Sleeping Issues - Minneapolis, MN

Tough love. I would keep bringing her back to bed. Repeat intill she stays in bed. Eventually she knows that Mom and Dad are not gonna give in and this is where she needs to sleep. Don't rush in to every noise she makes either, my Husban does that. I let her wimper or cry for 5 min before I go in and usally she falls back to sleep before I need to even go to her. Its so hard and it rips at my heart cords to listen to them cry, but really its the best for them. It is only a phase, and you'll both get through it :)

We always had a lot of problems with our daughter(now 4 1/2) sleeping too. She wouldn't go to sleep without me laying next to her in her bed.
I talked with her about it telling her how she was getting older and could go to sleep by herself, and we would take little steps to get her used to it.
The first step was me still in the room sitting on the floor next to the bed, "so she could still reach me".
Next, I was across the room by the door. "I was still in the room if she needed me".
Then I was outside the room down the hallway. "If she needed me I would hear her and be there right away".
It was a long process, but it worked. I'm not a believer in "cry it out".
When she called me to her I just reassured her she was ok she has a beautiful room to sleep in, and give a big hug and kiss. We would also think of what she would like to dream of that night in hopes that she would keep thinking about that instead of thinking about being by herself.
Like I said this was a long process, and for me... she still calls me in sometimes after I leave the room before she falls asleep, and she still wakes up sometimes during the night. I just talk to her about what woke her, and re-direct her to her bed, and give another hug and kiss. It usually works unless it's a bad dream then I give in.
I've just excepted that she doesn't sleep well, but it has gotten a little better.
Good luck to you!

It's probably going to be difficult, but you're going to just have to put her in her own room. Put her in bed and everytime she gets out, bring her back in. The first time, tell her that it's time for bed and she needs to sleep in her bed. After that, don't say anything and don't even look at her.

My DD didn't want to stay in her room either. It took quite a few nights of screaming and fits before she would do it. Even now, she'll go to sleep, but she needs her light on. We decided it was a battle we weren't going to fight because she would sleep fine with it on. I've started going in and turning it off after she's sleeping. She used to wake up screaming because her light was off, but she doesn't anymore. (She has nightlights too.) Anyway, one of us would just sit on the floor outside her room so we could put her back to bed right away. It was emotionally trying, but we made it through. Good luck. I know it's not easy.

Hi K.,
You'll have to bite the bullet and put her in her room. Maybe get her a special night light or something to make it special. Tell her how important it is for her to sleep in her own bed. We struggled with this a bit with our daughter. Everytime she gets out put her back in. It will be hard for the first week or so but you'll reap the rewards after! Struggle with it now before your hubby leaves. You'll need all the alone time you can get!!! Good Luck!
p.s. Thank your husband for what he does for us!

K. -

I'm basically echoing the other moms. We co-slept for a long time & our bed just got too crowded (even though it's a king!). Routine is so important, and putting her back in her bed. With Chase we just had to put him back in his room despite kicking, screaming, crying & protesting - nothing was truly wrong, he just preferred sleeping with us. Afterall, it is nice to sleep with a buddy. :)

It took about a week or so of consistency, but it does work. He goes down with very little hassle and stays in his bed all night. At first, if we broke from routine the slightest bit it would set us back. Now that we've been consistent for 6+ months (and it didn't take that long to see results, I promise!), we can break from routine slightly & he goes right back into old habits very easily.

Good luck. It's hard to do, but really worth it.

J.
mom to Chase (3)

We also had a similar issue when our oldest, now 4, was 2 1/2. My husband was working evenings at the time, so bedtime was typically up to me. With my mom's help with the newborn, I sat outside my daughter's bedroom door for 2-3 hours the first night, reassuring her and putting her back to bed everytime she got up. By night 3 she was doing much better and going to bed more willingly. By the end of the week I didn't even need to sit outside the door anymore--we just did the bedtime tuck in and off to sleep she went. I am only wishing now that we had done it earlier! The key was/is consistancy! I put her in control of some things--she decides blankets, window shades open/shut, fan off/on, etc., but when I say bedtime, it's bedtime. Good luck--the sooner you take care of it the better it will be for you! It's hard, but definately worth it.

I'm with most of the other moms. Be consistant! Put her in her bed and take her right back without causing a big scene when she gets out. Don't say anything after the first time you take her back just put her back in bed. My oldest son did this and it took about a week and a half but he stayed in his bed. It will try your patience but it will be well worth it! The first night I sat right next to his bed, the second night I backed up to the middle of the room and sat on the floor, the third night I sat at the doorway (on the inside of it), and the fourth night I sat outside the doorway. That seemed to make the transition slightly easier on him. I too like sticker charts. Let her earn something and start small with only a few stickers and reward her. We have a "goody bag" here. We went to wal-mart and the boys got to pick out what went into the goody bag (out of the dollar or less isle). It works well for us. It's smart to start this while your hubby is still home. That will be another big adjustment for all of you. Good luck! Thanks to your hubby for all our soldiers do!

Have you thought about doing a "star chart or sticker chart" for with her? I had some issues with my son sleeping with me for a long time, trust me it was me not doing anything, but with a new baby on the way I needed him to sleep in his bed all night. One day he was telling me he wanted "x" train, and I just said this is how you can earn it, stay in bed all night. THe first week we did you need 5 stickers to get a treat, then it went to 7, and finally 10. Now I don't need stickers - he stays in bed most nights. If he really needs me, when he is sick or scared, he comes and gets me. I think this worked out the best way for us. We stick to taking him back to his bed if he gets up, but found this to be the best way to motivate him. FYI He just turned four so we started this when he was 3.5 years old.