So I Have a Question About Step Parenting!!??

I'm thinking it is because he hears his sister (1/2 sister) call him daddy, so he just does the same. I've seen that happen a million times with kids. He's not confused, he is just copying.

I think he does it because they call Adam Daddy to his sister. He's 5 years old I wouldn't worry about it.

The logic of Adam not being his biological dad doesn't matter. He's 5. He's not a tiny adult.

You are not his mom, and he does realize that, so he says "oops". Again, the logic of the situation doesn't apply. He can't think logically. He's not old enough and his brain isn't developed enough.

Stop feeling bad about his confusion and don't worry about what he calls people. He will eventually figure out how to categorize his family members. Just call Matt "Daddy" during the weekends in front Lucas. And when you refer to Matt while you're talking to Lucas, say "your daddy" to him. If you refer to Adam, then say "your step-daddy".

Hi - if you're using real names, change them in your story :-)

My SD had this issue too from ages 5-7. Her younger brothers had a different dad and because they called their dad "Daddy," she started to call him that too, and called her father "Daddy First Name." We just used to reinforce repeatedly that "Daddy First Name's" name was "Daddy" and the other guy was "First Name." It took her a while to get it, but she eventually did.

It's something that his dad and mom, and you as step-mom and the other guy as, whatever he is (he isn't his step-father if her mom isn't married to him), will just have to gently reinforce over time. If he doesn't really get the relationship, maybe drawing a family tree together will help it make sense.

A lot people here may opine that names don't matter. I disagree. When there are biological parents involved in a kid's life, they have the title of "mom" or "dad" and everyone else can go by something different - a first name, a nickname, whatever. My SD called me by my first name, and she called her step-father by his first name as well after she got over the confusion she had when she was younger.

Reading your SWH - since he calls Adam 'Daddy' do we think he's confused that Adam is his biological dad, or is he not getting enough time with his biological dad (Matt) your fiancé.

So he sees Matt on weekends. You say he works a lot. Is he working a lot on weekends? Or does he spend the weekends with him?

I know a lot of parents who have their kids on weekends and spend the time doing quality time stuff. The also sometimes see their children for an evening during the week or two also. Is that a possibility? Sometimes they go attend a game or something.

As for being confused that Adam is his biological dad? Doubtful - more that he is just five years old, and all these parental figures are numerous. (ETA JB makes a good point, about how to reinforce as she's been through this)

He's 5.

As you say, there is nothing wrong with him calling Adam "Daddy". And obviously nothing wrong with him calling Matt "Daddy".

So, what is the problem? What is your question?

I guess your question is: "How can I force Lucas to call me 'Mommy' because I am jealous that he calls Adam 'Daddy'?"

Well, remember that there is one BIG difference between you and Adam: you are not anyone's actual birth parent, in this story. Adam is truly the birth father of Lucas' sister.

If you want Lucas to call you "Mom" or "Mamalama" or whatever else, just say so. As long as Matt is okay with it too.

I think I’d not make a mountain where there isn’t one. If he calls you Mom and then says oops, you can always say, “I think we need to find a nickname you can call me” and then sit down and think of something he can call you that’s different than what he calls his mom. He is calls his mom mommy, maybe he can call you Mama or Mimi or Mama Tori...