Sleeping Through the Night - Mancelona,MI

We went through this with my son, including the throwing up. I know you said that Daddy works a lot, so this may not work for you. But what we did was get me out of the situation all together. Would Daddy be able to put her to bed at night or even go to her in the night? It might be miserable for him for a few days but once she realizes that she isn't going to get you in the middle of the night, she may start sleeping through. My son did and it makes a world of difference. There are still occasions when he'll have a bad night, but for the most part he is a great sleeper.

I, personally, don't believe in letting them cry it out. If you were only on this planet for 16 months, you might feel a little insecure if you couldn't smell, feel, hear your mom, especially if she was taken away right after her birth to be cleaned and then brought back later. I find that many c-section babies are even more insecure, afraid of the dark, etc because they were taken away and then returned after recovery. If that's your first experience on this planet, it might make you wonder where mom is. Don't get me wrong, not ALL c-section babies are insecure, (before someone sends me some scathing e-mail) as some babies are born independent and no matter what happens, they are resilient, but we are not all wired the same way. Some things impact different people in different ways.

Our kids slept in out bed until they were about 16-18 months and then we made a gentle transtion for each of them. For #1, we put the crib mattress on the floor up against our bed, so when he woke up, wah-lah, we were there! #2 we moved into a crib right next to your son's bed, so he still heard the breathing of our son. #3, we moved at 18 months into a twin bed into her own room....she still sometimes wakes up and gets into our bed (she just turned 2 last week). I can hold my kids close and say, "I got you. I got you," and once they fall sleep with me, I can move them back into their beds.

She's only little for a little while and someday, she won't even want you to kiss her goodbye when you drop her off somewhere, so at least she wants you and loves you. It's all perspective.

Well, is dad willing to be the one to go in and deal? If what she is wanting is you, maybe if she can only get dad, she will chill. If daddy checks her and kisses her and leaves, then he can go back in the first night like every 10 minutes or so, reassure her and leave. I know it is hard to see your child upset but I also think it is super important for a little one to know that they aren't running the house. She sees that if she pulls out all the stops she can control things. I think this can actually stress a child because they are not equipped to be in control and I believe showing them that you are in control is important, makes them secure that the parents can handle things. If she is not wet and not sick, there is no reason for her to be able to use screaming to get her way. Now if you guys make a decision that she will sleep with you or make some decision of how to handle it that's cool. But I don't think it sends a good message to allow her screaming to change things midstream. If you have put her bed, that is where she sleeps. I do think checking her is fine. I will say that my firstborn is a really strong willed, leader type personality. We had to go through some rough nights because us going in made it so much worse. But he did get the message that nighttime was for sleep and at 2 1/2 is an awesome sleeper. Didn't take long either. Best wishes!

I'd say she's giving you some very clear messages in the only way she knows how: I need you, Mommy! Why she needs you and for how long isn't something you need to know in order to meet this need. It will not forever be this way, but it sure is now. The more you can take this in stride and be there for her, the sooner it will pass and the healthier she will be emotionally and physically. What do you think goes on in her mind when you refuse to help her? Put yourself in her shoes - or pajama feet. Please respond in a loving way to her. I'm not saying it's easy but you are all she's got, Stephanie. She's counting on you!

My 10-month old was not a good sleeper and woke up every 2-3 hours crying for until he was 9 months. I work FT and was desparate to get sleep after 9 months of deprivation, but I also don't like the idea of the CIO method. My son's sleep improved significantly after we stopped giving him his milk bottle at night (we still sometimes give him water when he wakes up). What helps to get him back to sleep when he does wake up crying and sitting or standing up is, rather than pick him up, put him back down and stand by the crib with my hand on him, just letting him know that I am there. He usually settles down within a few minutes and falls back asleep. I try to keep my hand on him until he does fall back asleep, otherwise he will wake back up, turn right over and try getting up again. Good luck!

i know this won't make you feel any better but i am still where you are. except for my youngest will be 2 yrs next month. the only time i have really got a GOOD night of sleep is when i send him and his brother off to grandma and grandpa's. which does not happen very often since they live 2 1/2 hrs one way. i tell grandma sorry if he doesn't sleep real great. but when they come home i feel rested. i hate the cry it out method. i usually wind up either laying on his floor and falling asleep or putting him in the living room and falling asleep on the couch. i need my sleep just as much as him. sorry i cann't help.

My children have never been great sleepers. My 7.5 month old son wakes up anywhere from 2-4x a night - sometimes for an hour or more!! I usually end up with him in our bed. My 2.5 year old daughter co-slept with us part-time (usually the 2nd half of the night) from a few months old (nursed them both). She only recently has begun coming into our room after sleeping through the night entirely for a few months (maybe waking 1-2x a week). But for the last week, she wakes up every night and ends up in our bed. Last night it took her 40 minutes and she couldn't fall asleep so I took her to bed with me at 820 and we fell asleep! Granted, my husband works until midnight, so we have more room for the two kids and myself (LOL).

I am not a fan of CIO - I believe that kids will eventually want their time away from me so for now, I do not mind letting them sleep with me. I have a single friend who's 9 year old daughter sleeps with her a few times a week. I have another single friend who's 12 year old son slept with her until he was like 4 but never wakes up at night and never comes into her room. I just think all kids are different - some need more nurturing and caring, some need less. Do what works for you! If you don't want her to sleep with you - figure out a way to get her back to sleep (rocking, laying with her, letting her cry, etc). For me, I'd snuggle the 1st and 2nd time and put her back into her bed. If it happens a third time (or my rule was after 2/3am) then she would come into my bed!

I do not think it's unhealthy for her to want to cuddle/snuggle with you nor do I think it's unhealthy for her to sleep with you (all night, part of the night). The Family Bed is common in a lot of cultures!

I have two boys. The first son I was a stay at home mom at the time, by the time he was 2-2.5 he was pretty much going to bed/staying in our bed full time. We purchased his big boy bed and turned him cold turkey to sleeping in his bed. We just explained that it was time... we helped him fall asleep by laying with him and/or reading to him. I was amazed how quickly he transitioned.
We are now onto our second son, and I feel like I'm again doing what I said I'd never do... however this time it's different as just like yours, he starts out his night in his own bed but 4-5 hours later he's crying for me. I have just come to rationalize that at least I get those first hours of quality sleep... and in another year or so I'll transition him to his own bed just like his brother... at least I hope :).

so sorry you're going through this mommy, my son has never been a good sleeper so I can sympathize...I wasn't as patient as you though, I let him cry it out when he was about 6 months old...

this is a hard suggestion but you may want to do a little tough love...after all, it's hard to be a good mom on little sleep so this will benefit both of you...I know that she screamed and threw up and lost her voice before...but you might just have to let her do that for a few nights, she's old enough now that you can talk it over with her before bed. You can tell her that you will come to make sure she is alright if she calls (so she knows that if it's serious you won't just leave her screaming) but she is not to get out of bed and you will not pick her up out of her bed until morning (or whatever time you consider appropriate).

The first time I let my son cry it out I thought he would never stop crying and it broke my heart so bad, we soothed him at his door with our voices but didn't touch him...it took about 3 nights of screaming before he figured things out...and he's never seemed untrustworthy of me or less loving toward me since :) he is 3 years old now and still wants to come in our bed often (now that he's in a big boy bed) and sometimes we are a little too soft on him and then have to toughen up when we realize we are too tired hehe...

Just take it at your own pace...maybe you could even start with just letting her cry for 5-10 minutes then increasing the time with each wake-up. Good luck! You can do it!

I will be honest with you--I have been in the SAME situation for 3 years!!! My son just turned 3 and he has NEVER been a good sleeper. When he was about the age your daughter is I was also at my wits end...I literally tried EVERYTHING!!! Talked to everyone about ideas, tried everything I read or heard (letting him cry, letting him sleep with me, giving him a snuggy, giving him a binky, etc.), and nothing has worked...and still doesn't. And after all that I also learned that it is just me he wants--he needs to know I'm there. At this point he wakes up usually once or twice a night, all I have to do is go in there tuck him back in and he's out. However last night he was up probably 4 times, which leaves me exhausted today. I don't really have any advice to offer, other than its just something you may have to learn to cope with. Other moms who are in the same boat have told me eventually they will outgrow it, usually around 3-4, so I'm hoping thats the case. I have a 10 week old baby girl who's been sleeping 10-12 hours straight thru at night since she was 3 weeks old, so obviously its not anything I have or have not done, I have learned after all this time that some times its just who your child is and what they need. I know you are frustrated and tired, but just try to remember that they will not be little for long and eventually you will be dealing with a teenager who refuses to get out of bed in the morning LOL!!!!

You're gonna get a lot of varying responses on this one. Figure out what the end result is that you want, and be consistent on how you get there.

Sleep is an important factor to my overall well-being. That being said, here is what works best for ME: "The Rule of 3 Nights" and a version of "cry it out". I would let my boys scream/cry for 5 or 10 minutes (whatever I was comfortable with, depending on their age) before going in to comfort them. Comfort = hugs, kisses, but never picking them up - a very brief and boring interaction. Expanding the time intervals to get fewer and farther in between, and eventually they learn to self-soothe and go back to sleep on their own.

First night is the worst, and you're ready to scrap the whole plan - STICK TO IT! Second night is a bit better, but not great yet, but it will get there. And ususally, by night three, it's a breeze. It might take some kids about a week to adjust to the "new normal", but again, consistency is the key!

Good luck.

I have two kids 8 and 5 we finially got them both sleeping in there own beds. What I found that worked for us was that We would let them fall asleep on our bed or with us, then we would put them in there own beds for a few months. Now we put them straight into their beds tell them a bedtime story and turn the radio on (we use the his kids radio) I even leave the light on until i know that they are sleeping. Its been working for us for the last year. It's all just trial and error. You will find something that works for you. Just be patience.

Babies go through many different sleep phases. At least, that's what our pediatrician tells us when we ask him for his advice on our 3.5 year old who isn't a good sleeper.

At that age, we just let them snuggle with us in bed - with both of us being working parents, we really couldn't afford the sleep deprivation as we were both driving ~1000 miles/week for work and needed our alertness.

If it were my child, I'd personally cave and let her snuggle until she's back to sleep. I don't think you're going to develop any long-term habits that you can't break. Our 3.5 year old is motivated by a figuring of Peyton Manning and has slept in his bed all night for the past 4 nights (he's only done it a handful of times before in his life).

Wish I had better advice. Good luck.

Do you want a 4, 9 or 12 year person in bed with you? If you don't mind the inturruption and lack of marital privacy that the crowd provides, and you aren't worried about smothering (which I am terrified of) then by all means, continue allowing your child to determine when and where they sleep. Why even bother putting them in their own bed?
You are the parent, you are the one who is capable of rational thinking. A little sleep deprivation or a few nights may be worth skipping ahead to YEARS of full nights of sleep.
I'm all for teaching your children that bed time means bed time, and that mama and daddy are here for you but everyone needs sleep.
Let them cry it out. It will take 3-5 nights of you being broken hearted and emotionally exausted, but by the end of one week you and your husband should be sleeping through the night. Alone. In your bed.

First, I am NOT a fan of the "cry it out" method. Second, I have 3 grown children who are totally normal. That said, I believe baby's needs (and she is STILL a baby) do not stop just because it is night time. Most adults do not sleep alone, why do most people put their little ones off in a dark room all alone only to wake up possibly frightened by a dream or noise? Do you ever awaken about something that happened during the day...no clue why and can't get back to sleep? There are so many "what ifs" and scenarios that could cause a little one to wake up and just want her mom...there is nothing wrong with that. Mine all did it. What worked for me was going to them if needed, NO talking, NO lights, NO bottle/breastfeeding...just being there to comfort and reassure...a snuggle or fanny-patting. She will grow out of it. The stress you are putting on yourself and her is not necessary or like you said healthy for either of you. If she calms down and goes back to sleep after you go to her and let her know you are there for her, what's the harm in that? You will get lots of opinions on this site and from friends and family. You need to do what works for YOU and your little sweetie who really just wants her mom. You are the most important person in her life! If your friends and family don't agree with getting up and you are OK with it...do not tell them. Who cares as long as you and baby are OK? Years ago when mine were little I attended Le Leche League meetings. One of the moms there, who had 4 boys said she believed that if you get up with them at night and be there for and with them as babies....you won't be up waiting for them to come home LATE as teens. Now that mine are grown and gone...I believe that to be true. All the best to you!