fall in love with his son. My suggestion would be to look for someone that he knows that models that type of Father that he think he wants to be...and talk to him about it. This would probably be someone with older children, since he wants to know that they have the experience and wisdom to be able to share with him and give advice.
The biggest thing is just to love your children and be willing to spend time with them....and be willing to LISTEN To them!!! One of the things that really concerns me that I read on here from other parents is how they talk so negatively about their children ( terrible two's uncontrollable...things like that). It is almost a self fulfilling prophecy when you describe your child in terms like that. ( My daughter doesn't even want us to use phrases like "he is being shy today" about their son.....) Think of your child as this sweet little lump of clay that you have been given the job of molding and shaping so that they have a fulfilling, happy life and so that THEY know how to be good parents to their children!!!
I could write ideas and suggestions forever but it is so hard to know what he is specifically worried about....and things will change daily as your little one grows.
My daughter has a fabulous website that she writes on daily, about different parenting issues and also has links to other people online that have some wonderful ideas about parenting and nurturing your children. You and your husband might both enjoy looking at what she has had to say. Her website is found at... http://codenamemama.com/ maybe you could look at her archives to see some of the things that are there, if you are interested.
Tell your husband that I think it is wonderful that he is really concerned about this issue...and that it is the first big step towards being a really fabulous Daddy to your little boy!!!
God Bless you all

Your husband is one step up from most men if he is concerned about his parenting ability already! My hubby is absolutely wonderful with our children and he's a great husband.....despite or maybe because of his parent's example! He's very patient and caring. He takes the time to listen and play with them and my girls adore him.

My husband is in a similar situation. I am always telling him that the difference is that he is trying and actively wants to be a good father.

My husband's father is lets just say , a better grandfather than he was a father.
My husband is very good with our kids, they listen to him better than they do me. He grew up a military brat and is a soldier himself and is there for them anytime they need him no matter where in the world he actually is.

What a wonderful father that he's thinking about it -
My daughter's father is an incredible father - and I think the trick is simply to be present, to communicate what he thinks and feels with you and the other adults that are or will be in her in life (teachers, etc.), and to put your daughter first. There will be times when you and he disagree, and times when one or both of you will "fail" at being the "perfect" parent - but you just have to go with it.

It may also help him to share with him a body of research that one of my developmental psychology professors once shared with me. Research shows that "super" parents do not have happier, healthier or more successful children than "pretty good" parents. So, whenever you are worried that you're not being the best possible parent, just remember that your child is going to turn out just as well even if you're just "good enough" than if you're "perfect." That has helped me enormously over the last nine years as I've parented my daughter - because it takes the enormous pressure off.

Good luck!

Well, my husband is a great man. However, in the process of having kids, he was not all convinced he could afford having children. Different things came to play in his concerns, such as being financially stable to provide for his children and the typical one: how should I raise my kids and give them the best example to avoid making the same mistakes my parents did to me and my siblings? My FIL is a tough man, very successful in the business but not as much with the family. My FIL had a rough childhood and as a result was tough with his own kids. My husband is like his mother, always full of good intentions and not wanting to get in trouble. Whenever he tells me stories about his childhood and the relationship he had with his father, I feel sad. However, knowing my FIL for more than a decade, I just can say he did his best. We, as parents are not exempt to make mistakes in the process of upbringing our children. However, I see my husband with our children and he does a marvelous job. He is engaged and committed to his children. That is what matters to me and I am sure to my kids.

He can be a great dad! My husband's dad left the picture when he was 14. I am not sure how much he was around before that. When his dad died he learned about how much he talked about his boys; it just made it worse as he and his brothers never felt it. Now, my husband is a fantastic husband and father. He is very involved and does so much with our daughter. Often he is her favorite. I don't know how much he compares himself to his father, we don't talk about it. What I do know is that he knows what kind of father he wants to be and is there for our daughter. I can't really tell you a story as it really is just a daily thing. My husband has done everything from changing diapers and giving baths to teaching our daughter to swim and play ball. Maybe the odds are stacked against your husband, but that doesn't mean he can't succeed at being a fantastic father.

I am a divorced Mom with three teenagers. I have a saintly live in boyfriend. He pays the mortgage (I could stop there and that would be enough because without it, I would not be able to keep this house myself and would have to move my kids AGAIN). He has does MANY great things for me and my kids. He shows LOVE for them everyday, he jumped right into doing all the traditional Dad stuff, which their own father shows no interest in (and didn't while we were together either). He gets up at 5 on a Saturday to take this one to wrestling, and is still up at 10pm to pick another one up from work. He laughs wth them, shows an nterest n ther school work, plays dumb boy vdeo games endlessly. My kds all have wires instead of veins, he keeps everything electronic up and running....most of the time I don't even understand the conversations he has with my boys...with my daughter who is now 13 he has an adorable repore, she is Daddy's little girl with him even though he is not her daddy.......the comfort level he has acheived with all three of them in just 2 years....frets when he cannot be here because of work, texts and ims them daily, sobs right along with me through the milestones, good and bad....with bmy oldest he's been very involved with school projects, he's in all the crazy AP/UHS classes for math/science/technology, they built a pumpkin lauch last year for physics, he helps with homework that is beyond me, when it was time to visit colleges, he skipped around RIT, RPI, MIT campuses with my son like two kids in a candy store, and on and on and on....Thank you for this post...Lately I have been SO wrapped up in my own pathetic insufficiencies that I have forgotten how MUCH worse it would be for me without him, and for my lucky kids especially. He has a daughter of his own who is a corporate attorney in midtown Manhattan, they are very close. You have reminded me today of so very MANY good things I have to be thankful for!

My husband is Muslim and grew up in a society where men can have more than one wife; his father has three wives. While all men there are often very committed to their children, more than one wife means more than one household and therefore less daily contact between fathers and their children. Despite having a very different model for parenting, my husband is a wonderful father to our kids. He is patient, even-tempered, humorous, great at convincing them to do what needs to be done without being harsh, encourages them to practice writing and math, and just the most loving person. They also listen to him much better than to me! I'd be lost without him and our kids are so lucky to have him as their father.

My FIL is not a bad father or role model, let me say, but instead is a man whose values are quite different from my own. He is a very very successful man, famous and prominent in his field, constantly appearing in the newspaper, on the radio, and even on TV, and he is a workaholic. He was rarely home for dinner, he traveled at least 1 week a month (not required for his work, but optional) as they were growing up, and now travels at least 3 weeks a month, and he likes to go into work on holidays to see which of his subordinates are dedicated enough to come in on holidays (they go up in his esteem if he finds them there!). To him, raising children on the day-to-day is a woman's job.

He raised his 3 sons to believe that their accomplishments in their careers basically defined them as successful. Success in family life if he was not climbing the ladder at work was not success at all. All 3 boys are well-educated and hard workers, and all 3 get a lot of their self-esteem and fulfillment from their work. However, my wonderful husband is also a fantastic family man, and he has his priorities in order. He is home for dinner almost every single night, because he believes that he should be actively involved in his child's upbringing. He helps me take care of our son as a partner, and although his job sometimes requires long hours, he does everything he can to spend as much time with us as possible, even working from home sometimes so that he is always home to put his son to bed. My husband does not see this as defeating his father's legacy (he thinks very highly of his father), but instead as being true to his own values. Your husband can do it, too.

I think the hubbies tend to stress a whole lot less than us as Mommies. Where I see "work to do", he sees "opportunities for play". Men are big kids at heart.

The benefit is (and this is the case for my husband) that when he gets home, he is ready for FUN-TIME.

He makes a game out of chasing each girl around the house, picking the girls up and spinning them around; I obviously can't do this with them. And they LOVE IT. He works a lot (late on weeknights and lots on weekends) but the time they have with him is precious and they love it. He lets them climb all over him like he's a jungle gym.

So really, just tell him to relax and be the *fun* that us Mommies can't be because we're always stressing out all over the place.

Oh, also, don't know of your family beliefs but my husband leads us in prayer each morning and evening.

Hi E., My husbands mom never married his dad...he was married to someone else! She did marry when he was very young and had a step dad until he died in a car accident when my husband was 17. My husband married very young and had a child at age 21. His daughter had her immunization shot at age 16 months, had a severe reaction which left her with brain damage and mentally retarded. My husbands wife at the time could not deal with a severely disabled daughter and left. My husband raised his now 14 yo daughter on his own with NO support of family or friends. I have been with him since his daughter was 11 and he is a wonderful dad and step dad to my 2 kids, who love him dearly. After all this, my biggest advice would be for your husband to just "be there" for his kid(s). Of course the kids love all their "toys" but their TIME with their parents is what they need and value most. Good luck!

Both my husband and I were 4 when our mothers divorced. My father never returned, but my husband got the worse situation -- riding the hope rollercoster with his father and stepfather and continually getting nothing.

I know he too gets worried that he won't set a good example, but every day he is playing/caring/respecting our children -- that's all they really need as the little people they are.

We are lucky -- we have examples of what we do not wish to do or be:) Perhaps our children will be even luckier and have examples of what to grow from as parents too:)

My hubby had a semi-rough chidlhood. And he always said, "The things that I went threw will never happen w/our girls". He makes sure the girls and I are well taken care of even if it means he goes w/o something. He makes us laugh everyday even if he is not trying. But when it comes down to something serious we all know he will help no matter what. We work as a team he and I. So as a couple talk about all decesions and the everyday things, so he can feel that he has taken and is a major roll in the babies live.

Just tell ur hubby that if he says true to his believes and words. He will be the graet father that he wants to be and the one u know he is!!
Happy days are coming, so enjoy them each day.