Sleeping Problems with 4 and 5 1/2 Year Old - Help

As Grandma T says, you are in charge. If you want them in bed take them to bed, and tell them they need to stay there. You decide when it's lights out and quiet time. If either creeps into your room, get up, silently walk them to bed and leave. You may have to do it a few (or many) times until the new routine sinks in, but if you're consistent, do it in silence with no engaging, they'll get it.

And you can lock your door if they fail to get the hint, and tell them "This is Mom and Dad's room, you can't just walk in," and teach them to knock so you can decide if they come in or not. May sound harsh but it teaches boundaries and respect : )

I'd say start the routine a little earlier and end it a little earlier.
You are in charge.

They miss you mom. I know you are tired, but please see it from your children's point of view. Now that we are modern, less time spent with children.
My mom was working, too. And she was tired, too. But whenever I saw her entering the room, you have no idea how much I love that, how much I miss her. Even seeing her face, laying my head on her arms were so peaceful, I still remember it till now.
I know that Americans prefer to sleep alone, it was successfully adapted by my in laws. They adore Americans parenting, it doesn't turn out well.
My hubby and I are currently staying in US, and many times his mom call him and ask him to call, but he just do it because obligation. I know why. When he was 4, he remember that his mom refused to sleep with him despite the fact that he miss her so much. He slept alone since babies, but he said he remember clearly how his mom looked unhappy and grossed. What shocks me is that he said he never miss his mom, that he felt that his mom only care about him just because she has to. It is horrible.
My parents on the other hand, are those who adores co sleeping. I slept with my parents till I was 10. They were always welcoming me, I cuddled with my mom while my dad told me stories and massaged my mom's feet. After that my cool mom always give me some advises, I was so happy. Because I saw my parent's romance, I learn healthy relationship. Cuddling with them gave me peaceful feelings, whenever I am sad, I remember this and I know that love is always there to support me. My father and my mother stories actually shapes who I am today. I learn to be honest ( believe me, I never cheat in any exams, because my mom told me this before bed). I learn to never run to drugs, but run to their beds if I have problems because I know my mom would never ever shut me down. Until today, I call her a lot. I love her so much. My most vivid memories about herand my late dad is the before bed rituals. Even today, I still remember her advises.
If you don't like what you have, you must like what you have.
E., if you are sad because you have no shoes, look at those who has no legs.
E., my pray for you is that you are blessed enough. If you are rich, you will be arrogant. If you are poor, you blame God.
Comparing my husband's experience and mine, hopefully now you can see something. I know my parent's way is so not American, but you don't want to be my in laws.
Try to be cheerful when you meet them. It is only a moment before they grow up. Don't look depressed, you can pursue your career later, but you cant rewind the time. My mom was tired, too, but she always smile. Her smile is the prettiest. For me, she is the prettiest woman ever.

I, too, enjoyed mommy snuggles with my babies when they were the ages of yours, but it did become a more time consuming process with my son, who was more interested in snuggling than sleeping. Is it possible to put them in bed with each other for snuggles after a reasonable amount of mommy snuggling? I know that might not work because they would want to play, but it did work at my house. There was still mommy snuggle time, but then I would get up and leave them, and if one still needed snuggles (usually my son), he would crawl into bed with his big sister, who would just throw an arm over him and keep on sleeping. He was content, she was undisturbed, and I wasn't in bed with one or the other of them until 10 p.m. (or all night if I fell asleep in their beds).

I know you don't want to fight with them at bedtime but you need to put your foot down. I would do a sticker chart or something. So you tell them every night that if they go to bed and stay in bed without you having to lay with them etc. then they can put a sticker on their chart in the morning. Then once they go a whole week (so 7 stickers) in a row you will give them a treat. Whatever they like....a trip to McDonalds, buy them a small toy, or even put together a goody basket before hand and keep it in the house. So when they get all those stickers they can pick something from the goody basket. You won't have to do this forever but it might be a funner way to get them in a new routine. They are old enough to understand what you want them to do so this might work well. And if they do get up and come find you, then you give them the least interaction as possible. Just take them by the hand and put them back to bed. Once they realize no matter how many times they come out or how much they cry and fuss you aren't going to give in they will give up.