Slow Eater - Forest Lake,MN

Why are you rushing him to eat. It is actually better if he takes his time to digest his food. As long as it goes down, is healthy, then don't rush him..next thing he eats fast, has indigestion, doesn't absorb his food well and washes it down. It's ok to eat slow..

I'll answer your question from two different perspectives: as someone who has a long history of working with kids, I'd say you've got yourself a "non" problem. You have a terrific eater who you could accomodate easily by just scheduling an hour for meals. Plan to eat your own food, let him linger at the table alone, if need be, and go take care of what you need to be doing. Or save/schedule little 10-15 minute tasks for this time, so he's not holding up your time/schedule. If you have a date to get to, start the meal earlier.

You do want to make sure there's nothing else on the table: no toys, books, pens and paper, etc. Just the food. And then, let him be, because IMO, he's getting way too much attention for a behavior you'd like to change. Some of these bargaining techniques are actually positive reinforcement for what he's doing. (Some aren't, and I'll address that in a second.)

Now, for the second perspective: I am a slow(er) eater. Always have been. My stepfather used to threaten the kids "Last one at the table does the dishes.".... well, I did a lot of dishes. I like eating more slowly, savoring the food I've made or received from someone else, and I like eating until I feel full, and then stopping. And eating in a more relaxed manner typically makes digestion easier on the body. I see all of these as good things. I am not a terribly slow eater, but I do know many family and friends who eat *way* too fast, which makes me look even slower. Lingering over a lovely dinner with friends and a glass of wine is just about one of the best things I can think of.

Please, too, stop taking away his possessions. You don't want him to develop eating disorders. Being forced to 'eat more quickly' in order to keep his favorite toys is seriously messing with a child's sense of security. If he begins to associate 'eat fast= keeping my favorite things', he'll be getting set up for some very unhealthy thinking regarding food/eating. If you need a "something to do" because you and your husband are getting fed up, start using a timer at meals. Set it for 50 minutes, and clear his space when the timer goes ding. This gives him plenty of time and you a sense of finality in regard to the meal. My son's preschool allows 45- one hour for lunch for the group, and these women have been doing this for a LONG time too.

Also know, too, that other social situations are going to correct this. At my preschool, the majority of kids don't take enough time for lunch-- I've had to set a timer to *keep* them at the table, because they want to go play, then are hungry an hour later. In your son's case, I'd just be cleaning up and let him eat during after-lunch storytime, and then ask him to clean up his lunch when we are getting ready to head outside a half-hour later. I also have a very slow eater in my group, too, and this is the option available to her. Her time at the table is slowly being whittled down, and this has been *her* work to do this, not mine. In kindergarten and in grade school, their daily structure/schedules will help him learn to keep moving along with lunch and to eat a bit faster. But see, too, how flexible you and your husband can be in accomodating an otherwise fine eater. Sorry this is so long. Hope you know how lucky you are that this is the big eating problem in your home!;)

Let him take his time. We've developed a very bad habit of eating fast, we're supposed to slow down not make them speed up.
I have an 11 year old who has been a slow eater all his life, I was a slow eater when I was a child, unfortunatley my parents took that good habit away from me and I no longer have that "issue".
Your son is healthy, praise him for taking his time with his food and strive to be more like him. Sometimes we need to slow it down a bit.

If he is rediculously slow, then eat your meal at a slow pace and leave the table when you are finished. Give him instructions to let you know when he's done and you'll help him clear his spot. Just don't make it a punishment thing.

I suspect he's eating the way we all should be eating!
Don't rush him!
At the most, set your microwave timer for 45 mins and refer to the time every 10 minutes or so......
But really...are you going to take away what he's eating if he's not finished eating after 45 mins?

okay I can totally relate to your kid. I was a slow eater my mom would have the entire table cleaned and the dishes for a family of seven done before I would finish, I used to line peas up on my fork to see how many I could get on each. He will grow out of it and at least he is eating all of it and it is actually better for him to eat slower than cram as much in his mouth as he can. As long as I picked up my plate and glass when I was done I was allowed to finish whenever.

I say let him take his time, as long as he's eating and not playing around. I, too, think that mealtime has become a crazy rushed time and is not savored like it should be. I know a lot of fast eaters, my husband is one of them. I often feel a little slighted that he can't slow down and enjoy his meal, that I prepared for him, and sit at the table with me while I finish eating. But, that is another story. I physically cannot eat fast, I have an issue where the muscles around my esophagus will start to spasm if I don't chew well enough and it is painful. Also, there have been times when I had a toothache that didn't allow me to chew fast, and slowed down my eating considerably. Have you considered that something may be causing discomfort while he's eating, causing him to go very slow? Beyond any physical issues though, I enjoy eating slowly because I can really taste the food I'm eating, appreciate the textures and the flavors. Perhaps your son just loves food and wants to savor it. My advice would be to make sure the portion sizes are appropriate (not too big), and the table is free of distractions (no toys, no tv). Then let him eat until he's done and if that means that you have to get up from the table to do other things, I think that's fine. You could try giving him smaller portions and letting him take seconds if necessary.

From a dietary standpoint each meal should last at least 30-45 minutes. Eating slowly is a very good habit. It keeps people from overeating, because they give theimselves more time to be able to experience their body's "full" signals. It also helps preventing things like heartburn and indigestion.
I would suggest that you try to slow down your eating habits instead of trying to speed him up. I am a fast eater as well (who isn't these days, as time is money), but I clearly remember that in my childhood family dinners where about 1 hour long every night... with everyone eating and drinking and sharing what happened during their day.
Good luck!

I have an Aunty like that.
My Mom said, that ever since she was a child.... she has been a 'slow' eater. And she still is.

I don't know that you can make someone eat fast or faster.... it is almost a personality/disposition thing of a person.

As my Aunty has said to others "Well you all eat too fast. That's why you have stomach problems and you're big in the middle" when others comment about her slow eating. She is a very... even keeled person and very patient... the kind of person anyone can count on. And she eats slowly. It has never gotten in the way.... of her life.

Don't punish your son for it.
He is not being "naughty." Punishments are only for those who are 'bad.'
Or, you may be giving him stress... from pressuring him to eat too fast, or when you are done. Kids... can get stress. And stress and eating do not mix well. Or, he may get eating hang-ups (bulimia, anorexia).... which is never good, for a child.

all the best,
Susan

I've given up trying to get my daughter to eat any faster. I don't know why she does it, but she's always been this way. Before she started kindergarten we warned her for months that she wouldn't have a lot of time to eat at school for lunch. Even now, as a 1st grader, she still has trouble finishing her lunch at school, but she has gotten better. Slow eating is just her way. I don't make a big deal out of it anymore, I let her eat at her own rate, and when she's done, she's done. We sometimes struggle with her not finishing her dinner to do something else and then complaining that she's hungry at bedtime. I remind her every time she doesn't finish her dinner that there is nothing else to eat before bedtime, and sometimes she'll go back and eat more, sometimes she won't. I just stick to my guns, and do the same with my older two kids.

I think you're giving too much attention over something that just may be the way he is. As a parent we have to pick our battles, and battling with him over the speed of his eating probably isn't worth it. As long as he eats all the kinds of food he needs to be healthy, let him be. There are worse things to worry about!

Sounds like he's a normal 4 yr old! Mine does the same thing. The only things they can really control in their world are eating, sleeping & using the bathroom. Mine has reverted to accidents (we presume) because he's trying to test how long he can wait before it's too late. He takes forever at meals (I usually have to leave him at the breakfast table to tend to his 7 month old sister). If you can relinquish the control, eventually he'll come around. Especially if after dinner is "game time" or something and you get started without him.

AS frustrating as it is for you he is setting himself up to be a very healthy adult. I wouldn't change anything.

My husband was in the service and he eats so fast it's crazy (he claims they only had 20 minutes for b/l/d!! I now eat really fast and we have one slow eater in the house - I'm constantly praising her in the hopes that everyone else in the house will slow down b/c it's so much healthier!

I don't have any advice for getting your kid to eat faster I just wanted to say be grateful your child eats just about anything and I wouldn't punish him for being a slow eater. My daughter is the same way, except she's also super picky, so I know it can be frustrating. She is in all day kindergarden now, and everyday comes home from school hungry, because she doesn't have enough time to eat even half her lunch at lunchtime. Her teacher has tried different things and nothing works. I've come to understand that's just how she is. On the bright side eating slower is better for you, and you tend not to gain weight because you usually know when you're full sooner, so you don't over eat.
With my daughter we can't get her to eat faster, in fact she will tell me I'm not eating faster today! So, we eat until we are done. Sit a talk for a few minutes and then get on with what we're doing. I'll do dishes while she finishes or whatevver. It's not worth the fight and in the grand scheme it's not that big a deal. If we were out somewhere we learned to take a to-go container so she could finish in the car and we wouldn't sit there all day. At school she eats what she can and then has a snack or what's left of her lunch when she gets home. Sometimes you just have to find ways to adapt. Eating faster may not be something he can do, so taking away toys/snacks/etc. won't change anything.

He must be an only child. When I was a kid, anyone who putzed around would get their food stolen right off the table. :)

To this day, I still eat way too fast. Thanks, siblings!

Really, though, taking 30 minutes to eat should be ok. But when it's time for school, maybe breakfast should be done a bit faster.