Speech Delay May Lead to Repeat Kindergarten

My instinct is to let him repeat kindergarten and give him a chance to work at his own comfortable pace. My middle son had delayed speech but he didn't need to be held back in kindergarten. His pediatrician, who specialized in developmental disabilities, said a child with delayed speech will eventually catch up with his peers and not to worry. He is now a young man who served in the Marines for 5 years, is finishing up his college degree with a near A average, is a voracious reader, accomplished speaker, and member of Toastmasters.

Hola! I had the same problem with my oldest son (now he is 11yrs old) and I wish I could turn back time. I remember that his kindergarden teacher told me to make him repeat kinder. I was very mad and did not took her advice. I have been struggling all this years with my son. I have tried almost everything. Tutoring at home, tutoring at school, taking him to psycologist, neorologist, taewkendoo, ext. At 5th grade he had all F at school and in the second semester I change him to another school. You can not imagine how much money I have spend trying to make him be better at school cause education is the only heritage I will leave to my kids. Now he is in a school that I know that is not the best but at least he gets B and C and we don't fight all the time, like we used too. Sometimes I think that I almost sure that if my son had repeated kinder he would have been more mature and all this years could have been better. Good luck with your decision cause you are the only one who really knows your kid.

Don't consider it the easy way out. Would you rather he struggle through school for the rest of his schooling (possibly leading to lack of interest ...)? Consider this decision for his COMPLETE benefit to be held back now - while he is young - in order to put him on par with his peers. He won't me MUCH more mature than his peers as he will likely be only a few months behind many of them! Since he has a summer b-day, he will be practically the same age ...

My brother was NOT ready for first grade (and our mom is a teacher) because it just wasn't his time to move forward. His b-day was about a month before the cut off and, in the end, he was with his correct peers (academically & emotionally) once he was held back. He thrived after the second year of kinder and was ready, willing, and excited about school after that time ... and he still had time to be a kid (playing, scouts, sports, etc.) instead of having to have hours of tutoring every single day ...

FYI, I also emailed this situation to my mom who is an early childhood teacher and she agreed that holding him back was the best thing they ever did. She commented that it was a very hard thing for her to do because she felt that somehow, his educational inadequacies were a reflection on their parenting. In hindsight, she knows that was not the truth (he was academically behind his peers and that stressed him out, too!).

Best wishes!!!

As a teacher of 14 years, I always cringe when parents initiate a request to hold their children back in a grade. At this early in development your son will catch up rather quickly. You may not need intense tutoring as you mentioned, but rather some one on one at home between you and even your older children. My son was speech delayed as well. He went through intensive speech therapy for 18 months. (He will be 5 next month). In addition to the speech therapy, I bought a ton of educational videos and games (all from Leap Frog). My son said his first word at 20 months and did not say his first chain of words until he was over 2. Between all of the videos (Letter Factory and Word Factory) and games (Leapster), he is now at the top of the class. He is reading almost 2 full years ahead of pre-k.
You still have 5 months until he starts first grade. Those 5 months could make a world of difference. If he has friends in the class or in other classes in kindergarten, he will realize that they are moving on and he isn't and it will more than likely hurt his feelings. It could also backfire and turn him off to school in the later years as he will be the oldest in his class.
Teach your child to be a fighter not a quitter.

H., remember that you have been bless with three children and that none of them will ever be alike. The fact that the first two are honor students gives you the time to spend with the 5 year old. Let him repeat the kinder , who knows what he didnot understood in the first try he might be able to understend in the second try.......and will surprice you. I'm a 63 year old grandma and I'm still taking care of other kids of working mothers and have come across a lot of things that will surprice you. But remember they are all very special in their own ways and God doesn't give one to you unless He know you are able to care for him.............LOVE

I wouldn't hold him back. They wanted to hold back my first grader last year and I refused. Technically, they can't hold them back if they meet criteria without the parent's consent. She also had speech therapy and I got her additional tutoring over the summer - once or twice a week. Now nearing the end of first grade, she's doing great - makes the honor roll and is top of her class. What my friend who was a reading specialist for 25 years told me and the principal confirmed is that there is no research to support holding kids back in the very early grades. You have to think of when he's a teen and bigger than everyone in his class, developing earlier,etc.

Just my $0.02. Looks like you got a lot of good opinions here though.

I'm not sure where you are located county wise but my 8yr old son was also speech delayed and received therapy at school in Broward County up until the end of 1st grade. He was a part of the PLACE program at our local school from the age of 3. Have your son's therapy sessions stopped? Looked into the ESE program at your local school for more assistance and guidance. I personally would want for my son to continue his therapy sessions, add on a few at a rehab center if need be in order for him to be placed in the next grade. Work with him thru the summer and 1st grade should be attainable in the fall. Good luck!!!!

Lucy

As a teacher I can tell you that there are some things you can do starting now.
1. Write the alphabet in big letters (separately) and have him trace them with his fingers.
2. Have him go over the letters, one by one, with glue, and then sprinkle glitter.
3. Have him place the letters in alphabetical order.
4. Dictate a three letter word and have him write it with the letters. (Increase the number of letters in the words every 2-3 days. If he does not know how to spell, spell if for him, but let him write the word. Ask him to say the word.
5. Ask him to write each word in a notebook that has been prepared ahead of time. The notebook should have the letter of the alphabet at the top of the page. Start on the second page If possible make sure you add labels with the letter at the sides so that he can find them easily. Depending on the number of pages you can have 2-3 pages per letter. Have him write his name and telephone number in the first page.
6. Read to your child a simple book every day (slowly) while he follows with his finger what you are reading.
7. Have him read the book back to you. Do not rush him.

I am a kindergarten teacher. If your child is not ready for first grade it would be best if he stays in kindergarten for 1 more year. If he goes to first grade he will be come frustrated because he can’t keep up with the rest of the children and behavior problems start. You need to think about what will be beneficial for your child. I have had several students in my class who have repeated kindergarten. That extra year made such a difference. I have one retainer that is going to be tested for gifted. So you never know what will happen. Give your child all the support he needs.

Greetings!

I would say that if you are considering keeping him back to keep him behind now would be better than to keep him behind later. Watching a child struggle in school is frustrating for the child and the parent. But, even if he is older, I would rather my child succeed in school than eek his way through. A family cousin got held back in 6th grade after several school years of struggling and tutoring. That was a source of embarrasment and resentment for her...all her friends going off to middle school, and she had to remain. Not to mention her parents felt responsible and embarrased as well. Tutoring is certainly an option. It would depend on the time (and perhaps funding depending on where you go) you have available to devote to tutoring, if that was a viable option.

Good Luck to you!
T.
SAHM of a 3 year old girl and a 8 month old boy.

Rather than have your child possibly struggle for the rest of his school years, my advice is to hold him back now..this is the time when it wont matter...but if he fails in the future from 3rd grade on it is a lot harder on the child.
I held my daughter back in kindergarten...she could have been promoted with the extra tutoring....but ever since, she has been on the A honor roll and I have not regretted it at all! That extra year of maturity has made a huge difference! It just seems so much harder when they start school at such a young 5!

My daughter was happy to stay back because she got to help her teacher all the time (I requested the same teacher) She knew everything and knew where everything was...she really enjoyed it!

Hope this helps!

A friend of mine went through a similiar issue and struggled on whether or not to hold her child back. Actually, his teacher told her that he would be fine and let him move up a grade, but she saw how hard her son was struggling and didn't want him to hate school because of it. So she made the decision to hold him back and said it was the best decision she ever made. He is now keeping up with his peers, doing real well in school, and getting great grades. She said it also gave him time to mature which helped as well.

You have to decide based on what you feel your child can handle. If you think that this struggle will discourage him, then by all means, hold him back. If you think tutoring will help him catch up, then go that route. But don't push so hard where he will rebel and not want to work.

Good luck

I think you hould hold off on your decision. Get tutoring and help him practice over the Summer and then decide when school starts again in the fall. Struggling kids often start to dislike school.

H.,
First and foremost, you must talk with the teacher and the speech therapist about how your child is doing. Ask them if THEY feel that your child is ready to go to first grade. I tell you this because my second daughter is still mastering some letter sounds. Her speach was not very clear when she began kindergarten and it was my own fears and concerns that almost held her back from beginning kindergarten. I was concerned that her speech would make her "different" and that she would struggle. I talked to her kindergarten teacher about my concerns and she reassured me that my daughter was exactly where she needed to be and I also initiated the speech therapist to intervene and now my daughter is taking speech twice a week. I've been told (reassured beyond a shadow of a doubt) that my daughter's speech will improve and that she will pass kindergarten and go onto first grade. My daughter was not diagnosed with delayed speech. Instead, she was simply a late talker and because of when she was born, she is the youngest kindergartener in all of the kindergarten classes. Talk to your child's teachers and let them know what your concerns are and get their advice/input on this matter. Never underestimate your child's abilities. And, I would suggest using caution if you refer to your child as average in front of him. He's young now and doesn't understand but if he grows up hearing you call him "average," he could take that to mean that he is inadequate in some way and it could do more harm than you realize.

I have a 21 year old son in college who breezed through school. My now 7 year old son was not speech delayed but did have specific learning delays when he began kindergarten. He was also the youngest in his class since he did not turn 5 until July 31. As with your son, my son's skills and maturity were well behind those of the other children. He received lots of help and one-on-one assistance and made some progress. At the end of his kindergarten year they chose to promote my son to first grade. I was told that in Florida where we live it is extremely rare to retain a child in kindergarten. My son did make progress in first grade but was still struggling. At the end of his first grade year, his teaching team and I elected to retain him in first grade for another year. It was the best thing that could have happened. He has excelled this year and is reading at least 2-3 grade levels higher and at times reads at a fifth grade level. In every subject he has progressed by leaps and bounds and when I met with his teachers yesterday, they told me that my son was more than exceeding their expectations for progress. Needless to say I am thrilled and very pleased that we elected to allow my son to repeat first grade. I know each child is different but if your child needs an extra year to build his skills and confidence then having him repeat is better done earlier rather than later. Whatever you choose for your son, may the results be the very best for your son and your family.

If you feel he is struggling, it might be better to have him stay in kindergarten so that he can have the extra time to really learn the material. At that age, they don't need to know they are being held back really. But they will know and it will hurt more if they are older. Besides, he's just turning 6! If he is just turning 6 in June, then he will just be turning 7 when he enters first grade. That is by no means too old for first grade. It actually used to be common place for kids not to start school until 6, in kindergarten. Kids are just being pushed sooner and sooner. My five year old didn't talk until he was 3 and seems to be learning slowly. He is in pre-k right now. But I feel it is important to make sure he knows the material, and that his maturity level is on par with the kids in his class. Being the same maturity level as the kids he is with, will make him feel much more comfortable then if he just happens to be the same age. He will be 7 in first grade. My parents had to make a similar decision with me when I was little because I struggled. But after awhile, my mom said it all just clicked and I did well. I was 19 when I graduated highschool,(1998) but none of my friends cared, and I was an A student.

I am a teacher and have been teaching for 10 years. I taught 3rd grade for 9 years and 1st grade for a year. I have seen so many children struggle, especially in 3rd grade where the FCAT test determines whether they will be promoted or not. Often the children who do not pass are children who were considered to be held back in the early grades and the parents chose not to. When they get to 3rd grade, parents do not have a choice. If they do not pass the FCAT, they can not be promoted. As hard as it may be to hold him back in Kindergarten, it is in their best interest to do it early in my opinion. I have had children repeat the grade and soar the next year. On the other hand, I have children this year in 1st grade who are struggling this year because they did not get the basics in K. Some kids just need another year to grow and mature. While tutoring may be helping the other child, just think about the word you used "extensive". It just seems to much pressure to put on a little one. Read to your child everyday. Use can also use the websites below:
o www.read-to-learn.org
o www.justreadflorida.com
o www.starfall.com
o www.harcourtschool.com
o www.fcatmentor.com
o www.readingrockets.org
o www.bookadventure.com

I hope this helps! Good luck!

I am a kindergarten teacher in Broward, and without fully knowing your child and his capabilities, it isn't fair for me to say whether you should keep him back or not.Every child is different, there is no "one" answer for everyone. That is a decision for you and his teacher to decide. However, whatever decision you make, you should DEFINITELY work with him. If you are unsure what to do or how to do it, ask his teacher. Even if you don't want to, she may know of a tutor you can use. Many teachers tutor on the side. It will only benefit him to get the extra help. Plus, there are so many resources on the internet that can help you as well.

Hi H.,
Although my children are now grown up and I have already been through what you are going through now, I know how you must feel. There is always so much pressure on parents to have honor students and all of these "gifted" programs that are now being given in schools makes it even harder. I don't think you would be making it easier on your 5 year old by holding him back. He will feel more confident because he won't have to be constantly behind the other kids in his level. He won't have to be constantly tutored to stay ahead or just keep up.
My son was always struggling with some subjects and one year he got tutoring. As long as I knew that he was doing the best he could, what ever grades he got, was an accomplishment and it made him feel confident. He is now in college and a straight A student so I feel that letting him learn at his own pace, with supervision so that he didn't slack,was the right choice for me.
I hope this helps you make a decision that fits your childs and your needs.
Regards,
G. (veteran mother of 3 boys)

Do you really wan to push your child into learning something that he might not be ready for? Each child develops at different levels, that is what makes them an individual. Considering the fact that you have said there is another child who is in the same circumstance as your child, there may be other factors with the other child that you are not aware of. Just because there are similarities in both cases does not necessarily mean they will have the same outcome. Weigh your options. My child is 7 years old and in the first grade. At first I thought it would be a problem for him because he did not meet the age requirement for kindergarten, but it turned out to benefit him. He is one of the top pupils in his class. If you feel that you want to have your child spend time in tutoring so he won't be held back from kindergarten, then enroll him. Nowadays there are many children who have been held back in kindergarten because they did not meet the requirements for entering into first grade. I personally think that you as a parent should spend time with him so that he may "catch up". But if you are willing to do the extra curriculum , do not let one person's opinion discourage you. After all, school curriculum should be on a parent's priority list.

I would not hesitate to hold him back. I know friends that had similar issues and held their kids back, and it made a world of difference. Why let your child struggle to be average when he can excel in another setting? Kids really don't seem to mind being held back at this age, and the long-term results are totally worth it. He will be much more confident, having done kindergarten before, and that confidence will help him academically as well as socially. You might also consider changing schools if that is an option for you.
K. G. (mom of 2 teens)