So, I Left Everything Behind....

Contact a domestic violence shelter or hotline and find a counselor.

DO NOT GO BACK!!!!

You can do this I did.

Do NOT fool yourself into thinking that if you go back and "try harder" that it will be better. You will only be giving him permission to behave even worse because he will know that he can get away with it.
Find a good counselor, find friends, find a church if you're religiously inclined. But do NOT go back.

It was not you. It was never you. He cannot be fixed by you. For the sake of your heart and for your child's well being, do NOT go back. I don't know if there is a shelter in your area, with counseling, but whatever you do, find peace where you are and move FORWARD, not backward. My sister was in an abusive relationship - and she wishes she had left earlier for her son's sake because he had no REAL, GOOD male role model. Your son will find that because you left.

D.:

STAY STRONG!! This is NOT your fault. Your husband was a JERK! He is SUPPOSED to be an adult.

DO NOT GO BACK!! If you need to move near your mom - move. Get out and enjoy your life...DO NOT LOOK BACK!! Go to the library for book clubs, find a hobby. Do something you enjoy. But do NOT go back to your husband.

He will beg. He will plead. He will say he's a changed man. But those are ONLY words. Has he gone to anger management classes? Has he done anything to change? If not - they are words.

Yes, it's a struggle. Yes, it's hard. I left my ex-husband while living in another country and divorced him abroad as well. It was NOT easy. But it was WORTH IT!!!

You can do this. Stay strong!

It must be very difficult. Safety is paramount. You could never be happy, if the next moment could bring violence. Many of us have relatives in your position and would love to see them have the victory you have now!

It's going to be a lot of work and faith to recover your self esteem and give some to your child. I urge you to find a church in your area and find people who will be Christ in the flesh for you.

Stop the if onlys, they don't do anything for you. Start the, what next.
You will be able to enjoy life again. You are young and can start over.
You did good mama.

WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!

Run, run far away. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! Do not have second thoughts; you have to protect you and your son. Don't listen to him either, I know the boo - whoos and I am sorry will come, then the anger, then the name calling, etc. You stay strong and take care of you and your son. Yes, it will be hard, damn hard; you can and will be happy!

I had enough and left my abusive ex with a broken jaw, a 2 year old, and a 2 week old with 74 cents in my pocket, no job, no car, and nowhere to stay (back then shelters were not around!) We had to live in friends basements. It was really hard to get back on my feet, but I did, and so can you!!

You can do it!!!!

It is normal to have second thoughts, that is part of why many abusers are able to suck their victims back in over and over. You need to stay strong for your son. I know it is hard, but you have taken the first steps towards your freedom. Is there a domestic violence shelter in your area? If so they may be able to help you with counseling services and group support.

Congratulations! You have taken the hardest step - the first one. Do not ever second guess what you should have done.

Take the time to reflect on the things that you want to do and make a plan to do them. Get the paper and pen and write it down and then put it into action.

Little by little you will feel better about what you have just done and what weight has been taken off of your shoulders. Think of what you have done as sailing off into the beautiful sunset into a new life. If you need to, go get counseling to help you with your choices and decisions. Do not feel ashamed for asking for help.

We at Mommasource are rooting for you to do bigger and better things. The world is your oyster now go for it!

A big huge to you! You go girl!

the other S.

I'm so glad you got out.
While it may seem hard & tough right now, it's so much better to be safe.
People who leave always second guess themselves.
One day very soon you will enjoy life!!! Much better than before AND you
will be safe.
Try to make new friends where you are now. Talk to other moms. But I
would not disclose your status for now.
Go to counseling in your area. You can find that through your current
health insurance or google affordable psychologists in your area.
Tell yourself several times a day that the important thing is that you & your son are safe.
Do not ever believe your husb if he tells you things will change. They won't.
Be kind & loving to yourself.
Enjoy your son & your newfound freedom WITH your son.
Wishing you peace & all the blessings your new life has to offer.
Stay strong!

You will enjoy it to the fullest. You don't realize it now, but a year from now you are going to look back and see how strong and independent you've become. I left an abusive relationship 30 years ago with nothing but my daughter, a garbage bag of clothes and my car. It WAS hard, but it was the BEST thing I have ever done. Your life is now your own. I guarantee that you will be a much happier person and your son will grow up respecting his very strong and independent mother.

If you get lonely, get on this site. You'll feel like you've spent the afternoon chatting with girlfriends!

sounds like you did the right thing. Now the next step is counciling to help your emotional scares heal.

Congratulations!

Stay strong and keep moving forward. You and your son have a bright future ahead. Some days will be harder than others, but give it time and you will start noticing that there are more good days than bad. Soon you will notice that the sun is shining and life is beautiful.
Be very proud of yourself, you deserve it!

PS- I wish I still lived in Queens, I'd take you out for a coffee! xoxo

Congratulations - you made a very smart and brave choice. I know it is was extremely hard for you to do, but it was absolutely the right thing. Don't question it. Even if you kept your house neat as a pin and played the role of the perfect wife, he still would find reason to put you down and treat you poorly.

Your life is going to get much better now that you are out of a dangerous home. Call a lawyer, start divorce proceedings, and start to heal.

I strongly suggest therapy to help work through your feelings and thoughts. I don't know how old your son is, but if he's at least a preschooler or older, therapy can benefit him too.

Hang in there!!! You need to be safe and you will be happy!!! You are in a transition period right now and will do great BUT PLEASE DO NOT GO BACK!!!! Get a counselor or support group and make some new friends in your area. GOD BLESS YOU!!!!

I am proud of you! You just took a huge step towards enjoying life. Sending prayers and hugs your way.

You had two choices life or death, you chose life and don't look back....95% of women and children die when returning back ( within the first three months)