Having a camera in your childrens face all the time mentally and physically healthy for them and is it fair to me that I dont get good pictures of them cause there trained by there stepmother to look at her camera and not mine? There steomother who is 20 years old, is constantly having a camera in my childrens face. Ive learned she LOVEs attention, and everything is about her. She dresses my daughter up exactly matching as her and takes pictures after pictures before they even go out. Then when there out ,and say its at a function were I am also attending, shes constanlty taking the kids attention away from me to take more pictures of them and with them. There father is barely in any picture unless its a family picture. Just adding this, ( She postes every single one on her face book as soon as she can.)
When the kids are with me. I try to take advantage of there attention cause I can't get it when there around there stepmother. Also, I try to limit the picture taking, because I know they are kids and they want to play and get messy. My kids know this of me, but it just sucks for me cause when I do go to take there pictures, there so burned out with picture taking, its hard for me to get good ones. Sounds really childish I know...but this chick is soo over bearing with a lot of things, I miss out ,as there REAL mother, on things that a mother should be able to do with there kids.....
I ment to post more detail before, but pushed send to soon sorry.....
I wish I could tell this story from the beginning, but it would be way to long. Ive tried being friends with her. Ive tried talking to her. Ive even make it appoint of letting her be involved with the kids functions, even when Im capable of doing them. I know it would make my kids happy to have her participate with them, BUT this is where it gets hard...... Shes rude to me. She makes rude comments to me when we are at these functions, She puts me down on FB, Shes went as far as Chopping my daughters hair off even before they were married.... And you may think Well what did you do to make her be this way. NOTHING! Ive been totally nice to her and my X, Ive been fair as fair can be! Ive never called her out in front of my kids when she makes rude comments and yes I let her take all those pictures and the attention of my kids with out making a single peep. I hold it in untill Im alone. Because it is petty for HER to make this a competion. I hate having competion with anyone! But she does thing that just make me want to stoop to her level, but I dont cause like you said She does treat my kids good. Its just I have to put up with a lot from her, and I dont pick fights with her. The only time we get into any kind of argument is if my kids come home and tell me She's told them something not true about me... Other than that her childish manner I try my best to ignore. And About the FB thing, Ive asked her first to stop posting pictures and places she goes with them. DIDNT work, So I went to my X. DIDNT work. Ive told my X I would love to get along with her for the kids sake. And tells me that would be wonderful if we could, Well she goes" NOPE not going to be friends with her. " My X was even Disappointed." And as the comment about the REAL mother. Ive always felt, even if the stepmother is a wonderful mother figure, that there should always be a boundary and RESPECT for the REAL mother. I think all step mothers should know that! Expecially if the REAL mother is 100% in there life. I cant stop her from taking pictures, but I wish there was some way she could back off a little, but knowing her she wont. I just got to deal with it.......
This has nothing to do with your question, you got lots of good advice already! I don't want to offend, but you might want to review the use of their, they're, and there.
I don't think it is about pictures.... it is about the stepmom.
Since your children have to deal with divorce and splitting their time between you and dad/stepmom.... It would be in your children's best interest to try to get along with the stepmom and make this experience as positive as possible for the children.
It sounds like this stepmom is caring and at least trying to be a positive part of your children's lives.
It could be worse... She could be a stepmom from he$$ who hates your children and makes their life miserable because she wants their daddy all to herself.
It sounds like you are trying to pick a fight with your ex's new wife. I think you should look at the bright side of things in that she seems to care about your kids. If you are concerned about her posting their pix on FB, just let her know you'd like her to adjust the privacy settings so only friends can see. She is 20 after all so it sounds like she is playing the part of an older sister with the matching outfits. Your kids must be like dolls to her ;) But there's nothing wrong with her wanting to take so many pictures (most 20 year olds do!). Take advantage and ask her for a copy of the photos- maybe you can ask her to make you an album :) Relax mama, unless she is harming your children, don't make your issues your children's.
I agree with the moms that say you are just trying to pick a fight.
If you really want pictures of your kids maybe you could make friends with their step mom and have her send the pictures to you.
My concern would be, that she is posting your kids' pics online on FB.
IF she is taking these photos with say, an iPhone... these photos, once loaded onto the computer/FB, will be tagged, with WHERE the photos were taken. Via Google maps and GPS etc. I know, because my Hubby has an iPhone and FB and, unless you manually change the settings of the photos/FB, all photos will display WHERE the photos were taken. ie: your home address, the kids' school etc. And then, if others forward these photos to others, you have no way to track that nor control it. And then, who knows WHO, is viewing your kids and knowing where they live etc. As you know, this is potential trouble. Pedophiles etc. Any 'stranger' can find out where the kids' live.
Also, your kids, for the rest of their lives, will have their photos, online somewhere.
So if you are concerned about privacy, then well, this is a concern.
Also, IF the Step-Mom, is putting down personal information on FB about your kids... like their full names, their ages, where they go to school, etc., then, anyone can find them. And, for many parents, child privacy is important. For example.
Even schools, do not put down a child's FULL name, per photos they post, because, it is about safety online, and child privacy of minors.
Are you referring to physical health, or mental health? :)
Hope not...otherwise my daughter will suffer from papparazzi syndrome! :-)
My step grandma did this only it was with everyone. You see when you are taking a photo you can direct others in a mirco managey way and have all the attention on you while giving the impression that she is really focusing on the person she is photographing. It gives her power and that what she wants. It could also be her way of keeping the kids from making a mess of themselves because she can chastize them for ruining photos.
I would let it slide though. She is only 20 and well, I remember being 20 years old! Also take pictures when they are messy! I love the messy photos! They are ususally the best and have the best stories to them. The picture perfect photos are well, fake really.
Although quite annoying, consider her age and pick your battles. This is one to let fall by the wayside. At least she's interested in your kids, right? I agree with the other moms, the everyday spontaneous pics are the best anyway and the ones you'll cherish, not the staged/forced one. Hang in there w/ the teeny bopper!
Be sure the flash is turned off
How much time does she spend with them anyway? It sounds like she is ALWAYS there when you are.
I would be more worried about whether she is nice to them, does nice things for them and treats them with respect. I suspect she'll grow tired of taking pictures as they get older.
Could you give us some more information on what you mean? Maybe some examples or situations? Your question isn't very clear. Thanks!
I think it just gets annoying my sister is like this she probably takes 30 pictures a day I am lucky to take 30 a year. I dont think it is unhealthy just incredibly annoying
Some of my most favorite pics of my kids are when they are 'in the moment' of something, and NOT looking at me for the pic. Make your pics about the moment, not the moment that they paused for a fake smile.
One of my most FAVORITE pics of my nephew is a 3/4 shot of when he is talking to my daughter and breaks into this HUGE smile!
I hope so. I did it with my children and now I do it with my grandchildren. I try to use the natural light as often as possible do they don't get that flash all the time. But my kids have grown up with no aftereffects. My grans have pictures taken of them so often - not just by me - that they automatically pose when they see a camera. Hmmmm... is the posing healthy or not? :^)
