Son Likes Girl Stuff a Lot!

I think that is a cute story. I would not read to much into it. It is just a phase. I used to be a nanny for a little boy, and he went through the exact same thing. He is now 14 and very much into sports and guy things. You son will outgrow it.

I say get him the pink shoes.

I hate that society dictates what we do and how we do it -- especially in something as inconsequential as fashion. My brother used to dress up as a girl, complete with bra. (He's just fine now by the way -- probably a better adjusted adult than I am actually.)

My male cousin used to watch us girls paint our nails. He wanted his painted to! So, we did. His dad about lost his head. He was so angry and didn't want his son to be gay. How ridiculous is that. I know you said you're not worried about that, but I have a suspicion that may be why your family is telling you not to do it. (By the way, my cousin is now 17 and a proper manly man, who laughs about his nail-painting days.)


I teach high school and when we do an in-class drama and I let the kids dress up, I can almost guarantee at least 3 - 5 boys will jump at the chance to play a female role, for the purpose of wearing a dress and heels.

And, by the way, many of our toughest guys here at the high school have been wearing pink. One even has a shirt that says, "Tough guys wear pink." So, maybe look for a shirt like that for him to wear, or have one made ... I don't know!

Of course you don't want your son to be made fun of, however, you also want him to be an individual. He's only two!

I think even "big kids" who see him will realize how cute it is that a two-year-old has such a strong opinion about what he wears. (Most people with a shred of common sense will know that *YOU* didn't pick out pink shoes for your little boy - that it is *he* who is expressing his individuality.) Anyone, (especially an adult) besides maybe another two-year-old who makes fun of a two-year-old for anything is messed up!

I don't have any sons, so this is from a mother of daughter's perspective, and I know it's different but here goes. I've taken both of my daughters into public places dressed in fairy wings, plaid and polka-dots, Christmas socks pulled up to the knees (in the summer), with bunny ears, with fake horn-rimmed glasses, with big black tattoos all over arms (done in secret with Sharpies, too late for mom to catch) -- You get the picture. Did anyone ever say - "Look at the way that mother dresses her kids!" Nope. I usually get comments like, "I've been there honey!" or "Looks like some one dressed herself this morning!" etc. I think you will have a similar reaction to pink shoes on your little boy. And, for people who are too dense to figure it out -- oh well!

I sense that you know what you want to do, but your family is contradicting your feelings with their own opinions. I think you should go with your motherly instincts in this. Do what *you* think is right for your little boy, whether that means staying in line with what society and your family say -- or going against the grain. Whatever you feel is right is right and no matter what - as you - a mother of FOUR - already know, I'm sure, mothering is always a learning experience.

My son is 4 has an older sister who is 5 and has always enjoyed playing with her clothes and things. I have always let him and encouraged him to be himself, whoever that is. But, I did buy him a pant, shirt, tie and vest with shoes for him, it gave him the chance to feel all dressed up, and be a boy. But, he still wears pink heels we bought at a garage sale when he plays house and he is the Mommy. His favorite color has been pink for as long as it was his sister's favorite. Don't sweat it, he is just being a 2 year old kid, maybe you can encourage some other shoes if you are uncomfortable buying the pink ones.
T.

my son who is now 3, went thru a little of that around that same age.he wanted to put my make up on,, i think only because he saw me doing it.. i think that's a lot of it with boys. they see their moms doing certain things or other girls(mom like) and want to be like mom.
i don't see anything wrong with a boy liking pink. maybe instead of shoes, a compromise could be a polo or easter buttom up shirt. how about pj's ? lol
i understand about rude people. and i haven't had to think much about this myself yet in regards to my own two kids. but i wonder out loud(after reading your post). at what age do we start teaching our kids to not let what others think/say about us dictate how we see/feel about ourselves?
thinking for the future i guess. :-))
i also think the girl facination is a phase.. both my 2 and 3 year old have already gone thru plenty of phases..lol..lol

good luck..
also.. whheewwwwwweeeeeeeeeeee... you are a strong woman with 4 kids so close together.. and you're so young.. i know i couldn't do it..lol..i'm 39 with two.. some days i wonder what i'm doing..lol..
T.

Boys are always curious about girl things no matter what age. My son at 12 would put on dresses and paint his nails and dance to the song "I Feel Like a Woman" It is just something different and fun memories. If you get those shoes for your son, maybe you could tell him to where them around the house and just when he is with you. That way if you run into rude people you can kinda explain to your son why they are acting that way. I feel if you tell him no about the girl things his curiousity will only rise more and may cause worse problems down the road.

public cultural opinions are influencing this issue Let him have them just to 'play' with . Don't reall y talk about iy or let your family make an issue in front of him. Lots of men wear pink shirts/C.

This is definately a tough one. As a fairly liberal woman and mother, I would say get them for him. Who's gonna tease a 2 year old (other than his brother and sisters, and you could explain it to them)? However, this may not be the best choice for you. He is obviously at an age where you don't want to deny him the things he wants, especially if they are not physically harmful to him. Perhaps a compromise? Let him where/have a pair of your daughter's pink shoes to where at home. It ultimately comes down to him being happy. Keep that in mind whatever you do and good luck!!

Hi M.:

I just want to tell you that both of my boys liked girl things too, even painted their fingernails a few times. Yeah, I thought it strange too. But both of them are totally into boy things now so I think it must be an age thing. They were about the same age as your boy. I really wouldn't worry about it to tell you the truth. It is hard when everyone else is saying it's not right. My boys are as boyish as they can get now so really I wouldn't worry too much.
You've got a large family. It's so great having kids. I have three kids and it's so much fun. Seems to be easier for me now that my kids are a little older. I do have a 4 year old girl but even she's getting so much more independent.
Hope all is well and God bless you.

T.

I basically agree with what everyone else has said. I have a 2 yr old boy and it's just him, his older sister and myself. So, he sees lots of girl stuff. As soon as he started understanding, I've always stressed that he's a boy and we are girls. My daughter likes dressing him up and he enjoys it too, but he knows what is 'girl' stuff and 'boy' stuff. For awhile, before he was two, he liked to walk around in pair of heeled shoes I have, but he got past that. I think it's all fine, since like everyone else has said they are just curious about everything.

From one M. to another...I am a mom of 4 boys and 1 girl. All 4 of my boys went through this stage that you are describing. Letting your son wear "girl" things and play with "girl" things will not harm him in any imaginable way. Don't let your family, friends, or anyone else dictate what you feel is ok for your own children. Let your son wear the pink shoes. Who says pink is just for girls?? My sons are now ages 18, 12, (almost)6, and 4, and as I said they've all gone through this and are fine. They did the whole dressing up in "girl" clothes, painting toenails and fingernails, playing with dolls, etc. I believe all kids should be allowed the opportunity to explore. We shouldn't allow society to fence us in because of what others think is inappropriate. Let him be himself, he'll be fine. And anyone who makes fun of a 2 year old isn't worth your time worrying about anyway! :)

Hi Mellisa,
I would just get him some dress up shoes. He has an older sister and if she has any that she's out grow let him wear them. If they are to big then he can't go outside and play in them and more for just around the house. "Your family says that you should not buy them" is that your husband to or his dad? Or just family members? If you see it as ok then go for it. Boys like pretty things to. Do the older kids laugh when he plays with girl toys? Would they give him a hard time for wearing them? If not then why not? My son is 5 and loves to get his toe and finger nails painted. I try to stick to blues and greens and such but sometimes he just wants red. The only problem is that this is the only way I can trim his nails. He wont let me just trim them. We have to do the whole thing. Good luck you sound like you have your hands full.
J.

Hi M.!
LOL!! Your request couldn't have come on a better day! LOL! My grandson showed up at my house today with make-up ALL OVER his body!! LOL! Mommie was just a little upset, but good ol' granny reminded her of being age three and just curious! After a well deserved bath, he looked like a little boy again. LOL! He plays with Barbies, plays dress up in girl clothes, likes to have his nails painted, and even enjoys it when my girls do his hair! It doesn't mean he's any less a boy, just having fun and exploring all options. That's what little ones do. That's how they learn. As for the pink shoes....who cares? If he likes them and you're ok with it, then go for it! My brother never outgrew his love for the color pink. He did however, outgrow his desire to wear it. LOL!! God bless you, Sweetie, for being an incredible mom and encouraging his individuality!!!

Just Me!
S.

When my son was around the same age he LOVED the Power Puff Girls cartoon. In fact, he dressed up like one for halloween when he was 3, and also picked out lavendar Power Puff girl bedding, with pink hearts all over it. Plus he liked to have his toenails painted when I painted mine. This all freaked out his Father and Grand Father. He is now 9 1/2 years old and there is nothing girley about him. He is ALL boy!! He get's really embarassed when I talk about his love of the Power Puff Girls.

At your son's age, he is too young to tell the difference between what is considered boy or girl. He just sees the bright color that attracts him. Don't worry! He will be fine.

He's 2, let him have the shoes. My cousin is the same way (he's now 4) and LOVED Dora and everything that went along with it. His favorite thing in the world was his pink Dora shirt. Who is your son going to get teased by? If it's your other children then you can handle that, if it's an adult then shame on them, but I would imagine it's a phase, and speaking from experience they grow out of it. My cousin still loves Dora, but has moved on to Thomas and Friends and Bob the Builder. If you don't care if he's gay, why care about what he likes to play with? If he ends up gay then he does, if he gets teased then he does, but if it makes him happier than anything isn't it worth it? I think this is a situation where you pick your battles. Hope this helps :)

I think you should just get them for him! Maybe he is responding to you being so interested in him not wanting this stuff. Maybe its his rebelious streak and if you act like its not a big deal he will soon forget about that stuff. I would say don't worry about what other people think and if he gets teased that is what he will have to deal with. He will soon learn what society expects his behavior to be. I have never understood why we are so hard on little boys about stuff like that anyways. I encourage my son to role play with dolls, vacuums, kitchen sets etc. I think they need to learn to be fathers and husbands by learning to take care of dolls etc. What woman doesn't want a guy with this "feminine" side? I know I would like it more if my husband helped out more with the kids and housework!

I think it is just a phase. My little girl didn't want anything to do with dresses or skirts when she was 2 and 3, she was a runner, jumper, climber. But now she is almost 5 she is asking for more dresses and skirts.

If he wants to "play dress up" in the girls clothes I don't think that is any big deal, he is probably just minicing his older sisters.