My step daughter just turned 10 last week and we are fighting with her to eat. She went to her psychatrist yesterday and when he took her weight, she was 45 lbs. She has dropped 8 lbs in the past 3 months. I wouldn't be so concerned it if wasn't for the fact that she doesn't do anything physical to burn it off. She won't ride her bike, roller blade, nothing. Her dad and I made a rule that everyday she had to do some type of physical activity for 30 minutes. She will start, but just stop after 10 minutes and either hide or come to the door and ask if time was up. We live in the country and she has plenty of room to run and play, but just won't. Even to dance around her room would be fine, but she won't do that either. When we take her somewhere, she gives out easily. We have been struggling with her eating for almost 2 years now. She just won't eat or drink. She will eat breakfast, throw her lunch away at school everyday and we have to push her to eat dinner every night! She isn't eating alot of snacks either. She gets one small snack after school...fruit or raw veggies. Her teachers keep a log of how much she eats at lunch everyday. She will tell us, oh yeah I ate all my lunch, but the report shows that she may eat her lunch 2 times in a month. A few days ago, she got caught putting her food on her little brother's plate when I walked out of the room. She lied about it as always, but it was hard to cover up since we had steak and her brother's is cut up into such tiny pieces and her's isn't. For her birthday, she wanted and new bathing suit, her grandparents too her shopping and bought her one. When she tried it on for us, she was talking about how big her tummy was. There isn't anything big about this child at all. I am worried that she is starting an eating disorder. I have taken her to the doctor in the past and they don't see that there is a problem. I am worried that with up living in a small town, they just won't consider an eating disorder. I think something is wrong with a 10 year old that is down to 45 lbs, she can still wear size 6x clothes, but with her height, she has to have 8-10....Is there anyone that has gone through this or have any ideas. I really am worried about her.
my niece is the same way but shes only 8 and everyone is blaming it on her ADD medication but she won't eat im scared for her her dad told me that he heard her mom tell her that if she eats she'll get fat so maybe someone has said this or something close to this to you stepdaughter
If I were you I would take her to a doctor outside of where you live. It does sound like the beginning of an eating disorder. Maybe her friends are doing it too. Wouldnt hurt to contact their parents. Good luck!
I totally encourage you to follow your gut instincts and persue getting help to her. Get to a larger metropolitan area and find a psychiatrist that can help her see that her eating patterns are leading to a health disorder. Use your resources and get some support!
you may want to look in to juvinile Depression in webMD.talk to her find out why she is not eating.
I can't believe the doctor does not see a problem with this. I think she has an eating disorder, sounds like anorexia to me. Obviously this little girl has a lot of issues and self image is a big one. There are children this age contemplating suicide nowadays - you might want to consider asking the psychiatrist for a gp referral to find a doctor who understands these types of problems.
You don't say whether her biological mother is in the picture or not, but I wonder if there are unresolved issues there, and with daddy remarrying and having another child?
I think you might have to approach this on a few different levels. For now,if it were me, I'd not push the physical activity as all that is doing is burning up the small amount of calories that she is taking in.
What does she drink? Any chance of "doctoring" them to add more calories (even "empty calories" for now). Maybe get powdered Gatorade electrolyte mixes (or Pedialyte)and use them to make up like Kool Aid instead of plain water, or if she likes milk shakes, mixing some dried milk powder with the regular whole milk and adding a few extra calories and nutrients that way. Even maybe getting something like Slimfast but using it as an addition to the diet instead of a meal replacement, but because they are basically a meal, she'd be getting some extra nutrition.
Are there ANY foods that she really likes? Something that she does find it hard to say "no" to? If so, I'd just have them around so that she was wanting to eat. Right now, I'd not even worry about healthy snacks and such, I'd just let her eat anything and everything, whether it was junk food even. Just to start getting the weight back on while you got to the root of what was really the matter.
Obviously the school believes you have a problem for them to be watching her there.
I would suggest researching online for anorexia information and finding some support with one of those, they would be far more able to direct you in how to work towards helping this little girl. It might even be necessary to hospitalize her and have her evaluated that way, but they would be able to give you all the options available.
I am so sorry for all of you, it must be heartbreaking to be going through.
Now, the grandparents. Are they your husband's parents? What about them, do they have similar problems with her eating when she is with them or does she eat normally over there? Maybe you can enlist their help too?
Keep us posted, this is a bad situation and she should definitely weigh more than she does.
I was the exact same way when I was her age and I didn't have an eating disorder. I just didn't care about eating...wish that was the same now. I was 50-55 pounds in the 5th grade and was always of average height. I would've been happy with bologna and mustard on bread for dinner and then call it a day. If she is saying that she is fat...talk to her like a friend...ask her if she is serious and then assure her she is far from fat. Maybe even something to the fact of.."I wish you could be as thin as you"...make this constant. I remember I was constantly told I was skinny, bony, ate like a bird...so on and so forth. You begin to believe things that are constantly told to you.
Secondly, you talk about living in the country and sending her outside to have some physical activity- does she have anyone to play with? I would think that would get pretty boring playing by myself with nothing around me besides fields. Do you and your husband get out there with her, riding bikes, playing hide-and-seek, anything to make playing actually fun? It sounds sad that she doesn't even want to play...that was the complete opposite of me as a child- I didn't eat much, but I was constantly active. Maybe getting her on a soccer or t-ball team would help. If those won't work- I would look more into depression issues than an eating disorder. Is her birth monther around?
You all definitely need to do something quick! My cousin was 10 when she started that also. She's 23 now and doing sooo much better, however she has had major health concerns!! Does she live full time with you?? Go to this website www.eatingdisordercoalition.org My cousin works with them. Contact me and I can give a lot more information! Good Luck!
T.,
I have been through this with my daughter who is now 23 and still has the issues of weight. I would suggest you going to the libray and checking out some material on eating disorders. You will be surprised at what you can learn and the danger we can do as parents with the words we say to them.
We see thin and tiny girls but they what they see is totally opposite. They have to be retrained altogether. What does her psychatrist suggest. He/she should be somewhat experienced in this area. I would certainly look at a specialist in this order and make a consultation appointment for just you and your husband first, then go from there.
Good Luck
D.
Wow that is so sad that she is so worried about being fat at this age. What did the psychratrist say about this? I would be worried, heck my son is 6 and weighs more then her and he not fat!! Have you tried to sit her down and talk to her about it? That would be where I would start. Then I would try the doctor again, tell them how she talks about wieght and stuff. Tell them you want her checked out. Good luck!!! I keep ya in my prayers.
yes, yes, yes.....i agree with everyone here....take her to a psychologist for an initial eval for depression and possible eating disorder for her distorted body image.....the psychologist may then recommend a psychiatrist for possible medication such as anti-depressants, which may increase her eating!
If you are in the triangle area, email me and I will give you names of good child psychologists!
Pam
My Mom takes Prozac and I called her and she said it does supress your appetite. She is also diabetic, so she knows she has to force herself to eat or suffer major dilemmas.
I definitely agree that your step daughter should see someone else that can help her. I remember responding to your email about her and the lie she told. The family as a whole needs to go. She has something bothering her that is more than likely causing all the problems you seem to have with her. Maybe she feels jealous of your baby with her father and you also. Our oldest son (12) sometimes does things in the wrong but it is an attention grabber when he is feeling left out. Unfortunately it is negative attention and he has been working on letting us know when he is needing some extra time instead of doing things incorrectly. I will pray for your family and that you as a whole can find the help that everyone seems to be needing. Good Luck!
I hope this helps you...Here is a site I found for eating disorders: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/p.asp?WebPage_ID=294 and click on treatment referrals at the top of the page, there are a couple in greenville, SC and even one in Durham, NC. Maybe you could call them for advice because your daughter needs help NOW. Let us know how she's doing please. It's the National Eating Disorders Association website.
J.
She is in serious trouble and needs help with her eating disorder immediately. My 6-year-old weighs 45 lbs. She can't do 30 minutes of exercise a day because she doesn't get the calories necessary to sustain it. No calories = no energy = no muscle. She needs a psychiatrist who specializes in eating disorders. Most programs don't take them until 13 or so. Good luck.
T.,
I wish there was an easy answer here. I am kind of dealing with the same thing with both of my older kids. My daughter (11) doesn't eat very well. She has hit puberty and is having the same issues as your step daughter. She is constantly saying that she is fat (it doesn't help that her step mom and her father tell her she needs to diet). She refuses to eat breakfast and says that she doesn't eat at school either. My son on the other hand won't eat because of the medication he is on. We just put him on Adderall, so that is messing with his system right now.
I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this. I personally would have yours seen by a doctor and take the reports from the school with you. Maybe it would be best for you and her father to speak with the doctor first without her in the room, so that you can express your concern openly. Maybe even her phyciatrist will have some suggestions for you.
Good Luck!
T.
