This is new to me. We went to the pool today and brought one of those noodle things. My daughter wasn't really playing with it and she was nice and shared it with another little girl (she was about three). So next thing I know this girls mom (who was not in the pool) is demanding that I take it away from her daughter because she will bite it. First of all I was a little taken aback at her tone, and second if she didn't want her daughter to have it shouldn't she have taken it from her? I was focused on my daughter and didn't see where this lady came from, but I know that if my daughter is going for something that she shouldn't have I cut her off at the pass, if I can't then I take it from her. My husband was closet to this girl and he didn't take it from her. When I tried she had a death grip on it. I looked at this mom for a little help and she just repeated herself. I finally told the little girl, "Sorry honey, your mommy said you can't play with this." and managed to get it away from her. But really, if her mom didn't want her to have it shouldn't SHE have been the one to do this or because it was my toy should I have been responsible? Just wondering in case I am presented with this again, this is the first time someone has told me to take something from THIER kid.
you are right- it's called LAZY PARENTING. a three year old is too young to be in the pool without an adult anyway. but she probably just assumed YOU would help the little one out if she started having trouble, too....she probably didn't want to get wet.
GRRR.
The other mom was a nut! If that were my kid who was using a shared toy and I was worried about it, I would have taken it from my kid and given it back to you and thanked you for sharing! What a loon!
That is a good one. Why didn't I think of that. I think I will tell the priest to not let my kids talk in church, the teachers should come tell my kids to do their homework, and the car dealer to tell my kids not to fight over the front seat.
I would just tell the mother that if she doesn't want her child to play with a toy then she was going to have to take it way from her. It's not your problem.
The other mom was a crappy parent. It's HER job to tell HER child not to play with something. What a dip.
I don't think you did anything wrong at all. That other mother should definitely have been watching her 3yr old (in the POOL no less!!). No, she should have been IN the pool with her daughter. And it was her responsibility to remove the noodle AND graciously give it back to you. That was just rude of her.
That being said, with my first kid, I was all about "let's share with other kids at the pool/park, etc". By the time my third kid came along, I learned that some parents are kinda picky, so I would glance over at them and ask "is it ok if your child plays with this?" before handing them the item.
It's sort of along the same lines as sharing a cracker or cookie. The *nice* thing, obviously, is to offer the treat to the 3yr old child who is staring at your own child devouring the cookie. But I would be pretty upset if someone gave my child a cookie without checking with me first. I know, not the exact same issue, and I can't imagine NOT keeping eagle-eyes on my 3yr old kid in a pool at all times, but maybe from now on, just a quick check in with the parent would ease your mind about handing over something that *seems* harmless. And please don't stop sharing, *most* parents LOVE it when cool stuff shows up at the pool and their child is given the chance to play with it.
To me, it sounds like she wanted YOU to be the bad guy even though SHE didn't want her kid playing with the toy.
I determine what my kid can/can't play with and i'm the one who intercepts or takes it away (unless my hands are full and i ask *someone I know* for a little help).
On a different note...kudos to your daughter for sharing! That was sweet. =)
She should have taken it, it is her daughter. You do have to be careful with those noodles though. My kids are older and we have a few in our pool. When my sisters and friends little ones come they do bite them. It is scary how easy they are to bite.
What a nut! I would have told her to take it from her if she didn't want her playing with it. Let me guess-she was in a chair either texting, surfing or looking through a magazine and couldn't be bothered too much by parenting...
I would have had my kiddo share pool stuff she wasn't playing w/ also. But I can see where the other mom was worried about her biting it. I would have been nicer about it though. I would have said, thanks for sharing, but I'm worried she will bite it. And then returned it.
I don't think you did anything wrong and I hope this doesn't stop you from sharing in the future. :)
just sounds like she didn't want to be the "mean" mommy. that way if her daughter threw a fit, she could blame it on you. her kid, her responsibility. you were just being nice and sharing your stuff. and if she didn't want her to have it, shouldn't the person who was there with the little girl have known and taken it away from her before the mother even came up? she probably would have had something to say if you had told the little girl to begin with she couldn't play with the noodle.
Yep--it was a little psycho of her to yell out an order to YOU regarding HER kid, I think.
If the other mother was carefully watching her child in the first place, she should have intervened immediately and NICELY and said something to your child, for example: "Thank you but _________ is to young to play with that toy, she might bite it, but thanks for sharing."
How people escalate small issues into something bigger, just makes me think more people should be sterile and don't deserve the honor and gift of being a parent.
Thank you for raising a child that is nice and wants to share and get along. You are a good example of what a mother should be.
Blessings.....
I usually say it is ok really. We don't mind. Then I look away. Because I would never walk up and take it away myself. Like you said if she didn't want her child to touch it then it is on her. If the other parent asks me to help or demands I take it away then I would guide the child closer to her for her to worry with.
I am with you. if the mom didnt want her to have it, she should have stopped it before her LO got the noodle. Since she didnt she now should be in charge of disarming her troop.
Sounds like you handled it the best you could, but it also sounds like someone (not you) doesn't know how to stand up & be a parent! You can't really be confrontational in a situation like that, though, can you? You never know what kind of crazy you'll end up with -
What a meany. She didnt want to be the bad guy so she made you instead. I hate lazy parents. It should have been her. I am with you on this one.
