Spouse with PTSD

I am going through PTSD with my husband. He was in Vietnam and it is very rough. He goes to succesions with other men that went to vietnam. He has bad dreams evewry night. You wish you could make it better,but you can't. I have 3 girls that are married. We have 8 grandkids and I think that kind of help him sometimes. We found out 4 years ago that He has PTSD and other things. Hope we can help each other.

There is a specific therapy called EMDR for PTSD that has proven to be very helpful in the research on this subject. You might call his insurance company and see if there are any providers in your area that do this type of therapy. I also agree with the vitamins and minerals and trying neurotherapy. Is there a group of ex-cops? Or maybe he could start one. These can all be helpful. Don't give up. There are many options to try. Some people self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. I would discourage that. God bless.

Dear N.

I'm sure you've heard this before - life isn't fair. It is a series of trials and tribulations, but we can be of good cheer because the Lord has overcome this world! We go through these troubles to learn and grow - learn to love unconditionally, and grow into the image of Christ.

Although you didn't mention Jesus Christ or a relationship with Him, He is the answer - for your husband, your daughters and yourself. Except, wait, you said soon-to-be step daughter which means you are not yet married to this man. That doesn't change that Jesus is the answer, you will just have a little bit more to repent of and He is faithful and just to forgive us of ALL our transgressions.

Frankly, I don't know how non-believers get through one single day without Him. He brings such peace in the midst of "episodes". He watches over the little ones and appoints each an guardian angel for extra protection. He's always there to listen to our prayers and "loves with a love that is more than a love" to quote a famous poet.

His love is never conditional on how we act or what we do - good or bad. He simply always loves. I will pray for your fellow and for your girls and for you.

Father God, I lift up this young mother so much in love with the father of these two little girls who is having a difficult time with bad memories. Lord, I thank You for Your unconditional love and for having me read her request so that I could pray and ask You to heal his mind. Father, give him Your sweet peace that passes all understanding and help him to live in the day and look forward to his bright future in relationship with You.
Holy Spirit, teach him how to lay those bad memories down and replace them with good ones. Reveal to him the Truth and the Way so that he can come and be refreshed and know that ALL things - not just some - work together for the good of those who love You and are called according to Your purpose. Then help him be a godly father in his household.
Give this young mother peace, also, Lord and help her to be full of Your joy which can be her strength to walk through any valley. Help her to rejoice and give thanks for these troubles knowing that You are working to make her into the image of Christ Jesus. Send godly older women to teach and help her to learn Your ways.
And last, Father, be with these little girls. Guide and direct them and keep them always in your loving embrace. May their days be filled with love and laughter so that when the sun is covered by clouds and when it rains, the can be full of hope that there will again be a bright warm day. Give them Your blessed assurance that they will know You and spend their eternity with You.
Thank You, Lord, for loving us so and for Your thoughts turning to our days. It is so awesome that You have made a Way for us to come and be Your children through Your beloved son Jesus and His sacrifice. Thank You for answering my prayers, too. You are so good ALL the time and I love You and give You all the praise and glory because You are worthy. Amen

Sorry, N. that I didn't have specific information from knowing someone with PTSD, but I know that my reading and responding to your post was divinely arranged by a Father who loves you. I pray it helps.
Hugs and blessings
Grami
p.s. marry this wonderful man asap : )

Hi N.,
I bet you get a lot of response to this. My husband was in Viet Nam and when I first met him, (he'd been out of the Navy for about a year) if I touched his feet in the night he would jump about 6 feet in the air and end up on top of me with his arm under my throat. It was really bad like that in the earlier years--bad dreams, etc. He still has those dreams sometimes, even now, at age 57! It might be something that will lessen with time with your sweetie, too. My husband felt terrible about his symptoms and how it affected our relationship, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. He has told me many times that I saved his life, just by being understanding. I wish I had more advice for you, but I don't . . . is there an older cop that maybe could talk to your guy? Sometimes, they just need someone to listen who's "been there" and understands.
C.

N.: I am a registered nurse and work for the Veterans Administration Medical Center. I have worked with veterans for 11 years, many suffering from PTSD. This disorder may never go away. You and your family will need to support your spouse and continue to seek medical treatment. PTSD is mainly controlled by counseling and medication, sometimes hospitalization. I am also one that believes through the power of god we can overcome anything. You may also need to seek spiritual support. If you and your family are affiliated with a church home, seek their support. I truly pray for you, your husband and your children.

God Bless You All,

I.

N.
PTSD is very real and can get real serious if it is not dealt with. You cannot push it away. You have to find a way to deal with it. My granddaughter has it because of the loss of her mother,not to death, but to simply dropping her child off to school and never coming back. We have dealt with this for about 9 years and it is getting better. You have to get GOOD medical help, medication and counseling. Group therapy is GREAT. She was able to let out and express her feeling more through group than anything. Her and I had a lot of late night talks and walks. She was 4 and is now 14. We are still dealing, but it gets better all the time. He needs to get this is check now. It is not going to go away without help and it is very treatable. Do not let it get too far out of hand. Just make sure you find a doctor that treats PTSD. A lot of people do not believe in it. It is very real.

Good Luck S. Miller

Hello my husband was a firefighter for about 8 years. He witness alot and he felt due to the things he saw it was best to retire. He had nightmares all the time and it took about a year an they seamed to stop. He will have a nightmare every once in awhile but it is not like it use to be. Now here is the crazy part. About 5 years latter he decided he wanted to fill his dream and become a police officer. I spoke to him about the posibility that he would probaly have nightmares because he will witness even more bad things. But he felt it was worth it. He has been an officer for 4 years now and is now a US Depty and loves his job with a passion. He is only 35 now and retirement is a way off but I do worry about the aftermath. Give your husband time, but if he is not sleping now than I would say it is time to see a therapist. I know cops are stuborn but it could help. What about him writing down the nightmares? That could be a way to release his feelings and maybe let go of them. There might be groups out there for people like your husband. If you have a good church there might be a men's group and he could talk with them. The main thing is to get him to talk to release those bad memorries and then he can move foward. You and your husband will be in my prayers-----A.

Hi, I know what your dealing with. My husband is ex-military and has been suffering from PTSD for 4 yrs now. There are different ways for them to deal with it. The way my husband deals with it is through physical excertion. He will go for a run or he will do alot of push ups. As he physically wears himself out he works through whatever set him off and that helps him to rest at night. The thing you need to do is to support him in any way you can. Example... If your daughter is being really fussy and your husband is having one of his episodes then take your daughter into the other room to give him some space. You can also try to destract him with something else and get his mind off it. Over time you can tell when and episode is coming and you can try to divert it. Daniel can tell when one is coming on and he can usually head it off before it takes hold. It also helps to pray him through it. I know that when I didn't know what to do I would pray. It has helped me. This is going to be a very long road but if you stick together through it you will make it. I really hope this helps.

Hello there, I can feel how much you love your husband to be. I guess the best that you can do is pray for him day and night. If you believe that therea's a God who created heaven and earth then nothing is impossinble for him to cure your husband. He is our ultimate healer.

Have a great day!

Warm Regards,

S.

Try neurofeedback.

L.

I have PTSD and four year old twins. If you want more info i would rather talk on phone 1 ###-###-####

Have you tried EFT (emotional freedom technique)? If you would like a newsletter about this helping PTSD patients, I will send it to you if you give me your e-mail. It really works, and most therapists can teach you now.
B. S. RN CCM

all you can do is love him and support him in his life change, the best thing to do is suggest counseling, but present it as it will not just help him but your family...explain that things change and there are professionals out there to help you adjust to the change not make you feel that something is wrong with you. Let him know he spent a got percentage of his life doing for others but know it is time for others to do for him. Good luck:)

I don't know if this will help or not... I just found out about Dr. Jeffrey Thompson and thought of how his work could help you/your future husband and your family. Here is a link to his bio http://www.neuroacoustic.com/dr_thompson.html You can also go to Amazon.com to see all of the cd's that he has done... there are many. I haven't used any of his stuff yet (will be soon) but have heard GREAT things about the effects of what he does.
I am not a believer in the medications/chemicals that traditional medicine force feeds you and do whatever I can whenever possible to avoid it. All I know is that it can't hurt to give this technology a shot. What is better then self healing?
I hope that this will be helpful to you.
Good luck!

A Little about me:
First time mother of a beautiful baby girl (2 months). Currently living in Egypt with my husband of 2 years.

This is not uncommon I think. Men always suppress thier feelings to be the tough guy, plus my hubby says they are trying to protect you(which they dont understand hurts you more in the long run) My hubby has done his tours overseas "episodes" he has, as you said, do affect everyone around him. He is completely miserable and he goes through spurts of wasting ALOT of our money and nights he sits awake all night as well. He also went through a terrible bout of drinking for about a year and half thank GOD he straightened up. Try not to get discouraged but it is hard to tell them they may have it becasue they pretty much already know and just do not want to treat it. They have psychiatrists that specialize in PTSD sounds like the ones he has seen may not have been. It also helps to continue to talk to those who shared the experience with you. I know my hubby finds confort in talking to his friend who went through the war with him and all the terrible things they had to do. Your daughters do not need to deal with this their lives are just starting. Let him know how you feel, good luck.

N.,

This is something people I know have used to help with PTSD (for anything from birth trauma to war trauma/work trauma). It is called Emotional Freedom Technique - this website http://emofree.com/ has some do it yourself things but to really get to the heart of it you need to get someone else to do it. In our area (NW Arkansas) I've heard of one lady who does it for $200/hour and there is another lady who does it for $45/hour. I tell you this so you know there are options out there... On the website they have videos that show how they work (a bit) and definitely how it works for the patient!

HUGS for you....
K.

Hi N.,

I know the situation can be really tough at times. My dad had it as a result of serving in Vietnam - twice. Has he tried anything natural - that doesn't mess with the chemicals in the brain? Things like Stress Relief, CorEnergy, and B-Complex seem to help.

You can check each one out below:
CorEnergy - http://www.shaklee.net/thewrightplace/product/20632

B-Complex - (also avail in 2 smaller sizes)http://www.shaklee.net/thewrightplace/product/20194

Stress Relief - http://www.shaklee.net/thewrightplace/product/20656

Feel free to email me directly at ____@____.com

God Bless,
~V~