Staying at Home VS.Working...

Updated on July 15, 2010
A.S. asks from Arlington, TX
18 answers

Hi again ladies..
Ok, so here is another questions for you mamas out there. I currently work for a local school district as a member of the support staff so right now we are on summer break. I have a 4 yr old, and a 4 month old. i was on maternity leave from the time the baby was born until summer started and am currently planning on going back to work in the fall..Here is my dilema, now that we have the baby, obviously we are going to have to put both our kids in a school/daycare and combine we will be paying a little over a 1000 a month for childcare. Honestly, i make about 400 more than that a month. Now my husband makes more money than I do, but by no means do we have oodles and oodles of money. We have insurance for the kids, but that is through my job. I have seriously been thinking about staying home with them. It dosent make sense to me, to pay so much out at childcare and bring so little in, which by the way my husband makes up for.. I don't know, i am so confused on what to do I suppose that is why I am asking you awesome ladies out there. Help, Help, Help advice is what I need...Thanks ladies.

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E.W.

answers from Dallas on

I would do anything and everything in my power to stay at home with my kiddos. I quit my job and started staying home with my daughter when she was 2 years old (now almost 4.5) and we have one on the way. We had to make a bunch of sacrifices including going down to one car for a while to get rid of a car payment and save for a cash car. It was worth every minute, I love being a SAHM and I think my daughter reaps the benefits as well!

Good luck in whatever you decide.

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A.E.

answers from Boca Raton on

Been there! I made more money staying and working out the house then I did going out and working full time! I have a home based business if you're interested. ###-###-#### A. J. Exner

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I'm going to ask you some hard questions. I do it with love. If you are able to stay home I celebrate you for that. But here are a few facts to consider.

You say that you are providing the childrens insurance? That seems pretty major. It may not make sense to only bring in $400 per month now, but those insurance benefits are going to cost another $400 at your husbands job - if available. So, your contribution to the family is actually $800.

If they have insurance at your job, they also probably have retirement benefits. Is your husbands retirement account going to be enough for both of you? If you don't pay into Social Security now, you may not be eligible to draw any when you get older.

What you make now will increase. You will get raises. Maybe even promotions and new opportunities. But you have to be in the building for any of that to happen. Are you going to go to work when the kids go to school full time? You will be 5 yrs behind everyone else that has been working. Industries change, technology changes. It will be much harder to go back to work with a 5 yr gap on your resume.

I pay $600 per month for both my children and they are well cared for. You can find more affordable care.

Like I said earlier, all out of love. You do what's going to make you and your family happy and stand by that choice. If you do stay home, I suggest taking online college courses just to stay current in your field and so when you are ready to go back to work, you have a few more feathers in your cap. Best of luck to you and your little ones.

5 moms found this helpful
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M.E.

answers from Chicago on

Is your 4 year old going to kindergarten next year? If so, that might be something to consider in terms of going back to work. If it's only a year til kindergarten, your daycare costs will be going down at that time. With the economy the way it is, if you leave a job now, there is no guarantee that you will find something again in the next couple of years. Another consideration should be the stability of your husband's job. If there is the slightest concern about it, it might be a good idea to hang on to your job. Everyone says the economy is picking up, but it sure doesn't seem to be. I work in healthcare and every week I get a call from at least one patient who is loosing their job and/or health insurance.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

A.,
We found ourselves in the same situation after i had my second child. I made a significant amount less then my husband but i covered the insurance for me and the kids. Our insurance was TOO good and too inexpensive for me to quit working. Had I quit working it would have cost us the same, if not more for insurance as it would have for daycare. Due to this realization, we decided it would be better and more economical for me to continue working full time and take the significant hit financially for day care. If your husband has insurance through his work and it would be affordable for you to quit working, then you would need to evaluate your feelings about staying home with your children 24/7. It seems like an amazing opportunity to stay with the kids, but some people are not cut out for being at home all the time. I wish you the best when making this decision. It is not an easy one to make.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's totally up to you, but if it were me it would depend on whether or not you could stay home and still afford insurance either from your hubby's job or an outside source somehow. Keep in mind that if you stay home, you will likely save on more than daycare: gas, clothing, lunches out if you do that sort of thing, etc). However, you may be losing if you'll have to pay a lot more of insurance. Also, it depends on if you ever plan on getting back into the workforce. It's hard to get back in once you leave. For us, we found that we just couldn't afford for me to stay home due to student loans and the fact that we can't just return my car and nix the car payment. Besides, since we where nothing is walking distance, my hubby thought I needed a car in case of emergency even if I did stay at home.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hmmmm.....I guess it depends. Are you the type of person who just can't imagine NOT working, no matter the financial equation?
Do you think you will spend more money being out in the workforce than $400/month? (lunches, extra gas, clothing, etc)
Yes, your husband brings home more than the childcare, but to what end? It still really boils down to an extra $400 + healthcare per month right?
Have you looked into health care options? Can your hubby add them to his? Does he even have a plan available? Can you get into a plan for less than what you will be losing?
Do you want to stay at home with your kids? Would being home allow you to save more than $400/month? (i.e. more couponing, more homemade meals, less expenses) Can/will your hubby pick up some OT to fill the gap?
Generally speaking, it's usually true that it pays for the mom to work only if she brings home a significant paycheck. But a lot of moms prefer to work outside the home...
Can you work PT and keep the health care?
I think only you can really answer that question. Crunch the numbers and listen to your gut is my best advice. Good luck!

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

If you can afford to get insurance and do w/o the 400.00 while living on your husband's salary - I say stay home. But, if it is the only way to get affordable insurance, I would say keep working. Put pencil to paper, do the research on insurance cost and you will have a better answer to your question.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Lubbock on

I've been having this same dilemma. Would like to see advice you were given.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

it isnt worth it to work full time for make $400 a month.. So basicaly you will make $100 per week so $2.50 an hour!! ??? is that worth the stress and strain of getting everyone out the doorr every morning?

I quit when my second child was born.. not for finances.. as I did make enough money to make it worth it to work.. but I just didnt want to pay someone else to take care of my kids .. when I wanted to do it..

If you can find insurance -- I say quit your job and stay home for 2-3 years . till one child is in school.. I went back part time when my kids were 2 and 3..

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

Personally I pay upwards of $1500 a month for both my boys to go to school/daycare and I only make enough to cover our family insurance, school, gas, and toll tag for my vehicle. I do this so that my boys can make friends and can learn more than I could teach them at home, plus the adult interaction is good for a momma. Good Luck with which ever decision you make for your family.

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K.R.

answers from Dallas on

I think the biggest issue for you to consider is the insurance. You have to have insurance. See if that can be obtained through your husbands job or if you can afford to get insurance elsewhere without your income. Other than that, you seem to want to be with your kids. When my kids were young I quit my job to stay home with them because my income did not justify the cost of daycare plus the benefit of me being with them. There is no substitute for mom, however I understand that staying home isn't for everyone. As far as being out of the workforce for a while, there are things you can do to keep up with technology. I was out of the workforce for 7 years and during that time we went from a few companies using PC's to everyone using them. So I got a computer and taught myself to use it. I took continuing ed classes through MISD to learn how to use Excel & Word. Then when I did go back to work, the first year was not the greatest but I had my foot back in the door. After a year I got on at my current company and have been here for 12 years and don't plan to go anywhere. As far as a gap on your resume, the way I explained mine in interviews was "I was fortunate to be able to be home with my children during their pre-school years". No one thought that was a mark against me. Also, during the time that I was home with them, I took care of a little boy who was a friends son and made a little extra money to help out. I also worked at a church that a friend went to. I took care of the yourger kids during their Wednesday evening program. So my girls had a lot of interaction with other kids and I made enough money each fall to take care of Christmas and in the spring I made enough to pay for our summer vacation. You currently work for a school district and you probably would not have any trouble getting back into that when your kids do go to school. So my point is that it is possible to stay home and end up having the best of both worlds. Kids grow up so fast - those years before they go to school fly by. If you can do it, go for it and enjoy every moment.

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J.G.

answers from Abilene on

A. my husband & I works a home based business. It wouldn't cost you anything to give him a call and he could give you some information to check out. You would have time before school starts back up.His name is Milton Garrett you can call him at ###-###-####.You are under no comitment or cost to call him.
Thank you and have a blessed day .
J. G

T.S.

answers from Chicago on

A.,

It really comes down to what is important to you. While money is almost as important as oxygen, there are ways you can learn to live with less.

Sit down and write out the pros and cons. Obviously see which outweighs the other. If you are the type of person that needs to work, even part-time for mental stability, than do that. If you are so set on being home to raise your kids, than do that. Look within you heart... everything else will fall into place once you have made the decision. Where there is a will, there is always a way... but you have to commit to the decision you make first.

On a personal note, I am someone that needs to work, mainly for adult interaction and feeling of accomplishment outside of being a mom & wife. However, I work part-time on my own schedule and am home with the kids all day. It truly is the best of both worlds and I can't imagine not being here for all those moments that go by so quickly.

You know what is important to you. Ask God to guide you and good luck with your decision!

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L.D.

answers from Albany on

My husband laughs that I have college degrees yet my preferance is to stay home with our children. Neither one of us would have it any other way though...unless I could make more money and then HE could stay home.

My children have always had plenty of social interaction beyond just myself, I have taught them their ABC's, numbers, colors, shapes, etc, plus been there for their firsts. While making sure the children have social interaction, it means *I* am having adult social interaction as well.

Personally, I would be trying to make it work so I could stay home. Have you thought about getting into a business for yourself? I just became a health coach and already have earned a commission check in my first week. Yes it isn't going to pay off our house tomorrow, but I definitely feel like I am on the right road, plus I am helping people become healthy in the process.

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

If you are a woman of faith, may I suggest that you ask God to show you what path you should take. If it's His will that you stay at home, He will provide ways for you to make it work out. Trust in Him!! Another word of advice in the form of a question: will you look back on your life and smile when you think about your time spent as a member of support staff or will you look back and wish you had spent more time with your kids when they were growing up?? ;)

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E.C.

answers from Fayetteville on

I would stay home thats alot to pay for childcare and only bring home 400 plus you will get to be home with your children that is awesome i wish i could stay home!! if i were you i would just try and cut back on some stuff and stay home!

Man where do you ladies live i only pay 280.00 a month in childcare!

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K.F.

answers from Dallas on

I glanced over the other answers and I didn't see a similar one so i wanted to throw in my 2 cents. Several ladies have mentioned it's about what it right for YOU and I agree wholeheartedly. BUT, since you bring it up I think that it is something you want to do and if you want to do it, I think it's worth the sacrifices. My children have not suffered socially in the least and I have enjoyed spending more time with them.

So, here's how it worked for me. I made significantly more than daycare costs for our family, but we moved just far enough out from my job that my husband agreed to let me try staying at home. The one major difference is that it was his job that carried our insurance so that was never a consideration for us. However, although our lifestyle changed when I quit, our standard of living did not. I started cooking more from scratch, had more time to watch our pennies, etc and without a whole lot of extra effort it was fairly easy to live on less. You'll save money on gas, work clothing, lunches, etc. so it is my opinion that with a little careful planning you can easily make it work if you can figure out the insurance. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!!

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