Sleep Help Tips/methods Cry Vs. Sooth

Have you tried co-sleeping with him? We stopped even trying to use the crib around 10 months and we all sleep well all night. It's something to think about if you're desperate. I was too, as a full-time working mom. I needed sleep so badly! Now he's 18 months and we're happy as can be all snuggled up together. Good luck!

I recommend a liquid calcium/magnesium supplement for the babies and it helps so much, the parents are amazed. I love either Bluebonnett or Lifetime - either one, but blueberry flavored. Keep it refirgerated and shake well before using. Just 1-2 teaspoons a night for the first week seems to get their nervous system relaxed and let them sleep longer and better. My kids have all slept through the night as long as I took my calcium, sicne I was BFing. then, I started to supplement them and they still sleep through the nights. I can tell the nights I forget to take it when I'm BFing, because the next night is a nightmere.

sorry to hear u feel that way about CIO..b/c it only took my son one night of crying at 9 months 28 minutes..then he went to sleep..the next night it was 5 minutes..and we were done..now he and i both get a lot of sleep..
I feel that it was hard to do but in the end we both get sleep now..
it was so quick and easy for us b/c we did it at 9 months i think..
and i now wish i had done is sooner!
good luck with how u decide to sleep train

You are absolutely entitled to your opinion regarding cry-it-out. Lots of people feel that way. However, I will just share my positive experience with cry-it-out because I'm sure any information helps!

My daughter (who is now 18 months) was always a GREAT sleeper as a baby. But at about eight months, she started getting up once a night, then twice, then three, four, and so on. My husband and I were getting zero sleep and were starting to go crazy. My opinion is that my daughter knew I would get up so just kept getting me up. So my husband and I decided to implement the cry-it-out method. We did the Ferber method, where you check on them every five minutes, as if to say, "I'm here for you and I love you and I care, but I'm not picking you up!" It had an immediete result. She immedeitely seemed to realize that crying in her crib wasn't going to work, so she stopped doing it. Within days. Now she usually only gets up in the night if she needs something. The cry-it-out method may not work for everyone, but I highly reccomend it because it worked quite well for us. Incidentally, my daughter is very happy, confident, and not clingy at all. I have seen no negative affects on her behavior.

Good luck!! It's so hard to know what to do!!

K.,
We've used attachment parenting with great success in our family (Dr. Sears method; he has many books out there). This meant a family bed for us; I also had a night-time power-nurser on my hands, so this is the ONLY thing that would work for us. Our daughter, now 4, is happily in her own bed now and all is good. Personally, we could never to the "cry it out method." I know it's worked for people, but I really question not answering a child's cries, especially when they cannot communicate effectively yet. When we could communicate effectively with our daughter and she could understand, we discussed moving her into her own big girl bed and began the process. It all went very smoothly for us. I will also say we have a very bright, independent, well-mannered, loving child that we have a tremendous bond with now. I truly believe attachment parenting set the stage for our family's closeness. Best of luck to you, whatever route you choose.

Wow! I'm shocked to learn that parents find it damaging to their child to get them to learn to comfort themselves and enjoy going to bed! My son is 14 months old and he goes to bed every night, happily, in his own bed, by himself. He is just like us, happy to go to his room and into bed when he is tired and has had enough of the world! I let him cry it out and each night got a little better until he was learned that he has the tools to comfort himself. It took ONE WEEK. Each night got better than the one before. On the 8th night, not a peep. He now wants to go to bed for naps and sleeps all through the night. I don't see how it can be damaging for his self-esteem when he is clearly self-reliant and able to comfort himself and sooth himself to sleep (the first week). He now is like most of us...cherishes his bedtime and happy hops into the crib when he is tired.
My son has been sleeping on his own since his first birthday and he seems to be just fine psychologically...as am I, because I can be a better, more patient mother when I've had my sleep.
I'm not a sadist...I just wanted my son to develop SELF-esteem and learn that he could be his own best comfort.

Hi K.! I totally sympathize with you! My 19 month old just started sleeping through the night when she was 14 months old. I was an exhausted, grouchy, breast feeding zombie. I was constantly tired and really not enjoying life. I breast feed her, wore her in a sling as a baby, would almost run in every time she cried to immediately tend to her every need and tried co-sleeping out a desperation. I was opposed to cry it out, as it seemed very cruel and I knew how tough it would be for me. My daughter would not co-sleep, well she would move around waking us all up which just made things worse. I read the No Cry Sleep Solution, which offered some helpful tips. The obvious ones are: putting them on a bedtime routine, which we already were doing, but we fine tuned our routine; Making sure they are filled up with food, water and breastmilk during the day. Unfortunately that and all of the other tips in the book did not work for my daughter after being patient for 3 1/2 months of applying all info.

Out of complete desperation, I told my husband we would try the Ferber Method for only 1 week. This is where you let the baby cry, go in after 5, then 10, then 15 minutes, until they fall asleep. I would not even attempt to do this until you have the post nasal drip and allergies taken care of. You will also know if they are in the middle of a tooth coming in, also not the time to begin this process. Anyway, here is what happened, when we tried this with a VERY attached, high demand, breast fed baby:

Night 1- cried for 45 minutes at bedtime, woke 4 times, cried 15-25 minutes each
Night 2- cried for 4 minutes at bedtime, woke 2 times cried for 2-10 minutes
Night 3- cried for 20 seconds at bedtime, woke 2 times, cried for less than a minute
Night 4- wimpered as I set her down at bedtime, woke once and cried for less than a minute
Night 5 & beyond- began saying "Night! Night!," as she held her stuffed monkey & may occasionally have a night waking for a few seconds.

I was so opposed to this method! I cannot deny the results though and how fabulous it worked for our child. Some kids take longer, some not as long. What really helped was having my husband do most of the settling, something we learned after the first night. I even put a sippy cup of water in her crib and showed her where it was. I fill it up each day, sometimes she uses it, sometimes not. Anyway, the first night was HORRIBLE for me. And I don't recommend doing this with a younger child either. We do not have her cry it out at her naps yet, as she was crying for too long and I wasn't comfortable with that. I wasn't seeing the results like I did at nighttime. I did notice that she is less apt to have a crying meltdown during the day though. I think she realized that crying over everything doesn't work.

You adjust to what works for you. Consistency is the key though, so once you decide what method you're going to try, stick to it for awhile. You & your husband must be comfortable with whatever method you choose! Best of luck to you! I hope that you can find a solution that works for you and your family, whatever it is (crying or soothing)!

I know how you feel. There is a breaking point and we all are susceptible to falling apart. It's tough raising a child who does not sleep well.

Unfortunately, you will now need to let him CIO. I know it sounds awful and it is hard to imagine, but it works, and has no negative effect on the child, and is actually necessary and positive.

I would say, if nothing else, read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happpy Child" by Dr Weissbluth. Just give it a shot. At least it will explain to you sleep patterns and how much and when children should sleep. Unfortunately, this is NOT something they just grow out of. They need to be taught it, just like everything else. And if you still disagree with the advice given, fine. But don't rule it out because of the idea that you think there will be negative impacts. I promise you will change your mind and will have no problem with it.

Best wishes.

You are right to be concerned about leaving him alone to "cry it out." Aside from the psychological aspect of it (feelings of abandonment, etc), crying for long periods of time can cause blood oxygen levels to lower to dangerous levels and can raise heart-rate and blood pressure. Additionally, it releases a tremendous amount of stress hormones that can wreak havok on a little body. Babies cry because they have needs. Just because a baby who has been left to cry has stopped crying doesn't mean that need has gone away. It simply means that the baby has given up on having that need met.

Sleeping through the night is absolutely a developmental thing just like walking, talking, and potty training. Every child reaches that milestone at a different time. Here's some more info:
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html
There are some great links on the bottom of the article about so-called "controlled crying." I would encourage you to read those as well.

For some good reading, try The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Another good one is The Sleep Book by William Sears.

Have you tried co-sleeping? With DD, we don't co-sleep all night, but we do lay down together and nurse in her bed (twin mattress on the floor) until she goes to sleep. When she wakes, I just go in right away, nurse her back down and that's all there is to it. Every baby is different. Sometimes you just have to find the routine that works for you.

K.,

I understand your position on crying it out, but I would ask that you take a minute to consider a few things:

-to be a good sleeper a child needs to be able to soothe themselves back to sleep/ and to sleep if you are always filling this role for your child then he will not learn how to do this
-crying it out isn't about the crying... it is about allowing a child the time to discover how they soothe themselves- each child does it differently
-the "crying it out" only lasts until they get out of the habit of expecting you to soothe them and realize the tools they have for soothing themselves- usually a few days.
-the crying results as your child complains about the change- don't we all complain about change :)

I highly recommend allowing this to happen. When all is said and done you will have a well-adapted sleeper who is ready and willing to soothe himself- and it is very sweet to see this happen!

C., mother of 3, sleep consultant, sleep blog writer www.lullabyluna.com

I also recommend Pantley's book; it was a godsend.

Good for you for not giving into the cry-it-out crowd; go with your instincts.

If you're breastfeeding, you might consider bringing your son into bed with you so that you can sleep while he eats. It's what we did with my sons (DS1 for 17 months, DS2 until he was 3!), and it worked beautifully. I had a bed rail to make sure they didn't fall out, and kept him between me and the bed rail.

Pantly gives a lot of good tips for all family types: bottle fed, breast fed, crib sleepers and family bed kids. I recommend it highly.

hey K.. i skimmed through some of the responses you've gotten and there's lots of good advice you've gotten, and it will probably take time to find the right thing that works and feels right for you. i'd like to offer something a little different. my son has had sporadic sleep since the day he was born. he is now 3 and is autistic. now i'm NOT saying your child is autistic. but i'd like to tell you what worked for my son and may work for you. we discovered through his therapy that my son has vestibular and sensory issues that make it difficult for him to sleep on his back and staying asleep with the various sensory issues that come along with autism. we discovered that a lot of children benefit from weighted blankets and "lap snakes." they are filled with dried beans or rice, the weight depends on your child's body weight. the pressure is soothing and calming and has worked wonders for my son. it's also been known to work with ADD and ADHD kids as well. i tried it and it is very comforting. if you think this is something you'd like to try message me back. they are sold online but are ridiculously expensive ($35 to $85). i made my son's lap snake and he loves it. he keeps one at school to help him sit still in circle time and one at home to sleep with. if you'd like i can tell you how to make one for about $3. i know all too well how difficult this process is and i'm positive you'll find something that will work. let me know if you'd like to try one of these options and good luck to you.

K.

K.,

My oldest child woke every 2 hours like clock work until he was around 2 years old. I work full time (days) and my husband was working nights so it was all me, all the time. I feel your pain. I was nursing and I found this helpful:
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp
but really nothing improved until I weaned him. He didn't understand any "partial" weaning and it just got to be too much for me. Now I know he has autism and sensory integration disorder and that was the cause but at the time all I knew was that I was exhausted.

My youngest child is 2.5 and still gets up once or twice a night. He's developmentally "typical" or normal. I guess I just produce non-sleeping children LOL.

I'm also not a fan of cry it out and that type of thing. I will say that my kids have slept more and better as they've gotten older. I've done a fair amount of cosleeping over the years with both of them because both of them slept better and longer that way.

My youngest child has food allergies. He's allergic to dairy and soy. I will tell you that when his diet is clean, he sleeps much better. If he gets any dairy or soy he'll be up repeatedly at night. He also has eczema. When his eczema is well under control he sleeps better. When he's itchy, he sleeps worse.

I've heard great things about this: http://www.naet.com/ it is really popular among the autism community (food allergies are really common in kids with autism) and folks who have done it swear by it. It seems a little "witch doctory" to me but I may try it anyway. It looks like the worst case scenario is that it won't help but it won't hurt anything either.

I'm also getting ready to take my youngest to a D.O. (doctor of osteopathic medicine) to have a complete physical to see if there is anything going on with him that we don't know about and see if we can help him with his allergies that way. More traditional medicine has done nothing. He doesn't even show up allergic to dairy or soy on the traditional tests.

Do keep in mind that this is just a stage. It may be a very frustrating, exhausting stage, but it is just a stage and it will pass. But if your baby is up a lot at night he is most likely very uncomfortable and if you can figure out why and solve it, the situation will likely improve.

Have you had him evaluated for reflux? My younger child had bad reflux (silent - all the reflux, none of the spitting up)as an infant. It resolved itself fairly quickly after I removed dairy and soy from my diet (within a month he was better but it took a couple of months for his GI tract to heal completely and for us to be able to take him off all the medication) and I know that doesn't make for sound sleep.

Good luck,
T.

I just wanted to share my very positive method on cry it out too. Like Hillary below, we did everything exactly like her. It took us one night. For your health and sanity, you need to do something immediately. Crying it out was a miracle for us. By the way, my kids are 10 and 14, very well adjusted, not clingy, etc. etc. and were always great throughout childhood, so the cry it out did nothing to them, except get us all a very good night's sleep! Back then, a bunch of people in my playgroup used this method, and we all have happy well adjusted kids now. It takes a strong person to do this, but there are going to be much bigger challenges to face when they are older! Good luck!

Hi K.,
Sleep deprivation is tough- I think it's one of the hardest things about being a new parent... I don't like the CIO solution - it feels cruel, and looking back through history, thats not the way that we have settled our babies for thousands of years. We borrowed (then bought!) Elisabeth Pantley's "The No Cry Sleep Solution" book, which is working for us. The method takes a little time, but it made more sense to me than CIO. With the assistance of the book, our 9mo has gone from waking every 2-3 hours to waking only once a night.
Good luck - it will get better!

Hi K.,

You'll get a lot of answers on this subject. Some will make you feel guilty about trying to sleep train your baby, and some will tell you it's healthier that the baby learns to sleep on his own. First get your doctor’s opinion for his breathing issue.
I read and tried different approaches. What worked for me was a CIO method. I had to train my son when he was 6 months old because I couldn't function w/o sleep anymore. He is 16 months old now and I did no damage for letting him cry it out a couple of nights. I used Ferber's book and before you say you're against it, please read it. He's a sleep doctor and his book is based on actual studies. A lot of people invented their own CIO method (w/o even reading the book) that most of the time just makes everyone’s life miserable. Go to the source and inform yourself and then you can make a decision. I also have an ebook that I could share with you. This goes into more step by step instructions, it’s not as scientific, but it’s on the same principle. Give me your email address and I can send it to you. I shared it with other moms here and I got back a lot of good news. Don't be intimidated by what other people think. You can only "damage" your child by ignoring all his requests, by not caring at all... but just because he's going to cry (while you are still responding to him) and otherwise he's healthy and fed, there's no reason to worry about damaging. My son and my husband and I are all so much more loving to each other after a good night sleep.
You know what's best for your child. Ask yourself, would you let your child play with a knife just because he's going to cry if you're taking it away?
The older he gets, the harder it is to sleep train.

PS: Even Elizabeth Pantley in her book “The no cry out sleep solution” says at the end of one chapter something along the lines: if you are at your wits end and can’t be a good mother due to lack of sleep, then try the CIO approach.

Good luck!

PS 2: My baby sleeps thru the night on his own since 6 months old after I sleep trained him. There's nothing more NATURAL than a good night sleep.

I don't know where you heard that it can take up to 24 mo before they sleep through the night. my kids slept through the night at 4, 6 and 7 weeks of age (not every night but for the most part)however i have friends whose children did not sleep through the night till 5 and 6. there is no guarantee that your son will start to magically sleep through the night at 2. I would read on becoming baby wise it is not completely cio but it does work with the principals to a degree. good luck

The Baby Whisperer book has the best advice I have seen so far for sleep problems. Especially if you are not comfortable with the cry it out method. It sounds like your little guy might need to learn how to sooth himself back to sleep. He may be waking at the end of every sleep cycle and can't put himself back to sleep. Best of luck to you, I know it's really hard.

check out The Sleep Lady - she has a book offered on her web site called Good NIght Sleep Tight. It is a good alternative to crying it out and it worked for my first son (who is now 5).

Hello K.,

"The Aware Baby" by Aletha Solter is a must read.

She writes about a way of being with your child that can either exacerbate their stress levels, or mitigate them.

Are you bringing your baby to bed with you?

Do you allow your baby to cry (in your arms) before falling to sleep, to relieve the streeses of the day? (Crying has an important stress-relieveing function. Many moms nurse their child to sleep, or nurse them to sooth them; this creates apent-up stress which makes restless sleeping patterns.)

Read about it in The Aware Baby. An amazing book that is in-line with NOT crying it out, attachment parenting, and the concerns you expressed in your question.

Best of luck,
Lots of Love,
Linda

www.RivieraPlaySchool.com
Are you nursing? Do you nurse "on demand"? Are you nursing as a means to soothe your baby (is you baby needing and needing to nurse

Check out "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley and "Good Night, Sleep Tight "by Kim West. If you can't afford them, get them at your local library.

Try reading a book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It is a fantastic book that has saved us. (I am a mom of 7 month old twins). He talks about different methods (and helps you choose the right one for the temperment of your child). In addition, He talks about the long term affects of not getting enough consolidated night sleep for the child.
We went from waking 10 times a night to waking 1 time a night for a bottle (1/2 the week they don't wake up for that). They sleep from 6:30pm to about 5:45-6:30 am.

Good Luck!

Hi K.. I am sorry to hear about your current situation. We have a 10 month old son and he sleeps from 7pm to 7am as of 6 months of age ! But this was not without a little work and unfortunately a little "crying it out". My son, Jordan, after about 4 months had settled into a routine of waking ever 4-5 hours (before this it was every three hours). We had noticed that he would cry until we came into the room to check on him and then he would stop crying. Based on this we agreed that there was nothing wrong with him and that he was learning basic cause and effect and realized that if he cries mommy and daddy come into the room. We would feed him when he woke up as well and it was not until he was fed that he would return to sleep. At our 6 month visit our pediatrician explained to us that it was time to "sleep train" Jordan. I was a little hesitant at first because of my son's weight. He was and is only in the 11th percentile for weight and I worried that allowing him to sleep for 12 hours would further deprive him of much needed caloric intake. My pediatrician told me that she was not concerned and that he would start to eat more during the waking hours to make us for the fast at night. So, we went home and started the sleep training. Which goes something like this...the method is the basic "Ferber method" which has many variations, but they are all very similar. You can research this method by searching the internet. You will find a plethora of information and instructions for instituting this method. First it is important to establish a nighttime routine. It can be whatever you like it to be but it must be relatively consistent. For Jordan we feed him around 5 pm, bath at 6 pm followed by a bottle around 6:30, plus or minus a book and then into the crib. Keep the room where he sleeps quiet and not too bright. Limit excessive activity. Secondly it was important for us to eliminate associations to sleep. By this I mean do not allow your son to be rocked to sleep, fall asleep at bottle/breast, etc. It is stressed in the Ferber method to place your child in his crib awake. This will allow your child to learn how to soothe himself to sleep. Put him in his bed and tell him good night, that you love him, and that you will see him in the morning and leave the room. Note the time that you put him to bed and allow him to cry for 5 minutes. If after 5 minutes he is still crying go into his room close enough for him to see you but not close enough for him to touch you. In a calm voice tell him that it is time for bed and you love him and will see him in the am and leave the room. Wait another 5 minutes, if still crying go in and repeat. After leaving the room the second time wait 15 minutes and do the same using 15 minute intervals until he falls asleep. The first night it may last for 45-60 minutes, but each night becomes shorter and after 3 or 4 days he will be going to sleep without protest. Treat each awakening throughout the night the same way. If he cries go in after 5 minutes, 5 minutes, and then 15 minute intervals. With Jordan we would not go in at all if he awoken in the middle of the night. For the first night he woke up every four hours and cried for 10-15 minutes each time. Each night the period of time was less and after 3 or so nights he slept through the night. If you feed him at night, the best way to wean off the feedings is take whatever amount of formula or minutes breastfeeding and decrease it by 1 oz of formula or a fraction of time breastfeeding each night until no feeding at all. For example, Jordan was taking 6 oz at his 11pm awakening. The first night we were sleep training him we gave him 6 oz and decreased it by 1 oz each night until he was not being fed at all. You can also use a total "let-cry" technique where you still wean off the feedings the way I just explained but when he wakes up other times throughout the night you do not go in to his room and just let him cry it out until he soothes himself back to sleep. Which also works...I have had a number of friends use this and there kids are perfectly normal, secure, well-behaved children. Have faith that this method works for many families and that consistency is key. It is important for you and your son to get healthy amounts of sleep and training him to sleep well will only benefit him and make him more alert and ready to take on his surroundings during waking hours and learn and develop appropriately. You had mentioned that he has a runny nose. I would bring this to your pediatrician's attention to ensure that this is not something that requires further workup and therefore would not impede in your sleep training. Good luck !!! Please let me know if you have any questions or comments.

Since he "seems" to have a post-nasal drip... you would definitely want to have him examined and checked with your Doctor... if it is a sinus problem... bear in mind that these problems even keeps ADULTS up at night and unable to sleep. I know, my Husband has sinus problems and drips. It is very uncomfortable... AND if it is a sinus problem... there is often times sinus pressure/headaches/pain accompanying it. SO.... best to have your baby checked.

Also, I know you said your baby has been a waker-upper "still." Well, yes, most babies/children don't sleep through the night until about 18-24 months of age... this is a NATURAL progression and developmental "ability." BUT, if you "train" a baby to sleep... then that is another thing... it is outside manipulations to get a baby to sleep... not a natural rhythm.

But, you and Hubby are getting ill due to lack of sleep... I would (1) take him to the Doctor to rule out any health/allergy issues (2) ask your Pediatrician what you can do... because it is affecting your/Hubby's health.

I know it's not easy... both of my kids started sleeping through the night at about 2 years old. This is a "natural" progression and "ability" that is developmental based... in conjunction with the REM patterns of babies and children, which are still developing as well. A baby/child does NOT have "adult like" REM sleep patterns or ability...

I co-slept with my kids, and I was nursing too. And now, my kids sleep through the night.

Ask your Pediatrician...
all the best,
Susan

Hi K.,
If your son has post nasal drip the best solution is to get a cool air humidifier in the room and keep the room cool. You can also use some saline nose spray - which he'll hate but it will help. Also put something under the matress to keep his head raised up a little when he sleeps so the drip doesn't make him cough. Maybe this will help him sleep through the night.

Is he teething or learning to walk? Sometimes these things keep babies up at night too.

My solution to the crying baby was to put him in bed with me. I tried the crying out method once but I felt way too guilty and wound up crying myself. My son is almost 7 years old and he still sleeps with us almost every night. I figure he'll sleep in his room eventually.

Good luck!

K. S

You sound very experienced with sleep deprivation. You could sooth him in case he is having nightmares by rubbing his back, he could also be having gas that he cannot pass. I used to put on a Disney movie that my grand-daughter liked to help her with her sleeping, she would fall asleep when she felt comfortable enough to relax. My grand-daughter liked "Lion King" and she watched it almost every night, she soon slept very peaceful all the time she was with me. Of course, she wore out the take of "Lion King" but it was worth it for her to calm down and relax after a fully active day, or I found that calming nature sounds would also help her to relax. I hope this helps.

I am also not a fan of CIO. My daughter would cry so hard that she would stop breathing, and at times would vomit because she cried so hard. That did not seem like a good thing to me, so I tried a lot of different things to get her to sleep. I read the Baby Whisperer, but the tips in there didn't really work for us, and it seemed more natural to have my daughter fall asleep when nursing. I night-nursed her until she was 18 months. My daughter was waking up to nurse only- she would want to be held, nurse for maybe 5 minutes and then she'd go back to sleep. In the beginning she was up every 2-3 hours, then as she got older, it became longer and longer. When we decide to night-wean her what worked best for us was this: I would nurse her to sleep, then if she woke up less than 3 hours later, my husband would go in, soothe her and when she stopped crying, he would leave. (usually took 5 min or less) then each night we extended it by an hour. I'd put her down, if she woke up less than 4 hours later, my husband would go in, if it had been 4 hours or more, I would go in and nurse. We started this around 18 months, and it only took a few nights. But it sounds to me like your little guy is waking up for a different reason. Have you tried raising the head of his crib a bit? That might help with the nasal drainage- it seemed to help my daughter. Also you could try co-sleeping. There are a lot of products out there that can help with that. I've seen things that go in the bed that have walls, but I've heard really good things about the side-car type contraptions. That way he is close to you, but not in your actual bed. Before I had a child, I didn't think I would agree at all with attachment parenting, but once Jordan was born, a lot of their practices just made sense. I'm not totally an attachment parent, but I have adapted some of their practices to fit with our family. Also- if you feel like you should or shouldn't be doing something in regards to your son go with your gut! :) You're the best mommy your son could ever have, and you know him better than anyone. Hang in there- it is difficult, but it does not last forever. My daughter is now almost 3, and sleeps from 8:00pm-7am in her room, yet co-slept with us off and on in the beginning, and was up every 2-3 hours for about the first year.

I totally feel for you, I can't function on no or small amounts of sleep. My son used to wake up at least every couple of hours when we were cosleeping (we stopped when he was 7 months old, he is now 9 months). He still wakes up at least one time a night, sometimes 2 or 3, but I always get up and nurse him, and then he goes right back to sleep (unless something is wrong-teething, gas, etc).

Anyway, I don't believe in crying it out either, and when we got him to sleep in his crib, it was because he was ready and didn't really put up a fight (I tried every week or so to get him to sleep in there without him screaming his head off, and then he finally did it). If you are cosleeping, you might want to try moving him to a crib (in another room, also key for us, since he won't sleep when we are in there), at least get him used to it so that at some point he will want to sleep alone, since that could be your problem.

It is unusual for a 12 month old to wake up that often, and it could have something to do with the post nasal drip. Have you tried putting something under his mattress to see if you can lift him up a little? My son normally wakes up more when something is wrong, or it seems when I drink non caffeinated soda (must be the sugar or something). It is not necessarily normal for babies to sleep through the night at that age, some are able to self sooth and put themselves back to sleep so you might not know they woke up, but I know that my son needs to wake up and eat, and probably will for a while. I wasn't able to go through the night when I was pregnant, or until very recently, without eating a snack in the middle of the night because I was starving. A babies stomach is small, I'm sure they get hungry too (not the problem in your case with the 1 to 2 hours of sleep, unless he is hungry and fussy throughout the day). If he is fussy most of the time, it could be that he does need more food (it could also be lack of sleep, etc), or maybe he needs to see a chiropractor. I took my son when he was a couple of months old, not sure if it really helped, but I know other mothers who say it definitely has helped. Good luck.