Someone Please Help Me with This DRAMA!

I think role playing with her might help.

She can say things like "we all have more than O. friend" or "you're my friend and Suzy is too. Do you know her? Susie, this is Mary" etc.

If this "friend hoarding" is extreme (sounds like it is) I think the teacher needs to be MORE aware of it. I know a little girl that was having the same issue with a girl in her class and it got to the point where the parents AND teacher had to get involved.

I tell my kid that he will meet new kids every year and some will be friends, some will be buddies, some-merely classmates. I've always told him that he doesn't have to like everyone but every kid has an equal right to be there, so be respectful.

Why don't you ask the teacher to keep them apart? Tell the teacher why (this girl is being a bully and keeping her from her friends). Explain to the teacher that you are working with your daughter on how to deal with people with strong personalities, but she can't do it all alone yet...so could the teacher please help.

You are escalating the drama by stressing your daughter about it. Your daughter shouldn't have to be so afraid to talk to you about it that she LIES to you...which tells me that you are playing a part in the drama as well.

She needs to learn to place boundaries. To tell this other girl "look, we can have more than one friend, and if you don't like that, I can't be friends with you because I want to have LOTS of friends!"

Best of luck.

I think it's too harsh to tell your daughter she is "lying" when she doesn't tell you about a girl bullying her. Gotta agree with Cheryl B. - that sounds a little bully-ish itself.

Are you a little overbearing with your daughter? I don't know you, I'm just asking, because you could be part of the problem. Please don't be offended, like I said, I don't know you. I just can't imagine accusing my kid of lying when I was asking her if someone bullied her. It seems counterproductive.

But if your daughter wants help to stand up to this girl, role-playing is the best tactic.

First of all, how do you know your daughter complimented this girl the minute she walked into the classroom? Were you there?

You are bullying your daughter as well.

The other girl is not bullying your daughter; she may be bullying the other little girl but her attacks are now not directed to your daughter.

You should also teach your daughter empathy so that when someone says things to her like you're a mean person if you don't share your food with me, your daughter can know that it comes from a place of insecurity so instead of being intimated by it, she can feel sorry for the little girl because she simply does not know how to be a friend. That's sad.

Again, I think you're bullying your daughter and that you should stay out of it unless the attacks are directed to your daughter again.

I just want to let you know that I don't understand what some other posters are talking about- I think you described your daughter as very nice and compassionate and you are appropriately trying to help her in a situation that's distressing her.
Anyway, I think you may politely ask the teacher for more assistance. Maybe she have a class discussion or just a talk with the other girl about how we have to let others make their own choices/ can't boss friends around or keep them to yourself.
I also agree in trying role playing with your daughter. Maybe have your daughter play the friend and say some of the things she says and you play your daughter- modeling some things she could say, like, "I like being with you in class, but right now I'm going to play with ___. Pease stop getting in my way".
Also, I agree that you could try and foster a relationshop with another child in her class. Some one who can then maybe support your daughter when issues arise with this other child- maybe the teacher can give you friend suggestions.

You're using very inflammatory and negative language to describe your own daughter. I find that distressing. Your daughter sounds much more compassionate and patient than you do. Maybe you ought to take some lessons on how to handle people from your daughter and back off of her. Let her handle the situation and see how it plays out, and stop accusing her of lying. I have a feeling that maybe your perception is a little off and that most of the drama is coming from you rather than the girls.

It's still early in the year, have you thought of moving her to another classroom?
Can the school's counselor help?
It's hard for some 7yr olds ( and some adults) to be strong enough to stick up and 'be mean' to someone. (Its really sticking up for yourself, but many children feel like they are being mean.) She shouldn't do this alone.
If you've already discussed this with the teacher then I believe you should get administration involved. They are busy, too, so I would schedule an appointment with him/her.

What about the other girls in her class? Have you encouraged your daughter to reach out to them? Or invited them over for play dates?
Some girls are attracted to the "mean girl" drama, as a classroom aide I have seen it time and time again. You can ask the teacher to monitor the situation, but the best thing you can do is expose your daughter to as many different potential friends as possible. Having play dates is great, as is signing up for sports, classes, Girl Scouts, etc.
Widen her social circle and she'll be less obsessed with this bossy, demanding girl.

Have you talked with the teacher about what she might be seeing in class. I'm sure you can ask her to have your daughter sit with another girl in her class.

Your situation practically mimics my 6th grade daughter and her bully BFF. They have been friends for 10 very LONG months and I feel your pain. Keep the communication open with your daughter as much as possible. Ask her how her day is going, how is her friend doing, was she being nice today or mean, etc. Also keep talking to her teacher to keep her updated even though she may not want to be very involved. I don't know the teacher but she may be sick of the drama and/or she simply doesn't have experience with it or know how to handle it. The 5th grade teacher we had last year was good at emailing but wasn't good at dealing/talking with the girls effectively and ultimately was very impatient with my daughter and her BFF. Also involve the school councelor so that he/she is aware this is going on as well. Our middle school councelor has been helpful for my daughter and I. She has talked to my daughter to try to teacher her some stratagies on how to stick up for herself. She also taught us that my daughter isn't innocent in all of this drama either. That was hard to hear but I realized she is right. Just give your daughter lots of hugs and lots and lots of support but try not to freak out and get emotional yourself. She needs you to be strong and encourage her but to also just guide her and not take over and tell her what to do. I forbid my daughter to talk to her BFF and this made them want to talk to each other even more! Now that I've backed off things are going better. Your daugther is only 7 and she needs help and guidance on HOW to stick up for herself and to do it assertively and effectively. My daughter is 11 and still can't stick up for herself but she is making small improvements. She confronted her BFF yesterday for calling her a hippo behind her back and her BFF lied and denied it. I told my daughter that i was proud of her for confronting her and that it took a lot of courage to do that. It is REALLY hard for these girls to know what to do and to actually put words into action. HOpefully the councelor can help you both deal with this. Also, please read the book "Little Girls Can Be Mean". This book is such a blessing! It will help you and your daughter work together as a team on how to deal with this drama.
Good luck and God Bless!