Stool retention/Withholding

My son did this. I could always tell when he was needing to go. He just wouldn't. Finally when I noticed he was holding, I would just take him into the toilet and make him sit until it came out.

I.,
Ahhh I am so sorry! I have been in your shoes and it is scary!
Well... I learned with our first son ( I have 4 kiddos from 21years to 4years) that the "Poo Poo Fairy" had to come to town to encourage his bm's ( she left a treat under his pillow in exchange for a poo poo in the potty :) and with alot of praise this phase did not last too long... eventually, we said good by to the "PooPoo Fairy"... because she had to help other little boys/girls! He was 2 3/4's...
With our #2 son we had a more serious problem( He seemed to be doing fine pooping in the potty for a few weeks( just started doing it on his own.. no special praise or treats needed) but, then, one D.... constipation and a very painful poop came knocking at his little door, so to speak... his poop was sooo painful he refused to do "that" again... )and we had to seek the doc. and she gave him an enima...followed with a few suppositories , such unpleasantness, But with the experience of a non painful bm, along with the Poo Poo Fairy's support and a colorful and cool "Poo Poo chart" that he got to place a sticker or gold star on every time he went in the potty... we associated "good stuff" with the whole pooping thing! We made sure he was hydrated and getting enough fiber and was trained by 2 3/4's, too.
When my 2 daughters were ready the " Poo Poo Fairy" came, too... more as a positive tradition... a right of passage...and fun way to complete potty training! Oh, yes... and flushable wipes ( kind to little bums:)

Best of Luck!

http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/14281766758929989633

This link above is for the same subject, from MamaPedia not long ago.

Your son is doing what is called: "Withholding" of his BM.

Pottying.. is in stages. Pooping especially.
Not all at once.
It is a learning curve and about acquisition of biological and emotional maturity.
He will get it... just not on a parental time-line.
Pooping, in a toilet is often the last stage of mastery.
Well, actually night-time dryness is a WHOLE OTHER thing, unrelated to daytime pottying.

My son, is 3 years old... actually 3.5, and he still will not poop in a toilet.
AND IT IS A FICKLE thing. As the child begins to attain some semblance of comfort with it.

For me, I do not push the pottying thing nor poop.
When my eldest child was potty learning... she became constipated. So much so and so badly... that we had to take her to a Pediatric Gastroenterologist... who, says the majority of his patients are Toddlers who are potty training. The constipation... occurs when the child is not ready to poop on a potty, but is pushed to do so. As a result, the child "withholds" their poop, on purpose... meaning, they do NOT poop.... either in a toilet nor in a diaper. NOTHING. This then causes a medical problem and actual pain, from the constipation...and as the BM gets harder within the body... it then becomes nearly impossible for the child to poop, without having great pain. The problem, then becomes an "emotional" problem. Or, the child can develop bulging bowels... or Encopresis. And this is a medical problem.

For my daughter, even though we did not force pottying... the idea of pooping on a toilet or on a potty simply gave her a lot of anxiety and stress. So then she stopped pooping. Per the Doctor, we had to give her prescriptions... and it took about THREE months... for the constipation, to normalize and for her to gain normalcy in pooping, in a diaper. This is per the Pediatric Gasteroenterologist. It took a LONG time... for the constipation to go away... and for our daughter to overcome it...

So, this can become a 'battle' or a 2 pronged medical problem (biological & emotional based). And once it becomes an impacted constipated poop problem... it is hard to correct and undo the bodily pain they have when constipated.... because by then, they have an actual "fear" to poop.

Per the Doc... he said, don't battle it. Don't force it. It will occur naturally, when the child is ready.
He also does NOT recommend suppositories.

Kids.. have imaginations and 'logic' that is not like adults. For us, we may be fed-up... but it does not help the child.

He will get it. Just not yet. Kids DO get "scared" of pooping.
My son as I said... will not poop in a toilet yet. Even though he did it before about 2 times.
No biggie.
After what my daughter went through, just to poop... I am not going to push my son about it.

Your son is not eating/drinking... because he is constipated... and his system/bowels are over full, internally. It is uncomfortable.

He has to be able to poop... and it is now a "medical" problem... just let him poop... even if in a diaper. If need be. He has to get better, medically... first. Before pushing that he go on a toilet again. Having him get medically worse and more constipated... is not worth battling about him being in a diaper or go on a toilet.
He needs to see a Doctor... they can also x-ray him and see how blocked up his bowels are.... the more constipated the bowels get, the "harder" the poop gets... and then it is real painful to come out... etc.
all the best,
Susan

There's a post maybe one or two pages down about the same condition. It's called encopresis. Not a fun one and it's one that sticks around for a while. All of my tips are in the previous post -- we did get our son to overcome it, but it took a long time and the laxatives were not the key.

Good luck!

It sounds like the Looooong story would be really important for us to give you any useable advice, I.. There's probably something in there that holds the key to this mystery.

Without enough information, I can only guess that your son was ready to train for pee, but not for poop. Those are two vastly different stages for many children, and often happen at different times, with poop usually following pee training.

Have you offered him a diaper to poop in? It sounds like there is some control issue here, or possibly real fear. You're not giving us any of your son's slant on this, and I think that would be essential information here.

I think a lot of kids go through this and it's such a hard thing on both of you. My son was doing this for a while where he would hold it and not go then he'd get a stomach ache.

Do you have the book, "Everyone Poops". It's a great book and what we did was I'd have him sit on the potty while I read it to him. He loved it. It took his mind off having to go and before you knew it he went poop. We did that every day for a while and now sometimes when he's having a hard time going he calls me in to read it to him and it works.

Might sound kind of weird but it saved us. I first had to tell him that he didn't have to go poop but he had to at least sit on the toilet while I read to him. That way he wasn't feeling pressured in to going.

Just an option,
A.

This sounds all to familiar to me. My son did the same thing for months. I thought I was going to loose my mind, because he would hold it until I gave him a suppository. We could hardly leave the house, because he was constantly holding his poop. He grew out of it at four years three months. I gave him Myralax until the age af five and he is almost six and has no issues. Hang in there. He will grow out of it.

My aunt went throught this with her son aswell. She would use the suppository as a threat almost. If she knew he was holding it in she would sit him on the toilet and he would sit there and cry and she told him if he didnt go he had to have a suppository. These episodes lasted a few months. His diet didnt help though, he was often constipated so it would hurt him. I think you should sit him on the toilet and if he gets up sit him back down. If dad is in the house, he should back you up on this. Poor baby, he wont starve himself but he's probably a little smarter then we think!

We used marshmellows for a while. If my daughter would poop in the toilet, and wash her hands, she would get a marshmellow. The babysitter started it, and it worked, so we continued it. She only needed the marshmellows for a little while, maybe a couple of months, then the marshmellows got stale and she wouldn't eat them anymore...
The other thing is to sit him down and talk to him, making eye contact. Tell him that you are very sad that he is having such a hard time with this, and that you would really appreciate it if he went poop in the potty. and eat.
Another thing is to go shopping with him and let him pick out some undies. Then let him know if he poops in the undies you will throw them away, cause you don't want to deal with yucky undies...
good luck
R.

My son went through the SAME thing and it was sooo frustrating! We ended up really folllowing how often he pooped and then just forcibly sitting him down on the potty until he pooped if it had been more than a day. It was really not a lot of fun, but he always felt so much better afterwards! We also talked to our pediatrician and she explained to him that he needed to at least try and poop every day. Sometimes they need to hear it from someone other than mom and dad because that did the trick. After that, we just had to remind him that "Dr Johnson said..." and he'd at least try. I feel for you though...it was awful there for a while!

-M