Teen Age Boy Not Eating Much

As long as there aren't signs of depression, I wouldn't worry. My hubby is 26. Up until recently he was the same height and weight as he was at 14 lol he's still very skinny, but after being deployed and working out twice a day, he's gained 20lbs in muscle =) if he hadn't been working out that much, he'd still be the same exact weight though!

Leave him be. He will eat when he is hungry. Is he back into sports? He may not need the energy of the extra food.

OH my Gosh, everyone should chill out! Sorry, but just because a teenager isn't eating you out of house and home doesn't mean he's depressed, sick, angry, on drugs, ....................and on and on.

My almost 17 yr old son is exactly the same way and I even asked several of his friends this question and most of them say that one small meal or a lunch often keeps them full. My son practically never eats it seems like and he's just fine and dandy. He never eats breakfast and never take a lunch with him to school. He will usually go with his friends and have a small lunch and maybe a sandwich for dinner. Kids just go through this. If he's hungry he'll eat. Don't assume the worst and honestly, if him not having an appetite is wearing on your relationship with him then you need to back off the subject and not let it get to you so much. Their could be much worse things he's doing than saving you money in clothing.

I'm assuming you're sure he doesn't have some kind of eating disorder. Has he always been thin or is this something new?

So, assuming that, I wouldn't worry too much. I just took my 16 year old to the doctor, and they measured and weighed him, and at just over 6 feet he weighs 131 pounds. I went wow, I'm only 5' 7" and I weigh 10 pounds more than you.

My son just isn't very interested in food, and never has been. He's always been skinny. My husband and I just make sure to prepare things for him and tell him to eat. Nothing fancy, just anything that has calories. We don't make a big deal about his weight -- most skinny people start packing on the pounds in adulthood.

And they grow when they grow. It's doubtful that he's so malnourished that he's stopped growing.

Hi S.,

This sounds like a delicate issue. You want to do everything you can to assure your son's good health and yet recognize he needs to step up and take some responsibility in this area. Your son is moving into adulthood and sometimes will make choices that don't align with what you wish to happen. I am right there with my teenagers! This is a great time to try stepping back a bit and letting your son take the lead on discovering if anything is going on.

A visit with your pediatrician / family doctor is a great starting point. He or she is trained to watch not only for medical issues but to look for signs of anything else that might need attention. If you let your son do most of the talking at a visit with the doctor, you are empowering your son to take a more active role in his own health. It is time for him to learn how to do all this if he will be moving out in the near future. Trust your doctor to guide both of you on any next steps.

My hubby was skinny when we started dating in college. He now wishes he could lose at least 15 pounds!

Good luck,
Parent Coach J. B

I agree with the others about encouraging your son to eat, but not to worry about it so much. I would recommend that he take a daily multivitamin just to make sure he gets some nutrients in him.

I do want to mention, however, that if his eating is affecting his health (per your doctor) and he needs to eat more you have a few options. I work in the medical field, so these are some things that may help. There are always health shakes that you can give him (if he'll drink them) that can pack in a lot of nutrients and calories. There are a ton of options out there. I doubt he would drink Ensure or Boost, but those would work too. If things were really bad, there are also prescription appetite enhancers. These are used all of the time in the medical field. I'm not saying that your son NEEDS to take these, I'm just saying these are on option if poor eating is effecting his health. Lots of luck!

You've gotten some great answers here, S.. I don't really have much to add advice-wise, but I do have a couple of anecdotes -- my son is 16 and has never been "into" food. I've been waiting for that "eats everything in the house" stage to kick in, and no luck so far! He likes food fine, he's just not a big eater. He's skinny as a rail and we have a hard time finding jeans that fit his waist AND his height (he's tall). He's a homebody, doesn't go out much, but very secure and happy. He eats when we have a sit-down meal, otherwise he just eats when he's hungry, and he's fine! Healthy, happy, all that good stuff.

On the other hand, when I was growing up my oldest brother went through a drastic weight loss when he was about 16. This was back before anyone knew much about eating disorders, or even all the ins and outs of depression (1970s). They had him tested for all kinds of things, including tapeworms. Come to find out, he was anorexic. He had been a pudgy child and early teen, and was also going through severe depression at the time, so he took to throwing up all his meals in order to lose weight and, I guess, feel more in control of his life. Thank God they discovered what was going on! It was a long, hard struggle for him, but he is 56 now and although he still has food issues, at least those are mostly being fanatical about health foods -- and he's still alive!

So -- probably this is completely normal and nothing to worry about, it's just your son's metabolism, or whatever. But it wouldn't hurt to take him to the doc and have him examined, tested and, if necessary, talked to about good nutrition. But I know from experience -- nagging about eating won't make it happen. You've just got to let him be responsible for himself!

I remember when my husband was in high school (we have known each other since we were 13), his mother would have a fit, cause he never seemed to be hungry. He ran Track and was active at school with choir and theater. He would get taller and taller, but not gain any weight.. She would constantly ask him what he had eaten. It really drove him crazy. He would lie to her and make up things about snacks and lunch at school.

Since she left for work earlier than when he left for school, breakfast was her biggest concern. One morning she called him and asked if he had eaten breakfast, he told her no. She said she had baked some blueberry muffins and he should have a few.. He told her he would.. She called a little later to ask if he had eaten them.. He lied and said yes. She said are you sure? He lied and said yes. She told him "I know you are lying, eat one right now.". He bit into the muffin and it had cotton balls in them! She told him not to lie about eating again if she promised not to harp on him.. He really just was not hungry. He was healthy just very thin with a small appetite.. He is now in the other direction.. loves to eat.. He could pass on some snacking and beer!

If the doctor says he is healthy, I would leave him alone.. Many young men do not develop till they are in college.. I would just make sure that what he does eat is as healthy as possible, but also food he enjoys. He is old enough to know when he is really hungry...

I haven't gone through anything like this. My girls are 4 and 2 and eat all day long! When I read your post I thought of two things.

Why don't you as a family join a gym. There are lots of gyms that not only offer equipment but offer lots of programs as well. Maybe if everyone was involved he would feel less alone.

Would he like to help you prepare meals. When we were teenagers my sister and I were responsible for preparing one meal a week. We just wrote on the grocery list what we needed and on our day we cooked.

I don't know if these things would make a difference. Like I said I'm the momma of two little, very emotionally fragile, dramatic, particular, wonderful little girls!

Good luck with your son.

How does he fair with other boys his age? Have you asked the pediatrician? Maybe he has gained his height/weight early and is just evening out now?

I would not force him to eat. Kids will eat when they are hungry.

As long as you are not worried that it's something more serious - bug/health issue/drugs/etc, then I think he is okay to eat when he's hungry. Just make sure you are making high calorie foods for him. He may just end up being very skinny (if he is? You did not put his height/weight so I'm not sure).

Sounds like he may be depressed. He may need to talk with someone. A 17 year old boy not hungry? I am not buying it.

If you are worried, can you make sure he takes a multi vitamin every day? Has he had a physical and he's not depressed or on some sort of drug or have an eating disorder? It's puzzling and I can't think of any 17 yr old boy I know who doesn't wolf down his food the minute there is any in front of him. I'd be worried too if my son were having this problem.

Do you think there is something else triggering it i.e. metabolic problem, illness, depression, school, drugs/alcohol (don't shoot me just a thought), self esteem, friends, girlfriend, etc.
If everything is ok and he is feeling fine, I'd say then let him be.
I have 2 17 yr olds, one lives with his father. I have noticed that sometimes they will eat to no end and other times just not hungry. Some days they will eat just a little here and a little there. Step back, watch, and listen. See if this is just a weird teenage stage or is there is something influencing it.

Is it possible that he is depressed? If that isn't it, sometimes kids just don't eat. I went through that with my 11 year old. For 2 years that boy would not eat. I would get so mad and eventually give him his mac n cheese or pb&j. and even then he would eat bird bites. Took him to the doctor over and over. and the doctor told me to just give him a vitamin and leave him alone. That it was normal for kids to go through a spell where they don't eat much. But that was hard for me cause you could see his bones. his 9 year old brother weighed more was bigger but now, holy cow, he eats and eats and has chosen to become an athlete doing track. Maybe just leaving him alone and trusting that he will eat when he is ready.

I replied to this, but I'm not seeing it here (internet problems.) I have Asperger Syndrom and bipolar traits and my friends who also have AS or BP all have something in common...eating or the lack thereof. I find if I am down I will eat, but if I'm doing well I'm just not hungry. I will forget to eat, not remember the last time I ate, ect. I might drink some juice and think I had a full meal. For us, a written schedule on the fridge helps. But if his dr isn't concerned, you should just lay off of it.

hi -
I hear your frustration. To me one of the important points that you made is that he "forgets to eat" This makes me wonder about a couple of things ...
1) Is he on any meds that suppress appetite?
2) Was he REALLY into that the sport that he was injured in? I wonder if he is depressed that he can no longer play in that sport?
3) (being serious here - not sarcastic). was is injury related to a muscle/joint or was it a head injury? If it was a head injury it can definitely impact a lot (depending on the area of the brain that was injured).
4) Another thought is anorexia (which DOES affect boys too).

I agree that i would talk to his pediatrician - if you have already done this maybe look in your area for someone who specializes in eating/education/ support for you all. I guess my main thing is why is he "forgetting" to eat.

one last thought - you want to watch is caloric intake and how much he is working out at the gym. obviously if you are not taking in enough calories and working out you will loose/not gain weight.

good luck!

I would say the opposite, keep working on him and reminding him to eat.

I used to eat like a horse and could finish off a whole pizza myself at the age of 12. But I also had a foot injury. I stopped exercising and stopped eating as much. In high school, I barely ate breakfast and would have a small lunch when I got home. I took a daily multivitamin. But I never grew past that.

I'm male and only 5'7". My father is 6'3". It's depressing to me that I stopped growing, but I was depressed about not being able to play sports. And we were poor, so nobody told me it was okay to keep eating. My parents never bothered enough to inquire, and I was a teenager who didn't understand.

To give you a comparison, I was eating maybe 1600 calories per day (though I never counted). Average recommended value for male teens is 2600. My friend who was a 6'10" basketball player in high school ate 8000 calories a day.

Please keep encouraging your son to eat. Proper nutrition is vital to growth.

I know you've received a lot of great advice so far. Here is my 2 cents. From your post it sounds like you are concerned about his health, otherwise I'm thinking you wouldn't be so worried. I definitely agree with the health/protein shakes. Or things like Carnation instant Breakfast. I know as a teenager i never ate breakfast and these worked for me.

I would suggest to do some research on eating disorders and the effects of not eating on the body. Sometimes it can get to an extreme where you can't actually eat anything orally any more, then they have to insert a feeding tube. Then I would sit down and scare him straight with this info. Maybe seeing how it can effect you will make him pay more attention and eat!

Anyway I'm sure you will find something that works! Maybe getting him interested in another sport or outdoor activity would help. Good luck!

Yes, it sounds like he could be depressed. Maybe he would be willing to have a talk with a counselor? Also, are the other aspects of his life status quo? Are his grades good? Doing a good job at work, etc? I think you have to look at the big picture with this. I am a very skinny woman--I forget to eat--not because I'm sad, but, because I am busy and don't think about food. I'm a focused person, maybe he is, too.

Good luck.

Is there another sport he can do? Kids need to move. It doesn't have to be a team sport. And it will encourage life long physical activity.