We just recently moved to a new house about a week ago. My son just turned 3 and has always slept in his crib all night. After our move we also decided to put him in a toddler bed. His first night he woke up a couple times and went back to sleep and the last time he woke up he wanted to go sleep with me and my husband. So we let him. After a couple of nights in the toddler bed and not sleeping good, I watched him sleep in the toddler bed and there just is not enough room for him. Anyway, we decided to put him back in his crib but he only sleeps a few hours and then wants to come sleep with us. Every time he wakes up if we are not around he is calling for us, As soon as we put him in our bed he goes to sleep, even if I get up from there he is looking for me if he wakes up. Before he would always go back to sleep on his own. I figured its because everything is so new but now I think he is getting use to sleeping with us, which he has never done before. Just need some tips on how to make him more comfortable in his own room so that he can sleep all night again without us.
Thanks for all the replies. When we initially went shopping for the toddler bed my son went with us, he was so excited to get the buzz lightyear bed and comforter set. He liked sleeping in it and he fits he just moves around to much and his feet end up hanging over the side which I think might have been waking him up. Now we have transitioned him back to the crib, which I think he feels more secure as he says, "I won't fall out" (he sleeps good in big beds also,(Queen size) as thats where he sleeps at Grandma's). It has been 1 week in the house and last night was the longest he has slept in his room. He did not wake up until 5:45 this morning, which is a little early but I am happy he slept so long without coming to our room. One other thing that may be waking him up is that our heater is not working and it gets really cold at night, so I'm sure that isn't helping either. We will leave him in his crib for a while until he is really comfortable with sleeping in his room and then transition him to a full size bed which he is excited about.
What does he do for naps? Do you spend time in his room with him playing so that he can become more comfortable in there? I too believe he has just gotten used to sleeping with you. I've heard it takes only 3 days t form a habit, but 21 to break one.
try setting his room up differently,
my mother had un holy hell with my little brother after he was put into a toddler bed and she moved the room around and he slept better.
sometimes a change can tell a child that "this is how its being done this is the end of the discussion"
and i also advise not to bring your child into your bed with you and your husband simply because he knows you will and this is what he wants.
you will probably experience a few tantrums along the way but they will be worth it in the long run.
Your son is most likely getting used to sleeping with you, but after a move he may also need some extra cuddles. Here is the compromise plan we have used with our son. If he wants to climb in bed with us we tell him he can for a few minutes then he will have to go back to his bed. A few minutes is usually 5- 15, unless I fall asleep. He can only do this once per night. The first couple of nights he may cry when you put him back in his bed but don't give in. Soon you will just need to whisper, "time to go back to bed" and he will. If you need to, tell him that if he doesn't follow these new rules about limited co-sleeping he will not be allowed to crawl into your bed at all.
Greetings K., Since we made many moves being in the military with 5 children I understand the concern and fear your little one has. With all the change he isn't sure what else will change and it is safe with mom and dad.
I know that we made sure that the children's rooms were set up with old and new exciting things that made it safe to be there. Try nap time in the bedroom and then instead of sleeping with you -give him a sleeping bag on the floor next toyou- that may make him more willing to go to his bed/ or take the time to sit and read to him in his room until he falls asleep. It won't matter what you read my husband read : westerns, scriptures, & school books it is the sound of your voice and the soothing tone. It will take a little time and patience but know that you will all make it through this. Hang in there!
You were right, you tried to introduce too many new things at once. I know that it makes sense to our adult minds to transition him to a new bed during a move but it is hard for a small brain to understand. =) Especially now that you transitioned him into the toddler bed and then went back to the crib. He doesn't have any way to ask you what you are doing and the only thing that has stayed stable is you and YOUR bed. It makes sense that he would seek comfort there.
I suggest that you stick with the crib for now (since you already changed him back to it). Let him be in it for about 6 months and then introduce him to the junior bed or a normal twin. As for him wanting to be with you now, be willing to put up with some upset for at least a week. Make sure he has a nice long warm bath before bed, a story, a cuddle. Even be willing to sit with him for a while before putting him in bed. Once he is there if he cries go in and give him a pat, get him settled again and LEAVE him there. Walk away. He is wanting to know that you aren't going to leave him in this alien home.
Unfortunately you may have to let him cry a bit. Obviously you don't want him to get hysterical but understand that he needs to figure out that it is ok to be in his crib alone. Give him things to play with in his crib, make sure he is dressed warmly (he may be getting cold if he is kicking off his covers, I love footie pjs).
Always give something new at least a week to work, with the understanding that it may not be fun for you in the process. We all need time to adjust to change, even kids.
Good luck. =) This too shall pass.....
My daughter is 3.5. We moved mid-Oct & had big sleep issues as well. She aslo was coming into our bed, which she had not done once in awhile, but we were always able to quash with firmness.
We thought after about a week she should be used to the new house & that is was time to lay down the law again, but it didn't work. A month after the move, at my exhausted wit's end, I spoke with her peditrician. He smiled knowingly as he informed me that it can take up to 6 months for a child to adjust to such a big change! I'm sure I looked absolutely horrified. "What about her getting too used to sleeping with us?"
"You successfully laid down the law when she was younger. The foundation is there. You'll be able to do it again. My question to you, is how big of a fight & struggle do you want it to be?"
So we talked to her, ackowledged her fears, & gave up fighting her on it. After 2 nights she started coming up only when she woke up in the morning before me - to lay in our bed, or a little travel bed we have set up next to ours. Of course there have been regressions, depending on what's going on, but there have been several whole weeks where she sleeps the whole night by herself. I think next month will probably be the one that we make the transition reclaiming our space. We'll see.
Maybe check with your pediatrician?
Good luck!!
Let him help you personalize it. Even if it's just a new bedspread. You have to be firm with him about staying in his bed. The more you allow him to sleep with you, the harder it will be to get him stay in his. A good "tuck in" and bedtime story usually helps my little ones get settled in bed and I always leave a special stuffed animal in their bed to keep them company all night.
Dear K.,
Sleeping in a new house can be strange even for older kids. It's not that unusual.
There is a very simple thing you can do to make all of you happy. While he is getting adjusted, if he feels the need to be in your bed, that's fine, just make sure he wakes up every morning in his own bed. It's not as hard as it sounds. Kids can have a tummy ache, have a bad dream, see a shadow and want in your bed, but waking up in their own bed lets them know they are okay and doesn't establish an idea that they can't sleep or wake up anywhere else. Since this is a new situation, you might try laying down with your little one which is way easier to do on a toddler or twin bed and letting them know that their new room is safe. Trust me...you child may get sick or something and the comfort of your bed is awesome, but even at 8 years old, waking up in their own bed is for the best.
Wow, my son is 3 1/2 and has been in his twin bed for a little over two years! I can't imagine him trying to sleep in a tiny toddler bed or a crib!! Maybe you can take him out and buy him a big boy bed and let him help pick everything out and make it a big huge deal! Super exciting! =0) Maybe that will help. My firstborn was the same way........in her twin bed when she was right about 18mths old.
If his toddler bed is too small, then the crib will be too as it's the same sized mattress. I recommend getting a twin or full sized mattress and put it on the floor or just get a bed for him. It may take awhile with everything else that is new for him to stay in there all night but at least you could lay down with him instead of him getting into bed with you each night.
