So What Was Her Point?

Updated on June 23, 2014
M.H. asks from Madison, WI
22 answers

I work at a place on an as needed basis and usually sit and cover the front desk. I do other tasks too, but lately it has been sitting in at the front desk when the person that normally sits there takes time off.

So I was there this week and a lady that I've known for quite some time came by. We've mainly just had small talk over the years so I would consider her an acquaintance. She seems pretty nice. I have noticed over the years that she is one to invoke her opinion on most subjects and she is very opinionated. Nothing wrong with that. She is also very blunt and speaks her mind. Again, nothing wrong with that, just giving as much info as possible. And she seems to pretty much dominate most conversations.

Anyway, she walks in and looks surprised to see me sitting at the front desk. Then asks 'well where is 'Betty' (the one who normally sits there). I told her that she just took a few days off. Then she proceeds to say 'Betty is very good up here at the front desk. She can handle anything that comes her way. Sometimes it gets very chaotic up here and she can handle it.' I do agree with everything she said - Betty is awesome and I say something along those lines.
So then she stands past the front desk looking down the hall for the person she wants to talk to who happens to be busy and she says to me 'I'm just going to stand here and stare at you and make you nervous.' I chuckle politely wondering what the deal is here. Then a staff member comes by and asks me where another staff person is and she gets involved and says 'well I think she went that way (looks at me) and says didn't she'.
And of course the person she was waiting for took forever to get off the phone so she was evaluating me the whole time she waited.
So just sort of strange.
I'm wondering what her point was when she was going on and on about how great Betty is - maybe she was wondering if Betty was let go so she was 'fishing' for information??
We all feel that Betty is really great so it wasn't like she was coming in there and stating something that no one else sees or realizes.

What can I do next?

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Featured Answers

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H.G.

answers from Lancaster on

We've all encountered people like this. They usually have their own agenda that has nothing to do with you. They rarely have a point. If you ever feel as if she's asking a question you don't want to answer, just look her in the eye and say "why would you ask that?" Usually stops them in their tracks.

8 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Santa Barbara on

I bet Betty has a few stories with this socially awkward lady just standing around making flip off the wall comments.

7 moms found this helpful

More Answers

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

She might be the reason Betty needed a few days off.

18 moms found this helpful
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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Not your circus; not your clowns.
Chalk it up to: She's an oddball.

14 moms found this helpful
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E.E.

answers from Denver on

I don't think she had a point. I think you both know Betty so she said nice things, then stood there waiting for someone else, realized she was just standing there looking at you, and made fun of herself for doing so.

ETA: Sometimes when someone behaves awkwardly and you find yourself uncomfortable, it's worth remembering that they may not be playing any kind of game. They may be doing the best they can with the social skills they have.

12 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Funny, she actually seems lonely AND insecure. .

Also awkward and strange.

Just do your job and ignore her.

9 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

It sounds to me like this woman is socially awkward and insecure. I wouldn't read too much into it or pay it much attention. If, for some reason, the gal was actually fishing for information, she didn't get any from you.

I used to work customer service and had a few oddballs in my day; one was a local anchorman who used to insist we put extra filling in his raspberry croissants. He always complained about them, but still kept coming back--even for the same croissants he'd gripe about. People can be weird.

7 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Miami on

It has nothing to do with Betty. It has to do with this woman establishing her authority over you in this position. She's already done it with Betty. Now she's doing it to you too. She is SO important in her own eyes that she thinks that she can do this to someone when she doesn't even work at the place.

What a jerk this woman is.

5 moms found this helpful
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M.O.

answers from Dallas on

It sounds like a strange encounter but it likely had nothing to do with you. I wouldn't even try supposition and instead just assume there were other events or situations that made this women act a little off.

If it continues regularly, a different story. But a one time thing, usually a person having a bad day and taking it out on the wrong target in the wrong way.

5 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

It means absolutely nothing at all.

4 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

Yeah, this is a power play, a game to this woman. It's her way of trying to make you uncomfortable and make herself look knowledgeable. She is probably short on self esteem and tries to gain an upper hand in conversation to make herself feel better.

Information is gold to her. It's used to make her seem important.
It would be best to be BIFF with her, Brief, Informative, friendly, and Firm.

Don't give her personal information or extra information.
You were right to agree with her when you can. If she could cause a division and triangulate people she would. Be cool as a cucumber. Do not reflect her emotion. She won't know what to do if she can't fluster you.

4 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

She sounds like she is trying to have a pleasant conversation with you.
"Betty" is a great employee and she is singing her praises. She needs to wait for someone to get off the phone, maybe SHE felt nervous just standing there and didn't want you to think she was stalking.
Maybe she was trying to be helpful when she jumped in and said where the other employee went.
She sounds like she is just trying to be pleasant and you are reading too much into it.
L.

4 moms found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

She's just nosey and sounds like she was waiting for you to say something she could gossip about.

4 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't think there was a point. She is a busy body.

Why are you letting her get to you? This is exactly what she wants...YOU THINKING ABOUT HER...stop. Let it go. breathe.

When you see her Monday? Smile. Be Nice. Do your job. Do it well and to the best of your abilities and do NOT let people like her bother you.

4 moms found this helpful
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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

I think she was just trying to establish her "place" in the organization. She was probably fishing for information to see if Betty was leaving and you were going to take her place... Not much you can do except what you did...I wouldn't stress over it...

4 moms found this helpful
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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

And did you say, "Awkward".

4 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

who knows? she sounds weird and unpleasant.
why let her take up any space in your head?
khairete
S.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

What a wacko. Sounds like she needs to make herself feel important.
'Stand there and make you nervous?" You did the right thing chuckling...

2 moms found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

Leave a detailed log of activity for Betty, including nosey lady standing in front of desk for awkward amount of time and very distracting to say the least.

Betty will probably roll her eyes and be thankful your not the only target.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

sounds like a bored nosey busy body..ignore n move on..ppl amaze me...

2 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

She's a biotch. Ignore her.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Her point is she has the opinion that only Betty can do the job just so. If she had told me she was going to stand there, I'd have told her to take a seat. That was rude.

I would come up with some planned responses if she does that again, like, "Betty deserves some time off and I'm happy to fill in" or "I'm glad you like Betty's work. How can *I* help you today?" "I'm glad you think highly of Betty. Please have a seat and I'll let your person know you are here." Etc. Everyone may love Betty...but sometimes she needs a break and there are other people who can do the job effectively.

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