M.F.
This is preschool right? At my son's school if there is an incedent they are not allowed to identify the child who did the wrong. Although the child would be old enough to tell her mom who it was. The teacher should have definitely told you what your daughter did when you picked her up. At my son's school we get an incident report. I would talk to the director about their policy. What I would do is talk to my daughter about how wrong it is to spit and how there will be consequences if she does it again but I wouldn't punish at this point. She should apologize to the girl too. I do think the mom handled it very wrong as I don't think she should have spoken to your daughter or infront of her. I will say though that I would be upset if my child got spit on, and at five that is too old to continue to behave that way.