Sleeping in Own Bed - Lakeside,CA

Well I've been their and done that.......I have a 15,14,4,2
and they all have slept with us.The 2 little 1's are the hardest to give the boot.The 4 year old took some time so I put a toddler bed at the foot and she slept their till I had moved her to her sister's room.Now the 2 year old she is still in the bed and I get no rest due to her wakeing up all through the night crying.So I try to make her sleep else where but she always finds me where ever I'm at.

The first thing you need to do, as difficult as it is going to be is to tell Dad to knock it off. My husband does the same thing. our son wakes up in the middle of the night and if I have him take care of it he brings him to bed, cause it is easier than dealing with the problem. Problem is that this creates yet another problem.....no nothing except bringing our son to bed with us works anymore....GRRRR. So you definetly need ur husbands help with this one. One thing I think you may want to try is to get that co sleeper thing that you attach to the side of the bed so that the baby is right there but not actually IN your bed. Then slowly and gradually move him back to his bed. Also does he have his own room? If not then he is ALWAYS going to wake up when it is time for daddy to get up....we have this problem too. What you can do, which is what we do for now until we get a house, is that the baby goes to be in his crib on his own. Then when daddy goes to work, it's snuggle time for baby and mommy. This may not be ideal for you, but I love waking up next to his smiling face and getting that early morning hug and snuggle from my boy. But the main thing you HAVE to do is GET DAD INVOLVED!!!!

I feel your pain! My son was almost the same thing too. We used to have his crib in our room, well, pretty much the same as he sleeping in our bed. He woke up so many times, almost every 2 hours, and we have to comfort him by patting his back, rubbing his back...Anyway, we moved him to his room when he's 13 months, and boy he screaming at night. So, I have to put a twin mattress next to his crib and sort of staying w/ him for the first couple days. Each time he wakes up I stick my hand thru the crib rail and touch him and said something to let him know i'm still there. Then for about couple days to a week, i do less talking and patting, and then finally stop coming to him or sleep next to him. He still wakes up and cries at night, but just 1 or 2 times. And there're sometimes we get very lucky that he wakes up and cries for just about 15 seconds (usually about 5 minutes to 20 minutes, worst is 30 minutes and that's right after he came out of a cold, which we practically sleep next to him the whole time to monitor him) He's 17 months old now, and still wakes up at night, but i notice that if I stop coming to him and let him cries a bit, he'll wake up less.
Good luck w/ everything!

Hola J.,

I had that problem with my first too and I know what you are going through. Our nursery is in our master bedroom so it was a challenge. What I did was to put my daughter in her crib next to our bed then slowly moved her crib closer to the nursery. Hope this helps.

Hello J.,

When my son who is 3yrs old now, was under a year of age he had a hard time sleeping through the night and since his crib was in our room, it was hard to let him cry it out and learn how to put himself back to sleep. So, my husband and I resorted to sleeping in the living room until he was able to soothe himself back to sleep. I think the most important thing you could do is either move his crib to a private area of his own or move the others that are around him and who's sleep he is disturbing. Good luck and know that there may be other issues with sleep in the future. My son has gone through many phases and is now waking at night and crawling into our bed. As Dr.Sears says, the best sleeping arrangement is the one where everyone gets the best sleep. I allow my son to finish the night in bed with us, because it insures that we all get a good nights rest and that is so important. Otherwise, I might have to go back and forth all night for every time he wakes up and I need to put him back to bed. You need to find what works best for your family and do that. Best of Luck!

D....

I have the same problem, my son is 6 1/2 months...he won't sleep unless he is in our bed!!...I always wake up with a sore neck! He also wakes up between 2:00am to 3:15 am and doesn't want to go back bed till about 5:15am, but fights it. By that time I need to get up and get ready for work and get my 11 year old ready to go to school. I recently quit my full time job and now I am working part-time, even though we really can't afford that, but full-time is just too much I need more sleep!! I am sorry I can't give you advice, I just wanted you to know your not alone!! I can use some advice also, good luck, let me know what works.

I would say try putting a pack n play in your room, and letting baby sleep in that for a few weeks. That way he is not in your bed, but he is still close to you. Also then you can let him cry it out with out disturbing your other son so much.

But truthfully until we get Daddy on board this isn't gonna work very well either.

Good luck ,
H.

I also have the same problem with my 4yr old daughter AND two year old son. My husband used to go sleep out on the couch and I would sleep in the bed with the kids which was ridiculous. So I decided to make a little bed on the floor next to my bed. Then if one of them crawls into our bed in the middle of the night, I just wait until they fall alseep and plop them back on the floor. Then at least I dont have to get ALL the way up and move them back to their room. I figure at some point I will redecorate their room special so they will want to be in their special room. In the meantime I get pretty good sleep and me and my hubby both get to sleep in our comfy bed alone. I feel that they wont do this forever, but for now it works for me.

Dont think of this as a negative, there is a lot of bonding going on while the child sleeps in your bed. My husband is Chinese and their culture is very accostumed to the children sleeping with their parents until a certain age, however I was not. Our solution is we moved his bed into ours and adjusted it to the same height as ours. He loves and we all get a great nights sleep.

J., first make sure your husband is on the same page...no baby in the bed. Try starting out in his bed, about 30-60 mins before your oldest sone goes to bed or before babies bedtime. He will cry...who wouldn't, but you need to let him cry and sooth himself. If he stands up in his crib lay him down and tell him good night, kiss and leave the room. This will take some time (2-7 days)and a lot of patients!! It will be come a routine. I had to do this with my, at the time, 18 mo old. But the important thing is that the parents have the same goal...no kids in the bed.
Good luck!
p.s. if you don't work weekends, start on a Friday night so your oldest child sleep isn't bothered.

that best thing i can think of is music. When he crys sneek in there and try not to let him see you and put on some calming music. We have been playing music for my daughter since she was 4 months old and it helped out a lot. She sleeps great and she nows when the music play its bed time

Hi,
This is more an issue of getting daddy to help out than it is in getting your baby to sleep in his own bed. It may be helpful during maybe vacation time to get the baby used to sleeping in his bed so that daddy won't have a hard time putting him down when you go back to work. I suggest something relaxing like patting and holding him for 10 minutes and then laying him down and leaving the room. I went thru a similar situation in that my husband would tell me to give our baby a cup (sippy/straw type) every time she rolled over and whined in bed. the longer it went on the more often and louder she cried for the cup. i was getting up every 2 hours for the first year. he went on vacation, she went cold turkey, and cried for 1 hour the first night. after that she slept the entire night for good. now i lay her down after 1 minute of patting and walk out. she doesn't complain.

Dear J.,

The only suggestion I have is for you and your husband to sit down and talk seriously about how to solve this problem. The best would be for your husband to put the baby to bed in his own bed, screaming as long as he, the baby, can do it. It will only last for a few nights. If that can't happen for one reason or the other, then the baby will just have to scream during the later part of the night while you and your six year old son bear it. You will be surprised at how well the 6th year old can take it. He just needs a little bit of encouragement and education about how important it is for him to let his brother cry it out. Crying it out is the only way, so that is all I can tell you. Just do it. It won't last forever, just seem like it is lasting forever. Good Luck, C. N. Been there, done that.

I'm a fan of co-sleeping, meaning sharing the family bed, kids with parents. i can't imagine dealing with 2 kids, how to take care of one without having that care interfere with the other one! good luck!