Stealing - Wenonah,NJ

The best thing you could do for her is if you see her take something, make her go up to the cashier with you and ask for a store manager. Make her tell the manager that she took it and have her give it back to him. You have to take advantage of kids learning lessons while they're young and there are no serious effects yet. If you wait, and just tell her to put it back, she hasn't learned the consequences yet and so will keep on trying it and before you know it, she'll be the one getting fined and in legal trouble. My daughter took a cat toy from my mom's house when she was 4, saying my mom said she didn't like the toy and had thrown it in a corner. My daughter said that it meant my mom didn't want it. I explained to her that when you take something that doesn't belong to you, it's called stealing. I made her call my mom and tell her that she stole it. She was crying hysterically the entire time, but she will NEVER do it again because she remembers that consequence.

I would definitely be stressed out over it too. I would be taking her to stores with you and keeping an eye on her for when it may happen next so you're able to get it taken care of soon. As far as the little girl's ipod, I would've made her take it to her house and tell the girl's mom that she took it. You have to really make them understand that it's wrong, and in order to do that, you have to put them into a position where they don't WANT to ever try it again.

you need to have a heart to heart talk with her about stealing and how mucg trouble she can get in. did you make her return the brush to the store and apoloize? this would hopefully embarass her enough to not do it again. I have not been in this situation but this is what i would have done.

I think you need to sit down and have a heart to heart with your children. It could be because they just don't want to hear the word no all of he time and they want what they want. However, stealing is stealing and it's not right no matter what the reason is. Unfortunately we live in a very self indulgent world and as teenagers I am sure their friends have EVERYTHING!!! and they want it too, again not an excuse I am just trying to rationalize why they would steal. If you explain to your daughters that right now money is tight right now so you have to be cautious about spending money on non essential things they may understand why you have to say no so often. Do you give them an allowance so they can buy their own things? Are they old enough to babysit so they can earn extra money for themselves and buy their own things? My son stole when he was 3. He came home from preschool with a small Mickey Mouse figure tucked in his sock. When I went to give him his bath I saw it. When I asked him he told me he just wanted to borrow it to play with it. I explained how that was not the right thing to do and he had to return it. He was HUMILIATED and asked me if he could just put it back and not say anything. I told him no. I had him apologize to his teacher and give it back. She was very kind and told him if he wanted to borrow something he had to ask and he could not just take it. I think you should have made her return it . Sometimes good old humiliation works. Letting her see the consequences of her actions. My son never stole again (well not to my knowledge anyway) If she sees she can get away with this it can become a problem.

Julie's answer was the best. It is time for action. It is time for darling daughter to be devastated by her own actions.

With the next incidence of stealing, make her confess to the powers that be and return the item. The embarrassment alone should fix this.

You have to be strong enough to follow through. I know some stores take pictures of shoplifters with the stolen items and display them. It is probably just a phase she is going through but handling this with talk alone won't work. Action is needed and you are the perfect person to help her see thus in a new light.

i used to work in a store and I had a mom come to me she had found out her child stole and said it had been an issue before and asked if I could help. Sometimes you can get the store clerks to scare the kids into not doing it again. I think its a normal thing though.

Ok, I know you are stressed in a hard financial situation, but there is no excuse for Your "husband thinks it is something not to worry about"? STEALING from stores, classmates, homes? Have you had a heart to heart with the kids about what is going on and how you and your husband are handling the situation. Have you explained what your expectations are from your children during this time? The stealing must stop now. No excuses. There are non that are acceptable.

I have been in retail for over 35 years. It is infuriating when I come face to face with shoplifters. Most of them just smile and say 'oops", "I was just hanging on to this, I was going to pay".. I have yet to hear one say, I am sorry.

I am glad that your daughter had to pay a fine, but did SHE pay it or did you and your husband pay it for her?
The way to stop this is to let your children know that you know exactly what is going on and to have them take, or give back the items they took. An ipod? A piece of jewelry? A crystal makeup brush? That is over a $100. worth of stolen merchandise that does not belong in your home. Go over a limit and it will become a felony. Since it is your home, you and your husband will be liable for all of the stolen merchandise.

Who does your husband think is going to have to pay legal fines and have to hire an attorney to get his daughters out of the lock up? You also know that if this happens at schools, they can be kicked out of the school and be sent to alternative school till they graduate?

I am sending you strength. I am sending you clarity. I know you can get a hold of all of this, because you love your children and want what is best for them.