Sleep Issues - Lawton, OK

Updated on August 03, 2009
S.C. asks from Lawton, OK
12 answers

Oh please- I am in need of some desperate help. My daughter is a year and a half, and a complete joy. A complete joy- until naptime and bedtime. She cries, and fusses and screams for sometimes two and three hours before finally giving in for a nap. And yes- before anyone says anything- she's tired. She's rubbing her eyes, and whining and not interested in playing with anything. She has a naptime routine, and a bedtime routine which I stick to daily. She gets drinks, teething tablets to help her sleep, her snuggly blanket, and I hold her for several minutes while we say goodnight to our animal friends and toys. Once I put her down, that's when the crying starts. I know the problem is that she wants to be rocked to sleep, but she is getting close to thirty pounds and I simply can't do that. Besides that- she's too big for that now. I go in and check on her on occasion, and tell her it's time to sleep... making sure that she doesn't need anything. And I will hold her for a few minutes and then put her down again. This has seemed to work until about three weeks ago. Now naptime, and bedtime are awful, and she'll wake up in the middle of the night and take sometimes two hours or better before falling back to sleep. I am truthfully at my breaking point- my entire day is revolving around her and her sleeping issues. I am a single parent who desperately needs more ideas to try. Please help.

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T.B.

answers from Fayetteville on

I was going to say the same thing as Cherrie C. Don't pick her up and don't talk to her. Just pat her to let her know you're still there and leave--and every time make it a little longer before you go back in there. I have also seen the Super Nanny technique and would def. give that a try but also from the show...don't give in and pick her up just once or you have to start all over. I have three kids and one thing that helped them all at some point was to play a radio/cd softly. For one it helped cover the little noises in normal daily activity but I had also read that when they wake up in the middle of the night and the house is silent they get scared because they think they may be alone. We've done lullaby cds and books on tape, etc. but I always put it on as I went out their room and it helped them know it was bedtime soothe them to sleep. I know it doesn't feel like it when you're exhausted but it will get better! Good luck! :)

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S.W.

answers from Montgomery on

Try getting her a night light. She may be going through a phase were she is afraid of the dark. I am not sure at what age my oldest was, but he went through a spell of monsters under the bed and in the closet.

Another thing is you mentioned she was too big to rock. Try making the old rocking time into story time. If you have a nice big comfy chair, let her snuggle up to you and read her a story. Your not rocking her, but she is still getting snuggle time with mommy.

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R.E.

answers from Tulsa on

I highly recommend Marc Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child." We followed his advice with both our children, and used his "rapid extinction" method starting a little after 4 months of age. They largely go down without a fuss. Our eldest is two now, and he doesn't like to go to bed, but he knows we mean it when we say good-night and he only fusses a few minutes, if at all. Our 6-month-old had colic the first months of life and still a bit more high strung, so he tends to cry a bit longer, but he's still doing much better at falling asleep on his own and sleeping through the night, only waking once or twice for a feed.

I also gave the book to one of my sisters-in-law whose one-year-old daughter was not sleeping through the night and my s.i.l. was exhausted. (She's a single mother with two children and is going to school.) And following the advice in this book, her daughter finally started sleeping through the night and not needing to sleep in bed with her mommy anymore. Weissbluth explains child neurological development, the importance of sleep, how to identify when your child is ready to go to bed (which is before she shows signs of exhaustion), and also things to tell yourself when your child inevitably protests. Children need a lot more sleep than they tend to get, and you'll be surprised - the earlier you put her down, the longer and better she'll sleep. It may just take a week or two for her to adjust to the new routine, but then you'll both be happier. :) Good luck with everything!!

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K.B.

answers from Lawton on

maybe its time to give up naptime!! that will help her sleep through the night and she will be more tired and ready for bed at bedtime tell her 30 mins in advance its almost bedtime seemed to help with my kids when i tell them its time to wind down cause bedtime is coming soon

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J.S.

answers from Tulsa on

My son went through the same thing around 18mo old. Our peditrician recommended after his sleep routine to leave the room. You can continue to go back in and check on her every 10-15 minutes to make sure she's not wet or anything. If she's fine, tell her she's ok, she's safe and it's time to sleep. Then leave the room (only be in there about 10 seconds or so). It took 3 nights of this for my son to start going to easily but it worked! Good luck.

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E.B.

answers from Baton Rouge on

You said you were giving her teething tablets before putting her to sleep, from my experience with the teething tablets is it perks my kids up. That could be why she's not sleeping.

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C.C.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think the picking her up and holding her a few minutes each time is actually not helping. She seems to think if she crys long enough you will come in and hold her which is exactly what she wants anyway. Just go in, don't say a word, pat her back, lay her back down. The other thing I've seen done on those nanny shows is to sit in a chair or on the floor in her room at bedtime. After you say goodnight you don't say anything else. You stay till she is asleep. The next few days you move the chair closer and closer to the door. Then finally the chair is outside the door. Good luck. I know it's easy to feel like a monster mom when you haven't had enough sleep.

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L.S.

answers from New Orleans on

You might try putting her down a little earlier. Yes she sounds tiered but she may be too tiered to be self-soothing effectively.
Also stop picking her up. Once you have made sure she is in a fresh diaper, has a full tummy put her down and make sure she is safe, then walk away. you can go check on her every 15 min., but do not pick her back up. In rocking her to sleep you have been doing the soothing and she is now having trouble learning to do it herself because she expects you to do it.
She will learn if you allow her too.
The same applies at night let her cry a bit if she doesn't settle herself in 20 min or so. go check- fresh diaper- back to bed - once you know she is safe you have to let her cry.
This should resolve itself within the month if you are consistant.
Good Luck!

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J.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I don't really have any advice because I have a 3 year old who recently won't sleep.. But I wanted to respond in some way. I was a single mom for about a year and it was so very challenging. So I know what you're going through.. and then add on not sleeping! I remember those nights well. How long has she been doing this? I would just keep up the routine you have.. is she in a crib? Lay her down, say your goodnights and don't go back in. I think when you go back in repeatedly it makes it worse. Not saying you do that, but that's something I've learned. Once I say goodnight, that's it.. I know he's fine even if he's crying for a few minutes. He will eventually go to sleep. Mamas need their sleep too! Hang in there..

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A.M.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I agree with most of the Mom's who have responded. Your sweet daughter will be very happy and rested and so will you once she has the ability to go to sleep on her own. The only way to obtain that skill is practice. I put my 7 month old down and say "night night" and walk out of the room and watch as he gets comfortable and then falls asleep without any fuss. He wakes up happy and we both get great sleep. Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child is a WONDERFUL book. As long as she knows you are still around (checking on her in intervals) and don't pick her up, she will happily go to sleep on her own. She may cry at first but she isn't hurt, she is just frustrated because she doesn't have any experience doing it herself. Hope that helps.

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B.A.

answers from Huntsville on

First of all your baby is not to old to be rocked. One day you will look back and wished you had that time to rock again. Besides you said you recently divorced, this also affects kids too. You may not think at this early age,divorce would, but it does. Plus see if something is going on with who ever is taking care of her while you are at work. It will not hurt for you both to sleep in same bed, aleast for a while. She needs you just as much as you need her. You need the closeness of each other. She will be grown up before you know it, I know. Time goes by really fast! I pray that you trust your motherly self, put your self in your daughters place. God Bless B.

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