How Do I Fix This?

humor! 'hi there! yes, i'm the lady who DOESN'T live in this house. my kid and i just like to pretend we do.' smile. 'you caught me a little off guard in the post office the other day, i must admit. but i'm glad i get another chance to meet you.'
offer coffee if the creepy feeling has passed. if not, wish her a nice day.
it's a little awkward, but a smile and a light-hearted manner will totally smooth this over.
:) khairete
S.

I would have done the exact same thing you did! That lady went about it all wrong, appearing to be stalking you! I would have been creeped out too! She should have walked up to you (instead of following you around and grabbing you arm - big no no, to touch someone!) and said, "Excuse me, I live (so and so) and am wondering if you live there too. You look like you could be my new neighbor." That is how she should have handled it!

Anyway, there is an easy fix - just tell the woman the truth. Tell her that since you didn't know who she was, you didn't feel comfortable giving out any personal information. That is all you have to say!

Dont be embarrassed, just tell her the truth. That you mistook her recognition of you as oddly suspicious behavior and you are in a new town.

You two could have a laugh over it.

Be honest with her and let her know that you were uncomfortable b/c you are new to the town and don't know anyone. She caught you off-guard. You could go one step further and knock on her door later and apologize for your reaction, but...

Truth is, she was creepy but in all reality probably just a nosey and socially inappropriate person. As long as you don't continue to get "the creeps" around her, she's probably harmless and looking to be the first one to meet "the new lady" in the neighborhood!

I guess next time I saw her going into or out of her house, I'd approach her and apologize with humor, maybe ask her in for coffee......what are ya gonna do? Everybody deserves more than one chance to be neighborly, don't you think? Even YOU deserve it! If I were your neighbor I'd certainly understand your suspicion!

:)

I agree with Mum4ever and Theresa N in that you can just play it off with humor. Tell her you were new to town and were didn't recognize her so you didn't know how to respond.

Of course- if she really is a creepy lady then maybe you don't need to say anything :)

No worries, honey.

Next time you run into her, be forthright. "Oh you're the lady at the post office?!? I didn't know who you were and I was a bit shocked." That's all. No explanation. You don't owe her any more. Your definition of just moved and her's are very different.

Why on earth wouldn't she walk down and introduce herself rather than admit to staring at you through the window??? Some people????

I would just tell her you felt a little uncomfortable at the post office and just reacted.. But it might be a good idea for you to meet your neighbors just in case.. what if you go into labor ? and your hubby is 30 mins away?

Just be honest, but don't provide any more information than necessary. Just tell her she threw you off and you didn't hear the question correctly/didn't want to answer based on circumstances, or didn't realize until after you responded what she meant. Or tell her that you were being protective of your family and had absolutely no idea who she was. She was the one acting like a weirdo! If she puts up a stink, tell her so!

No, seriously, I wouldn't worry about it. I understand why you did what you did and she will too. If not, who cares! Maybe she will stop watching you!

Good luck!

When you do talk to her tell her you had no idea who she was so you said no for your safety.

When you finally actually meet her, just be honest with her. Tell her that you were nervous and feeling a bit vulnerable and caught off guard since you didn't know who she was or why she was asking personal questions. I'm sure she'll understand. Especially if you go to her house and make the first move with a batch of brownies.

I know it wasn't funny at the time, but there is a bit of humor in this situation.
I wouldn't wait for her to come over to me, I'd march on over to her house with some cookies in hand and tell her what happened and that it caught you so off guard you did lie.
She will probably laugh about it too and realize how out of context and somewhat inapropriate her behavior was.
Don't sweat it, but take control of the situation from here out.
Congrats on the new house and neighborhood. Sounds like they are a friendly bunch!

I'd just tell her the truth when that moment arises and blame it on paranoid pregnancy hormones. She'll understand. If she is off her rocker it wont matter anyway. It is kind of odd that you decided to fib rather than just say "as a matter of fact, we did just move here".... But, that's pregnancy for ya :)

Next time you meet her if she comes up to you and asks you why you lied (or something to that effect) tell her the truth. Tell her that her staring at you and following you around made you extremely uncomfortable. You had no idea who she was and she was freaking you out. Tell her you are glad to meet her and then go about your business. It sounds like you don't want to become close to this person anyway bc they might have a screw loose. (I don't think you are ridiculous for lying - that lady sounds odd)

Nothing you did was irrational. Just tell her the truth, you wern't sure why she was following you so you went into protection mode.

To one of the posters who said it was strange that she watched her out of her window? Really, you never look out your window? Nah, creepy is me always washing my dishes while my neighbor mows his lawn. :p I don't actually but it would be a nice view.

Be honest. She did not disclose who she was right away, and you reacted accordingly. If you want to head it off at the pass, go over and introduce yourself today. Say you put two and two together after she said her piece and you wanted to come over for some formal introductions.

I have to admit that I can be that kind of neighbor... I watch what is going on along our street. I have only meet maybe 1/3 of the people on our block but I can just about tell you approx age and #of people that live in each house on our block. Even if I have never meet them, I still try to say hi as I drive by, and I really think it is good to be aware of who lives around you. Some times neighbors can be nosie, or do watch from the windows (if I hear a noise or see kids playing outside I always take a quick peek to see what is going on). We have had issues with some teenagers stealing from cars, if unlocked, well I caught them in the act because of me always keeping an eye on what is happen along our street. I called the police, they recovered most of what was stolen in the 2 week time frame. During snow stroms if I see someone struggling shoveling or getting their car in or out of the driveway I offer my help, all from keep an eye on what is going on.

There has been once that I did run into a neighbor while walking along the river, I did keep doing a double take because I thought they looked like someone I have seen on our block. We were already walking the same direction and on the way to the cars I said hi, then mentioned she looked fimilar, asked if she lived on 'street name,' she said yes and I said I lived in the small house at the end, had a short converstation and went home.

If you see her outside just say hi, you will just have to laugh off what happened. If she mentions it just say you were unsure of who your neighbors are so did not feel secure in sharing info at that time. Most people will understand.

If (when) you do meet her, just say that a "stranger" asking that just kind of gave you the heebie jeebies with the world being as weird as it is these days, but now that you KNOW she is a neighbor, ask her in for a cuppa!

I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but if you felt uncomfortable I would dismiss those feeling either. How old is this women? I have some older relatives that could creep you out if you don't know them very well. They mean well and are wonderful people, but they just dance to a different drum. I would just back up some cookies and sometime when my husband was around I would take them over to her. If it is the same lady, explain you were exhausted with being pregnant and chasing a little one around and that you were caught off guard with her question. Introduce yourself and tell her you moved in recently and just wanted to say hello. Don't make a big deal about it.

I would take the chance while delivering those cookies to get a second impression of the women. I may ask around about her in town also. The postman would be a perfect person to ask. Explain you are new to the area and would like to get to know your neighbors. If there is anything that is odd about them gossip travels fast and is usually the thing people will reveal about a person first. I would start with an inquiry as to wether there were any children in the neighborhood that your little one could play with. Ask if the women next door likes children or what her interests are.

Just tell her you have never been approached in that manner and since yes you are new you felt uncomfortable.I am sure she will laugh at herself and agree with you she was starring you down quit a bit.
Who knows she might turn to be your best friend!

Oh, I think you are worrying about this way too much. If you happen to officially meet her at some point and it really was her at the post office and she recognizes you, you can just be honest - "I'm sorry, I just moved into the area and wasn't comfortable at that time introducing myself, since I don't know anyone yet. You just hear about so much crazy stuff happening on TV!"

Then, I would stop watching all the crazy stuff on TV. Yes, things happen. But not as often as you might think.

tell her she scared the bejeezus out of you when she 'confronted' you at the post office. say i would have denied even existing at that point :) make light of situation. the lady needs social skills.

When you do finally meet her, just tell her that you had no idea who she was an you were alone...basically just tell her what you told us.

I know you've already received some great responses to your situation, but I just wanted to say that you absolutely did the right thing. You should never share personal information with a stranger, especially if that person makes you uncomfortable. Trust your intuition!

Many women don't want to be mean or rude, or have people not like them, so they put their own safety at risk and let themselves think they are just being paranoid. This is how victims are created. Pat yourself of the back for sticking to your guns. You should reveal personal information on your own terms and when you feel comfortable. A "good" person will respect this. If they don't, they are probably the "bad" person you want to avoid! Keep up your diligence of protecting your personal information, and standing your ground!

I don't think you are ridiculous...

I would do what other mothers have suggested - bake something (if you have the energy) and go to her house and explain that she caught you off guard and you aren't used to the "country" living yet.

It will be okay!!

This is the kind of ridiculous stuff that is always happening to me:) So you are not alone. I like the advice of just introducing yourself to her and explaining you were just distracted and realized as soon as you said it that you were answering a different question than the one she asked.
BUT...
In reality, I'm such a socially awkward wimp that I would probably just act like nothing happened. If we ever met in the neighborhood, I would be secretly hoping she wouldn't put 2 and 2 together. And if she DID say something like "Oh, why did you tell me at the post office you hadn't just moved in?" I would just act like I didn't know what she was talking about. Cue the perplexed look and vague smile!

That's awkward! I would have probably done the same thing. I'd say just let her know that you are always uncomfortable, especially in new places, when people ask you about your personal life. Just let her know that you were busy and weren't able to fully explain, but that you're sorry for not fully understanding the situation.
I'd say maybe go to her house or next time you see her just go out and say hello. Just laugh it off :)

Hope it goes well!

I like the suggestions that Krista and Amanda offered.
Your gut feelings are important, too. You felt weird at the post office, and she said she's been watching you from her window.
Hel-l-l-o-o-o-o.....that is pretty creepy.
I would use a healthy level of caution on this one til you figure her out.

Don't stress about it. When the time comes, just apologize, and say that it was a gut reaction that you didn't know how to undo. Quick, simple, no drama.

I would have done the same were I in your shoes. I am sorry a neighbor watching me seems creepy in it's own right. I would "fix" it by baking something and going over to her home and explaining the situation to her, you were uneasy, new town, preggers hormones, young toddler etc you were not sure how to respond esp when you have certain stranger danger standards in your life. She will either be offended and you can not change that or she will understand.

How do you fix it??? EASY, you already stated why in the last paragraph

"but I had no idea who she was, and I'm not in the habit of revealing personal information about myself especially while out alone in public. I'm sure many of you will think I'm ridiculous for lying like that, but my first instinct is to protect myself and family. With my husband being almost 30 minutes away in case of emergency"

Now if she had identified herself as your neighbor FIRST, "hey, you're my new neighbor. I thought you looked familiar. I'm so and so..." then of course you would've been forthcoming.

She approached you like a typical busy body, one who was watching you from her window, lol, rather than coming over with some bakery to say hello and welcome you to the neighborhood. That said, she should be the one feeling guilty, not you. I wouldn't give it a second thought. If she asks, or acts weird about it, bake her the brownies and drop over next time you are out walking the kids.

You bake some cookies and take them to her and introduce yourself to your new neighbor. When she answers the door you say, "hello, my name is H. and this is my son......... We just moved in across the street. I believe we met yesterday at the post office. I apologize for my reaction but it caught me off guard. I am a little uneasy meeting strangers and being pregnant with a toddler makes me even more nervous. May I ask your name?? etc, etc
no worries, I have been in similar situations or if someone calls my house and ask for me and I say, "she is not here, may I take a message" and then they say who they are....I will say, "oh, it's me, I don't like taking calls from strangers!" ha ha They usually say, "I am the same way, I totally understand."

W.

Now that you know she's your neighbor, I might stop by when you and your toddler go out for a walk. Introduce yourselves and say hello.
Good neighbors are worth their weight in gold. When I broke my leg, thank God my neighbor saw me trying to drag myself up the slope in my yard. She came and got me and carried me into the house. She then took me to the ER because as a nurse, she knew my leg was broken.
There's nothing wrong with protecting yourself, but you said yourself that your husband is almost 30 minutes away in case of emergency. I would introduce yourself formally and if she even asks why you acted so funny, all you have to do is say is that you were tired, distracted, or even frankly, a little frightened by her approaching you.
90% of my family members are in TN (Bristol and surrounding areas) and everybody looks out for everybody else. It's just the way it's done. It's not a bad thing.
I'd rather try to get to know this neighbor than speculate if she's crazy or out to harm you.

Just my opinion.
Best wishes.

Why do you feel so vulnerable that you feel you need your husband there to protect you? I am sure you are perfectly capable of defending yourself and child if the need ever arises. I am sure the liklihood is slim so why live in that fear?

I do not disagree that there are some sick people in this world but most are generally good people. Being a prisoner in your own home is not a good thing to teach your son. You should feel free to go out during the day if you so choose. Always be aware of your surroundings but do not be paranoid about them.

If the woman really was your neighbor you could just act like you misunderstood the question, your mind was preoccupied, or you were just taken back.

Now that the weather is getting nicer, maybe make an effort to meet your neighbors so that you do have a greater comfort level in your new community and feel more settled in your new surroundings.

I have not read the other responses, but I think honesty is the best way to go - that you are sorry for your reaction in the post office and that you did not mean to lead her astray but that you felt it was a very public place to be discussing your living location. If need be (or you want), I'd just say that you had lived in a more city-like setting and feel that it is a safety issue.

You did not mention how long you had been in the house, but I think a true neighbor would have introduced herself in person by now instead of stalking you in a post office. I have tried to make it a point to go over with a baked good when new neighbors have moved in around me. How creepy!

Good luck with that new neighbor!
~C.

Blame it on the pregnancy hormones!