PTSD - Sharing the Learning Curves

Updated on April 30, 2008
S.B. asks from Seattle, WA
23 answers

Do you have PTSD? I do. What's something that works for you when you have an episode (or just an anniversary) and still have to be the mom? Is there anything in particular you do to help decrease your daily stress levels? What about if you work full-time, too?

I train in martial arts - at least 2x a week - and that somewhat helps with getting my headspace to stay better, but I'm currently feeling overwhelmed by life (and it's an anniversary time again) and the insomnia has been killing me. Add to that a particularly bad bout of PMS this time 'round, and I'm a basket case. I know that sharing the things that work can sometimes help, so I'm checking to see what y'all have.

Blessings and peace to all.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your responses! It's encouraging to see (again) that I'm not alone in the struggle with PTSD. There are sooo many causes, and it affects everyone differently. It's also encouraging to have methods that work reiterated and refreshed in my mind. Overall, I'd say I'm doing pretty well with it. On a daily basis, however, some days go better than others...and on the not so great days, it helps to be reminded that the hard work is worth it in the end. Oh, and the recommendations for the different types of therapy are definitely of interest to me - thank you! I'll be checking them out as I have the time.
If you come across this thread later than 3/31/08, feel free to respond with what works for you if you like :). Random reminders in my inbox are a good thing!

Peace, love and laughter to you all!
S.

Featured Answers

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B.B.

answers from Seattle on

There's a therapy called EMDR (eye movement desensitization and re-(something)) that helps tremendously. I'm speaking from experience with the therapy. It interrupts the negative thoughts and reprograms the brain with positive ones. Sounds kind of weird but works great and fast, for a lot of people (has been used on Vietnam vets). I think the woman who came up with it is local, too.

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P.C.

answers from Seattle on

Insomnia is a particular trigger for me. I function very poorly and lean to the mentally unhealthiest I ever am. What I have found helps me is "total shut down mode". Even a short period of time 15-30 mins. Make myself as comfortable as possible, eat, toilet and keep warm with a blanket and sit silently or chanting messages. I am strong, I am worthy, I will take care of you, I am good...what ever the message needs to be. Drink a large amount of water first so that at the end you are actually flushing some of the negative away. I try to treat myself the way I would treat a child. This often works for me. I also use yoga and have been saved by Mr. Rogers too. Peace to you Darlin'.

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J.K.

answers from Seattle on

I have PTSD and have been struggling with it for years. The chronic sleep depravation and panic attacks have made my life unmanageable at times. It is especially difficult when I have my 3 young children to take care of an need to explain to them why I get so jumpy & weepy.

I recently started seeing a new psychologist who had me start listening to this CD from centerpointe.com and it has made a HUGE difference. I am finally over my insomnia. I have never meditated before (couldn't calm my mind enough to) and now I even started taking a yoga class! I haven't had a panic attack since I started 3 months ago.

Also, try http://www.lifespanintegration.com/whatisli.php

Good luck to you and your health. I hope you find some relief soon.

J.

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D.P.

answers from Seattle on

I, too, have PTSD. I have suffered with its' extremely severe effects for many years. What has helped me firstly is to remind myself that this is my past. Everything in my past has gone into creating the person that I have been molded into today (and I like myself), and because of my experiences, I can now share with others and help others with this extremely traumatic disorder. I have lost much of my memory from different times of my life and my friends have helped me to fill in the gaps. When I feel the extreme stress coming on I see my doctor and am prescribed a very low dose of Diazepam (Valium). This medication can be taken as needed and stopped at any time with no side effects. I know it is difficult to consider medical inervention, but what you and I are suffering from is a medical condition and it is a severe one. It's ok to embrace that, know you are a survivor...which is an incredible thing to be, and seek the care necessary in order to accomplish all that life is asking you to accomplish. You and I have survived our ordeal because God has a plan for our lives that has yet to be accomplished. He wants us to live, let go and embrace a safe and secure future. Keep the faith, run the race, and make sure that you see your doctor. Don't live through insomnia, flashbacks and panic attacks. You don't have to, there is help available.

Good Luck,
D. P

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J.W.

answers from Seattle on

You didn't say what caused the PTSD. A traumatic event, like the death of a child, sibling or parent or other close person can be debilitating. Anniversaries are difficult, but part of that is the grieving process. I've seen my parents thru the years cope with sudden loss of my brother (passed at age 14) and then when my father died nearly 30 years later, I didn't realize how much every day my Dad thought of my brother, as we talked about his coming passing. He got so caught up with living life with the rest of us kids and my Mom he never had time to talk about missing my brother. You will never lose the love and the scar the event left behind will always be there, it's part of who you are now. How you live with it will define who you are and you will teach your kids how to deal with life's ups and downs as a result. You lead by example. My dealing with their deaths through the years has had it's good times and it's not so good times. We talk about events in our family. We acknowledge the sadness, remember the good times. We actually celebrate the anniversaries, we go pick out flowers and take them to the cemetary. We remember the people, not how they died, but how they lived. We tell the silly stories. When my sister-in-law died unexpectedly and left behind children who were 6 and 10 at the time, I had balloons at the celebration of her life, balloons for everyone to put a kiss on, to hug and let go, let them fly so she catch them all. Everytime my niece and nephew get a little low or want to share something with their mom, they go to the store, get a balloon and send it with their hugs and kisses. We started this with my Dad's service, and 12 years later, all the grandkids still do this. Out of sight, never out of mind. I have had my own serious health issue, and it was very traumatic for my kids. I didn't realize how much because I was so caught up in the diagnosis, treatment and aftercare. These are life changing events. I saw that there were problems and sought help for them. Our daughter was able to talk with her pediatrician who in turn referred her to a therapist along with a prescription. There are support groups for a variety of issues. If this was a loss of a child, there is Compassionate Friends, you can get their info from Children's Hospital. If this was a death due to cancer or long term illness, contact the hospice that may have provided help, they are their for the family as well as the patient. Go talk with your doctor. It sounds like the physical pain coupled with the emotional hurt can be overwhelming for you. You need some coping tools and I hope these comments might help some. I wish you peace.

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S.B.

answers from Portland on

Hi S.
I would love to talk to you about PTSD and what has worked for me and the continuing efforts. I can not bring my self to divulg that part of me in a public forum. If you want to chat please E-Mailme me. There are a lot of things that cause PTSD and so with the limited info on yours it is not cut and dryed as Oh I have PTSD or STDS , or what ever. There are cause and effect. Each cause affects us different and the effects are unpredictable. So Please lets chat ____@____.com

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D.D.

answers from Seattle on

Post Traumatic Stress is our way of learning when to flee at a split second's notice. It is a protective mechanism designed to protect you in extreme emergency. However, when we have been accidently "programmed" by strong emotions to react a certain way, we then have to "unprogram" ourselves.

When I used to have episodes, I would put myself in a situation where I could tell myself "what you think is happening is NOT happening now!" I had to retrain myself. For example, I went through the Loma-Prieta Earthquake in 1989 in California in the Bay Area. It was rather traumatic for me, because I was freaking out, wondering if my son was OK and unable to reach him either by phone, nor car for 2 hours! Then, I went on a cruise ship a couple of years later. As the enginges started I was below deck, my heart started pounding, and I freaked out! It reminded me of the earthquake so terribly. I ran upstairs and out on deck where I could actually SEE that I was on a ship, NOT re-experiencing an earthquake. I talked to myself (no I'm not crazy) and told myself "you're on a cruise ship, not in an earthquake". That helped a lot, then I didn't have any more recurrences. I have also had Post Traumatic Stress from other traumatic incidences. I learned to take them in stride, and roll with them, not fight them, and then tell myself while they were happening, - that ""so and so" incident isn't really happening" - and prove to my brain and heart that that is the case as I did in the cruise ship. Eventually that all subsided. I had this disorder for 4 separate traumatic incidents. I no longer have this disorder for any of those. Some of them were recurring - like when my mother used to hit me over the head and someone would get mad at me, so I would literally feel like she was hitting me over the head again - I no longer have that any more.

Give yourself the OK to feel those feelings - validate yourself. Tell your self the truth about what's happening today. Prayer helps IMMENSELY. This is caused by VERY STRONG feelings. These feelings are telling you there is danger when there is not. So you have to teach yourself that there really isn't danger any more like there used to be in a similar situation. Often you have to teach yourself multiple times before it goes away. Allow yourself to feel those feelings. IT'S OK.

Hope this helps, God bless you.

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K.E.

answers from Seattle on

Hi S.,
I highly recommend EMDR for treatment. I have PTSD and I am a therapist and have used this treatment as a patient with huge success and with my own patients also with great success. There are people in nearly every town who use this therapy so you should be able to find someone. Feel free to email with specific questions if you have them.
Other than that I find every kind of self care helpful - exercise, naps, massage, journal writing, doing something I Love, crying - whatever gets you a break. I think strategic video watching or art projects that will keep the kids engaged while I get a grip also helps. Also just calling another adult on the phone and having them present helps too.
Good Luck!

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M.F.

answers from Seattle on

Hi S., A good friend of mine named Jen has PTSD and has gotten tremendous help from the nutritional products we distribute so much so she was able to laugh spontaneously for the first time with her children after just a few days on them and is getting better all the time! If you'd like to know more about what she was using and talk to her personally let me know and I can connect you. (She is not a part of Mama source) My email is ____@____.com

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K.H.

answers from Seattle on

Are you getting therapy for your PTSD? I did and she used a rapid eye movement technique that worked wonders for me. It was almost like she flipped a switch in my brain and now I can deal and dont have all those overwhelming feelings that I did before. I'm sure it wont work for everyone and I did think she was crazy at first when she suggested it but wow in just a few sessions I felt almost cured. It might be something worth looking into for you as well. Best of luck. I remember how it felt and others look at you like there is nothing wrong and you need to just get over it. If only it were that simple.

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C.P.

answers from Bellingham on

I have PTSD as well and unfortunately for a while my oldest daughter was a trigger for me. She used to get combative and punch me when she was little and that would trigger an episode for me. My counselor gave me a glass stone to carry around in my pocket and told me that when I felt myself disassocitating to either rub the stone or transfer it from pocket to pocket. It was a phyiscal action that helped keep me grounded in the here and now, and it really helped.

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L.E.

answers from Anchorage on

Goodmorning, I have a few issues that bring out the PTSD. They were starting to order my life (or disorder as the case may be)- so I just started EMDR therapy. My friends all tell me it will work. I go to my first session today. This may be right for you. Good luck - L.

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A.V.

answers from Portland on

Yep I too have it, or had it. It is mild now, but still see evidence from time to time.

the other tips, things to take & things to do are great for the immediate get you through it. But the bottom line is processing the trauma. Counseling, rapid eye, some of the others mentioned, are critical. I am a medical massage therapist. Massage is nice to relax, but find someone who specializes in "trauma recovery", memories get stuck in tissue, not just your brain, & working with someone to "pull" it out where it is safe, slows the seepage when you are the one in charge. You are welcome to contact me if you want more details.

God bless your journey, it isn't always easy, but it's worth it.
A.

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J.C.

answers from Seattle on

I know there is an accupressure technique that is being used in places like Rwanda and Eastern Europe for survivors that is supposed to be quite helpful in calming episodes. I am sorry I don't know the name of if but you could check google. It was developed by doctors in the US.

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A.H.

answers from Seattle on

I also have PTSD. I am on meds to try and help me. I was trying to fight it for a long time. I was a prisoner in my own home. I still have trouble going out to the store and finish my shopping. Talking about it can help unless you have problems with change and talking about it is a big change. that is what I am up against right now I have to find a new counsler and I start having attacks at the thought of it. Best of luck to you.

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R.O.

answers from Eugene on

Hi S., PTSD sucks!! It effects way more people then will admit it, and God love you, you can admit it! We all have our own reasons for having it, but the end result is the same...we are victims! Taking martial arts is an excellent way to empower your self physically, and mentally, and since it is not always possible to 'face your demon' I found writing helps me a lot! Putting it out there seems to give it less power over you, and try every day to let go and let God (I know easier said than done!) Find peace in Karma, it is a gift to our broken hearts that allows them to get what they deserve, and no guilt for you LOL! Focus on the blessings you have been given, and talk openly, there are CODA classes that I went to, really helped! God bless you, take care, R.

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S.M.

answers from Seattle on

I have PTSD from the loss of my child two years ago. I have been seeing a couselor, which if you aren't already you should consider. One thing she helped me do was make a list on a little index card of things that help me when I begin to feel anxious. I carry this around with me and when I start to fell "out of sorts" I look to it and begin doing the things on it. It also has questions to ask myself that help snap me out of the downward spiral. Some are very practical things like: Take a walk, drink some water, pray, etc. Questions are like: What time of day is it? What is the weather like? (Both triggers for me). On the back of the card I have written Scriptures that help me. The most helpful statement is: It is not your children's fault! Treat them kindly!

For the insomnia try Passion Flower tea. I just get it at the regular grocery store and drink it throughout the day and right before bed. It seems to calm me and help me sleep.

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M.E.

answers from Portland on

Hi S.! I don't have PTSD, but you also asked, "Is there anything in particular you do to help decrease your daily stress levels? What about if you work full-time, too?" Yes and yes. Two things I do to relieve stress: I work out a couple times a week (which I see you do too) and I take a wonderful product call A-Supreme ("A unique adaptogen formula that: helps the body combat stress, supports cardiovascular health, and helps increase and maintain energy") I currently work full time in an office (at least for now) and part-time running a growing business, have two kids and a spouse with a struggling graphics business. So, the A-Supreme sometimes has its work cut out for it. . .If you're interested, you can learn more about it at: https://www.advocare.com/07121777/Store/ItemDetail.aspx?i.... We also have products for the PMS and insomnia too:-) By the way, from your posting, I'm guessing that you are a faithful woman as well, prayer helps me when all else fails--may you find the strength and peace that you need! Best of luck to you!

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C.

answers from Portland on

S., you have your hands full with your brood.

I think your training in martial arts is a perfect way to channel energy and anger in productive ways.

But there are other elements of PTSD that require time for meditation, time for nurturing oneself, time for exploring one's gentle side.

I have a three year old, and I haven't yet been successful in asking her for my own "time-out." Whenever I'm stressed out and having flash-backs and we're home alone together, she gloms on to me, and that doesn't help either of us.

Your kids are older, though, and can understand your need for quiet time.

When a PTSD episode comes up, I try to use art, journaling, herbs in strong tea infusions, exercise, gardening, and talk therapy to help me calm and process through things. You may be able to encourage your kids to do some art (collage? journaling? bookmaking?) alongside you while you explore your own issues?

I struggle with this in an intense way and haven't found a perfect solution. Courage to you!

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M.L.

answers from Corvallis on

I developed PTSD from a bad car accident, and found a therapist who did EMDR with me and I was helped immensely within about a month. The grey heavy blanket lifted and I was able to re-enter my life fully. I HIGHLY recommend it if you can find a practioner in your area. Do some research online.

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M.K.

answers from Richland on

Hi My name is M. K. I am 56 years old and I have something you may want to try. Try Peter Gillham's Natural CALM. it is a powder Magnesium supplement.It will help with stress,cramps,PH balance,bone strenghth, and so much more. If you are on Meds check with your doctor and I suggest this product because it is the only one I have found. We Americans don't get the mag. we should be getting. It helps with the blues. Calicum intake I couldn't say enough.Let me know. and if you decided to take it give it enough time to taek care of what it has to. any other questions please call. M. K.

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B.Y.

answers from Portland on

I have PTSD and bipolar. What helps me with my stress is a homeopathic medicine by Hylands. It is called Nerve Tonic, the 3 grain formula. Two under the tongue and within 30 min. I feel better. You don't feel "super duper happy", you just feel like yourself. Kinda like a headache and asprin. Try it. Whole Foods carries it, and probebly New Seasons, most natural stores.
Good Luck.

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C.A.

answers from Seattle on

I just came across your post. You said to respond, so I am. What I have found helpful: A good Christian counselor (important to me that it be God-centered counseling because my life is God-centered and He is the Great Counselor!); journaling (ranting, raving, rambling -- the 3 r's are very important!); selective disassociation (allow myself to detach from my feelings in order to do what I need to do for my kids, then use journaling after they are in bed); physical activity, which you are already doing.
I'm sorry you have to go thru this. I'll be praying for you.
Time for me to go journal! :s

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