So My Husband Has Been CHEATING

Oh, FB, I am so sorry to hear all of this.

I honestly don't know if it will be good for you to continue to live under one roof. There is so much emotional baggage that you can't begin to get rid of until you separate. So do a lot of thinking and talking about how you will make that work. Do you think you can sleep at night wondering if he will come home or is he staying at some bimbo's house? Will he watch the little one while you go out with some friends? Please don't be his doormat. It will not be healthy for you.

HUGS!!!

Just get him out. Don't prolong it. The longer you stay under the same roof, the harder it is going to be when he leaves.

Tons of hugs for you!

I am so very sorry this is happening. IMHO, for the sake of the child, hubs should move out right away unless you two can keep up a happy front for the child. But remember. kids are more insightful than we give them credit for. YOu just don't want him living in a situation that is filled with tension and where every little thing causes a huge blow-up. I think better to be in a quiet, tension-free home with one parent than in a dysfunctional situation with both parents.

Good luck to you. We are here for you to lean on.

I find your insight and opinion so caring and valuable, and I wish I could offer you the same. I honestly have no advice. I'm just so sorry and so upset for you. I wish the best, and send you hugs!!

So sorry to read this. I've been in your shoes and we actually did "reconcile" but it's been a long, hard road. My advice is to take your time and take some space. Have him move out, at least for a while. I regret that we didn't separate at all in the aftermath of his affairs. We even slept in the same bed. We both would have had some clarity and peace if we had taken some time to spend apart and really let ourselves understand what was at stake. If at all possible, have him stay somewhere for a few weeks or a month while you wrap your head around this and he understands what it will really mean to walk away from you and your son if he decides to not even try.

Although you may feel 100% certain of what you want to do one day, you might feel totally opposite the next, then go back to where you are now, back and forth, back and forth. It's easy to say that if your husband cheated you'd never take him back. Quite another to see him walk out the door, have your son ask where he is, and feel what it's really like to be alone in parenting a child, then alone while your child is spending time with his dad. And he may realize what's really at stake and be truly remorseful. It's easy to think that you would reject that outright and see right through it, but then you remember that this is the man you dreamed of raising a family with and growing old with and suddenly it's not so clear cut.

There were a couple of books that I found really helpful - one was called After the Affair and the other was called Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay. They both gave me a lot of food for thought and an organized way to process everything I was feeling. I also saw a counselor just for myself so that I could save my own sanity and had a safe place to fall apart once a week. It made it easier to not curl up on the floor in a sobbing ball of despair and betrayal when I knew that I could go vent in private once a week.

As I mentioned, we did decide to stay together and see what would happen. It's been 7 years and our marriage is still very strained and I think that if we had had just one child and could have managed financially apart, I would have ended the marriage and moved on with my life. That said, if you do decide to stay together, counseling is a must. It's not enough for him to just say I'm sorry and go on like nothing happened.

I read a stat once that in the aftermath of an affair, most couples actually don't split immediately. About a third do, another 3rd stay together for a few years and then end up splitting anyway, and another 3rd stay together for at least 5 years or more. So if you're not ready to make that decision right now, it doesn't mean that you're a sucker or pushover, it means that you've just been suckerpunched in the worst way and need some time to gather yourself and breathe before deciding your next moves.

Again, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. No matter what you decide to do, know that how you feel really does get better with time. You will be OK.

Aww, B., I'm so sorry. You're a longtime poster here, one of the family, and we care about you. His behavior sounds like he has a sex addiction.

Please go to a divorce lawyer and protect YOUR interests and those of your child. No matter what he says, you cannot trust him to not hide money. The lawyer will also advise you about the legal ramifications of you two living under the same roof.

Hugs and hopes that you get through this alright...

oh, sweetie!
when i saw this with your name on it, i assumed it was tongue-in-cheek post!
i'm so, so sorry.
i do NOT think that you should continue to live together. the situation is difficult, and that's a fact. it will be difficult and toxic for your little boy to live with you both, while this terrible betrayal and resentment fester between you. for your sake, which will automatically translate into 'for your child's sake', make a clean break now and start rebuilding a better, stronger, healthy life. right now. for you AND your son.
we're here for ya, babe.
khairete
S.

My hearts hurts for you, I am so sorry this is happenings to you.
Has he been an involved parent? Will living with him be a daily reminder of the hurt and pain you're trying to process? Do you have a job? Skills that would lead to employment?
There's just so much going on in your heart and mind. Just try and come up with a plan for yourself and your family. If you can stay where you are currently living, discussing options with an attorney, determining exactly how much money you and your son will need on a monthly basis, health insurance costs, etc.
Don't try and rush through what you're feeling, be with it. If you push it aside, it's not healthy. There will be a time to move on but for now don't feel awful about having a bad day dealing with all of this.
And maybe reach out to someone who has been there.
Hang in there girl.

I'm sorry this is happening to you.
It's going to be a wrench on everyone no matter when you separate.
Allowing him to live with you for another 8 or so months won't make things any easier - and you'll have to face holidays with him plus any head games he wants to play with you and your child.
It'll just prolonging the agony.
If he can find bed mates to fool around with, he's more than capable of finding a place for him to live.
Let one of his women cook his meals and deal with his laundry.

Get a lawyer immediately (and also get checked out for any STDs he might have passed on to you - you don't know what he's been sleeping with).
You need a legal separation soon as possible and after 1 year of separation and living apart you can file for divorce (in NY).
Rip that there band aid off quickly - it will sting but the hurt will go away more quickly.
It's going to take awhile to establish a new normal but the sooner you start the sooner you will achieve it.

I delayed opening this post because I just didn't want to believe it... I'm so sorry you are going through this.

But much like the responses you give to many of us on Mamapedia, you are as level headed about this situation as I would expect you to be as if you were counseling another mom on this topic (I would have sent you a flower!). I am proud of you.

Lots of good advice so far... sending you many, many hugs. Please lean on us for support during this process, B.. We care about you!

I'm sorry to hear about this. I too know what you are going through. I can tell you from experience, the more you learn about his affairs, the harder it will be to even stand to look at him. Being in the same house for the next 8 months would be torture. You need to go through the grieving process without him around to break you down further. It will be hard to be civil every day toward him around your child, because you will probably feel resentment, hatred, etc. And I'm sure he will begin to flaunt his new life, it will be hard to watch him go do his thing while he's under your roof. My kids were 8 months and 3 years when my ex husband left. I was a stay at home mom and felt like their world turned upside down because I had to go back to work and put them in daycare because I became a single mom. But kids are resilient and we all persevered. You will too! Just think this through before allowing him to stay for 8 more months.

Oh honey, I am so, so sorry. That's a terrible situation to be in.

It's not for me to say whether you should stay or go -- that's something you really have to decide on your own. I will just say, before you go -- if you go -- get all your ducks in a line. Make sure you have a place to live that you can afford. Make sure you have a workable budget, and that it includes all your essentials. Anything your husband participated in -- be it finances, childcare, anything -- make sure you've got it covered.

One blessing is that your son is young enough, he should be willing to accept a big change if he's told it's all for the best. An older child will rail against something like this -- yours is likely to simply trust that you've got his best interests at heart.

And really, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry! I've always liked you so much on this site. You ask smart, interesting questions with grace and humor. You deserve so much better than this.

B. ~ I'm so very sorry to hear this.

Just think twice about how long you want him in your home. Raising your son in an unhealthy environment isn't always the best answer.

Sending you many, many hugs.

In addition to the OB appointment and the appointment with your priest, you need an appointment with a lawyer. Not an appointment with both of you, not an appointment with his lawyer (or someone he knows). An appointment with a lawyer who can focus on what is in the best interest of you and your son.

So sorry, and good luck.

OMG, not my favorite momapedia member! Now, I want to cry. 2 of my sisters went through cheating husbands and neither husband ever changed. Funny thing is they were the oldest out of us 4. Sister 1's husband cheated on her everytime she was pregnant. There were at least 3 X we know of with 2 different women and the one had the nerve to show up at my sister's door step with the kid he made! What? My sister's 2 kids are chopped liver to this woman? Sister 1 stood by her man for the kids. He never fixed the house our helped her out. Just sat there smoking cigars. Fast forward to 30 yrs. of marriage....He cheated again with the woman, who brought her kid to the door! My sister decided to try out a separation first, before getting a divorce. He came to the house with a shot gun and threaten her, so she paid $5,000 for a divorce and to changer her name back to her maiden name. Guess what? Her own children wouldn't talk to her, because they blamed her! Then she got cancer. He came back to take "care" of her...Yeah right, so he could get the last of what she had left. He did the nurse in a camper they had parked outside the house, while she layed there in pain. She died on the toilet!

Ok...now for sister #2...Her husband cheated on her and abused her. She "stood by her man." Yep, she's still alive and still with him. We tried to get her to leave him and it almost happened. What did she do? She got her hair done, dress up, and went to him to show him "what he's missing." He cried, so she took him back. Now, he brings them home! She won't leave him, because of some messed up religous belief.

F. B., my advice to you is to do what makes you happy and what will settle your conscience. There's a whole new world out there for you. Please realize that once a man cheats, they have a lot of trouble stopping. It's kind of like potato chips to them. They may stop for a few years, but it will start up again. If he's still in contact with her, there's still something there. It might be best to let go. Children need more than a mother and father. They need an honest and loving home environment. If Mom and Dad aren't getting along, it creates too much tension and they wind up making their own decisions as to what is right or wrong. There are a lot of single moms out there that have raised the best kids ever, and it's all because of an honest and loving environment. Staying "married for the kids is an outdated idea." It's time to step into the 21st century. OG, I'm so sorry. :( Please take care and be strong. You're a wonderful person!

Oh my goodness, my biggest hug to you. Kick the bum out. It's time to move on with him out of the home. Very best of luck; I'm so sorry to hear this, I really am.

"This too shall pass"

Beyond that, I have no advice. My ex and I lived together for about 6 weeks before it became apparent that we needed seperate living arrangements. Between the flirting with me to the dating of others - even seperate bedrooms didn't work.

Follow your gut, you're a smart chick.

Oh honey, I am so very sorry you are going through this.
I am sending It will be strained & you will wonder what he is doing.
Also, you can take back some of your power by separating. In doing that
you will show him you are strong & will not take this awful behavior.
First thing first, I would make an appointment w/a divorce lawyer!!! Call
around. You can get a 30 min free appt w/some. Have questions written
down that you need to ask in regards to custody, alimony & child supp.
Remember you have every right to feel sad & cry. Then I want you to get
strong. To think as clearly as you can, to get things in order.
Get copies of your bank statements etc.
Hang in there. Things will get better for you!

i am so sorry. i don't have much advice except that i hope you take him to cleaners.

There is no reason for you to put yourself living with someone you don't want to be with for a year just to make it easier on your son... especially since it's not going to matter to your son whether his parents live in separate houses starting when he's three or four. As long as the two of you handle this civilly, your son won't have any memories of the actual split.

Personally, I think you risk a lot more harm to your son by staying together if you've decided to separate. He deserves to have a loving, warm, and friendly home. You can't provide that when you dislike his father. So my advice is have your husband move out immediately, see a divorce lawyer immediately, and work to protect both you and your son. You may reconcile with his father in the future, but you need your own space to come to terms with what has happened.

(and... I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's pretty much my exact situation. We separated in January of this year and I have to say, it's been far easier than I expected. And my kids have been rock stars. The move to two houses has barely affected them, probably because their dad and I have been really positive about it when they're around)

I am so very sorry. I wish you all the best and send you BIG hugs! Hang in there! Wish I had advice, but I have no clue what I would do, saying a prayer for you!

I'm so sorry to see you're going through this. I agree with others on having him move out. What's best for a child is seeing two loving parents together, not this situation.

Sending you all the best, though, with whatever you decide.

Ouch. In spite of having been there in my first marriage, no particular advice comes to mind, since these sad situations have so much variation (personalities, financial means, children or not, etc.). It does sound like you've already got some essential steps covered. I love your focus on kindness.

I do wish you and your son well. I hope you find yourself in a much better place soon.

FB, I am so very sorry to hear about this.

In answer to your specific question, and I can only speak for myself, I found it very difficult to be around my ex-husband once I had decided to divorce him. I was fortunate to have a friend who loaned me money so I could move out immediately.

I think it really depends on how you feel, you know. IF you are angry and just want to punch him in the face, probably good that one of you leaves sooner than later. If you are just determined to coexist until there is some financial freedom, then I would make a written list of agreements which both of you will uphold. You are talking about nearly a year before splitting up your household. Personally, I wouldn't be able to handle it. It's very noble to want to do something to ensure your son's routines and stability, but you weren't the one who put all of that in jeopardy, so I don't think you should feel horrible if you leave (or ask him to leave) before then.

Again, I am so sorry to hear about this. Sending you many hugs and much strength. You did nothing wrong and you will rise above this!

Oh wow, so sorry to hear this. Sorry that it's happening, & esp. that he was not willing to follow through on putting you & his marriage first. I pray that the professionals you consult are able to give you the guidance, peace & ultimately, closure that you need through everything.

I suggest you get some advice regarding having your husband stay until next year, or move out now. You may find it easier on your son to have the separation happen now, & let that be what he knows as "his normal" going forward. As opposed to a year from now, when he is older & more aware of his surroundings & the relationships around him.

But I am not a professional, so I don't know what to guide you, one way or the other.

One thing I will urge you to do through all of this is to "be the better person". There are a million different ways to deal with & react to what is happening. But at the end of the day, you have yourself, & that will always be the case. Make sure you are always OK with how you handled the situation.

This is advice I gave a friend a few years ago, & she came back & thanked me, saying it was one of the anchors she used to keep from flying off the handle about everything.

Again, very sorry for your situation. T.

I am so sorry. And stunned. I was sure it was going to be cheating on a diet. You seem like a level headed gal and very loving when you give your advice. It's hard to believe that H would take that for granted in this world.

I have no experience with this personally. I have had a good friend who was with a serial cheater for almost 25 yrs without knowing so it's good he revealed it. I understand about detangling finances and keeping a stable place for your child. But he forfeited those things when he cheated. He has proven he can't be trusted. Therefore I think you would be better off kicking his butt to the curb and finding a good lawyer first thing. Get passwords and acct numbers. And retirement acct exact amt.

It's going to be a long road to stability but with my friend, she is better off now than when she was married. She is at least on stable ground. You can build on stable ground.

Again, I am so sorry that he only valued himself.

I am so sorry.

Your husband needs to figure out what HIS problem is.

Then the two of you need to take your time, to really work on this.

Such a selfish act. You do not deserve this, but if you love him, and he still loves you, start over, and figure out what YOU need now.

March of 2014 seems so far away for you to continue to live with this cheat. Your son will be fine if you are fine, I think the sooner you separate the better off you will be. <hugs>

I don't think it would be good for your son if you continue to live together. Are you going to continue to put on a show for him? Sleeping in the same bed, hugs and kisses during the day or whatever routines you have extablished? He will know something is going on -- kids just know.

It will be very difficult to share a home for the next 8 months and remain civil to each other. I think staying together for a month or two until you can cover basics such as finding an attorney, place to live ect but 8 months no way.

Oh, so sorry!!!

I can't recommend living under the same roof or not, it really depends on how you and he can handle that. It might be extremely difficult, and cause more distress for your little one than making a clean break.

Been there, done that, you will survive!

Hugs.

IF you can live in the same house as him and still have the same security for finances and decision making then it will be okay for you to live together in a harmonious type of life. That's a BIG IF.

I can tell you that a lot of women going through a divorce how they are finding themselves living a life without their children, without a home, without any retirement, without their same lifestyle or anything resembling it. My friend that had a cheating husband, that moved out and into his girlfriends house, he waited nearly 6 months before filing for divorce and didn't make a house payment, a utility payment, her car payment or insurance, nothing. He makes over 100K per year and she was a sahm. The judge said she didn't contribute to the retirement, she didn't pay her part of the bills so hubby didn't have to pay the bills, that she should have been out there working and making a living. SO she lost everything she owned except a few clothes for herself. She filled out over 100 applications trying to find work and when she did get offered a job since she didn't have full custody of her kids she didn't qualify for child care supplement and couldn't afford to pay anyone.

Life after divorce is not like it used to be. He will most likely file for full custody, child support, spousal support, and anything else he can get. And he'll likely get it all. The courts are starting to swing to the "other" side.

So if you can live with this man as a room mate only, not a sexual partner in any way, just a co-parent room mate then try it for 6 months. Make a hard fast rule that dates are never to be mentioned or brought to the home, the child is to never even know mom or dad is dating anyone else, they are not allowed to be introduced as "friends" either.

No one is allowed to be part of the child's life. If this works then try it for another 6 months. The child will know it's different, mom and dad don't spend time together and they don't do family outings anymore with him.

I dated a guy back in the dating scene days that lived like this. He and his wife got along so much better once they decided to live separate but together that they eventually decided to build him a second residence on the same property. They had a lot of land and it was family land. Not to be divided or sold or anything like that. So if they wanted their kids to inherit the land and all their stuff it worked out very well for them.

Still though, I was never invited to his home nor did I even know where it was. I even met her a couple of times. She had been seeing the same guy for years. They spent all their time at the guys home when their kids were doing something with dad. I know he was telling the truth, he was very up front about his living situation and that he had no intentions of ever filing for divorce.

It was a fun time spent with a man who loved his children and was dedicated to making them the center of his life.

I sort of liked that there was no BS and no games. He was an honest caring guy who made his life work in a different way. One that is non traditional for sure but that worked for him and his family.

If you are going to continue to live together you will have to set down some ground rules for what you are both comfortable with. For example, things like dating and who will be responsible for items around the house. I am so sorry, I know first hand how this hurts. Even if the marriage is beyond repair you might consider talking to a therapist on your own, I know my husbands affairs gave me feelings of worthlessness that I had to work through. It is really great that you two are trying to do what you can to make this transition as easy as possible for your child. Best of luck as you move forward.

I'm really and truly sorry to hear this. I couldn't imagine staying in the same house together for an extended period of time, as in "beyond a month." I've never, ever seen it work out, sweetie. I wouldn't recommend it for all the world in a situation like this. I think it will end up doing YOU more damage and I think it will do your child more damage in the long run if you remain under the same roof. I just can't see any good at all coming from letting your child think you're still together, or from actually being together under the same roof for so long.

But that's just my opinion, and I'm not a counselor or a lawyer. If you do see a counselor in the Church, please make sure that the person is licensed as a therapist. I'd also get a divorce lawyer ASAP. Start keeping a journal, and record of conversations, etc.

Ok I am talking for your kid. My dad was the cheater from the time I was one. My mom tried to make it work for me and my sister. She gave up 10 years later. Wish she left him before I saw what it did to her. Move on....kick him out sooner than later. Don't talk him down to your son and just be a rock. As a mom now I feel for the lack of support my mom had. Hugs it will be okay

I'm so sorry to hear this.

I think that if you can live with The Man civilly than you should absolutely give it a try...it will be much easier on your boy, if he is given love & support & time to come to grips with all the changes that he is going to have to deal with soon.

~Did you catch your husband or did he tell you willingly??
If he told you willingly, without being caught first, that says a lot about him & his character...even though I am sure you don't have good feelings towards him now, right at this moment but if he came forth w/out getting caught, I would hope you would give him some brownie points for that?! Not sure if you guys working things out is on the table or not? But if he told you willingly, I would hope you could keep that in mind...especially while you are living with him...

Sorry for the rambling. I hope some if that made sense? I was trying to put myself in your shoes? I would be beyond heartbroken if this was me & my family...and even though I would never tell my husband this, I would be tempted to give him a second chance? Especially since we do have kids & when I said 'I do' I meant it...for the long run!

omg, i am so, so very sorry. having imagined myself in that position, should it ever happen, the best i can do is send you hugs and keep you in my prayers. there's so much helpful advice below. know that you have friends here who will be supportive no matter what you decide. the only thing i would suggest is to separate as soon as possible for the sake of your son. as the mom of a three-year old, the curiosity questions are valid, but can still be answered tenderly without much detail. the older your son gets, the more resentful he will be. you don't want to wait so long that he wonders if it's all his fault. so glad you're getting help. saying a huge prayer for you as you go through this. <<hugs>> <<hugs>> <<hugs>>

keep us posted, please, and stay strong. you can do this.

I am saddened for you and your son over your hub's gross selfishness. I don't have any profound words of wisdom but keep on keeping on. You have the right attitude regarding putting your son above all the mess. I am the child of divorce and my parents did a lot of things wrong. However, they never said a cross word about the other in front of their kids and we were never made to feel like we had to choose sides. They created a new normal - two houses, two rules, a common goal (raise good people). I wish you all the best and calmer waters soon.

So sorry, best wishes....

I'm so very sorry. :-(

I don't have any advice, I'm sorry. I'm not even sure I know what I'd do. I'd be pissed, steaming mad. But so much would depend on hubby.

I'm so sorry! I don't really have any advice, but just wanted to add another hug to your bouquet.

Maybe establish some ground rules for division of labor in the household chores, having guests over (NO GIRLFRIENDS!), and giving each other the necessary space and privacy until you separate.

FB, I'm so sorry you are going through this, many of us have been in your same shoes.

IMMEDIATELY, get copies of EVERY statement, policy, document, etc that you have. Get your own bank accounts (my ex and I had ONE joint account that we were saving for the kids and he wiped it out before I could do anything with it), get the finances figured out.

I do NOT agree that you should stay in the same house. It is NOT best for your child. There are many steps you need to take and do NOT feel sorry for him. He's going to try to pay less child support, less alimony (if applicable), etc. MAKE HIM PAY WHAT HE SHOULD!!!

And why on earth would you want to see him coming and going and likely going out with who-knows-what and gone all hours of the day and night. No thank you. Get the hell out and move on with your life. Lots of us are divorced and remarried in a WAY better relationship. I wish you the best and feel bad you are dealing with it. Good luck.

ew nasty. i would kick him out! your child will be just fine. you can still be great coparents working together for the sake of your child! when my ex cheated we tried staying under the same roof for a few months and that didnt work. to much hurt and anger between us. i hated seeing his face, his hands, his whole body knowing that just three years before he made a vow to me in front of many people that he would protect me, love me, take care of me and then decided to stick his body parts in other women! take care of you and your child! good luck.

Oh B. I'm so very sorry. Right now, you are numb. Take the time YOU need to adjust to this. I wouldn't give two shitty shits what he may want. Right now is about YOU and YOUR son.

I'm glad that you have made the appointments with the OB and your Priest. However, remember, again, do what is in YOUR best interest and the best interest of your son. Staying in a marriage for the sake of the child is never a good enough reason.

I haven't been through this so I really don't know what advise I can give. Know that you are a strong woman and can get through this and anything else that comes your way. I will keep you and your son in my thoughts and prayers. Big hugs to you both!!!

Get divorced ASAP. The younger your child is the better. The older he is (the longer he has memories of mommy and daddy happy together) the harder it will be on him and the more he will always want mommy and daddy back together and the more he may blame himself.

I'm with Suz. T. I haven't been super active in a while, but I thought the exact same thing. This is so awful. I'm so sorry.

I love you and you are in my heart right now.

Breathe and see where God takes you guys.

All i can say is how sorry to hear this. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Good luck to you

Oh I'm so sorry!! I can't give you any advice because I haven't been in your shoes. But I'm sending hugs and prayers your way.

My opinion is, if you still live together it will hurt you && your child even more. It will still give you hope when you need to let him go && move on to someone who will treat you with all the love && respect you && your little one need! I'm so sorry for you && the child. I wish you luck && hope you two have a happy happy future!

I'm so sad for you and your family. It's terrible that some people can't be happy unless they are hurting others. Your hubby is hurting so many people by doing this. Made worse if the other women know he's married.

I wouldn't continue to live under the same roof. Your son will feel the unhappiness and tension in the household every single day no matter how much you think you are hiding it. Having to look at your hubby every day will bring up the cheating all the time. You will spend far too much time wondering what he's doing and who he's seeing. You really need to be on your own so you can't begin to heal and work on making yourself the strong woman you will need to be to raise your son to be a good man.

Love and HHHHUUUUUGGGGGSSSS to you and yours.

I'm glad you are going to see your priest. That is a good first step. Your Priest can give you all the scriptures about forgiving those that trespass against you.

The next step is to find out WHY he committed adultery. I doubt there would be an emotional bond with so many women, but there may be a physical bond. Or he may have just been satisfying a physical need. It doesn't make it right, but to fix the problem, you have to find out why.

After you find out why, then address the problem so you can fix it. To get inside his head and to help you understand his thoughts/thinking, read the book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." Then give your husband the book to read. I'm sure it will be an eye-opener for the both of you. Then watch the movie, "Fireproof" with your husband. Buy "The Love Dare" and follow its instructions.

You & your husband can save your marriage. But it will take two and it Will be WORTH IT if you can work together.

Before you call it quits, read some of the questions posed by the many moms on here that decided to "Throw the bum out" with out even trying heal and save their marriage. Its much better for the both of you to heal your marriage. My wife and I have had our problems, but we will celebrate our 40th anniversary the end of this month. We struggled, but it has been worth it. This is the best time of our lives.

Good luck to you and yours.

I have no advice for you. But I am so sorry you are going through this. Sending you big huge hugs!

I'm so sorry to hear this! I don't have any good advice, but big hugs to you and your little one...I'm sure this is a terribly difficult time for you!

I'll be honest, if it were my husband I don't really think I could stay in the same house with him for any amount of time after all of that. So glad you are getting checked at your OB and meeting with your priest! Best wishes and God bless!

Awe, I'm sorry, I know how much it hurts.

No advice, but lots of hugs sent your way!

If you're going to end it, the sooner the better. The younger your child is the better. He eventually won't even remember that his dad lived with him, hopefully.