Sleeping at Night

We have a full bedtime routine but I still rock my 16 month old to sleep every night. I don't care that it is causing bad habits...I just look at it as cuddle time - it is a win/win for both!! Don't stress over it. I find it is easier and less time consuming to do it this way than to let him cry and keeping going back and forth. Enjoy the time with her while she is young and cuddly!

Well, they need some sort of wind down. I have always read books to my son, turned off the light, and rock him. When he was little, I had to rock him sometimes for 20+ minutes! But now that he is 2, I rock him for 5 minutes just to get him to stop talking and babbling frantically and get in a relaxed state. This has always worked wonderfully for us! He gets a sippy cup of water at bedtime, never juice or milk. I am strict with this because he usually refuses to brush his teeth.

Hello R.,
What has worked for me with my daughter was to teach her how to fall asleep on her own. The other important thing is to make sure the baby is warm dressed, especially their feet; warm fluffy socks or warm and comfy booties. Sometimes babies wake up at night from simply being cold and they don't know how to fall back to sleep on their own. Here is an article I have saved for you;

Step 1 When your child calls out for you or starts crying after you have put him to bed, wait for a minute or two, then go to him but do not turn on the light in his room or take him out of the crib.

Step 2 Speak quietly to your child and reassure him that you are there if he needs you. But also be firm about the fact that it is time for sleeping and not for talking. Then leave the room while your child is still awake.

Step 3 The next time he cries (which may be immediately after you leave), wait a minute longer than you did the first time, then repeat the process.

Continue in this fashion, letting your child cry a little bit longer each time before you go to him. Speak to him briefly, and leave the bedroom while he is still awake. On the second night, wait a little longer than you did the first time on the first night before going in to your child, then repeat the pattern. By the second or third night, you may well find that your child is already going to sleep sooner.

When your child wakes in the night and cries for you, use the same technique. Let him cry for four or five minutes, then go to him, reassure him that you are there, and leave. Return at lengthening intervals as necessary. Eventually, your child will learn to put himself to sleep without your help. The associations that he once may have needed-having his back stroked or a lullaby sung to him until he fell asleep-will gradually be replaced with others: Being in his crib with his special toy or blanket, for example, will be enough.

You can rest assured that a little bit of crying will not hurt your child. In the long run, allowing him to cry for a few minutes at a time for a few nights will be far more beneficial to him (and to the rest of the family) than allowing a poor sleeping pattern to persist. Using this method, success can come remarkably quickly, almost always within a couple of weeks once you start it, and often within just three or four nights.

Hmmm....I have been lucky on this sort of thing with my daughter but we still haev those nights when it doesnt go so easily. I usually will put in a cd of relaxing lullabies ( I got it at Target) and sit in her room in teh rocker and she will fall asleep in about 10 minutes. Sometimes, they just hate to be alone that is what my daughters problem is on some nights... I hope this helps. Wish I had more advice. Have a great day

Like Bridget, I dont know what age your little one is and also if you are out of the house working during the day. If you work outside the home when she "puts herself to sleep in the daytime," it may just be she wants some mommy-time. I was a first time mom at 34 and know that it's difficult to figure it all out. Both of my daughters were different at bedtime and they both turned out fine. Don't stress over it unless the stressing is for you. My mother always told me "Love covers a multitude of sins".

I know this didn't help much with the practical side of it but life is too short. Love her and hold her and spend quiet time with her before bed!

R., I know you wrote this a few days ago so you probably got alot of responses already, but I had the same problem so I had to tell you what worked for both of my boys. You know those aquariums that hang on your baby's crib? Well a couple of nights with that and my baby's we're off. I did have to let them cry for those days and even come in and wind it back up, so they would notice it after they calmed down. I know everyone says "just let them cry, but IT IS HARD! Easier said than done! Right?! Well just try it if you havent got one already they sell at Toys R Us online for like $20.00. Not too bad for a good nights rest for you and baby!
Peace&Love, A.

Hi R.,But it had become part of the bedtime routine. (I should mention that if I was not at home and daddy put him to bed, he didn't fuss about no nursing) Then one weekend he spent the weekend at my sister's house with his cousin and she obviously didn't nurse him. He came home from that little excursion and has refused to nurse since. I feel comfortable knowing that I didn't force it and it just naturally happened.

Someone else in these responses suggested you continue giving the bottle at bedtime if that is the routine and snuggle with your daughter as much as you can. I would definitely agree with that. If you want to start reading or rocking with the routine, then you can eventually start to do more of the reading and less of the bottle and it will naturally happen.

If you are going to change anything, I"d try to ween from the bottle first before changing the routine. Avent makes a transition sippy and so does Nuby. The Nuby one is more like the soft nipple on the bottle, so I might start there. That's what my son learned on. See what she likes and keep offering it to her.

Also don't feel bad about anything you've done. We're all in the same boat - learning as we go. I feel that some of these responses were a little harsh. But I believe every child is different and what works for one does not work for all. There is no mom out there who has not struggled with something.

Hope that helps,
K.

Dear R. J.;

I was not one to let my daughter cry either and that is what her pediatrician said that I should do....it never worked for me because I felt that it hurt me more than it taught her so I had to find another way to achieve my goal and make us both happy.

Her crying at night when its bedtime is most likely for more than one reason. First its because she knows that all she has to do to get the result she desires from you is to cry, so crying is a means to a "reward" for her. As hard as it is to do, you can not fall into her "plan" to get you back in the room and pick her up. EASIER SAID THAN DONE......I KNOW.

Decide on a routine for every single night and stick with it. My routine was bath, pjs, cuddling, and reading a story. After story time was over, then came the hugs and kisses and in the bed she went for the night. Did she cry?? Yes and it killed me....I waited approx. 10 mins. then entered her room, gave her a hug DID NOT PICK HER UP WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTED AND IT WAS WORSE THAN THE CRYING, BUT I KNEW THAT I COULDN'T OR EVERY THING ELSE THAT I HAD TRIED TO DO WOULD BE WASTED TIME.
Praise her for staying in her bed or crib, talk to her and reassure her that it is bedtime and every one is going to sleep.

Stop giving her a bottle in the chair right beside her bed before she lays down for a nap. You are creating a pattern that she clearly sees is not being repeated at bedtime. She associates the bottle in the chair with the bed and her falling asleep. DO NOT DO THE SAME AT NIGHT TIME AND STOP DOING IT AT NAP TIME. If she is hungry and needs a bottle before nap time, either hold her in another room or have her sit on the couch or whatever to drink it, wait about 15 minutes and then put her in her bed for her nap. DO NOT DO ANYTHING IN HER ROOM RIGHT BEFORE SHE IS ABOUT TO BE PUT IN HER CRIB OR BED.....YOU ARE DEFEATING YOUR PURPOSE AND SHE IS GETTING EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTS JUST LIKE ALL BABIES DO. THEY ARE EXTREMELY SMART AND THEY PICK UP ON EVERY LITTLE DETAIL WHEN YOU AND I DON'T.

Also, if this doesn't work then you have to do something to keep her from getting her nap during the day so that she will be more sleepy at night or limit her nap time. She has to be really tired at night to go to sleep and is probably more stimulated during that time and that is also why she can't fall asleep on her own.

Let me know how it works out and remember.....her crying will always hurt you more than it is hurting her because you are her mother and that is the way that God planned it.

God bless and good luck,
T. H.

Well, you failed to mention your child's age which I think does make a difference. I don't believe in letting a child cry to sleep either. Now that my daughter turned 2 yrs old we are facing new sleep challenges. She wont let you rock her, she tries to reason with you i.e. one more wiggles or say goodnight to the moon anything to get you to take her out of the crib. She will scream and when I come to get her, her face is full of tears etc but as soon as I pick her up she starts to laugh and play and tries to get out of my arms. She is a scammer now but younger children have different reasons for not wanting to stay in their crib, some just aren't tired, some are overly tired, some are scared to be alone or dealing with separation anxiety etc. What I did with my daughter was I would put toys or a book in her crib to play with and we have a moo cow that lights up and says moo so she can see for a little while to read. I also give her a bottle and a pacifier. For me it was more important that she be able to fall asleep on her own then wean her form a bottle. Some other things to try, when my daughter was around 1 yrs old we would do a wind down theme… bath, book and bed once she was around 1 1/2 we had a more get her energy out routine…dance for a while to the wiggles (of course we all participated) or a long walk were she ran or walked most of the way. A routine is key but you need to realize that sometimes your routine needs to change as the child gets older. My daughter was so full of energy that we realized once she was running good etc that she needed to get that energy out before bed. Figure out what works for you and your child. Remember all children are different and what worked for me might not work for you. Also, trying moving her bed time up and down to see if maybe she is too tired or not tired yet. Finding the right bed time can make a world of difference. It is always harder to get a child that is overly tired to bed just as it is harder to get a child that is not sleepy to bed. Try different things out and see what works for you. Good luck bed time is always a challenge with young kids.

R. you're child is 14 months old. You are trying to wean her off the bottle and get her in a crib..I weaned my son off the bottle as soon as he was able to hold a cup. I still do give him a bottle at bed. That's actually his way of telling me when he's ready.(for nap or bed).He asks for a baba..If you are so concerned about her sleeping with it, once she's a sleep, go take it..My younger son had the same problem and unfortunately you just got to let them cry..They need to know otherwise your child will be 5 and still sleep with you..I feel you are throwing too many changes at her..Just remember there only young once.