So, What's the Rule Again on Doing Business with Family?

If there is a change in the arrangement, on either side, then a new agreement needs to be made. You did agree to pay her $500 so it should stay that way unless you both come to a new agreement. I would not just short change her without talking to her first about it.

If she really needs the money, what if you let her come over for the week to help you out a bit before the baby comes? Maybe she could help put up some meals in the freezer or help clean or watch the kids while you run errands?

You've rec'd a lot of opinions about how to handle this situation.

BUT, for you and everyone else, on when it is good to do business with family, the answer is: NEVER.

I think your mom's on the money... for 2 reasons:

1) It's fair

2) She knows her sister

OK--so seems like from what you've written she will have watched them for 3 full weeks out of an approx 4 week month, right? 500 divided by 4 x 3 is $375 so I'd give her another $125 like your mom suggested and plus the $250 you've given her already, that would be $375.

As for the early dismissals b/c your hubby came home early, I feel like that's just his choice & she was there & available for all day care for your kids.

I would pay her only for the additional week she will actually have them. The times she's off early isnt her fault so dont penalize her for that. I would be up front about the last payment and let her know, if you haven't already that this is her last week and you will pay her $125 for the week on Friday.

Doesn't sound like its going to be a problem. And you didnt enroll them in daycare as suggested below so you have the liberty to do so...daycare wouldnt have called out for a week or a day to go to the drs.

I wouldn't pay her for 2 more weeks. I would just be done after this one. she really shouldn't expect to be paid for 2 weeks if she is only going to have them one. Just let her know up front it will only be the one more week and done.

This was not set like a daycare contract; this is more like home childcare. Way back when I had mine in "homecare" (not family) it was a daily charge. Now if I picked them up early, then it counted as a full day. I was a Teacher and did not have to pay for the weeks they were not there.
This is family and yes money can be a touchy thing. Follow what your Mom said. Ask your Aunt upfront and honest is she ok with this amount as it turned out to be less days, 1 week on her and 1 week on you. If she says yes, then hug and give $125. If she says no, then hug, give $250 and move on. Just know that if there is a next time, you either layout how payment will be given beforehand or find somebody else. Not worth starting a family feud. Just from what you said (she is just looking for some extra spending money; she cancelled the first week) I don't THINK she will argue that the $125 is unfair or not what you said. You know your family better than I.

I would give her the full amount. It is still way cheaper than a nanny or daycare for two kids.

If it was me, I'd pay the full amount. It's not worth it to me to start a family fight over $125.

If you no longer need her the last week of June, you have changed the agreement, not her so you still owe her what you promised. You told her you would pay her $250 when you got paid. You didn't say I'll pay you $250 unless I decide I don't need you the remainder of the month. I would not have paid her for the first week of June, but you did and therefore set the expectation that you were paying her $500 for whatever time she cared for your kids in June. I would pay her the remaining $250. Even though you will be home one week early you might enjoy an extra hand. You have a new baby to prepare for. You could ask your aunt to help you with laundry, setting up the new baby's room, preparing future meals, etc. Or, if she doesn't do those things, you can ask her to entertain the kids for at least part of the day while you do laundry, set up the new room.... This way both of you will get something out of it and live up to your original agreement. It isn't just about family harmony, it is also about you living up to your agreement.

I agree with the suggestion to talk with her. You didn't have a signed contract and she couldn't do it the first week, then there were some half days which were also not agreed to in advance. Now with your situation changed I think it's only fair to give her $125, but maybe she would give you a counter offer of $175 and you can come to an agreement.

I think if you explain it to her and are open an honest I'm sure you can some to a fair amount that both of you can accept.

If there was a formal agreement in the beginning and none of the dates had been changed or halved I'd say she is due the full amount, but definitely not when things have changed.

I'm shocked you payed her even the week she couldn't watch the children. I think $125 is more than enough. You agreed for her to watch you kids for 5 weeks for $500. If the kids are with her 3 weeks then $300 total is plenty. I would not deduct for the times your husband got off early, that wouldn't be right but I also don't think you should pay her for the last week since you still payed her for the 1st week she didn't watch the kids.

i agree with your mom. thats how daycare works. the at home daycare my kids go to are paid for the day. even if we pick them up half day. i would think she should understand that you don't need her for the last week. just as you understood she couldnt start as soon as you had planned, and even at the last min coulnt watch them that monday. plans change. let her know how much you appericiated it though.

Ask HER. If she's really expecting the whole amount, you might comment that she missed the first week and now will miss the entire last week. If she's already been paid by someone else, she understands that you don't get paid if you don't work!! How she gets to your home wasn't part of the deal and has nothing to do with what you pay her. The 1/2 days she worked weren't her fault either and she still had to get to your house and probably had planned to be there all day anyway, so those are also non issues.

Sure, if she's not watching them for the entire month in which you both agreed you'd pay her $500 total pay her by the day that way it is fair and even.

What a touchy subject.
If it were me, (and isn't everybody here speaking from their own
perspective), I would pay her the agreed-upon amount, if it is going
to put any kind of strain on your relationship. You want the person
watching your child to "want to" CARE for them without ANY
resentment. Good luck!

Judging by the title of your question, you already know the answer to this. You'd better pay her the full amount if you intend to maintain relations in the family. And for your own sanity, don't ever do it again. It's so not worth it.

Honestly, I would probably go ahead and pay her the full amount. Just think, if you had them enrolled in daycare you would still have to pay. Besides, did you tell her you would pay her a certain amount of money per week or did you just tell her you'd pay her $500 total?

I agree with your mother. If this aunt is your mother's sister, then she knows her own sister better than you. Go with that. Plus, she shouldn't expect the money if she isn't watching them.

Hi A., I think the rule you are looking for is "DON'T!" Sometimes I have to experience something in a painful way that makes the "don't" part stick. Look at it this way: lesson learned, never again and it could have been much worse, much more expensive. I'd get out of he situation as soon as I can and file that in my brain for further reference. Worked and still works for me.