Sleepless Nights - San Jose,CA

I don't think it's bad that she sleeps with you : ). If it works for you both that is great. If you really want her to sleep in her own room do it gradually. Maybe give her a t-shirt or something of yours to snuggle with. I would read to her and cuddle her in her room and let her fall asleep there... then if she comes into your room, you can take her back. Some kids just are this way - my 5 year old still comes in 1/2 the nights... I agree with S.H. and just try to enjoy it... I know there will be a day she "doesn't want me around".

In some cultures the family sleeps together in one bed. Some of the best adjusted, most independent children I know sleep in a family bed in our country although the mom is from a different culture. Don't think that what works for your child or your family is "bad".

I am the mother of five children and am now a great grandmother. We had a big bed, low to the floor and if the children had a bad dream or got scared or lonely for some reason in the night they came running in to cuddle with us. Usually they were still there in the morning. We didn't have to get up and go to them and we all got a good night's sleep.

They had their own beds and usually their own rooms and sometimes slept with an older sibling especially when we had gone out in the evening and left them with a baby sitter. Still, when they needed the assurance and comfort and safe feeling of being with mommy and daddy, they were welcome in the warmth and closeness of the big bed.

It really never seemed like an issue for us.

N.

They grow out of it.
My kids did that too.
It was no biggie.
I did not battle about it.
I went by my kids' cues... and per their individual selves, and how I knew them.

What about, you make a place for her on the FLOOR of your room, instead??? She can go sleep there.
That is what we did with my kids.
It worked for us.
We ALL got sleep.
My kids could go there if/when they need to and if sick.
AND developmentally, from 2 years old, they get bouts of separation-anxiety still... AND their cognition & imaginations are changing. THUS, they begin to get general night-time 'fears' and fears of the dark etc.
So they wake, they get scared, and yes they have nightmares too.
It is developmental, based.

My kids woke too.
Your child is not the only one.
Nor is your child the only one to sleep with her Mommy.
In some cultures, the whole family sleeps in one room.
So.

One day the child won't even want to be near you.

Oh wow my 2 year old daughter does the same. She wakes up at 4am and sneaks into our bed. We have a 4 month old also but she sleeps in a pack and play next to my side. My oldest slept with us until she was 18 months but we lived with family and had no choice to share a room with her. Now she has her own room and a toddler bed that she has no problems going to sleep in. But every morning 4am there she is tip toeing in. I wish I had advice for you but I just wanted to let you know your not alone. We love that she can come to us to feel safe and comforted. I do miss it only being my husband and I. We are totally guilty for her sleep issues it was just as hard for us to get her out of our bed as it was for her. Best of luck to you, hope you get some great ideas. I'll be over here on the sleepless night team with you :0)

We also lived this situation :) What finally got all of us more sleep was the advice of the book "Sleeping Through The Night" by Jodi Mindell. It's on Amazon here:
http://www.amazon.com/Sleeping-Through-Night-Revised-Todd...
I read about 4 popular sleep books and this was the one that actually fit our situation (changing the habits of a toddler), was not preachy, and really helped. I've recommended lots of times. Good luck! Wishing you a full 8 hours sometime soon!

Why is it bad that she sleeps with you? "Good" is whatever sleeping arrangement gets the most family members the most/best sleep. My son's 3 1/2 and on my nights off still usually sleeps with me...

Anyway, my REAL point is that since she's still sleeping with you, you probably both fall back to sleep MUCH faster and easier than if she woke up in a room down the hall all by herself....

First, I want to let you know that you are not alone in this. I, too, have my daughter sleeping in my bed. The difference? She's now 11. The longer she's there, the harder it will be to make the transition to her own room/bed. I have worked with professional behavioral specialists to try to get her in her own bed, to no avail. I guess it will come in time, after all she will be a teenager soon. I am hoping she will want her own space and privacy..... It's important for her to learn independence. I let her know, when she is thirteen or starts menstrating, its time to sleep in her bed in her room; whichever happens first. ( I mention her own room as well as bed because she has asked about bringing her bed in my room as a solution. I said no) I wish you well in your journey and know you are not alone.