Sleeping Issues with My One Year Old

first of all, there are MANY negative aspects to the cry it out method. there are actually 2 ways of thinking on it as well. the ferber tech where you keep going back in on specific times to reassure the child gradually increasing. then there is the 2nd approach which i see as people just letting their baby cry and cry while saying how dr ferber says its ok. although i agree with neither, i def see how people have twisted a dr's recommendations.

anyway, the cry it out idea is to have a child learn to self soothe. from your post, it seems that your child already knew how to soothe herself so she doesnt need to be "taught". to let her cry seems quite cruel. since she used to sleep ok, she is obviously tramatized by the current situation. children are very attached to their homes, and 18 month olds have a lot of separation anxiety. she is too young to comprehend this move, and doesnt know where her house is. she is probaly hearing, seeing, smelling all new things and is scared.

i cant understand how in your case you wouldnt cosleep to comfort her. you both would sleep better and you would be reinforcing her trust showing you will be there and not disappear like your old home. im not going to lie, i will disagree with anyone who says crying it out is a good thing, but in your case especially, i think its quite selfish and cruel. you need to put yourself in her shoes at just 18 months old. she is still a baby and is confused. im sure there will be issues in your new home as well, but thats just something we have to be patient with since we are the ones to put our children in these situations.

we moved into a horrible, little summer rental for 6 weeks as we needed somewhere to stay while our home was being built. for my husband and i, it was an awful experience. it was in a vacation area where young people had party houses and on the main strip where people were constantly walking by loudly. there was nowhere really for my 2 yr old daughter to play and all her stuff was in storage. we all slept together and she did fine. no problems at all. when she woke in the middle of the night from the people, she would just sit up, look at us and go back to sleep. no problems. if ever a child should have been upset about her living conditions changing, it should have been then, but she knew as long as mommy and daddy were there, everything was alright.

good luck

We too have 3 year old and 18 months old(both boys:)) and stayed for 2 months with my inlaws while waiting for our house.Even though my kids love their grandparents and love spending time at their house, staying with them messed up their sleeping and behavior in general. Sorry to say but it did not get to normal till after 3-4 weeks at our house.Why don't you put a mattress on the floor in the kids room and after she wakes up just lay down there, so everyone can sleep(our 18 months old hates cosleeping so it was different for us).Somebody might say you will start a bad habit.......well we always did what we had to do as long as everyone got a good sleep:)

M., it's so hard to do the "cry it out" when they share a room.

Can you move the 3 y/o to a sofa of another bed for a week or so? That way you can "Ferber-ize" the younger one.

The Ferber Technique is NOT crying it out. It's a system that worked very well for me. You gradually wean the baby from your presence at bed time. The first few nights are very hard, with you going in at minute by minute intervals, and not speaking to, or holding your baby. The intervals get longer and longer but never longer than (I think) 20 minutes. eventually your baby will go to sleep. It was hell on me the first two nights.

BUT within a week, it worked for me. By the end of the week I'd hear a whimper, and then she'd be asleep...

I have no other good advice to offer. It's the only thing that worked for me.

Hey! I know your situation can be very tough, my son is now 15 months old and practically 1 month ago he was able to sleep through a night for the first time since he was born. I did the cry it out technique and it really work. My son the first night cried histerically for about an 1 and a half, the second night like an hour and from the third night onward, he has been sleeping good. I was the kind of mom that if my son winced, I was right there with him, but it was really wearing me down, so I learned to be very tough and patient. Also it is good that you stop the bottles at night, I did that in the past and my son was getting up becuase he knew that a bottle was waiting for him. I know that is tough in your situation becuase you have another boy and your not in your house, but try to hang on....it will get better, I know so

Personally, I don't like the cry-it-out method as it doesn't take into account the reasons why a baby's sleep habits or levels of separation anxiety change. It also advises one course of action regardless of the baby's individual temperament and needs. Your child is reacting to a very new and scary situation and probably needs extra reassurance and loving. (It's difficult for anyone to be between homes - for a child who cannot understand and cannot express herself it must be even worse.) I would advise listening to your instinct and being flexible until you are really settled into your new home. We are going to be moving in 2 weeks with our 15 month old. My only "plan" is to go with the flow!

In response to amy's answer, a child is not attached to a certain house, only home and home is where mommy and daddy are. I asked a world known therapist that we see about moving our children again until we move into our house and he said kids are attached to there parents and home will be wherever they are.

If you don't want to try either co-sleeping or ferberizing could you rearrange the sleeping situation? Maybe she would sleep better in a crib in your room. My son is still in a crib in our room (we are planning to transition him into a bed in his own room soon). It has it's down side but the plus is that I can just say "It's okay, go back to sleep" and not even get up most of the time. Good luck whatever you choose. At least you will be back in your own house in a few months.

I dont like the ferber technique. I think it isnt very sensitive or gentle to the baby that may need that extra bit from Mom. Try the No Cry Sleep Solution. Its gentle and loving to the baby, and still yields results. Good luck!