SO, How Do You Handle Bathroom Trips in Public with Opposite Sex Children?

My son is 7. If there is no family bathroom or a single, I still take him with me. I am still waiting to find a ladies room where women are lounging around nude. The ones I go to have doors on the stalls and not much to see. Oh well.

Take him in with you if you feel better. He's still young enough. I will let my 6 year old go in some bathrooms by himself, but usually small ones where I am nearby. Otherwise, he comes in with me. I haven't noticed anyone giving me the "stink eye" for bringing him in, but if I got one of those "looks", I'd ignore it.

Honestly, I really don't get why any woman would be uncomfortable with a young male child going into the bathroom with his mom. Unless the kid is looking under the doors, what is the problem? It's not like he can see anything.

I'd have let him go by himself. He's old enough to scream very loud if anything went on. I always say really really loudly as he's opening the door "I'm right here James, if you need me yell and I'll come right in. If you take too long I'm coming in too". So if anyone is in there to accost someone they know an adult is right there waiting and timing the child. They'd be really on America's Dumbest Criminals if they tried anything with me there.

I stopped taking my son in the ladies room around 5. Personally I was more comfortable sending him in a large public bathroom because there were MORE people, i.e. witnesses, so less chance of anything weird going on.
When/if I ever sent him into a single stall men's room I stuck my head in the door first, to make sure it was empty, then waited outside. I actually did the same with my girls too.

The city of Chicago has a city ordinance that at 6 years old, each child needs to use the bathroom for their gender - if that helps put a "guideline" on what a major city thinks is acceptable behavior.

I think that lots of people have irrational fears of *things* happening in the bathroom. But everyone who has a story tells about their friend who knew someone. I have never heard of ANYONE having a PERSONAL negative experience in the bathroom (other than just regular gross-ness of a public bathroom).

So - I think you go to a bathroom in public view that is busy. What's going to happen in a movie theatre bathroom? There's plenty of people going in and out of there all the time.

My daughter started going on her own at 6. Mostly it was just teaching her the basics. Wipe the seat, make sure there is toilet paper before you sit down. Knock before you enter.

If your son is wierded out by being in public... then have him use the stall not the urinal.

The same rules apply as in life... don't talk to strangers. Do your thing and get out. etc.

I know it SEEMS scary, but really, there is more risk that they will be abducted or molested by a family member. That's not to say don't use caution... but what are the odds that at the exact time your son needs to go there is privacy and the ONE guy who is going to do something immoral happens to be in the exact bathroom your son will go to? It's like almost impossible. Yet, it SEEMS scary for some reason.

Now - I would probably wait outside.... I wouldn't go at the same time he went. I'd wait until he was done and then have him and your daughter wait until YOU got back.

This question has been asked many times. Of course it depends on the location, the situation, and the child, but I think a general guideline of age 5 or 6 is when boys or girls are capable of going to the bathroom by themselves.

"I really don't get why any woman would be uncomfortable with a young male child going into the bathroom with his mom". A woman, maybe not, but what is my young - starting to show signs of puberty and all the shyness that can go with that - daughter (8 - 10) supposed to think when there's boys in the bathroom her age and older?

At 7 he can go by himself. If you prefer...You take your daughter into the ladies', tell him to wait in one spot right outside, then you come out and let him go in the men's and you wait just outside.

Set the rules, no ifs/ands or buts. He goes in, uses the nearest clean stall, does his business, washes up and comes right out the way he came in.

I will be the odd one here who says do what you are comfortable with! My children are 7 & 4. They always come with me. If the bathroom is not busy, then my son takes his own stall & I go with my daughter. If it's busy we go in the larger stall. Maybe I am being over protective but when it comes to my kids, why take the chance? Frankly, no one has ever given me the stink eye & oh well if they do. We try to be respectful of others and be quick but I'm still not taking chances. I see you live in Tampa, so do I. No stores have had a problem with us doing this so far. If they do, then we'll cross that bridge at that time. Until then, I will continue what we do. He doesn't seem to mind either. Good luck!

It all depends on where we are. There are some places that I still won't let my 12 year old son go by himself, the same with my 9 year old son. If I can send them in together I feel better about more places than if it's just one of them alone.
If it's somewhere busy, with a higher turn around of guys going in and out and such I will let them go in by themselves. If it's quitter, at night, too many access points in and out etc then they come in with me.
I am very leary of letting them go alone in some locations. I have an extended family member that was raped in the bathroom of a restaurant while his family dined. He was 11 or 12 at the time. These things do happen!
In the end, do what you are comfortable with and ignore those that give you the stink eye. I would much rather get the stink eye from some uptight person than have something horrible happen to my kids!!!
For the record, in your instance they absolutely would have come in with me.

I always make my 7 year old go before we leave the house, so we can try to avoid this problem. He started using the men's room consistently when he turned 7. I usually wait right outside and have even yelled in to ask if he's almost done. We have also discussed what to do if he feels unsafe. When we are with friends with other boys, they go together and wait for each other. He loves the independence and I'm trying to keep him safe, but not make him fearful. He's using the men's locker room after swimming now too. I feel pretty safe about the pool we go to and the time we go for lessons. There are lots of kids in there with him. I have had to yell in to check on him once, when he was taking a long time and I was worried. Still a bit nerve-racking for mom.

My boys went by themselves by the time they were five. They usually go together now, but when my older son started to go by himself his little brother was only two. If it were somewhere I didn't feel completely comfortable I would have just waited outside the door while he used the washroom, and I might call in after him if he were taking too long, or ask a man to check on him if I was worried. If I have to use the ladies room I ask them to wait outside the door for me.

My son is six. At most places where we are out and about, if he's not with his father he'd rather be with me, even if he's just standing by the sinks and waiting for me. He will use a stall by himself or we sometimes use the bigger stalls, but frankly I would prefer to be a little more modest now that he's getting older. It all depends on the situation. If there was a men's room that was a single occupancy, though, I would let him use it unaccompanied.

My son is 6 and what we do depends on the venue. Lately, I've been more likely to let him go into the men's room alone if we're somewhere relatively small or uncrowded (a restaurant, the neighborhood swimming pool, etc). But, if we're somewhere very crowded (Disneyland, Angels game, etc), then I make him come into the ladies' room with me.

I won't let him go into a public restroom alone if it has multiple entrances/exits either. There has to be only one door so that I can stand outside it. I also sometimes have him look in and tell me if there are other people in there before he goes into a stall.

Depending on the location, I still take both boys in the bathroom with me - 6 and 8. Their safety trumps anyone else's problem in my book!

My son is almost 6, he insists upon doing it himself in the men's room. I stand outside the entrance and wait for him. We have talked about safety and I have no issues going in there after him if I feel it is needed. If I am somewhere I do not feel comfortable allowing this then he goes into the women's with me and I simply tell him I have to go too and we use the handicap stall as well. Most places we go I have had no issues, but my son is pretty capable of soloing it and we started this around the time he turned 6. I admit the first few times I was nervous, but he came out happy as can be and SOOO proud of himself, I am glad he has that ability honestly.

My son is 6.5 and I always bring him in the bathroom with me. He knows the etiquette--stand by the sinks and wait for me, out of the way, and don't dare look under/between the stall doors. I usually encourage him to use the bathroom at the same time to keep him occupied.

until 5 or 6 my boys still came into the ladies' room with me. this is about the time i started having them go to the men's room, though, unless it was somewhere that made me specifically uncomfortable.
if there's no family restroom, i think most women are understanding of little boys having to accompany their moms. the difficulty lies more with little girls having to accompany daddy into a men's room with urinals.
khairete
S.

my son just turned 10 and for the most part I still bring him in with me. In my opinion as long as I am with him and he isn't staring or being loud, I don't really get why a girl would have trouble seeing a boy with his mom. again, it isnt' like there aren't doors in the stall, the most a girl would see is him washing his hands with his mom.

this is probably the last summer I will insist, but I just really think right now that if we are being respectful then it isn't an issue.

If you are uncomfortable with it, maybe you can enlist your husband for a few trial runs... You can send your son into the Men's room by himself, then after a while send husband in to check on him... Then come back out.

The chances really are slim that anything would happen if he goes in by himself... Especially in places that cater to families or have high traffic. (Now, shady bus stop restroom is anger story... Lol.) Things DO happen, but it isn't healthy to live in fear of what-ifs. The best thing you can do is to equip him to handle things like this on his own with safety guidelines... Don't talk to strangers, don't play around, no one in ere will need his help with anything, etc. tell him that if something scares him or if he feels uncomfortable, to yell really loudly. Things like that. (Although, you have to be careful to present all this in a way that doesn't make him feel scared of the men's room!)

My son is 7 and I do not let him go in the bathroom alone when we are out in public. His safety is so important and there are people out there that hurt children that are young. I will let him on occasion go with a "buddy" to the bathroom but it is normally in a familiar setting.

Depends on the situation - is it a multi stall/urinal bathroom or a small 2 person? I like Gamma G's response. No matter what bathroom it is, stand outside the door, say very LOUDLY that you're there and waiting and to yell if you're needed. That's perfect.

I'll tell you a story of what happened to my husband a few years ago. He went to the bathroom in a department store in the mall. I was waiting for him outside and looking at merchandise. It was a small, 2-3 person stall only restroom. No urinals. He noticed someone in the stall next to his, but didn't think anything of it. While my husband was going, the other person dropped a note under the stall asking for sex. My husband couldn't get out of there fast enough, and by the time we told an employee and they got security, the guy was gone. SCARY! My husband will not allow my son to go into a bathroom like that EVER.

I have no idea and have the same issue all the time. My son is 6 and really doesn't want to go into the ladies room anymore, but I worry about him alone in the men's restroom.

Interested to see what the other mamas have to say/suggest.

Some times my 7 year old comes w/me to the girls bathroom. I don't know of too many mom's who feel uncomfortable w/this; however he, does go in the male bathroom as well. It all depends on where we are. I have a 3 year old daughter and we are always using each other's bathroom.

There was a horrible story that one of my high school teachers told us that I can't repeat here but I don't care if my son is 20; if he wants me to go w/him, then I will. He feels very safe on his own. It is because of this story, I don't feel comfortable of ever having any of my children going alone; because you just never know. I try not to let this story not let my son be independent; however, I have to use good judgment. Some times it's hard w/two children and they both have to go at the same time as my daughter copies every thing her big brother does. I do have to say that my son has long hair so a lot of people think he's a girl any way. I do have to say I don't feel comfortable w/small children going on their own.

There is a sign at the community center where we live that doesn't allow boys 6 and up in the girls locker room where the bathroom is. I always remember that when I'm out but I still want my kids close to me. I just watched this show on how children get abducted and one of the kidnappers said to the boy, "you were at the wrong place at the wrong time". The boy was by himself and older. You just never know.

I think it is fine that you took him to the ladies room. There are stalls on every door so he does not see anyone doing their business so I don't see why any lady would have an issue with a young child in the restroom with his mother.

My son is 5 and I don't see myself stopping taking him in to the ladies room any time soon. When he is more mature and strong enough to help him defend against some perv, he will go in the men's room alone.