Starting Kindergarten All Day How to Explain to Child

S.,

It is scary when one of your children are starting school. You should talk to the school about how they have things set up. When my kids were in school the kindegarteners had their own bathrooms and the older kids weren't allowed to use them.

It's hard for them to "get it" but you HAVE to encourage your son to grasp life. We should try our best not to put our "fears" into our kids that aren't necessary things for them to worry about. You know the saying "most things we worry about never come to pass". So try your best to educate but not intimidate him about school. All kids are a little aprehensive going to a new place and not knowing anyone. But it's our job to help are children to be ready for things to come in life.

My boys are older now but I found out like in 2nd grade that one of them never used catsup at school because he couldn't open the packet. :) How funny. So I taught him how so he could have catsup.

As for the bathroom. Just tell him to do the best job he can to clean up and wash his hands. I told my boys if they ever had an accident go quietly to the teacher and ask to go to the office and the office will call me.

And you know the bullying thing you can't cover every challenge that will come up. The teacher and school should be your support and I took my concerns to the priciple and teacher. They were great.

My final advice sit with your son when he comes home and chat over a snack. It's a lovely habit that you will treasure as they grow older. I have friends that say their sons don't hardly talk to them at all. I ask questions. Alot of questions. And they answer them. That's the only way you'll know what's going on...really. Ask questions that don't always get answered with yes or no. Like "what was your favorite part of today? What was the worst part?"

The first day I had my sons so excited about riding the bus and going to school. that they rode the bus and I followed in the car and then walked them into their class ... so sad for me - they were fine. They loved school. I cried on the way home. It's the beginning of the separation... I thank the Good Lord that He gives us 18ish years to get a grasp on the "letting go" process. He'll be fine Love him, and Pray for him every day.

L.

S....you are probably more scared and nervous that your little fellow is!! You just need to start telling him a few of the things about kindergarten (don't overwhelm him!!!) and present them as really exciting adventures!! Tell him about all the fun he is going to have, eating lunch with his friends, making NEW friends, riding the bus to school each day. Tell him how he is going to just LOVE his teacher, maybe help him come up with something really cute and personal to give to his teacher on his first day of school. Maybe you can let him decorate a gift bag and then let him help you pick out a couple of gifts cards from McDonalds, a School Supply shop, someplace that would be useful for her.
Just be positive, try to not let him see how nervous and apprehensive you are... your attitude is going to go a long way towards influencing HIS attitude!!!
R. Ann

OK, Mom,.....RELAX!!

Why are you sooo stressed over this? Please take a deep breath, say a prayer, & let it go! You've done your job, now it's time to let the school do theirs....& they do know how to do this! I wish you Peace.

I got a chuckle out of your post, kids are very resilient, they roll with everything! The best thing you can do during his school years is to get on the PTA board and volunteer for things at the school. Your son will know that you will hear about everything that happens at the school and you will feel more comfortable knowing the teachers in a more intimate way. I was a stay at home mom and regret that I didn't get involved in this way until my kids were in High School, I didn't understand how that would help me keep more informed about what was going on at the school. That said, don't sweat it he will love having friends, eating with other kids will be an adventure, most Kindergarten's now have restrooms in the room or at least they are close to the bathrooms. Bullies are everywhere I think it's because so many kids are being raised in groups instead of at home with a parent, things are not seen when they are in groups, all you can do is to deal with things as they come. Ask questions when he gets home, not how was your day, but whats the first thing you did this morning, what was for lunch, who did you sit with, was that fun? Things he has to talk to you about. Hope this helps with your mommy fears, things will be great!

S.,
I do not know how they do it there but where I am at they let the ones new to Kindergarten attend summer school. My summer school went from June 1 to June 26 this year. It is all day. Last summer when my daughter went to summer school all they did was play and get to learn some of the rules. They did some work but the goal was for the kids to get to know the teacher and the teacher to know the kids.
I know that at my daughters school they have a program so that there is no bulling. They truly watch it. I did have to worry about my daughter eating lunch because they only get 20 min. to eat and she was used to 30 to 40 min. to eat. As for the bathroom there are several times that they have bathroom breaks and her teacher was very good about letting them go if they needed to. I always kept an extra pair of clothes in her back pack just incase she needed them. She did have one accident toward the begining of the year.
However I do know that my step sister who is in a different school district has to pay for her children to attend summer school if they do not need it. As well as they have to provide transportation and it was for only a half day.
Just my thoughts on what might help.
Also if they have any open house nights or a tour of the school attend those so that you can become familar with the school and help your son to as well.
Good luck.
L.

This is a hard transition for most parents. believe me he will now gain independence, but the teachers guide the children to lunch and to bathrooms and they even speak about bulling and how much trouble you can get into for being one. I would take him to school for a tour and perhaps take him to the library and sit down with him and a few books that explain kindergarten.

Does he like going to preschool. My daughter was the same went 3 days a week for 4 hours of preschool and them kindergarten was full time. Just let him know that school will be all day, that he will make new friends, and have alot of fun. It might be tought the at first but he will get used to it. I think that it was harder on me than it was for her I was a sahm also. She loved it and couldn't wait to go. I know that boys are different but I think that he will be fine.

Hi S.,
Kids do not know the concept of time as we do. If your child did fine in pre-school, even though it was just for a few hours, you really shouldn't have any problems. The biggest challenge with young children and new schools is being introduced to other children. If they've never been around other children before, it is very hard to get used to b/c it is the unknown. However your child has already experienced playing with other children, so it should be fine. At very first they will go through a phase however b/c of the change, this is only due to the unknown as well. The child is not sure as to what is going on, all they know is that something just changed so spontaneously, and it's NEW, they're not quite sure how to handle this and become scared. It will only last for a bit until they become familiar with their new surroundings, and is totally normal. Get your child all excited before school, speak of the new friends, and how much fun it is going to be, and speak as if your a 5 year old who just discovered santa! I know it sounds silly, but if mommy's excited about something, 9 times out of 10 the child will be too. Make the morning goodbyes short and sweet, do not linger, no matter how much they might cry. the more you linger the more they will cry. You want to make a concrete short good bye routine...get on their level, give them huge hug and kiss, tell them you will be right back to pick them up (remember they do not have a concept of time length), and then walk out of the door. it also helps to get them involved in playing with a toy prior to leave them as to distract them. Whatever you do, once you leave, do just that, leave. Do not turn back around to comfort them, b/c that teaches them that if they through a fit you will return, and the fits will get stronger, louder, and longer each time. It was the hardest heartbreaking experience I had when my son would cry as I left, but it had to be done, and I had to remind myself that his young little mind will not remember this, nor will it harm him. no more than 5 minutes after you leave, they are distracted by toys and friends, and totally forget that mommy left in the first place, lol. As for napping, they will get used to their own schedule. Have them pic out a favorite stuffed animal or security blanket to take with them especially for nap time, it helps comfort them. I hope this helps some, I wish you the best of luck!

oh, one more thing...if you are able to go half of the day with your child for the first couple of days, that helps as well. You can just hang out with them, play with them, anything, just to get them used to their new surroundings and let them know that this is a safe place. Any reputable school will allow this, if they do not, I would suggest a new one immediately.

Love
T.

Hi S., I just went though all that!! My 2 girls started school a yaer a part. My oldest I didn't worry as much about since she was the oldest in the class (she has an August b-day) but my little one, who just finished kindergarten I worried myself sick over the same things that you did (the older one I had diffrent worries). But the teachers have done all this before so they help them get through the day. I don't know what school you'll go to but I know that our school has a day just for kindergarteners to come to school, meet their teacher and see the school. So you can show your son were everything is, plus you can talk to the teacher and tell her your worries. And I know that with my kids, the first day of kindergarten they spent halp the day just showing the kids what to do and where to go. They went to the lunch room and practiced getting lunch, before lunch time and where the potties where and all that good stuff. Just make sure that you talk to the teachers as much as possible through the year. I was so happy that I did that. My oldest did have problems with a bully and wouldn't say anything to us. But we talked at least once a week and she let us know what was going on. And I was able to make sure that my girl was not in the same class as that boy for 1st grade. That teacher will be your life line, talk to her a lot!! Good luck!

First of all breathe...this is a big emotional step for you too. There should be a meet & greet or round-up day where you will go in a day or two before school starts and meet the teacher, tour the classroom (learn where the bathroom & lunchroom are - important for you AND your child), learn where his cubby will be and even where he will sit. It's also probable that he will meet some of his other classmates as well. I know our local schools also encourage parents to come anytime and share lunch time with their children. I don't make a practice of it everyday or even every week but drop in on occasion as a special surprise.

Chances are he doesn't "get" that he is going to school a whole day. The fact of the matter is kids at this age have absolutely no concept of time and how long something is...if you woke him up tomorrow and said, "this is what time you will go to school" and then proceeded to tell him throughout the day when lunch would be and when you would pick him up you would probably freak him out. A full day IS a long day for them, but they are kept constantly busy and will also get a rest time sometime after lunch where he may or may not nap but will at least get quiet time. If he's coming home dragging, then you know he will have to be in bed by 7 or 8 to be able to function the next day...

The best thing you can do for him is make going to school exciting! Make buying those school supplies an adventure! Let him pick whatever backpack/lunchbox he wants. Let HIM pick out all the things on the list and put them into the cart so he's taking ownership of his material for school (it will help get him excited about it). Ask him enthusiastically everyday about what he did or learned at school. Make opening his backpack at night an event (because you can't WAIT to see what he's done!!!) You can also volunteer at the school in his classroom as an aide or be a guest reader...or a million other things where he could see you occasionally at school. My kids take great pride knowing that I am volunteering at school and look forward to the days that I am there so they can show me off to their friends or just wave "hi". I love it because I know this is something that isn't going to last very long...so I'm stocking up now for all those years they won't want anything to do with me! LOL...

It's also important to develop a good relationship with his teacher. I had a GREAT relationship with my son's preschool teacher but his Kindergarten teacher was rotten so we ended up transferring schools mid-year because we tried everything we could think of to open the lines of communication and she refused...all you can do is prepare yourselves as best you can and have faith. As for the bullies, every school has one...for that matter, every school as impolite children too. Arm your child with "what if" scenarios...ask him what he would do if xxx happened. How would he handle it? Being forewarned is being forearmed and he will be better able to handle a situation. He also needs to know when to alert the teacher when there is a problem...

Bottom line - We all want our kids to have the best school years and education but the facts are, they will take their lumps just as we did. We may prevent the same thing that happened to us happening to them but invariably something else will happen that will be just as traumatic. We aren't going to be able to shelter them their entire lives but we can arm them with the tools they need to survive. My son didn't like switching schools but we did it because it was in his best interest academically. After 2 1/2 months of "I hate my new school" he finally accepted it but all the while he was excelling in ways he never was in public school. We had long conversations about the reason why we switched schools and he understands it wasn't to punish him but because we really thought it was in his best interest and he'd do better at the new school (we went from 23:1 ratio to 13:1 and from the bottom of the class to nearly the top of the class). Prepare them, be interested, and be alert and active in his education. Make homework or "practice" a ritual when he gets home (but don't forget the cookies and conversation). Bottom line, as long as he knows you have his back, he'll be fine.