Spitting Child

Updated on June 18, 2011
S.R. asks from Hewitt, MN
4 answers

My girl is nearly five n she spat at her so called friend in school the other day, I was not told about it untill the following day, when the friends mother appoarched me after ignoring my hello, she told me about how she was not happy n that she does nt want them playing together n e more. She looked at my daughter like she was dirt, n stated to her your not playing with her n e more. I thought the mother was very immature in the way that she handled this. I am wondering if the correct thing 2 do would be to sort out these differences, and teach them to forgive and move on, am I right. My child is now branded as a discusing nasty child, as now other friends are also not playing with her in the playground.
The school have nt helped at all as they told the mother but not me, why its so unprofessional. I did go n speak to the teacher straight away n she said she had to tell her, like as if she did not need to tell me thou. She said that my daughter had been punished at the time, I asked her well do i punish her again, she sad well she has been a good girl today. I think this is really confusing my child as I turned up on the day of the spitting with a lolly 4 her.

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So What Happened?

I sent the mother a text after this incident, explaining that I could nt belive that I had not been told about this. I stated that she has branded my child as a nasty discusting child, but she is generally a loving child n thats what the focus should be on. Going on to say that ev re child has their moments. Pointing out that her child didnt act perfectly when she came ova to visit one time, As she was going around slambing doors n excluding my 3 yr old. Which contradicts what she also said on the day of the approach "Olivia is a shy girl" but she was n e thing but shy when in our company, she is definentely the most forward n intelligent 5 yr old I know of. This raised the assumption that the daughter likes to play the victim when around her mother as she gets masses of attension.

More Answers

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M.F.

answers from Houston on

This is preschool right? At my son's school if there is an incedent they are not allowed to identify the child who did the wrong. Although the child would be old enough to tell her mom who it was. The teacher should have definitely told you what your daughter did when you picked her up. At my son's school we get an incident report. I would talk to the director about their policy. What I would do is talk to my daughter about how wrong it is to spit and how there will be consequences if she does it again but I wouldn't punish at this point. She should apologize to the girl too. I do think the mom handled it very wrong as I don't think she should have spoken to your daughter or infront of her. I will say though that I would be upset if my child got spit on, and at five that is too old to continue to behave that way.

4 moms found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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3 moms found this helpful

C.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

I'm sorry for how that mom treated your daughter. She's 5, they have their phases. The problem could've been dealt with if you had KNOWN about it. I'd look for another daycare. I mean they didn't tell you about it at all. Man, I hope this stuff doesn't happen to me... I would just stare back at that mom and tell her not to talk to my daughter in that rude tone. There's no need for it. I can't stand people that are harsh to young children in defense of their own. You should talk to them about it, yes, but in a respectful way. Anyways, I'd find a new preschool/school that believes in actual communication with the parents.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

That mother is over reacting over something that may not have been tasteful but it is a 5 year old and they do things disgusting at times, doesn't make them bad or disgusting, just 5. I would invite some of the kids over one on one with your daughter. Remind your daughter that we treat others the way we want to be treated and if there is a problem to talk it over nicely. Even role playing on how things should be handled rather then spitting. The school probably contacted the other mother because it bodily fluid and could contain diseases but they should have let you know it happened too so you could reinforce the no spitting on people rule at home. First and foremost, make sure you make your daughter realize that while we all make bad decisions at times, we don't lose who we are when we do. She is a kind and sweet girl and a good person, even if some act in a negitive way towards her. Hopefully with the one on one play dates, this will all blow over without causing your daughter years of punishment for one little act.

1 mom found this helpful
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