Ok...yesterday I was in a store in Baton Rouge and after what happened I am so angry I could spit!! I was standing at the check-out counter with my 3 month old and 21 month old in the cart. My 6 and 3 year olds were standing beside the cart. While I was using my debit card to pay a sales clerk came up, took my 3 year old by the hand and told him to come with her. She started to walk away and I turned around and asked her what in the world she thought that she was doing! She told me that she was "testing" my son to see if he would go with a stranger and that, because he went with her, he could be stolen from me without my knowing about it. I asked my son why he went with the lady and he told me, "cause she works here." I have talked to my kids about not going with strangers, what to do if we were ever to be separated in a store (to find an employee and ask them to "call" their mommy over the speakers), and what to do if someone they don't know tries to take them. The sales clerk was telling my son that he should NEVER talk to strangers, no matter what and that if he did he would never see his mommy, daddy, brother, and sisters again. I immediately left the store because my son was getting very upset. So, what happens? Tonight at Wal-Mart, a little old lady came up to him and asked him if he liked having a baby sister. My son went into complete melt-down, ran behind me, screaming the entire time that she was a stranger and he couldn't talk to her. I am so mad and I don't know how to handle this. Any suggestions?
I know everyone is dying to know what has happened regarding the clerk who tried to "teach my son a lesson". Well, I spoke with the General Manager of the store today - I didn't need to go any further than that, surprisingly. He was VERY concerned and informed me that the clerk (she does actually work there) was way out-of-line (DUH!!!) I pretty much told him that if he didn't do something about it one of two things was going to happen 1) I was going to call the police and get them involved and/or 2) I would get the media involved. He told me he would call me back. I didn't actually expect him to call back but he surprised me. He called me back within an hour and told me that the clerk's employment had been terminated. According to him, she had only worked at the store for 3 days prior to the incident with my son. AND, you are never going to believe this, but she did the same thing later that evening after I left the store. That mother went apes&*t!! He had thought that it was an isolated incident until I called (THANK YOU TO EVERYONE THAT TOLD ME TO CALL AND COMPLAIN). He also told me that he had contacted a detective friend of his and asked him to look into this. He kind of agreed with me, and with a lot of you, that she was "searching" for a child. Without your all's proding I might have just let this go and chalked it up to bad experience in a store and an overzealous clerk. I would have been devastated had I learned that she had actually stolen a child and I praise God that she didn't succeed with mine. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
R.
P.S. If any of you get the Baton Rouge newspaper could you let me know if this shows up in the news??
I would call the headquarters of the first store an file a complaint. I can't understand how someone would take it upon themselve to prove a point like that!
Good Luck!!!
Spit away sister. I would go back to the store, tell the manager what happened, what she was "telling your son" how traumatized he was with it and if you are not satisfied that they are taking appropriate actions ask to use their phone, call 911 and report an attempted kidnapping. Let the police sort it out then. After all, who made this clerk the kid police? Nobody has the right to touch your child, attempt to take them anywhere or attempt to teach them a lesson. As the parent that is your job. Who knows, by calling 911 that might even get your son some counseling through the victim assistance program. Ask the manager if they are a "Code Adam" store. Many stores have the protocol in place to lock down till the police arrive if a child goes missing. If they do not, then you can probably force them to put this in place. Little miss nosy may lose her job over this but some other child will not be traumatized in the future. In the meantime, just keep telling your son to trust the people that work in the stores if they need help. You can tell the manager as well that the clerk violated the trust you have been building with your child for his benefit. Such a big deal over what is no one else's business. Take two or three other mom's with you and be sure to let them know that if they can't trust their employees to not attempt to lure children away without a parents knowledge you will all take your business elsewhere and so will your other friends, family, people from church, school, playground and anyone that you can tell. If that does not get you satisfactory results, contact your local TV station, newspaper and radio station. In fact, I would have the letters prepared and if you are not satisfied when you get ready to leave, make sure you ask the manager to use HIS copier to make copies for his records of the letters you are going to send out. If this gets out into the media locally it could be devastating to a business.
Let us know how your spitting goes.
C.
R.,
I am a Domestic Violence Detective with the Shreveport Police Department.
Please, you NEED to call the police in Baton Rouge and make a report of this behavior. That "store clerk" could have easily been a pedafile and if you had not caught it in time, your son may have been gone. Many will go from job to job where they can get close to children.
PLEASE make a police report -- it may save the life of another child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLY COW!!! First of all... kudos to you for NOT getting sideways on that woman!!!! My blood is boiling JUST reading your post! I don't think that I would have ... NO, I KNOW I would not have handled the situation as well as you did. Thankfully, for your children you did.
I have no idea of what to tell your son. But...I think that you should file a FORMAL complaint in writing with the store and with the police!
R., thank goodness you saw her with your son! That must have been so scary for you both. Any employee in their right mind who valued their job would never do that. You should contact the store and let them know what happened if you haven't already. Poor little guy!! Maybe try to leave the kids at home if you can the next few trips to the store and just take the youngest with you. He should forget about what happened. Can you tell me what store this was so I can leave my little girl home if I have to go?
This sends up all kinds of red flags. I wonder if she was a sales clerk at all! Call the manager immediately...it should be on surveillance tape!
I think first that I would be angry even IF this woman's intentions were for good that is not the way to go about doing things. There are better ways.
ANOTHER thing are you absolutly sure she was an employee and not just poseing as one?? That would explain her "excuse"
and what a bold move on her part with YOU right there I would be upset.
Definitly file a formal complaint with the store. That woman has to know there are consequences for trying to steal another woman's child no matter her intention.
In the meantime, I would review "stranger danger" with your son. Let him know that if you are standing with him it is okay to talk to someone who asks him a question, unless you tell him otherwise. He just can't ever leave you. Explain the difference between answering the old lady's question and the store clerk who asked him to walk away. Try having him practice different situatons at home so he knows what to do when you are out and about.
First of all, that clerk had NO right to "test" your son!!! Who the hell does she think she is!! Me, I would have demanded to see the store manager and reported her! Unbelievable!
I would talk more calmly to your son about stranger dangers. There's no need for him to scream like that. I tell my kids that if I have not said it's okay to talk to that person, they are a stranger. They are not to go with anyone unless I or their father says they can.
However, my oldest two are 10 and 6. They can be talked to and reasoned with.
Good luck with this and I hope someone turns that freak in. Maybe she's just warming up to REALLY nab someone's child. Totally creepy and inappropriate!!!
God Bless,
Chris H.
Oh my God! I would be livid. If it were me, I would definitely contact the manager of the store and complain. I would also arrange childcare, and go and tell the woman how negatively that impacted your family, and how you ADVISED your child, if lost, to go to an employee, and how she confused and frightened him needlessly. Uuugh. How frustrating!
So sorry you had that experience.
A. - mom to Dominic (9) and Julian (6)
It is people like that lady that make the sweet old ladies like the one in Wal-Mart have a bad rap. I would certainly believe that was a lady posing as an employee who came up with a Plan B when you discovered what she was doing. I suspect that because to her she probably thought 'woman with four children has a lot on her mind'. Why else would she have picked the 'right' time when you were fixing to check out? Call that store asap girl. And if God forbid that should happen again, don't stop to humor her questions or speech to your son. Tell her to mind her own business and get the manager promptly. I work in the legal profession and there are some goofball people of all ages in the world.
No one has a right but you or your husband to just test your child on strangers...good intentions or not. If it were me, I would contact the store about it. I'm not saying get the person fired but that was not called for.
If that is store policy to test children, then ask why you didn't know that about that store.
That's just crazy!!! I would freak out!!!
OMG! This is outrageous!! I'm trying to figure out how to respond to this! First of all, did she have your permission first to do this? I've seen this kind of thing on television, but the person always asked the parents permission first. I'd have this woman's job, if I were you. Did you not report this to the store manager? Obviously, this woman saw the same show I did, and just thought she'd try it out on someone, and she definitely had NO RIGHT to do this!!! I live 80 miles north of Baton Rouge in Natchez, MS. It's unfortunate how this has affected your son. You seriously should report this. Not only did this woman scare you to death, she has somewhat traumatized your son, am I right?
Ok, I have a 3 year old son and he talks to EVERYONE!!! He has no problem talking to strangers when we are in Wal-Mart especially. It scares me though. Cuz he likes to run off from me and hide and I am afraid someone might see him and snatch him and I'll never see him again. I am a first-time mom and not sure what to tell him and hope that he understands. But he is very bright for his age but I still need advice..Thx
I would be on the phone to the manager of that store until I had her job. That is non of her business for one. #2, she is likely to do that to the wrong person and get punched in the face (I would have gone nuts on her!). It is your responsibility to teach your children how to respond to strangers. A 3 yr old is alot different than a 6 yr old. They would never understand that. Of course, with you standing there he would go with someone...mommy is there to save him!. Ugh, that erks me. She definately needs to be taken down a couple of notches off her high horse! This needs to be reported. I hope you are able to have your voice heard on this~!
Find that woman's manager, speak to that person, make that woman formally apologise to your son. There is no excuse for freaking out a 3 year old. After all of this dies down, maybe have a casual chat about not walking away from mommy with anyone.
For a situation like this, I would bypass the manager and speak to someone at their main headquarters. Google it and find their main office. That is absurd. She has no right to touch him, much less "test" him.
Dear R.:
I, too, believe she was a fake, not an employee, but talking to the manager will help. They may have surveillance tapes still (hurry!). And I, too, would not have had that thought of her being a fake until much later when she got away with it. If she WAS real, she will likely be fired... I highly doubt what she did was a store policy.
A reasonable 'test' should clue in the parents or at least know they consent, and the identity of the 'stranger' should be known. Likewise, any burglar could just be 'testing' the alarm system and any store thief could 'test' the security cameras.
However, something good came out of it, believe it or not.
Your whole family now knows that those drills and warnings about strangers are real. I never thought wind could take a chunk out of a building until I saw one close-up after a (small) tornado. Knowing that you do something for a real reason changes the perspective from far-away concept to split-second reality. The next time anyone grabs any of your kids, the (oral) sirens will go off, and nobody will follow that person silently.
Don't forget to include 'opening the door' in your arsenal of warnings. Kids tend to open the door when mom/dad is in the back, and they can get grabbed fast.
Kudos for your alert supervision!
Regards,
W.
First and foremost I would call the store in which this occurred and tell the manager about the actions of his/her employee... NO one has the right to "test" your children! As far as how to handle your son's new fear of people I would sit him down and do everything you can to try to get him to understand the difference between speaking to a stranger (especially when mommy's standing right there) and willingly walking away with a stranger. At 3 it's really hard for him to understand the differences between situations but it's important that you really try to undo the damage that this idiot has done. Otherwise, if he ever does get seperated from you he will be a total wreck and will refuse to speak to anyone. Not to mention how much of a pain it is for him to freak out like that when someone is just innocently trying to make conversation.
Maybe you could try to work out a system where if someone tries to talk to him he needs to ask you (or daddy) if it's ok to talk to them... at least then he feels secure but still is leaving the option for him to learn casual social skills.
Good luck with that but I would certainly make a strong complaint about the girl who started this mess... she needs to learn that she can't just go around teaching other people's kids a lesson.
Good luck!!!!
I would call the store and put in a compliant about the clerk that did that. It is not her place to do anything like that. Very uncalled for.
As for your son I would keep telling him what you have taught him before this happened. It will take some time but he'll start to believe you.
Hi R. F.
I would have called a manager and made a complaint against that worker, she had no right to do what she did and she had no right to scare your son like she did.
M. D.
Oh My GOSH!!!!! Have you talked to the manager? That is son inappropriate!! It is not her job to test your child without your consent. I can not believe that happened. I consider myself pretty level headed, but I would have flipped out! DO you know FOR CERTAIN that she indeed does work there. Or what if she got that job with the intent to do harm to a child for REAL. I would definitely talk with the manager and depending on how much your trust her intentions, maybe even the police. I am soo sorry that happened, I can only imagine the fear it has put in your son.
I wish I had some advice for you on what to tell him...bless your heart, that is going to take some "undoing". I will keep your situation in my prayers R.!
?!?!?!?! I'm echoing everyone else's sentiments on this one. Call the store and call their headquarters, too! Why in the H*** that woman thought she had ANY right to do that with someone else's child is beyond me. Especially with your having all 4 kids with you?! Like you need any more stress than that! And it is horrible to do that to a child. Just WHERE was she planning on taking him? How far was she going to walk with him -- until you looked around and freaked out because your child wasn't there?!? That is not even a good practical joke to play on someone. That is a horrible and scary thing! She clearly doesn't have children because that is every parent's worst nightmare, looking around and your child not being there.
I think I would have to had restrained myself from slapping her!!!!!
OMG! I can't believe the clerk did this without talking to you about this first! Was she bored? My first reaction who be to call the store manager and give them a piece of my mind. I guess the the best thing to do would be to explain to your son that you still want him to find an employee if he gets lost and have them call you over the speakers, leave that in tact. But, but if a stranger asks him a question and you are standing right there, most of the time it's okay to answer...gosh, I'm not sure! But, try to keep it as simple as possible so as to not confuse him anymore. You could tell him that the sales lady was 'pretending' to be a stranger, but didn't do a very good job of it! So sorry for the mess she got you into! Let us know what happens.
Oh my gosh! I think I would have went left on that L. you handled that situation much better than I ever would have. I would have completly lost my mind. But, what you have to think about in the end is this.............What would have happened if you wouldn't have turned around? Would she have kept walking and really left with him and was that just a excuse to cover up what she did since she was caught when you turned around. I agree with the other mom who said call 911 because right now that is a very serious matter and it could possibly help save someone elses child.
Man, I need to make sure I keep close watch on my kids while I'm in the store clerk or no clerk don't be playing tricks with my kids.
How horrible!! I would have reported her to the manager. It is not her place to test your son!
A.
Report this woman to the store manager immediately if you haven't done so already. She was WAY out of line. You could also be doing her a favor by preventing her from being injured by another parent the next time she does this. Had I spotted someone walking away with my child, there would have been no asking "What are you doing?" I would have immededaitely assumed she was attemtping to kidnap her and tackled her at the knees.
hey R.,
Sorry that you had to go through this scary ordeal, but if you have her name wouldn't you prefer reporting her to the authories even if she got fired? what if she applies for a job elsewhere and manages to kidnap a kid? If I were you I would truly consider reporting her..
Good luck and thanks for being such a brave mom.
I would definately talk to a store manager! Complain away! Do they realize you could sue them for the mental anguish your son is going through? Store employees have no right to lead your child away for any reason whatsoever. Great job stopping her, though! Some parents would not have noticed until their child was already out of sight. I am just so outraged by your story - to think that some people think it is OK to tell your child something like that. Just keep telling your son the same thing you have been. Maybe add that it is OK to talk to a stranger if you are standing beside him, and that if a store clerk or anyone else tries to lead him away, he should tell you first. I'm so sorry you had to go through something like that and I would be back in that store raising a fuss!!!!!!
wow! well for one you have got to talk to the offending clerk's management, you may even have legal recourse.
You definitely need to even see if this person was a real clerk there! And if so, I'd say, formal complaint at the very, VERY least! Your 3 yr. old is at a very impressionable age, this could scar him emotionally for life, not to mention your other children that witnessed it! And even if it's only something that hurts him temporarily? It has harmed him..and they need to understand that, CLEARLY! Don't let this go any longer without doing something...and let us know how it goes, hon..we Mom's are with you ALL THE WAY!! You most likely "saved" your son from being "stolen" Kudos to you for being such an aware Mom, you have to be with so many, I know, I have 5!! And lastly, in my opinion, you caught her not "testing" him, she got caught "taking" him..and that was her excuse to cover her rear...don't let her succeed with someone else's child...
You really should call that store. Or if you can find someone to watch the kids go up there and demand to talk to a manager, not bringing the kids would allow for a more thorough chewing. That was uncalled for, and I probably would have lost it right there. If you get no where with the manager call the corporate headquarters. I'm sure it scared him, but hopefully he will eventually calm down about it.
R.,
I don't think the clerk should have tried this without your knowledge or without the store's consent. I think your son will calm down though. I did, however, want to tell you about a news program that I saw. The local news where I lived at the time(Tulsa) did a test in the park with children to see if they would go with them. They of course did this with the parent's consent. They came up to the child at the park when mommy/daddy wasn't looking and asked them to help them look for their lost puppy. 8 OUT OF 10 CHILDREN WENT WITH THE STRANGER!!! The findings on this test were incredible. I have talked to my son about strangers and the usual candy in the car scenerio, but this I would not even have thought of! I immediately had another talk with him about many other different scenerio's, and practiced with him. He then asked me about stranger's in Walmart. I had to explain the difference. An idea I have is, for instance, tell your son that it's okay to talk to strangers if mommy/daddy is holding your hand, or touches their nose...something like a code between parent and child, so your son would know that then it would be okay to answer them. Let us know how this works out! : )
Ooh girl everyone has said it. I just hope you got her name or the receipt that tells the time you were there and roll those cameras. I have no doubt that management would want her there. Unfortunately there are weirdos who take on certain jobs to lurk at places they know kids are at their access. That job doesnt mean anything to her. She may just be a idiot with her mind not right or she might like I said already consumed the job to find herself a kid. You owe it to yourself and other moms to report her. She may get away next time.
I think its time for somebody to get fired! They are your children to teach these things not hers. I would be furious. That is a very improper way to act.
Hi there,
Wow--I would certainly call the store, speak to the General Manager, and if you don't get satisfaction, you go right up the chain. What occurred was attempted kidnapping--a felony. You sound like a very alert, very good mom who may have saved your son from a kidnapper posing as a store employee. Take action!
N.
