Staying at Home or Working??

I am a stay at home mother and can't imagine working after all that my daughter and I do throughout the day. If you can afford to stay home then I feel that it is a great decision. We only get one life to live and for us to be so lucky to have children, why not spend it with the ones we love the most. N. K

Lisa,
I have a degree and worked for the Corp world until my son was 7 and I feel like I missed so much. I only regret not leaving the Corp world sooner. I do have to say I started missing other women to talk to as well as bring home some of my own money. I have started my own business and that has helped me to make my own schedule, bring my own money, talk and meet other women.

Lisa,
It's always a hard decision to make - stay home or work... especially I would imagine if you've worked somewhere for 16 years! But, you have to do what feels right for you. I have been a stay-at-home Mom since my littlest guy was born (he's now 9 months). My oldest is a little over 2 years so they are about the same distance apart as your little ones. If you ever want to talk, I'm here. I don't have any regrets about staying home with my boys because I know that what I'm doing is very important - I am giving them a solid foundation to stand on in the future. However, there are days when I long for the "adult world." I long for the sense of accomplishment that I used to get at the end of the day when I completed my job to the best of my ability and I long for the adult conversations. But, I know that I will be involved in all of that again soon enough once my boys are in school and like you said they grow so fast! Just remember that there is good and bad with everything - you maybe won't always feel thrilled with your decision, but on the days when you feel as though there is no place in the world you would rather be than right there in that moment with your beautiful children, it is worth it. Feel confident in the decision you are making and plow forward! Life is good and your children make it better! Good luck with everything!
K. :)

I love being home w/ my kids. Im always available for them at all times. But i do run a daycare out of my home. Just remember that if it bothers u that u dont make any of the money u can always do little things. Craft things to sell on ebay or craigslist, Avon, or something along those lines. I honestly cant be home and not make any money so this was a great way to have the best of both worlds in my opinon. But i do love being home w/ my kids.Not only that but when u have to take them to appts. u dont have to ASK for time off. U r your own boss. I think the response u have received is wonderful. It is a rewarding job most of the time, others it is just frustrating. When your child is up all night from beng sick u dont have to worry about going to work in the morning and that makes u a little more patient because u dont sit there and say i have to be up in such and such hrs. i know im rabbling on but there are so many pros compared to the cons. its great. Hope that helps and good luck w/ it all. U wont miss out now. Thats the wonderful part.

I am a lot different then most moms. I had my first child as a surprise and quit college married his father and my husband went into the military. I stayed at home because I would have been mostly working just to pay for day care. I don't regret my decision to stay home, but now I have a 1 year old daughter and a 7 year old son. I have been married for almost 7 years and I really want to get back to my dreams and goals. I am starting college again and as soon as I am done I plan on going to work. Basically you have to think about what is best for your family and then think about how you are going to feel when your kids are in school. Are you still going to want to be a stay at home mom or are you going to want to go back to work? I am very happy to have not missed any of their firsts but I missed out on some of my life. I decided that what was best for my kids is for me to prove to myself and them that I am an individual and that I should be happy and make my dreams come true. We are in completely different places in our life and I think that if you feel that you are missing out than it might be best for you to stay home. Just consider that you might be missing out on yourself when you do stay home. It's a very personal decision, I just wanted to give you something to think about.

I think it is great that you can stay home. Just an FYI- your employer may be entitled to repayment for your maternity leave benefits and medical or other benefits you receive if you do not return. Just so you can be prepared...

Hi Lisa -
I quit my job after I had my first and only child. I had worked years going to school obtaining an advanced degree to try to get where I did in the corporate world (used to work for Ford).
I went back for a little while but then ended up quitting a few months later...feeling just like you said - I was missing everything!
Prior to quitting, I went back and forth and back and forth on this decision. It drove my husband crazy! I can tell you from my experience that I have NEVER looked back on it once. I have met so many other moms in my same situation and feel like I have really been able to be there for my son in ways that I would have not been if I kept working.
Some times our money is a bit tight but we accept that this is what we have chosen and it is best for our family. My husband travels frequently for his job and has been really able to commit to his career since I left so it made sense for us. Also, the job I left was not a great job for a mom..it was demanding and had very long hours so in some ways it was easy to walk away.
If you are even having thoughts that you want to stay home, I can assure you that you will very likley enjoy every minute of it. Also, if it does not work out, you can always go back. I am only going to do this for a couple of years and then, I will have the rest of my life to work!
Best of luck but I can assure you that you will do great!

It's the best thing you could do for your kids!! They need you. They grow up sooooo quickly and too soon the childhood moments will be gone. So just ask yourself, do you want to enjoy those moments or do you want someone else to tell you about them? I don't think you'll regret staying home. It's the best decision I ever made. Yes, there are stressful, tiring days, but in the end it is so worth it! Seeing their many firsts, their creativity, getting their hugs and cuddles, kissing their boo-boos, just watching their little minds and bodies work and grow. It's all so amazing. Enjoy staying home...it's the best job anyone could have!

I have never regretted my decision to be a stay-at-home mom. I was never career oriented anyway. The only challenge that I have is finding social interaction. All of my friends work and aren't available during the day. I do take my little one for a play date at least once a week which gives us much needed interaction with others.
With the cost of childcare and gas, it is often times a much more economically sound decision to stay home with your children. And who better to raise them than their own mother.

Of course, if it doesn't work out for you, you can always return to the workforce. It isn't like the decision has to be final or you can't change your mind later.

Enjoy your children while you can. They'll be grown and gone before you know it.

No regrets here! I can't imagine it any other way. I will say that I encourage you to make a life around being at home. Which means finding other at home moms. Check out the MOMS Club(www.MOMSClub.org). It is a group of at-home moms who do things during the day, from playgroups to field trips, etc. It has made a huge difference for me and both my daughter and I have made a litl of great friends. There are a lot of chapters in the area. If you don't see one listed on the website for your area, contact them. I know mine is not listed yet. There are new chapters startig everyday. Good luck and enjoy!

I think that it is so wonderful that you have that option. Some days it's hard being at home all day, but not one time have I thought "I would rather be working right now". I think once we make the decision to have children it is not about us (selfishly) anymore. But I also feel that God created us all different. My sister works full time and loves it. Don't let yourself feel guilty either way. I would just try to not have them in daycare. Thru the winter you can take them to the childrens museam, or put the 20 month old in gymnastics, just to get out. (plus it's so fun for them, too!!) And if you feel that things will be tight financially and that stresses you out...email me back. :) I have the answer for that.

Lisa,

As a stay at home mom I have not had any regrets. For me personally, I feel that being home with my kids at their young ages, is the most important job I can do. But it is a personal decision that you have to be happy with. There was an "adjustment" time that I went through after having my first child and leaving my full-time job. Sometimes I'd feel a little isolated or just missing the "work gossip". But now I have a large circle of friends that stay home with their kids too and it makes a great support system. It just comes down to what are the most important things to you, for you and your family.

Good luck! :)

Hi Lisa,
I worked the 9 to 5 for years and decided to stay at home with our little one. I love it. However, I had started to run out of things to talk about since baby was my new full time job. It was baby this, and baby that, and baby, baby, baby... If you would have talked to me you may have thought "This lady needs to get out more" which would have been exactly how I felt. So I took a part time position in retail opposite of my husband's shift so that we wouldn't have to worry about day care. I only work a couple days each week. Daddy and baby get some boy time together, & I get a break from full time Mommy.

Hi Lisa -

I am a SAHM to my little guy and I would not trade it for the world! I, like you, went back and forth deciding what to do. I invested a lot of time and effort into my education and career (though not as much as you) and initially I didn't want to walk away. The day my son was born, there was no question in mind...I was staying home! I am so glad I made that choice, especially since my little guy had needed extra love and attention and had feeding issues, reflux etc. I always would have wondered if he was getting all he needed if my husband nad I were both working.

Don't get me worng, I don't think there is anything worng with working Moms at all...I give them a lot of credit. I also know that staying home full tiem is the best, but hardest job I have ever had. It is almost like you know too much about what is going on!! I have joined a few things, like Gymboree, and it is great for both he and I. He sees other kids/faces and I can chat with other Moms in person!

They do grow up so fast, so if you are able to stay home, by all means jump at the chance! You can always go back to work if you feel you made the wrong choice...or when your kids are in school!

Congrats and good luck.

I am very fortunate to work from home. My babies go to daycare 2 days a week just to give me a break. I love being home with them. Whenever I think about being back in the corporate world, I think about all the things I haven't missed, my son's first steps, i know exactly when they started to roll over, and of course their first word... hmmmmm I was here every moment. Both of my kids are very independent and there will come a day when I won't be able to hug them because they'll be grown up. So if your able to stay home enjoy it.Good luck

Lisa-

Take the opportunity and run with it! I wish so much that I could stay home with my little ones, but financially we just can't. Luckily, my husband and I are able to work opposite shifts, so he can tell me every little detail while I am gone, but I truly wish that I was there experiencing it for myself. Enjoy it, I am sure that you won't regret it!

Lisa I applaud you for staying home with your children. You are correct they grow up so fast. I am a stay at home mother as well. I been home with my children now for 8 yrs. I left a nice paying job so I could be home with my first child when he entered kindergarden and to stay at home with my 2nd child. I have no regrets. My children now are 12, 8 & 3 and I think they really enjoy me being home to fullfill everything they need during those important years.

Congratulations! Being a SAHM is the best thing in the world! I worked a few days a week after my daughter was born, then our babysitter (My best Friend - like a sister) got a real job and I refused to put her in daycare. I worked from the time she was 2.5 months until she was 8.5 months and I felt like I missed so much. Now that I am home, I cherish every little new thing that she does. It is so much fun. The one thing that I can suggest to you is to find a Mommy's group in your area. You can visit with the other Moms and your kids can have playmates. It helps you keep your sanity and get out a bit.

Good Luck to you and remember to enjoy every little minute. Like you said yourself, they grow up so fast!

Hi Lisa, Looks like you have lots of encouragement. Here's some more. I worked for 11 years and went right back to work after my first son was born(he's 13 yrs old now). Be aware, staying home is much harder than working. I have a 2 yr old and an infant and I wouldn't leave them and go back to work for anything, but I do think that it is harder work than going to a job. The best part is not being on someone elses schedule. Find a support group, I also joinged International MOM's Club they have been my life savers. Join a playgroup (about the only way to really meet some of the other Mom's). This is the most rewarding and frustrating job that I have ever done. There are days that you just want to pull your hair out, and then they smile at you or roll over for the first time. You've made a great choice! Raising good human beings is the highest calling.

Hi Lisa,
You have gotten so great responses. It is wonderful and challenging to stay at home. The thing I'm having a hard time with now is that 2 of my kids are in school and the other is starting pre-school this fall. I want to start working more but I am a hairstylist and you do not build up a clientele over night. So I guess what I am saying is look at how easy it will be for you to return in your proffession.
Good Luck
Jackie

I...I...I...I...I... What about your children? What's best for your children? I am not the popular opinion here, I know. I don't understand why people bring children into the world and six weeks later plop them into a daycare for 40+ hours a week so that someone working for $7.50 an hour can raise them with THEIR morals (what morals?) If you don't want to be surprised at the things they say or the things they do when they're older, then you must be the major influence on your children and raise them! Do you think that your child will grow up and think, hmmm I really wish my mom would have worked full time or part time so I could spend my days with someone who really didn't have a vested interest in me.... NO!
Sorry! Just my opinion. And that's what you asked for, right?

I think you are making the best decision you could ever make. You will never get the time back with your kids. I spent last year at home with my son and loved every moment. I am returning to work this fall, and I am sad, but my husband is going to stay home now. My only wish is that I wish I could stay longer. I have no regrets about it, my son and I have such a strong bond, your kids are only little once, work will always be there. Enjoy being with your kids!

It was the best thing I ever did. I worked for 10 years then had my first child. I didn't want to quit so I went part-time. A year later I had our second and decided not to go back to work. It was very dificult at first. I thought I had lost my identity but you get into your own groove and I wouldn't change it for the world now. My boys are now 5 and 7 and I get to see them do everything!! I would highly recommend it if you can!

I went back to work after my first daughter was born and I just plain regretted it. it seemed like i missed everything. Since I've had my son I quit work altogether and I just love it. No regrets at all. Once he starts school I may think about going back to work, but right now, both of my children LOVE having me home. Our bond is sooo much closer.
M.

Hi~
It's tough, especially if you like your job. I was SOO lucky to be able to go back to work 2 days/week and keep that schedule as my children were born. It is just enough time to keep my nursing skills up and adds a little income, plus I really do love my job. The days I stay home are much harder than the days I work and it is so easy to become isolated so get out there with your kids and join some groups! I am also very blessed to have a (sort of) relative who runs a licensed daycare. My sons' cousins are there so it is really good for them (and it gives mommy a break). I never regret going part time. Being home with my kids is so important...I had them, I should raise them! The past few years have gone so fast, I can't imagine all I would have missed! Good for you!
And you can always find somebody on here to talk to!! :)
~L.