13 Month Old Wont Sleep by Himself

Oh dear, you are in a tight spot. You really have to allow him to freak out and then, he has to calm himself down. It's really hard Ad, but, please don't wait or it will only get worse. If all is well with his health, then you let him cry himself to sleep...do the routine nightly things such as, tubby with a book to follow, no t.v., just together time. I gave my child a small bowl of hot cereal before bedtime, I thought that being in her tummy would help calm her and allow her to relax. Soft bedtime songs, prayers then off to the crib with kisses, and a firm "goodnight" I see that you have 3 children, so I do not know when they all go to bed...I suspect he is last since he has had a habit of the couch, I don't know. Regardless, this has to become a nightly ritual that will wean him from the couch and into a crib. I think he's too young for a big boy bed, and I think that the crib is safer so he can't wander away from his room, especially if you are moving. I know this is the hardest thing for you to imagine, the sound of him freaking out when you put him in his crib, but it is so normal. Especially when he has been allowed to be where the action is, on the couch, even when he is asleep. The easiest thing is not the best for you or your baby, so the couch is off limits now. This is done over time, every night should be less and less time screaming and crying until the baby is asleep. You may start with maybe 20 minutes and each night is reduced until the baby goes to bed without fuss. The couch has become a habit, and now it seems he doesn't want to do what babies do, they sleep in a crib. The reason you have to let them cry themselves out is for one reason, it teaches a child how to calm themselves down, by themselves. It may not sound as valuable as it really is, but believe me, it is very important. I really hope that you stick with it, your baby should be in a crib before you move. Don't allow him/her to sleep on the couch for naps, I think that would just reinforce the bad habit and wouldn't help your situation. I did this for my grandson when he and his mom came for a long visit. He was then, 7 months old. If you think it was easy to hear him cry, it wasn't, not for his mother or myself. But, I knew it was important for his growth and development, as well as a down time during the afternoon naps and evenings for his mother. Within a week's time he was going to bed without tears or chaos. My daughter told her friend it was perhaps the best gift I had ever given her. It works A.. Again, I realize your situation is harder because of the age, but, really, if he's safe and warm, he will have a healthier sleep pattern that will carry on through the rest of his childhood. The skill of calming yourself down is something you must teach your child. It isn't something that "just happens". Good luck and know that this is really hard but very worthwhile. By the way, you will have to schedule this to benefit the rest of the children, so perhaps he has to go to bed first. Whatever you think this schedule should look like and would benefit the other children, stick to it with them. You deserve an evening free, even if it's only a couple hours...with wintertime darkness here you could start this ritual as early as 6:30. Good luck again especially with this move. Remember that other than the crying, he's safe in the crib.

My 2 year is the same way. What I do is i relate her to her favorite cartoon character which is Dora. I would say Dora sleeps in her own bed and not with her momma. She stills comes in my room in the early am but she normally sleeps in her bed now. See if this may work for you.

Whatever bed you pick for him he will be uncomfortable at first. My daughter used to sleep with me and it was horrible getting her in her own bed. I just put her in there and let her cry for a while then i would go in and comfort her let her cry a while and gave her more time in between me going in and her crying each time. She finally got used to sleeping alone. THANK GOD!! She is about five now and almost as big as me. I just bought a new bed and it took me a couple of days for me to adjust as an adult.

I don't have this problem yet. I asked my mom what she thought and she said she had the same problem with my brother when he was a baby. He wouldn't sleep by himself. He always had to have someone with him. Mom said she had a stomach virus one day and couldn't stay out of the bathroom so she had to put him in the crib so she would know where he was. She said he screamed and cried but eventually fell asleep around nap time that afternoon and that night he slept in the crib by himself. I guess it seems a little harsh but maybe it will work.

I would switch him to a regular bed. A friend of mine went straight to a futon for her son, now 4 yrs. She had an old futon set up in his room for her to sleep. He would sleep in his crib, part of the night then end up on the futon with her. At about 1 yr old he refused the crib altogether. She tried switching to a toddler bed but he would get out of it and get on the futon even though she was no longer sleeping in his room. They took down the crib/toddler bed and let him sleep on the futon. He just got new bunk beds and of course the bottom is a futon and the top is a regular bed. He sleeps on the bottom.