I just spent $300 on a new bed for my 4 year old son since he had out grown his toddler bed. I can not get him to sleep in it. He wants to sleep out on the living room sofa every night. His dad swears that at his house our son sleeps in his bed. I want to be able to come home from work at night and watch tv and relax in the living room with out having to sit on the love seat since the sofa is occupied. I tried to move him once he is asleep but he always wakes up and comes back out to the living room. Getting him to fall asleep in his room is near impossable. Any advise I will listen.
get a futon! I have two children like that! 5 and 6! They have been like that forever. I recently bought a futon and they love it! IT is a bed and sofa!!!
did you immediately take the toddler bed out of the room when the new one arrived? It could be because it's new and "bigger" so bigger is intimidating. with our son, he was sleeping in the toddler bed but we were going to need it for his sister so we just set up the big bed next to his toddler bed and let him choose the bed he would nap in or sleep at night in. Sometimes i think it helped having the toddler bed right next to the big bed because he could climb it like a step up into it. After about 2 weeks he was pretty consistently choosing the big boy bed. so we started laying the ground work that the "baby" bed was going to go away. (in say 2 days) and we talked about the bed being "put away". I think boys need that time to absorb a change b4 the change happens. When he comes down, if you're immediate about taking him back up, he'll eventually get used to it. But you may feel like it's an eternity. Even if you move him, if he comes out, just be consistent in taking him back, "no, your bed is upstairs/in your room." He's been allowed to sleep on the couch so it has become a boundary he can push. Kids seem to be about doing it their way, so if they find an opening they'll milk it for all it's worth. good luck.
sounds like he just wasn't adjusted yet to the idea of a new bed
This was the hardest thing I ever did, but you have to put him in his bed. If he cries, set next to the bed a rub his little head until he falls asleep. A night light may also help. When he does wake up to go onto the couch, redirect him to his bed. It may take a week, but its worth it. Ask him where he wants his bed to be.. maybe just across the room..that way he feels like hes getting to be a big boy by making choices in his situation. Try throwing his favorite stuffie or blankie on there so that he feels safe, and its familiar. Just don't give up. A few tears are harder on you, than they are on him.
Your gonna have to get stern about it. Have a talk with him, tell him big boys sleep in there own rooms. Tell him it would make you very proud of him if he would sleep in his room. The proud thing usually works with my four year old. If it doesn't work then maybe try an award system. make a chart and let him put a sticker on it when he sleeps on his room. and give him a prize, not expecsive of course. maybe a pop tart for breakfast or something he doesn't usually get. Stick to it and you might just get your sofa back and your free time. Hope this works, Chris
Hi K., I don't have much advice I actually am in the same boat with my son. He turned 5 in May and he sleeps with me or on the couch. I have never been successful at getting him to sleep in his own bed. I started letting him sleep in my bed when he was only a few months old and now I don't know how to make it stop. I also have a daughter who is 2 and I swore I wouldn't make the same mistake twice but for a while we have been living with my parents (due to seperation from their father)and she doesn't have her own bed there and now they are both in bed with me. I need some help to if you recieve any good news pass it on! Thanks and good luck!
Hi K.:
Did you try putting "cool" sheets on the bed, a favorite character or theme? That and a stuffed toy worked for my son, he never would sleep in his bed he still at times years later will come out of his room in the middle of the night and find him on the couch, but not often at all. That is all I can suggest.
Does he get to watch the TV out there? If he does, that might be what he wants and that is how it MIGHT be at dad's. Have you tried to sit in his room with him when he goes to bed? Try that. And watch how he sleeps. I don't know what else to say. If its the TV thing, would you let him have one in his room? And make the TV a privillge. That might also work. Just keep trying.
Hi K.!
Did your working nights happen at the same time as changing the bed, or is this a normal thing? Who stays with him while you are at work? If it's not an separation issue, then maybe he just misses the coziness of his old bed, and maybe you could try getting him a bunch of big fluffy pillows and put them all around him on his bed. You can put character pillows on there too, and stuffed animals, and make going to bed a big event, because he's so lucky he gets all this stuff in his bed.
Unfortunately the longer you let him do it, the harder it will be stopping it. This summer we just moved my 3 year old to a "big" bed. The first couple of nights he loved the idea. Then out of the blue he decided he didn't like it. His father travels a lot during the week, so I'm the one who has to set down the rules and stick to them. I asked what the problem was and he really didn't have a reason. So I told him that that was his room and his bed and that he had to sleep in it. I explained that his older sisters sleep in their own beds. He fought sleep for a few nights, but eventually got adjusted. You've just got to let them know the rules and stick to your guns. (or let who ever is watching him at that time know that you will no longer allow him to sleep on the sofa and you want him in his bed when you get home.) At 4 he is probably trying to assert his independence and see where the boundaries really are.
