Sleeping Problem!!

I am extremely against all forms of "Crying it out", especially when it involves developing new nighttime habits. I would not like to start a debate, however, so feel free to message me privately and I'd love to give you advice that I tried. Both my children went through periods of distress at going to bed and now sleep 100% through the night. And I never let them cry it out, ever.

I second the nomination for Elizabeth Pantley's book, "No Cry Sleep Solution" And Kim West's book is very very good, and has some gentle sleep ideas, too :)

My suggestion is this... don't drive her around anymore. Have a bedtime routine that is the same every single time. For me, its bath and then 1 or 2 stories. Then lights out and to bed. Explain that if she throws her blanket, you won't be giving it back to her. And most of all, let her cry it out. Even if you have to plug your ears to get through it. It has been my experience that it takes roughly 3 days to get the crying to stop. If she knows you are firm and resolute, she will follow your lead. If she thinks that you are hesitating at all, she will feed on that apprehension and use it to her advantage (ie continue to throw things, cry, etc). It won't be easy in the short term... but trust me that it does work. You just need to stay firm and follow through. Every time you give in, you set yourself back a few steps.

I have totally been there. Feels like yesterday!

My daughter is 27 mos. now, but she was about the same age as your daughter when her sleep "problems" were happening.

I want to recommend "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West. This is an incredible book and it taught me how to handle her screaming and everything that is involved. And, it teaches you how to make them learn to fall asleep on there own.

It is a process and you will need some patience and a good book to read while you are doing it. The Bible got me through.

Enjoy!!

Please let us know how it goes for you.

S. Baker
www.MakesMoreScents.com
www.kissesfromthefather.blogspot.com

Hey S.,
My son is 13 months old and we were having the same problem. I took him to the doctor for his 12 month c/u and the doctor told me to put him in his crib at bed time, which it has always been 9:00 p.m. , and just let him cry it out. It took about 3 nights but finally it worked. So now when it is bed time 9:00, I put him in his crib with his blankey and pacifier and he rolls over and closes his eyes. It is like magic! aahaha... I won't lie to you the first couple of nights are hard listening to them cry but it is so worth it. The only reason why he was crying is b/c he knew i would come back in. I think your daughter is throwing her blanket out of the crib because she knows you will come back in and get it for her. They are way smarter than we give them credit for i think. Oh and by the way when i put my son in his crib i leave his night light on b/c i dont want him to be all alone in the dark, he doesnt seem to care ne more though.
Goodluck let me know if it works!
E.
22 married for 4 years 13 mo old boy

S.,
I messed up with my boy, who is now 5. I rocked him to sleep every night and made sure he was totaly asleep before putting him in bed. untill he was almost 3!!!can you say heavy and exausting. I now have a little girl who is almost a year old. I make up my mind that I was not going to do that again but I did not know how to calm her. She would cry till she couldn't breath. I would go into her room after a few min. and her face would be covered with tears and snot. Then I watched Supper Nanny one night she had the parent put the child in the crib then sit in the room visible to the child and after doing this each night the child would cry less and less. This realy helped me. I would put my head down not to make contact with her but give her the comfort of me still being there with her. Then I was talking to another women and she suggested that I wait until she was not asleep but groggy then put her down. This actually worked. It all took a couple of weeks to have a full affect but I went from not even being to hold her to putting her in her crib without even one cry!!!!
There is nothing like putting them to bed at the same time in peace and quiet. Hope one of these help you. Good luck.
K. B.

Sounds like you have your work cut out for you.

I would suggest reading/studying every METHOD there is out there and going with the one you can live with. The Ferber method sounds really good because it gradually takes you out of the room. 1st night sitting by the bed, 2nd night 2 feet< away, 3rd 4ft.+away. You get the picture until you are out the door. If she throws her blankie and paci out. Warn her twice at 13 months she is ready to learn about natural consequences. "if you throw your paci out you will not get it back" Third time DON't give it back to her.

It may seem harsh but, you are only human and she has to learn to fall asleep on her own.

Also, I would recommend an almost Ritual at bedtime. Don't let anything mess up the Routine/Ritual for the next few weeks. We read stories at night and have since both my girls were little, little and I can tell days that we are so busy church,etc. WE dont read my little one 3 (almost 4) has more difficult time settling down.

Also, we have "Sleep Spray" Lavendar pillow spray from Bath and Body.

Good Luck and Enjoy her while she is little they grow fast.

I can sympathize with you. I'm sorry. I know being a first time mother can be vey stressful and hearing your baby cry is even more so. I did something when my child was 3 months old. I used the Feber method. That means letting the child learn to put him/herself to sleep. It may take up to 7 days but I was able to do it in two! What happens is the first night you put the baby in her crib and let her cry for 5 minutes. Then you go in and soothe her. Put her back down again and let her cry again for 10 minutes. Then you go back in and soothe her again. Then you let her cry for 15 minutes thereafter until she falls asleep. The next day you start out at 10, 15, 20 and then the next 15, 20, 25...you will not get to that point. I know this may seem cruel and will rip your heart out, but you will be glad you did this. I have three children and I did it with each one of them and it worked like a charm for me. Please let me know if this works for you. Remember not every child is the same and responds the same, luckily for me, this method was a Godsend! Good luck!

I, too, am a married 32 y/o with a 13 month old baby girl.... she has the same problems about not wanting to go to sleep... according to my pediatrician, this is a very normal phase..... al babies between 10 months and 2 years go through this at least from time to time-not sleeping through the night or not going to bed- he actually suggested that if we establish a routine (like bath, story, snack, bed) that it doesn't matter if she goes to sleep on her own or not.... sometimes we rock her, sometimes we lay down with her until she falls asleep, others we sit with her until she is ready to go to sleep on her own.... before you try the "ferber method", make sure it is not something else going on....

have you cut out an evening bottle or are you cutting out bottles in general? changes in routine can make her not want to sleep...is she hungry? she may want a small snack and some milk before bed if it has been over an hour or two since dinner.....are you gone during the day and she is not near you? she may just be lonely for you and miss you and need some extra love.... is she cutting teeth? that can be very painful and she may just need a little motrin to help ease the pain that she feels when she lies against her face.... also even ferber-fanatics do not suggest using that method with a teething child... they need comfort not more distress....have you been co-sleeping and are trying to put her in a crib now? even a couple nights of co-sleeping can throw off a baby's routine if they are expected to sleep in a crib the rest of the time, and it is hard to give up the cozy, comfort of cuddling with mommy all night...

remember, this is your child and your decision... personally i could not use the ferber method if someone paid me a million dollars.... if you choose to that is up to you.... whatever love and comfort you give to your child now will pay off...it may take more time to get her to sleep and it may be hard on you for a while, but studies show that in the longrun, babies will at some point sleep on their own and do fine.... you may just have to wait for that day to come later...hope it helps

My husband was like that as a baby he grew out of it. how's her night time routine? maybe try , bath , story, rocking. does she have a night light in her room ? I believe that was about the time that mine needed a night light. take her to the Dr and have her checked out , make sure she dosnt have an ear infection laying down with one can make it hurt worse. Also she might be teething. Letting her just cry can be dangerous it raises blood presure yours and her the result being everyone being stressed out even more than you were before.

heres a link to a site with some tips for calming a crying baby.
http://www.geocities.com/heartland/8148/calm.html

also the book " The no cry sleep solution "
has some good tips and many differant suggestions to getting baby to sleep with out having to resort to CIO or ferber. here's a link to the authors website http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/
as you can see she's writen several and is a mom of 4 ( I think ) so she has personal experiance with what she has in her book.

check it out its a good read.

My 15 month old still does not sleep through the night most nights so I feel your pain. However, I have found if I just let her cry it out, she will go to sleep on her own. She was getting better until she got sick. I had to get up with her when she was sick so then she got spoiled again and is use to me picking her up at night so I have to go through the whole routine again. I know it's hard to let them cry it out but as long as their not sick, then I don't feel as bad. They have to learn to go to sleep on their own or you will never get any rest!

Unless you are willing to drive her around for the next few years, you will have to endure some crying. This is how they learn....you teach them! Yes, she will cry, but it won't be forever and you will be both be happier for it. Here are some suggestions. "Ferber" method is to go in after 5, then 10, then 15, etc. minutes of crying. Watch a digital clock. It will feel like 4 hours of crying, but it's not and she is okay. when you go in, don't speak to her and don't pick her up. rub her back, lay her down, etc. Try making the room very dark, playing soft music, running a loud fan, something that will help numb her to sleep (you'll have to wean her off these later). Because she's older, this wil take more time than a very young child (I have 4), but it's necessary. Do you want Grandma and the babysitter to have to drive her around to get her to sleep? My guess is 4-6 nights of this and she'll be done fighting you, give up, and go to sleep right away. good luck!!

Have you ever tried co-sleeping? This worked very well for my children. I let them sleep with me when they feel like they need to, especially as babies. I assure you, that at 4 and 8, they fall asleep in their own beds and go to bed just fine. They need to feel safe and comforted-your daughter might be scared and alone and just need her mama....try it....