Someone in School Is Stealing from My 10 Year Old.

I had the same issue as a kid. I was bullied and had things stolen. The way I resolved it was to put a lock on my backpack, so no one could open the pockets to steal my money or school supplies when I was standing in front of them in line. I told the teachers and they didn't care, I had bigger issues that the principal ignored, I am glad that teachers (seem to be) more proactive when it comes to these things, rather than sweeping it under the carpet and dismissing it as "kids being kids." I would try both the lock and having her report the thefts to her teacher, just in case the teacher doesn't follow through.

We have gone through this. Make sure it is reported so they know what is happening. One of the mom's in my daughter's school was having this problem constantly. She bought those things that you can track, little stickers like you can put on your remote and then do a GPS thing on your smartphone. The 2 girls were caught.

This is a great learning opportunity for your daughter. I'm sure the school has a procedure in place for missing items. Have your daughter (without accusing anyone) report the items missing. That way if things escalate there is a "paper trail" at school. There's no need for you to get involved at this point.

it's never okay for stuff to be stolen. your daughter is not a baby and should talk to the teacher herself about this. it's your job to teach her life skills, and this is a good one.

what bothers me about this post more than your daughter coping with theft is that you've somehow tangled it up with her social group. could be the girl you don't like, for sure, but theft isn't something peculiar to Queen Bees, and 10 year olds can be careless.

if you really think your daughter has fallen in with a den of thieves then you should be working with her on finding a new group of friends instead of making this yours to fix by going to the teacher on your 'sensible academic well liked' daughter's behalf.

greater vigilance, a loud and confident announcement to her friends that her stuff is going missing and she won't take it lying down, speaking to the teacher herself and limiting contact with girls who don't like her are all better steps to take than you infantilizing her by fixing it for her.

empower your daughter.
khairete
S.

I would encourage your daughter to inform her teacher.

At this age, I think that's it's good for your daughter to learn how to handle it herself first - then if it escalates, reach out.

The pens are tough to trace and could be due to her carelessness I suppose, but her lunchbox with her name on it is pretty brazen.

I agree it's time for her to speak up to the teacher and also report to the office and find the lost & found to at least go through the motions of looking.

She could also take a break from this group for a few days and see if the thefts stop. I'd suggest she calmly and confidently announce to the group that her lunchbox and two pens have miraculously disappeared and she hopes everyone will be on the lookout. She should not look nervous or emotional - just mad. It's fine for her to look this one girl in the eye while making the announcement.

Put a small combination lock on her backpack zipper and tell her, under no circumstances, is she to share the combination with anyone. Don't set it for her birthday or other number others will be able to guess.

I don't think you should go speak to the teacher at all. I think your daughter should do it. At most, you should drop a quick email but be careful about accusing one girl when your daughter has no proof. But it's time for your daughter to become empowered to advocate for herself. If she can't talk about a lunchbox and 2 pens, that's a problem you need to work on.

Every response here says that your *daughter* should be the one to speak to the teacher, and yet you still say that you plan to speak to the teacher yourself. So, I have no reason to believe that you will take my advice either, but here it is!

I think your daughter should be the one to speak to the teacher. This is a great learning experience for your daughter to take the wheel in solving a problem and advocating for herself.

I also think that until this problem "cools down" your daughter might want to revise what she brings to school - paper bag lunch, plain pens, etc. It will be good to solve the problem and good for the girls to stop but that might not replace any items that are stolen in the meantime. Especially if for some reason your daughter does not want to stop being around these girls.

I would suggest letting your daughter speak to the teacher herself, if she wants to. I'd also gently advise her to keep a closer eye on her belongings, and to not bring anything super special or valuable to school. If it is someone trying to bully her, they may be waiting and watching for your daughter's sad/mad/frustrated reaction. I'd tell her not to give them the satisfaction of ANY reaction at school around the other kids, even though it's understandable that she would be upset. I'd be willing to bet if someone is targeting her, they will lose interest if they can't easily grab someone of hers, and they aren't seeing any kind of reaction from your daughter.

I am late to the responses here and per your SWH, I am sure you will ignore what I say since you are ignoring the majority of the responses.

Your daughter is 11. Yes that sounds young but NOT too young to stand up for herself and manage this on her own. When she manages her conflicts with friends on her own she will be more confident, be respected and it will help her immensely in the long run.

I know as a mom, you want to run in to the teacher and protect your baby... We ALL do.

It is vital that our children learn to stand up for themselves... if not.. it sets them up for failure later with potential employment, friends, and more.

get some ugly stuff, and cheap stuff too, that way its either too ugly to be taken or it will be taken and the thief will have ugly junk.
but also report the stuff missing. like mamazita said. paper trail.

You are not giving any reason that the 'mean girl' did it other than intuition. Not saying you are wrong, yet you/your daughter has the burden of proof.

Not sure what the teacher can do based on the info you gave us. Your daughter needs to catch her in the act of stealing or see her using the pens.

I use to have pens and pencils custom made with my name on them. My grandmother use to buy them for all her grandkids. Made it easy to keep track of them.