Son Who Loves Pink

Updated on March 13, 2008
K.O. asks from Vancouver, WA
4 answers

My 3, almost 4, year old son has recently declared that pink is his favorite color. He also told me yesterday that he wanted to return the cars book he just got for a Disney Princess book. And he told me he was going to turn into a girl. I am a little concerned, and am wondering what other mom's experiences are with their sons being interested in girl toys etc.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.D.

answers from Portland on

I wouldn't worry at all. He is at the age where they like to explore everything and try out everything. Disney Princess stuff is really just fairy tales, which many boys grow up reading. Let him play with whatever he likes; it won't make a difference in his sexuality. He'll be who he is regardless of if he plays with Princess toys as a child or not. If it begins to bother you, get rid of all the gender related toys (cars, princesses, etc.) and focus on neutral stuff like blocks, Legos, arts and crafts, Tinkertoys, board games, Light Bright, etc. Those are fun, too!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.R.

answers from Portland on

K.,
considering his age, I wouldn't worry about it at all. My daughter used to want to be a boy and wanted to be called Fred. She had a big brother and wanted to be a boy like him. I see you have two boys, but still kids like to pretend and explore. My 3 turning 4 year old boy loves to play with baby dolls. He likes cars and things too, but he is very "fatherly". A very sensitive little boy.
Let him have a little fun with it and don't make a big deal about it. But I wouldn't go as far as buying him princess stuff either.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.V.

answers from Portland on

Just for laughs I will tell you that my mom bought a wonderful full skirted blue dress for one of the granddaughters. This passed to my daughter. We kept it in the dress up box. As my son got big enough he put on the dress, he had a blast twirling all over the house. "take my picture!" Now you have to admit, twirling in a full skirt is fun! When the film came back my mom & I looked at each other, & destroyed it. He is 15 now. Very masculine. (as a matter of fact, his dad struggled with homosexuality. That eventually took it's toll on our marriage. It was "given to him" by an older man in the neighbor hood who had molested him.) Obviously I was careful about my son's exposures. What you have described seems perfectly harmless. I would protect him like a hawk though, as he might be a prime target for gays or pedifiles that would groom him into thinking that "he was born this way." Teach him good boundaries about appropriate touch, & that he needs to tell you any thing out of the ordinary, or that doesn't seem right to him. And, let him enjoy pink. As my brother says.... "real men aren't afraid to were pink" Even the Doctor I work with has pink shirts. (no questions about either of them.)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Portland on

Your son wants to know what it's like to be a girl. I'll hazard a guess that he's sensitive, interested in relationships in a very basic way and notices people and how they act. I think this is good. He doesn't yet have the experience or words to let you directly know this.

My 4 yo grandson plays with his sister's toys as often as with his own. And just today my 7 yo grandaughter told me that she wants some boy's toys of her own. She's still dealing with sharing.

Her favorite color was pink until this summer. Now it is blue. Her mother's, my daughter's, favorite color was blue while she was growing up. She was a tom boy; didn't like to wear dresses. She loves feminine looking clothes now.

Fifty years ago my male cousin, when he was in grade school, pleaded for a doll. His father said "no way." His mother bought him one anyway. He only played with it out of site of his father. He and I had great fun playing dolls. He is definitely heterosexual.

A part of healthy development is for kids to try out different things. That is the way that they eventually learn what the world is like and who they are. This process takes years. Actually some kids grow up without knowing who they are or even who they want to be. This is sad.

This process does not determine gender identity.
I predict that this is a phase. If you accept his ideas he'll move on to something else. If you have a negative reaction to his choices he may cling to them. Your acceptance or criticism will affect his self-esteem. My cousin thinks that he has no worth. Of course his father was stern and critical in a lot of areas. And that was not your question.

It does seem that your son is going all out in the direction of girly things. Perhaps he sees ads or programs on TV that have sparked his interest. Does he have a friend who is a girl and he wants to be like her? Maybe he's identifying with you, his mother. This is one of the normal stages of development.

I wouldn't worry, if I were you. He is "normal."

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions