Stay with Him? or Leave!

His income shouldn't have anything to do with your health plan. When a question says 'household income' it means family/marriage, etc. Not your roomate.

M.

My girl friend was in a similar situation,except she doesn't have any health issues. I'm would like to give you the same advice I gave her. Although you might feel scared and uncertain about the future, GET OUT OF THAT SITUATION FOR YOUR CHILDREN'S SAKE! They might be young, be you'll be amazed of things children understand and remember. Exhaust every resource, assistant progam, and funds organization available to you. Turn to your family and friends for support, and find out if there's any way you can work from home(assuming your disabled)Online telemaketing and sales, childcare,etc. DON"T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. It's not going to happen over night, so don't be discouraged. My girl friend has her own place now. it's small, but it's HER home, she has peace ,and her 5 CHILDREN are doing wonderful. God Bless You

Out of curiosity-have you spoken with a medical malpractice attorney? You have suffered a life changing injury and could have a major claim. And I am sure you could get someone to take you on a contingency basis if you cannot afford to pay for one and you have a valid case.

You are divorced. You are having problems. You do not like this man. And you are not living there for too many financial reasons if he isn't giving you money. So basically you have a place to (Not) sleep, a place to keep the rain out of your eyes and your children live there. I am trying to understand how the epidural injection injury relates to all of this. Are you wheelchair bound? If so then you can call your state to help with special needs. If you can however do all of the other things then I sadly, and you said you were divorced, find a place to live and go. I did it. Two kids, and left. Got remarried eventually. Was it easy-NO. While i was getting married my ex wouldn't release any money and I had to pave my own way. If you can do all of these things you can get an apartment, you can get a job, a roomate, several if need be for awhile, and if jobs outside are difficult you can babysit, work part time shifts, work in daycares, etc. bring your children.
I am thinking you are very, very depressed and cannot fathom how you can do it. So I say, yes you can! You are doing everything anyway without his help so how does him being there add to anything? Time to fly my dear, time to fly!!!

You go to a lawyer and sue this PIG for child support and alimony and you move his sancitimonius butt out of your house.

I'm sorry for your situation. Many people do not move apart out of bad relationships due to cost. And many people are in financial ruin and bad health because of the health care system here.

If your ex is a bad person, or even just not super wealthy, then it makes sense he is not paying your huge medical bills out of his pocket. And even if he earns enough to buy private insurance under which you would be covered, you're not married, so he couldn't cover you anyway?

Sounds like moving out is the best thing to do if there is a way. Talk to a free lawyer and see what your rights are as a divorced mother of his kids who he is not caring for other than paying his own mortgage and letting you crash there in exchange for all the work. He may have to support you if you move out and you are caring for the kids. You'll still be up a creek for medical bills, but that's no different living with him or separately.

We paid all of our delivery bills out of pocket-we're right in that limbo where we earn to much for aid, but not enough for private insurance-and pregnancy is a pre-exisitng condition blah blah so we couldn't buy any when I found out I was pregnant. When some emergency expenses came into play and made the bills ENORMOUS the social worker we tried to apply to said, "Too bad you're married. If you were single you'd be covered". Yet another disadvantage to being a working married American....but anyway, you should be able to qualify for aid if you are not married, are broke, and have medical issues. I say that loosely, because it seems virtually impossible to actually qualify for stuff when you really try, but have you tried everything?

And yes, if you can possibly support yourself or stay with anyone else, you should. You're basically a kept slave with no benefits at this point, and you and the kids will never be able to replace him if you're stuck there.

Find out your rights. I hope you get some suggestions here, I'm so sorry to hear this.

Also, don't do any of his bills, shopping, meals, anything. Only take care of the kids. I know it's hard if he's verbally abusive, but really, he's not taking care of you, you don't need to take care of him. He'd have to pay a nanny a lot of money to do what you're doing for his kids if you were gone.

You have allowed him to take advantage of you. You are just a roommate at this point, you should not be playing house like you are still married. Don't do anything except for you and your kids - do nothing for him. Don't cook for him, don't do his laundry, clean only the areas you use. Since you aren't bringing in the income, let him write the bills. When you shop, shop only for you and the kids.

You are divorced. His income does not matter when you are applying for health plans - do not list it or mention it, it simply is does not apply.

You don't mention your family. Can you go stay with family? You will have to make that scary step of moving out on your own at some point.

You are divorced & the Oregon Health Plan says you don't qualify, I don't understand, his income should not matter, shouldn't even be mentioned. If it's your house change the locks & kick him out (Lowes/Home Depot). If it's his house stop doing things for him. Have dinner before he gets home & make sure there are no leftovers for him to heat up. Don't do his laundry. Don't clean his areas only what you & kids use. Don't pay his bills only those that help you & kids. Why don't you get child & spousal support? Live in helps gets paid for taking care of household & childcare (a lot). Does he give you money for food if not put locks on fridge freezer & cabinets. Do you both own the house? Go back to court get a decree that it must be sold. When did you get divorced? You might have to wait three years until your youngest is in school full time, in the mean time make plans & take as much action as you possibly can. Rome wasn't built in a day. Go to SparkePeople.com for Healthy Reflections.

It doesn't matter how much money your EX husband makes because he is your EX!!!!!! Now go reapply for SSI. There is no reason why you shouldn't get it!!!!!

The only reason I can see for the State saying you make too much, is if you are claiming to be married on your ex-husband's medical...which is kind of illegal. Sorry, but that's what I'm gathering. If I'm wrong, I apologize. If you have a co-pay that suggests some sort of medical is in play. So I'm a little lost.

But like everyone else has said, leave. I know it's easier said than done, but it's really what you need. I think you already know that, or you wouldn't ask. Sometimes, we know what's best, but fear holds us back.

Sounds like you should leave him but you need a way to take care of you and the kids first.