So Sick Need Advise!!

J. J-
So sorry to hear that you're going thru this. Sounds like you need to deal with this stress issue instead of looking for quick fixes. Perhaps some form of therapy. Try to find the time and if the price is a concern look for therapists that accept sliding scale pay. The Pastoral Institute is an idea... Also, you may want to try some subliminal and/or relaxing cds to listen to at night and during the day. I am raising my little girl myself...one is a handful let alone 3 boys...I can't really imagine. I can imagine, however, stress directly affecting my health. Anyway, just try to relax and take some time for yourself. Yoga is also a tremendous help for me during stressful times. If you need to talk, I'm here. Good luck.

E.

J.,

Have you been tested for acid reflux. I was having problems at night and in the morning about a year ago and nexium ( a presciption for acid reflux realy helped me alot.

I also saw that you are a stay at home mom.

Are you involed. I am a BeautiControl Consultant and the thing I love the most about it is it makes me feel that I am a part of something.

I would love to know if I can help you.
H.

It sounds to me like you are in serious need of a vacation. I was feeling the same way for a while. I went to Myrtle Beach for 3 days and it helped tremendously. If you have to go by your self, find a babysitter that will agree to a reasonable fee for the days your going to be gone. OR just take a spa day to your self. It worked for me and my mom.
Good luck

I have a girlfriend that reacts the same way to stress. She goes to the chiropractor to get adjusted...it always helps. Maybe you can ask your husband to step in and you could get a day away to rest. You can get a massage from the chiropractors office for free sometimes if your a first time client. Begin a stress relieving ritual. After the kids are in bed, do a bath, a cup of chamomile tea, a glass of wine. Also, you might go to GNC and ask them for valerian root. DON'T OVER DO IT that stuff works. At night you may want to try to take melatonin. You will find that it gives you a deeper more restful sleep which combats depression. Getting a very clean omega 3 or fish oil will benefit in depression and almost every other aspect of the human body from your brain, heart to your skin and nails. These are all facts from clinical studies (about the supplements) not just my opinion. You may ask the Dr for a fast acting benzodiazapine (valuum or xanax) to combat immediate anxiety attacks. Phenegran for the nausea. It will knock you out!!! Take only when the kids are being supervised and you don't have to drive.
Also, you might get a beginners yoga tape and do it at home. The benefits are amazing, and you will also get in shape while relaxing. GOOD LUCK! We (moms) know what stress can do to a person!!! email with any questions.

YIKES!

J.,

I can identify somewhat with what you're going through. It sound like you need some rest and relaxation.

I used to be home with my girls before my divorce. During the divorce I went back to work as an elementary school teacher. I packed up my house and moved to the other side of town. I went looking for new work. All this and trying to get over my divorce (and his new girlfriend) with a 2-year old and a 4-year old. It was the most stressful time of my life. I ended up with weird illnesses that were directly attributed to stress. In the end, I had chronic conjunctivitis that got so bad I couldn't open my eyes. I finally had enough.

I simplified my life and started taking care of myself. No more getting up at 4:30 am and going to bed at midnight. My house started looking a lot messier, I started putting the girls in the childcare at the gym, I joined a tennis team in my new neighborhood, I STARTED SAYING "NO" to people I love. Now I've survived the fall and winter with no illness. Amazing!!!!!

The bottom line is that your famiy needs you but they can't get what they need if you're running on fumes. Take time to refuel...read a book, buy a magazine, take a bath, take a walk (alone). Go to Yoga, the gym, get a pedicure. It's not indulgence, it's survival!

Good luck!

hey J. my name is B. and had the same thing when my kids was little.i never mad time for me. than i just like ones a week for about a hour or two i did something just for me .got nice ,make up and stuff and whent to the movies or somethind to eat.or got me a hoppy like painting.my husband watched the children for me .after that i started to feel better. lots of time we forget to take care of us and always everyone eles. that is not good you just get stress and don't let it out.try to do something just for you.B.

working out is good for stress and anxiety....may be something you could try. I use natural therapies for this kind of stuff......look on the web or go to a natural herb store and see what they have. A good massage is also helpfull. If you've already made sure that there isn't a physical illness causing this then try some natural stuff. Also if you go to church find out if they have a counseling department and seek someone neutral to talk to .....always helped me.

accupuncture could be very helpful. A very good friend of mine did this when her partner died and she had awful anxiety:she said accupuncture was very helpful. Yoga too could help relieve built up stress in the muscles and mind. Also, journaling, there is a root to this problem that medicine most likely can't fix, and if it does, it is probably just covering it up only to manifest itself later! good luck!

Have you thought about going to a local church and talking to a minister. That always helps me when I'm stressed, I go to my church and talk to my Bishop. Good luck
A. :D

While I know it's easy to say and very hard to do, I suggest you start working on reducing your stress and anxiety. Are you or have you thought about seeing a psychologist/therapist? Learning to deal with the stress and anxiety may be your first step to feeling better. I've been there and I have an idea of what you are going through (being so stressed you end up sleep deprived and physically sick). Just talking about what is stressing you out can be a huge relief (I recommend talking to a professional although sometimes just talking to a friend about what is going on is very helpful as well). Also, go to your local library and/or book store and take some time to read a few books that deal with stress and anxiety. I strongly recommend books that deal with relaxation techniques (breathing, imagery, etc.). Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

Sounds like you are making yourself sick with stress. Believe it or not but your nerves control everything in ur body and if your stressing it will cause you to become ill..something to the point of needing to hospitalized. You need to find something, someone, or someplace...or maybe even all three so that you can calm yourself and gain back control of your body and mind. Sometimes that's hard for people b/c of the rut and daily routines being to hard to break. BUT if it is jepordizing your health then you need to take a step back and let someone else take the burden for awhile. Just ask yourself....are ur problems really worth living and feeling as you do now. Have you ever heard that some people can actually give themself a terminal dsiease or illness by bringing that much negative energy to theirself? Like when ur just having a bad day and for SOME unknown reason everything possible goes wrong, you slam ur finger in the door u grouch ur way to the front door and only to realize you've locked ur keys in ur car. Ever feal that way? I hope you find help and peace and GL.

have you tried got to get a massage? or a swift walk around the block exercise can be a great stress reliever. yoga maybe a nice hot bath. trying to think of all the things that helps me relax, how about painting I paint miniatures its detail oriented , I can only do it when my kids are in bed. or a puzzle just sitting and doing a puzzle with my hubby and we talk about everything while we are doing a puzzle. Talking things out sometimes helps releave stress. have the inlaws keep the kids and spend a weekend at a hotel being served room service. get pampered somewhere somehow.
HTH
B.
mom of 2 ages 5 yrs and 2 yrs

Hi J.,
I too am married to a chef. It's not easy, we have to take care of everything and everyone while he works long hours. My husband is often very tired and sometimes grouchy from the stresses of work. I actually used to work with him before I had our daughter so I understand what his day to day job is like. That being said it still is hard for me to be at home all the time alone with just our daughter. Sometimes I need a break and he does give me one if I ask and especially on his days off. Sometimes I just like to take a nap or sleep in in the morning on one of his days off. It really makes a difference for dealing with the rest of the time when I have no break. He also watches her on his day off so I can go shopping or get my hair cut. I go to the aveda institute on Piedmont rd. It's a school so the students do your hair under the supervision of instructors. It costs half of what I would pay anywhere else. I have been going there for over a year now and the only complaint I can give is that it takes twice as long as it would elsewhere. I have always been happy with my hair though. Its a nice break. I used to be sick with stress about 8-9 yrs ago. I finally just had to realize that I was only making myself worse and it was no way to live. Me making myself sick didn't help the situation nor did it change anything. Once I figured that out and let go of some of my snxiety and the fact that I couldn't change anything, I stopped getting sick. I still stress out and overreact and have a negative attitude alot according to my husband but I don't let it affect my health anymore. My daughter and my husband are what I live for and I want to be here to see her grow up and have children of her own. If you ever need an ear or want to talk send me an email, I am a good listener.
S. ( Stay at home mom to a beautiful little girl that's 19mths and am expecting my second in May)

My mom has been doing the exact same thing and her Dr. said it was because of acid reflux and stress. Also u may need to have your gallbladder checked a test called a hida scan to see if it is functioning properly

I went through something similar when my second baby was about 8 months old. I had a toddler and a baby, and I thought it was stress related. I woke up one morning doubled over in pain in my stomach. I went to the doctor, where they started by doing a lot of blood work. My white blood cell counts were through the roof. For over two months, I kept a low-grade fever and barely ate because my stomach was so sore. I was in and out of surgeon's offices for ultrasounds and other tests.

The weird thing was that the first week, I literally ate nothing and still gained 7 lbs. We were floored when we finally found the culprit. It was my birth control. I was on the Depo shot, and it turns out there are so many side effects that I never knew about. When it was time for my next shot, I opted for the pill instead, and the problems with my stomach were gone within a few days.

Perhaps you should look into other possible culprits for your stomach problems, as well. And good luck!

J.:
I know what you are going through. I am experiencing something similar, and have been for a few years now. Basically, what I am coming to realize is that I have to make an effort to make time for myself, and make sure I do something that I like to do very often. It seems like you need to do that too. What a lot of people don't realize is that being an at home mom is harder than working a job! The responsibility you have takes a toll on your body, mind and soul. You start to lose yourself, because you become involved in your family. You have to care for your children which are in different age groups. They all have different needs at their own times, which are not always convenient. Your husband probably works the majority of the day, and when he comes home he might be so tired that all he wants to do is eat, sleep, and have sex, if that. I'm just guessing, but it's a typical thing. And trust me, I know because I have a husband and 5 children. 13, 10, 7, 4, and 2. I am 28. J., what you need to do is make a strong effort to make time for yourself. At least for a couple of hours a week. Maybe get a part time job, or join a gym, or just arrange with a friend or family member you trust to watch the kids for a couple hours while you go shopping. You need this, and it really helps. Really. I used to always take the children everywhere with me, and then I had to be at home with them everyday, all day, and I thought I would have a nervous breakdown! I started throwing up, I lost 40 pounds within a years time, I felt insecure, I started getting jealous of my husband because I felt like he was doing what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it, then on top of that, my menstrual cycle came on and would not stop for months at a time. Which meant that I could not please my husband when he needed it, or when I needed it. I went to the doctor, and they said nothing was wrong with me! I don't have any family because of death, and because I committed myself fully to my family, I lost a lot of my friends. It's hard, but I finally got the nerve to talk to my husband about my feelings, and he didn't take it well at first, but guess what? He started helping me more with the children and he even stays at home with them and lets me get a couple of hours a week to do what I want. It is not much by a long shot, but it is helping me regain my sanity. So J., please make the effort to make time for yourself. Talk to your husband, vent your feelings with a friend, and be a little selfish and think about your needs sometimes. Your family will see a change in you and learn to respect you more. I can almost guarantee you will feel better.

have you thought about counseling? obviously you need to talk to someone to aleviate the stress. try The Link, they do sliding scale and would be much better than the local mh dept.