Son Falls and Won't Let Me Inspect the Injuryy

Updated on July 01, 2011
A.L. asks from New York, NY
12 answers

My 3 year old son will fall either off his bike or when he is running and scrapes his knee or elbow. When this happens he will not let me look at the scrape. He wants to be held but then says "don't look at me". He wants to be held until he stops crying then he is back to playing. He also wears his band-aid on any minor scrape at least a week longer when the area is clearly healed. Has anyone had any experience with this?

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E.B.

answers from Seattle on

all my kids refuse to show me boo boos.

Eventually they will phase through it.

My oldest is six and is now letting me clean things up.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

My kid does the whole band-aid thing. He gets the slightest little scrape and wants a band-aid pronto! Just wanted to let you know you're not alone...

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

Yes, and all you can do is play along. Look at the injury when he is not paying attention. If he is back on his bike like nothing happened, quite likely the injury isn't that bad and he only needed some mommy attention and a brand new band-aid for his "injuries"...

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

If he were actually injured, he would let you know. The pain would be too much or he'd be bleeding profusely or he wouldn't be able to wiggle away and go off and play again. It sounds like he has really good coping skills. I had to teach my daughters these skills.

"Whoops! No blood! That was brilliant! You're okay!"

"Oh! Would you look at that! No broken teeth! Awesome job!"

"Wow, that was a great fall!" ::claps::

"I'm so proud of you! Your bones are all straight and there's no swelling! Way to go!"

Part of it is about not having them panic, but paying attention to things that would indicate something being wrong.

So now when my 6 year old falls, I hear, "I'm okay! I'm not bleeding!" "All my teeth are still there! I'm fine!" Except for the time my 10 year old accidentally kicked her in the mouth and a tooth did come out... yeah.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Common.
Many kids do this.
My son too.
He's 4.
My daughter too.
She's 8.
They just don't want to be fussed over, or looked at, or feel self-conscious or don't want a ruckus made out of it, or just want to get back to playing.

And sure, they like to wear their Band-Aid.
My son too.
Just a few days ago he got a MINOR cut on his thumb. Kept wanting to put Band-Aids on but didn't want me to look.
Fine.
Oh well.
The cut was already gone.

Kids.
No biggie.
Its a minor indulgence.

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

Mine want to wear their bandaids forever. My 2 yr old (almost 3) doesn't want me to look at her owies. I'm not sure why! My older daughter, when she was younger, didn't want us to look either. My son never cared. I sometimes wonder if it's our reaction that makes them shy away from looking at it because it scares them somehow?

Anyway, totally normal:-)

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C.A.

answers from New York on

My daughter is 3 also and she won't let me look at it either. She cries for a few minutes and then tells me that it will go away. She was into the band aids but doesn't want them anymore. After awhile I will ask her if I can see it. She tells me no and then I tell her that I just want to see and I promise I won't touch it. I think that its pretty normal at this age. I have had alot of parents tell me that their kids do or did the same thing.

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter does that. A few weeks ago she fell and scraped her knee and face. She didn't want me to look at it but I think it was more to the fact that I had to clean the wound and she knew that it was going to hurt. She does this no matter what the wound is. The scrape on her knee required a band aid to cover it and she refused to let me change it. I always go out of it by making the bandaid come off in the bath water but otheriwse it stayed on until I just refused to put another one on.

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D.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'd let it go.. if he was dripping blood, it'd be time to grab him and sit him down to get a good look and make a decision of how bad it really is, but otherwise its probably just a scrap. If you really want to put something on it, buy one of those spray on antibacterial sprays, Bactine makes one or use dermoplast (its a red can). With scraps, they hurt cause the nerves are suddenly closer to the surface so of course your kid doesn't want you to look at it - cause if you look, you'll want to touch and touching makes it hurt more! lol.

As far as the bandaid... he probably doesn't want you to take it off. A real easy trick is to use baby oil. Most bandaids will slide right off after you smear some baby oil on the sticky parts without any pulling on the skin. And with a well scabbed boo-boo, the baby oil won't hurt. So you can let the bandaid stay on for a week and just as the injury is almost healed, a bit of baby oil on the bandaid will help take it off. You could even do it while he's sleeping if he won't let you touch the bandaid (and you don't want him to play with the baby oil, lol.)

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M.T.

answers from New York on

If he's not bleeding and it's just a little scrape, why is it necessary for you to inspect it? Take it from me as a mom to a 12 and a 16 year old, don't make a big issue over a little booboo. If he's not really bleeding, let him have responsibility for washing his own boo boo. Some kids are obsessed with band aids. They actually think it makes the booboo "better," or make it stop hurting, they don't realize it's just a covering to keep it clean. Nothing to make a big deal over.

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My son did and still does the same thing. Drives me crazy b/c of course you need to see the wound. He holds his hand over it and really refuses to show me. Sometimes I have to even bribe him to show it. My only guess is that he does not want me to freak out as I am prone to do sometimes. Its one thing I would do differently if given the chance-remain calm in a crisis.

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N.B.

answers from Jamestown on

It sounds like he is ashamed of any imperfections that are caused by the "boo-boo". Have you tried showing him your scars to let him know they are normal?

Nanc

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