Son Won't Use Toilet He Has As/pdd Nos

depending on how he reacts with a sudden change maybe get rid of the pullups/diapers all together? like you said he knows when he has to go and chooses not too. hes a smart boy and will catch on that hes too big and smart for a diaper

I have a son with autism and he was 5 1/2 by the time he was fully potty trained. I don't know what all things you have tried but I agree with getting rid of the diapers and put him in regular underware and maybe if he goes in that he won't like being wet. also since he can talk and tells you when he needs to go have you tried taking him and standing in front of the potty or sitting on it so that way he sees how easy it really is. and if he uses the potty try different kind of rewards to see if there is one that he realy likes and would work.

For starters, step it down to night time usage only. Get the overnight pullups, and show him it says, "night time" and only give him one at night. Find a fave character and buy him boys underpants in that character.

Firmly let him know he will be wearing underpants in the daytime, and that the "night time pullups" are for bed time only.
My son's bladder still has good and bad days, so I keep a few night time pullups on hand for those days, and work from that point, always reinforcing how proud I am of him.

You WILL be doing a TON of laundry from accidents(I went through as much laundry as I did when he was an infant the first few months I was doing this), but you have to change this before he goes to school(or if he does to a spec ed school, they can assist you with daytime potty training--SELF school helped my son prep for kindergarten, and helped reinforce the work I had done, and helped me with my frustrations--My son is on the high functioning end of the spectrum).

BTW, my son said this same thing to me about wanting to be a baby. Here's how I fixed it.
"Sweetie, you are my greatest joy. No matter how grown up you get, no matter how tall you get, or how many things change, you will ALWAYS be MY BABY. I love you. That will NEVER change." My son was afraid of change, afraid that growing up meant he'd never be my baby ever again. I waited until he was sound asleep to cry, and had a good old-fashioned shake and curl in to a ball cry. Then I got out my pencils, and drew a few sketches of my son. Then I wrote him a poem, then got out my fancy paper, and rewrote it in old time calligraphy with a glass pen and india ink(I'm an artist and do weird things like that).
I showed him the next time he said he wanted to go back to being a baby. I got out the photo album, and the sketches.

I showed him pictures of when he was tiny, when he first stood up, when he first walked, etc.

Here's the poem I wrote and read to him:

Always

"This was when you were very small,
Back then not so very tall,
You are growing day by day,
Changing in each and every way.

But no matter how the time does flow,
No matter how these changes will come and go.

One thing stays the same to me,
In my HEART you will always be,
My precious love, my sweet baby."

--L. (Your Mommy).

P.S.--I love you!

Then I tell him how much I love him. I repeat this every time he says he wants to be a baby. It doesn't happen much as it used to(he'll be eight on the 30th--OMG I'm going to curl and cry out of his hearing range about that), but it still happens every once in a while when someone tells him he's all grown up, or my how big you've gotten.

Just my 2cp.

Supernanny had a problem like this. The boy didn't have AS, but he was ADD. Anyway, she had daddy go and sit with him and they read books while the boy sat on the potty until he went. It was a fear thing, and they had to do it over and over until the little boy was ok with going by himself.

We used the book method with my daughter as well. Oh, and we also put the potty in the living room in front of the tv, so if she wanted to go she could. She sat on it naked butt while she watched her show. It helped get over her fear as well.

I don't know if these ideas will work for you or not, but it might be worth a try since you didn't list these as things you have tried.

Good luck~ I feel for your pain and frustration, actually, I bet we all do here.

Late/delayed toileting is very, very, very common with autistic disorders so please know that you're not alone in this. If your son also has Sensory Integration Disorder (sometimes called Sensory Processing Disorder) this could be the root of the problem. He really does need to take his own time on this, yet still receive gentle encouragement and praise. It can't become a power struggle or an issue that he's forced into. This isn't something that he can help, so it's more about "can't" than "won't."

That doesn't mean backing off completely, it just means giving him some space and understanding.

You've received some good advice about letting him have Pull-Ups at night and letting him choose underwear for the day. He WILL have accidents, and you WILL have a lot of laundry but he'll discover that it feels better to use the toilet than to have messes in his underwear. He won't like to ruin underwear designs or colors that he chose and therefore invested himself in, as well as clothes that he was already comfortable in.

You'll also have to resign yourself to the fact that he WILL have accidents and regressions even once he's toilet trained. He'll need reminders to go and you're going to have to keep an eye on him to make sure he's not withholding bowel movements and urine. My ten year old daughter gets frequent UTI's and she gets impacted with poop because of withholding (she is autistic) so I was thrilled when she decided caramel FiberOne bars and cereal are delicious. You can't withhold that stuff no matter how hard you try. ;-)

Anyway. He sounds like he's actually right on track considering the Autism and his age.

I have two kids on the autism spectrum and both had issues with potty learning. My first was easier because she was sensory avoidant, so she could take being wet or poopy and she also did well with rewards, I wrapped a bucket of toys up from the dollars store put them next to the potty seat and told her she could open one whenever she had to go. It worked. transitioning to the big potty was also a challenge but I used the same method, and she was independent by the time she was 4 with no accidents, however she is now 7 and a half and still refuses to wipe herself after poop. My son was more challenging. He loved his diaper. He was poop trained first, as he was often constipated and I had to sit him on the potty numerous times throughout the day. I read to him, told him stories, and sang songs while he sat to entertain him. We did all this on the big potty as I didn't want the hassle of having to transition from the little potty again. Pee took a lot longer. At 5 now he is pretty good. But basically I just took away the diapers and got pullups, and used those only at night. He still calls them diapers but they are only for nighttime. In the day he got underwear even though he had accidents. We sat on the potty about every two to three hours for 5 mins reading a book usually so it wasn't potty time it was reading time in the bathroom which helped. No pressure to go, just getting used to being in there. Eventually he peed while sitting there and made a mess but he got lots of praise and same for pooping. And eventually he felt ok about the potty and started to go. Now he stands to pee but just recently in the few weeks has gotten better about not spraying the entire toilet and floor. It is hard work and will take a lot of your time and patience but find a method you are comfortable with. And start right away. The older they get the harder it is, as change is so difficult for them and the longer the continue in a routine(diapers) the harder it is to change. So I say don't back off but find a new method. I would start with bathroom reading or something like that,making sure he understands he does not have to pee or poop, this is just fun time and we do it in this other room and even start with him sitting on the floor by the potty if he wont sit on it, or on it clothed at first. Hope this helped some!

I have not had this experience, but I kmoe that the autismspeaks.org website has some helpful info on this. Maybe it will have some info that will help.